She is standing on her balcony, watching the sparkling lights of Chicago. The slight wind feels good on her skin. She is only wearing her short nightgown, but the night is warm. With time she leans just a little bit more over the banister to get a better view over the city she loves so much. Right now she is pretty sure that there is no place on the whole world where she would feel more comfortable and more at home. Suddenly she feels two strong arms grabbing her from behind and holding her tight. His warm hands feel good on her skin and she leans in his touch. His hands wander down over her belly and to her waist and than taking her hands in his. She leans back, resting her head on his shoulder. She could stay like this for hours, because it is just the most wonderful feeling to be near someone she loves. When she turns around and sees his face she is shocked. He looks hurt and unhappy, just sick. He is looking at her and then he lets her hands go, stepping backwards until he disappears in the darkness. She is screaming and crying, but it seems like nobody is hearing her. And suddenly the ground underneath her is opening and she falls down. Faster and faster until there is nothing more than a big black whole and she can't see or feel or hear anything anymore.
Diane startles and jumps from her bed. She is wet. Wet from her sweat. She is breathing heavily and she feels a sudden pain in her left chest, near her heart. Diane needs some minutes to get back to normal. She is sitting with her back against the headboard, because her body is still shaking like crazy and she needs time to realize what just happened. Since she is back in Chicago, she gets this kind of nightmares nearly every night. It is driving her crazy and at the same time it doesn't help her to forget him. A short glance at her nightstand tells her that it is already 4.30 am. There is no need for her to go back to sleep, because she has to get up in a few hours anyway and she is not going to risk another nightmare. Diane walks down in the kitchen and starts the coffeemaker. After her coffee is ready she sits down on her couch and turns on the TV. She switches from channel to channel until his face appears on the screen. She nearly spills some of her fresh coffee, but she can pull herself together in the last second. He speaks at the inauguration from something... she is not sure...she remembers him saying something about a museum or something, but she is totally hypnotized by his face. The last time she had seen him is at the airport and that was 7 days ago. She wonders if she will ever be able to watch him on TV again without having turned her belly upside down. She turns the TV off again. She can't take this right now and she definitely needs time to be able to talk about him or even see him on TV. Alicia already made some moves towards her and offered a listening ear, but Diane is just not ready for it. Not yet. It is too fresh and the wounds are still too deep. She knows that all of that is alone her fault, but she is still sure that it was the best solution for both of them. Even when she misses him like crazy and dreams of him every night.
She is arriving to work early this day. That is nothing strange theses days, since Diane returned from Washington she is there at 6.30 every morning. The other partners are heading in at 8 am. Until then Diane already finishes a lot of paperwork. Of course Alicia and Will had noticed her strange behavior already, but seriously...what should they do? Will is totally confused anyway, because he can't place Diane's moves lately. Since her breakdown in Washington he has absolutely no idea how to deal with the whole situation. And Alicia.. well Alicia hadn't talked to Diane since the incident in the elevator. Lately she can't recognize her best friend, but she could see that Diane is in pain. And even when she saw the posters on every wall in Washing, she still doesn't know the whole story to them.
On this particular morning Alicia steps out of the elevator at 8 o'clock. Like every morning. And like every morning Diane is already there, sitting in her office, but she is not working. She is staring out of the window, her fingers are playing with the necklace she is wearing everyday since she returned from their trip. Alicia doesn't know why she is so obsessed with that jewelery, but she is sure she could guess it...
For some hours Alicia tries to work, she really does. But she couldn't help glancing over to Diane's office from time to time only to see her staring out of the window as if there is nothing more interesting in the world as the slow traffic of Chicago. At 1 pm Alicia can't take it any longer. She stands up, grabs her purse and her coat and walks over to Diane's office. She carefully knocks, but she could see Diane jumping in her seat anyway. She must have been far, far away. After Diane winks her in, Alicia opens the glass door and steps inside. After closing the door she gathers her thoughts and takes a deep breath. "Whats the matter?" Diane's voice doesn't sound sharp, but a little bit cold to Alicia. "I'm heading out for lunch. I wondered if you'd like to join me?!" There was an award silence after her question, but Diane needs some seconds to list the pros and cons in her head. "Why not." Is her final answer and Alicia couldn't be happier. Together the both women leave the office and step into the elevator. Only minutes later they are leaving the building side by side.
They are sitting in their favorite restaurant. Silently. After they ordered their food, they are now slipping their Martinis and just starring at each other. After the silent becomes just insupportable, Alicia just starts to bubble. "The necklace... it's from him, right?" It is the first thing that comes to her mind, because Diane had started to play with the blue jewelery again. Diane sights. "Yes." Alicia nods. "Do you miss him?" Diane turns her head away. She needs a little bit longer to answer this time, but after a deep breath she is able to hold Alicia's gaze again. "Yes, I do." Alicia feels so sorry for Diane. Only now she can see the pain she carries with her since Washington. "Do you love him?" Diane laughs nervously. It is cold and sharp. She looks away again. Until she is sure that Alicia had already seen the tear running down her cheek. She nods. "Yes, I love him." Alicia takes Diane's hand in hers. "Come on. Tell me everything that happened. I'm listening." And Diane's thankful smile makes her feels automatically better.