Open Your Heart – Unbearable

by taitofan

Rated PG-13 for sexual situations

Disclaimer: If Kingdom Hearts were mine, Isa and Lea would be happy together right now. So obviously, nope, not mine!

Author's Note: I saw some theories about KH3 that made me want to cry, so this just kind of came out. This is about as much angst as I ever write, so I'll be back to happier stuff next time!

If you have any CC, please share and I'll listen. Please read, review, and enjoy! Finished 07-03-13

The silence was unbearable.

Isa had called him a variety of names over the years, most said with affection and a smile. But Isa hadn't been smiling when he called Lea a bastard and locked himself in their room, and Lea couldn't blame him. What he'd said… He still couldn't believe he'd done something so incredibly stupid.

It was his fault the argument broke out, he knew it. He knew Isa was still recovering from Xehanort's possession, still trying to assure himself that he was no one but himself. He was still afraid of losing Lea to the memory of Roxas. Lea knew that. And yet, he'd still, in the heat of the moment, called his best friend and lover Saix.

He didn't think he'd ever seen Isa look so incredibly heartbroken as the moment the name passed his lips.

Lea didn't particularly care if people still called him Axel. It was annoying, and it brought up memories he'd rather forget, but Axel had still been him. But Saix had been different. Saix had started out as Isa, but once Xehanort marked him, he'd begun to change, until Isa could barely be seen in him anymore.

He thought back to the argument, to Isa's hurt expression when he confronted him.

'I heard Sora speaking to his friends… He thought it was odd we of all people are so close. Apparently, Axel told him, before he died, that Roxas was the only one in the Organization that he liked, because he made him feel as if he had a heart. …You really felt that way?'

Lea tried to explain as gently as possible that at the point, yes. Saix was a dick by the end. Every single member of Organization XIII was, with the expectation of Roxas. He'd tried to explain that it was only a friendship thing, but Isa hadn't taken that any better. They were, after all, best friends as well as lovers. All the years spent together versus the year Axel had known Roxas couldn't compare.

They yelled, they accused, things were said that neither of them honestly meant… And then Lea had said it.

'Dammit Saix, will you listen to me?'

Isa's response had been quick and painful—the look in his eyes went from angry to hurt in seconds, and Lea hadn't had the chance to apologize before he was out of the room and locked inside the bedroom.

He didn't know why he'd said it. He hadn't called Isa that in the present tense since they got their hearts back. Even possessed, it was Isa. But he'd been so upset that Isa wasn't listening to him, and it just felt so much like an argument Axel and Saix would have—!

And now he found himself outside the locked door, pleading for Isa to let him in. But no matter how many times he apologized, swore he hadn't been thinking and didn't mean it, Isa refused to answer. Lea refused to move until he got his answer though. He was going to set things right, no matter what.

"I know you don't want to listen to me right now, and I don't blame you… But there's something I've never told anyone about Roxas. The way I felt about him…" He laughed, but it sounded hollow. "You're gonna think this is stupid, but I thought he was more like, I dunno, my brother or something. I cared about him, but not the same way I did for you. I just wanted to protect him, and I failed miserably. But what did I expect? I couldn't protect you from losing your heart or getting possessed. I can't even manage to not upset you. I'm such a—"

Lea was abruptly interrupted when the sound of a lock clicking met his ears. He quickly stepped away from the door just in time for it to open. Isa was still frowning and his eyes were full of uncertainty, but Lea was relieved just to see him.

"You're an idiot, I know. I signed the waver years ago when we started dating." Lea couldn't help his grin—if Isa was making jokes, he wasn't as angry. Isa forgave him. Things would be okay. "But I swear, if you ever call me Saix again when you're angry…" He didn't finish his threat. He didn't have to, because Lea knew very well how good he was at making creative punishments.

"I won't," he promised, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Isa, who returned the hug readily.

Maybe things still weren't perfect, but Lea swore he would never hurt Isa like that again. And this was one promise he was determined to keep, no matter what.