It Happens

"It may hurt to let go

But it hurts more to hold on to nothingness"

Chapter 21

Katherine's POV

"I can walk," I tell Paul as he lifts me out of the truck.

"The doctor said take it easy." Paul says, slamming the truck door with his foot then carrying me out of the garage.

"I'm not going to run a marathon, Paul."

"Doesn't matter. Oh, I forgot to tell you Emily's postponing the party till Saturday."

"So let me guess, I'm not allowed out of the house until then?"

"If you know the answer don't ask the question." I glare up at him for using my words against me.

"Just don't drop me," I mutter as he opens the door.

"What-?" his grip loses on me slightly as we step inside the house. "What the fuck happened here? What- holy fuck," he places me down. "This is our house right?" He looks down at me, eyes wide, jaw slack.

I giggle, "Close, this is our home." His jaw lifts to form a kid-on-Christmas-morning smile.

"Home, I like the sound of that," he sighs.

"Go have a look around," I urge, pushing him with my shoulder.

"God," he mutters walking forward. He freezes when he looks through the door frame to the left.

I chuckle, walk over, place a kiss on his cheek, and whisper "Happy birthday."

"You're amazing."

"I know," I say, walking past him and down the hall to the kitchen. I grab a glass of water and take a seat on a stool at the island bench and cuddle the glass of water like a drunk the morning after a big night. I told Paul last night that I was going to tell him everything when we got home; I don't think he understood what I meant by everything though.

It felt so good to get some secrets off my shoulders last night, and I just want to get all that unneeded weight off my shoulders now. I listen to Paul wandering around, opening doors and letting a curse or two slip here and there. After a while he walks by me to the sunroom, then he checks out the deck, returning to take a seat next to me with an amazing smile plastered on his face. "You're happy," I smirk.

"How did you do this? How did you afford this? How did I not find out?"

"You know I love you more than anything, or one, in this world, right?" His smile shrinks slightly at my tone.

"Of course I do Kat; why would you ask that?"

"Last night when I told you I was pregnant a whole lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders. No one, and I mean no one, knows my whole story. People know bits and pieces, you know a fair bit, not all in the right order or outcome. So I'm going to talk, you're going to sit there and listen, not interrupt me, okay?"

"Kat, you're scaring me?" he says. His smile is completely gone.

"I'm scared too, but if I don't tell you my story now, I never will… it's just going to keep eating me alive." He grabs my hands from the glass and holds them in his.

"Whenever you're ready," he whispers, looking me in the eyes. I take a deep breath and talk.

"I always loved my mum more than my dad and I thought that was okay. Jake was daddy's boy and I was a mummy's girl. Everything in my life was normal before my mum died. All I ever wanted out of life was to find a nice guy, get married, have two kids, a mummy's girl and a daddy's boy, watch them grow up then spend the rest of my life growing old with the man I signed my heart away to."

"But after my mum died and while dad was in a coma, I… I lost all I knew; my parents were meant to watch Jake and I grow up, then they were going to grow old and die together. I had thoughts of pulling the plug on dad, so he and mum stayed together, and… and I did. I told the nurses I tripped over the cord. I sobbed my heart out to them saying it was an accident even though I was glad when I heard the mushiness stop. But then he woke up…"

"I hated my dad when he woke up, still do a bit, he always told mum wherever she went he would be right with her. He lied. I couldn't look at him without thinking about how much I hate him. I called my Aunt Kelly, she was the only family I knew off the Rez. I told her I needed a fresh start. A ten-year-old that needs a fresh start; it's pathetic, but I knew if I stayed I would do something I would end up regretting."

"I had never been off the Rez in my life, not even to Forks. So the outside world was bit of a shock to me. Kelly came and picked me up, took me to Port Angles where we got on a plane, first class, and flew to New York. She was marred to her third husband by then. I asked her if husband one and two died, she just said she sucked them dry. I didn't like her thoughts on marriage and men, but I didn't hate them either."

"Kelly had never looked after a kid in her life and just let me do whatever I wanted. The man she was with was a high shot layer and became a better dad to me then my own blood. I still call him every month even though Kelly divorced him no more than a year after I moved in with them. I was sent to the best of schools with the richest girls and the richest boys; no one had a worry in the world and I loved it. I was free to find who I was."

"By the time I was thirteen, Kelly was working on husband five and had no clue what I was doing. That was around the time I jumped the tracks, I started drinking, smoking, I never did drugs but everyone around me did, started having sex with guys six years older than me. It was just… sex, it was like marriage in my eyes, you have it with as many men you can get and hope you get something out of it."

"When I was sixteen I found out I was… pregnant, and told no one. Kelly was off looking for husband number six and I just… tried to forget about it. A few weeks later I was out drinking with some friends and I started to feel this shooting pain, I was rushed to the hospital, police escort and all, but by the time I got to the hospitable I wasn't pregnant anymore. That's when I called it quits on men. I would only do women after that because there were no worries about getting pregnant or married."

"One night when I was seventeen, staggering home drunk, husband number three found me, Dan. He was horrified by what I had become and took me back to his house to sober up and tell him how a bright girl like me could end up like that, and I told him most of my story. Kelly was finishing up with husband number six and still didn't care about me. I was alive – good enough. Dan thought differently and invited me to move in with him and his new wife Annie."

"From the day I moved in with Dan, Annie, Annie's twelve-year-old daughter Penny and her five-year-old brother Knox, life was brighter. I knew I still didn't want a man – marriage, kids, not for me. Penny's the one that got me into reading; she's blind, has been her whole life but the girl always sees the bright side of life, and she loves books so I started reading to her. I quit smoking, quit partying. Dan said I was allowed to drink, but only at home and nothing strong. He didn't want me going cold turkey and risk me going back to the streets to get my fix."