I have a feeling this chapter might be a little bit upsetting to some of you. I want you to keep in mind that both Nathan and Haley are going to go through some ups and downs. What can I say, as much as I love smooth sailing, I have a lot of fun writing a bumpy road. Thank you so much for reading!

Chapter 21

Nathan bit down on the tip of his thumb, pacing his childhood room. He wasn't even worried about being in this room or this house at the moment.

He felt nervous as hell about what he'd admitted to himself. He could hardly sleep at all throughout the night.

In love?

He'd never been in love. He wasn't even sure he'd ever wanted to be in love.

He was in love.

His eyes narrowed in on Haley, and his panic subsided. At least he was in love with the most amazing girl in the world.

Shit. That was a good feeling that shot through him. The electricity at even the thought of being in love with Haley.

She was only sleeping. But damn. She was gorgeous. Hair fanned out across the pillow. There was a little bit of light shining through the opening in the curtains, shining on her, which he figured would probably wake her up soon.

His gaze shifted to the curtains, and he felt the panic rise in him again.

There's no way he could tell her... Right?

They had not been dating for that long. He wasn't exactly sure when the appropriate time to tell someone something that big.

No, he wasn't going to tell her.

Nope.

That definitely wasn't going to happen.

He wasn't going to say anything to anyone.

Nathan shook his head, forcing himself to look at Haley once again. She calmed him. He just needed to... Stare at her all day?

He wasn't in love. No, not yet.

Maybe someday he would be.

His gaze shifted to her once again, sucking in a deep breath.

He turned around again after a second, staring around his room once again. He could convince himself that he wasn't. He was getting so attached to her. Falling in love was maybe... Too attached. So he couldn't fall in love.

"Hey, you. Take off all your clothes and get back in bed," Haley hummed from the bed, sitting up a little bit, blinking up at him.

Nathan froze in his spot, keeping his gaze focused on the wall.

Yeah, he was in love with her.

He turned around after a second, a small smile forming on his face.

Without another word, he tugged his t-shirt over his head, tossed it to the side and made his way over to the bed.

xxxx

Haley looked over at her fidgeting boyfriend. He wouldn't stop moving, and looked like he was in some type of daze. She'd rested her hand on his arm during breakfast earlier that morning, and he'd jumped about ten feet in the air and sent her a panicked expression.

She couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. When they'd gone to bed last night, he was acting fine. When she'd woken up this morning, he'd acted fine. But once they hit breakfast, he seemed zoned out and distracted.

He'd briefly mentioned doing something with Lucas, but that was most he'd said to her, besides the basic one word answers.

Now she was sitting next to him on the couch, watching him play some video game on an older console that she couldn't put a name to, but she remembered her and her siblings playing on it occasionally when they were younger.

He was playing a basketball game with pretty horrible graphics, but he was enthralled by it.

Haley sighed softly, glancing down at the book she was reading, before closing it and setting it to the side, picking up a picture that was rested on the table to the side of the couch.

It was a picture of a younger Nathan, she guessed probably around thirteen with an older man with dark hair.

"Who is this?" She asked him softly, looking at him and raising her eyebrows.

Nathan glanced over at the frame in her hand, before his gaze flickered quickly back to the TV.

It took him a minute to answer, which annoyed Haley a little bit because she thought he was ignoring her question.

"My Uncle Cooper," He responded, clearing his throat.

"Good looking. Must be where you get it from," She teased, poking him with her foot lightly.

Nathan cracked a smile, staring at the TV in front of him, squinting slightly.

"The race car driver, right?" She asked him, nodding her head.

"Yep. My mom's brother," He told her, his fingers working at the joysticks, and pushing the buttons skillfully.

"How many siblings does she have?" Haley asked him, humming lightly.

"Just the one." He said, leaning back and letting out a deep breath. "He's about ten years older than me."

"Must've been fun." She said to him, looking at the picture once again, letting out a deep breath. "How old are you here?"

"Don't know," Nathan responded, sighing softly. "Probably around thirteen or so."

"When I was thirteen, I was rocking braces and a turtleneck," She informed him, smiling slightly. She set the picture on the table, scooting over to him.

"I'm sure you looked beautiful," Nathan told her, glancing over in her direction, nodding at her.

She laughed, resting her hand on the back of his neck, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "Thank you."

"You'll have to show me some pictures. I think you skipped over those ones when you were showing me the others," He chuckled, glancing over at her.

"We'll see. Let me play." She hummed, grabbing the controller out of his hand, turning and looking at the TV.

He looked over at her and nodding slowly, explaining how to play the game to her so quickly, so that not a single regrettable word could leave his mouth.

It had not even been twenty-four hours since he decided that he was in love with her, and he literally had to bite his tongue from telling her multiple times.

This was going to be a long week. After this, he might need to take a little trip back to New York and distance himself from Haley a little bit.

He watched her play the video game that he grew up playing, trying to suppress the thought of love, but what was the point? He was practically bursting with pride that the girl next to him was the one that he loved.

But he was only going to tell her if she told him. He'd never told anyone that, and he didn't want to scare her away.

He leaned over, pressing a kiss to the side of her head while she played, smiling as she tilted her head in his direction, leaning towards him.

He was so screwed. There was no way he couldn't tell her how much he loved her.

xxxx

The voice behind her hurt her ears, honestly. It was shrill, and high pitched, and way to annoying to be yelling her boyfriend's name across the mall.

Nathan's head snapped in the direction of his name. He let out a small sigh, glancing at Haley, before pinning a forced smile onto his face.

"Who is that?" Haley whispered, to him, glancing up in her direction. "Oh, she's coming over."

"Yeah," He said, his arm dropping from around her shoulders to his side. "That's Rachel."

"Rachel..." She trailed off, looking up at him and clearing her throat. "I guess even in bigger cities you run into old friends from high school."

"I guess," He responded, glancing over at Rachel once again.

As Rachel approached them, Nathan's smile turned into a smirk almost... Instinctively.

Yep, Haley definitely didn't like that.

"Nathan! I didn't know you were going to be in town!" Rachel rushed up to him, smiling brightly at him.

She was yelling almost as loud as she had when they were across the mall from each other. Haley had to force herself not to cover her ears.

"Yeah," Nathan responded, clearing his throat and nodding at her.

"Well, come here, stud," Rachel said, wrapping her arms around Nathan, pulling him into a tight hug.

Nathan raised his hand, patting her back, letting the hug last about four seconds, before stepping away.

"What are you doing here, Rachel?" Nathan asked her, clearing his throat.

"You know me, Nathan. I love the mall," Rachel hummed, gesturing around, batting her eyelashes up at him.

"Believe me, I know..." Nathan responded, smirking slightly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Haley raised her eyebrows, glancing between the pair. She frowned slightly at the flirtatious interaction.

"I'm actually a model, which I'm sure is no surprise," Rachel informed him, winking at him. "What are you doing in town?"

He nodded his head, looking down at her. "Just visiting Lucas. Been awhile since I've been back here."

Rachel took a very subtle step closer to him, resting her hand on his shoulder. "It's good that you spend time with Lucas."

"Yeah..." Nathan trailed off, clearing his throat. "So do you live here?"

"Pretty close, yeah. But I like this mall. I can't believe we're both here at the same time! I have seen you since the summer after graduation." Rachel purred out, brushing her hand over his shoulder. "Do you remember how much fun we had?"

"Sure..." He trailed off, letting out a deep breath. "Interesting how we both ended up here."

"Isn't it?" She hummed, licking her lips slowly.

What. The. Hell.

Haley watched as Nathan flicked his gaze to her mouth, before back to her eyes.

Okay... What the hell? She definitely didn't like this. The fact that Nathan had not given her a second glance since this girl walked up... Yeah, no. That was not a good sign. Stupid bitch.

"I was so sorry to hear about your mom," Rachel said, rubbing her hand down his arm, briefly holding onto his hand before dropping it. "I tried to reach out but you never answered. Did you change your number?"

"Uh... Nope." He said, rubbing the back of his head, shoving his hands back into his pockets.

Haley watched the slightly defeated look on Rachel's face, inwardly rolling her eyes. This girl screamed horny and desperate. Desperate for her boyfriend.

With that, she stepped forward, holding out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Haley," She said, a smile appearing on her face.

Nathan looked at her quickly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Right, uh... This is my girlfriend Haley." He told Rachel, squeezing Haley's shoulder lightly.

"Haley..." Rachel trailed off, nodding slowly. She shook her hand, letting out a deep breath. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Haley said, looking up at Nathan.

Nathan sighed softly, glancing down at her, before looking over at Rachel. "We better get going, Rach. It was nice seeing you."

"Wait!" Rachel said quickly, grabbing his arm. "Maybe we should... Get together while you're in town? Catch up a little. I've been up to a lot of interesting things..." She trailed off, winking at him.

"We'll see." Nathan said, nodding at her and letting out a small sigh. "Hales?"

"Mhm, let's go home," She said, sliding her hand around his waist, letting her hand slip into his back pocket.

Nathan raised his eyebrows, glancing down at her, sending her a nervous smile. "Bye Rachel."

"Bye Nathan," Rachel responded, batting her eyelashes, nodding at him.

"Bye," Haley cut in, turning them around quickly, beginning to hurry towards the exit.

Nathan looked over at Haley once they were in the car, clearing his throat and looking down at the steering wheel. "Haley..."

"Hm?" Haley asked, looking over at him and crossing her arms and raising her eyebrows.

"You're mad," He stated, nodding at her.

"No, I'm not." She defended herself, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry-"

"It's fine, Nathan." She cut him off, letting out a deep breath. "Actually, you know what? It's not fine."

"I'm sorry, Haley. What else do you want me to say?" He asked her, shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't know, Nathan. Maybe it's not about what you say? Maybe it's about how often you say it. Maybe it's about how often I just dismiss the things you do," Haley said, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back in her seat, sighing softly.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked her, frowning and shaking his head.

"I mean... Why the hell did you just give your ex girlfriend a stare down while I was standing right next to you?" She asked him, rolling her eyes.

"I didn't give her a stare down, and she wasn't my girlfriend." He stopped her, letting out a deep breath.

"Oh yeah? Then what was she?" She questioned him, tilting her head to the side.

"You know what, never mind..." He trailed off, letting out a deep breath. "For years, I was that guy, Haley. And all of the sudden, I'm trying to be a different guy that you want me to be. You can't just expect me after years of being that guy to be this other guy."

"So you knew what you were doing. Okay," Haley said, shaking her head and sighing.

"No, Haley. I forgot you were standing there- I mean... No, that's not what I meant." He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

Haley let out a deep breath, resting her hand on Nathan's leg, looking at him and nodding her head. "Am I forcing you to be someone you're not, Nathan?"

Nathan's eyes connected with hers, feeling his heart start thumping again. God, whoever said that brown eyes were the worst color of eyes had obviously never dated anyone with brown eyes. They were warm, and inviting. In the midst of an argument, he looked at her and the only feeling that overwhelmed him was the feeling of love.

He bit down on his tongue to stop himself from announcing his feelings, shaking his head.

"Okay. Good. I don't want you to be someone you don't want to be, Nathan. I just... Don't want you to stare at other girls. Let me know if I'm asking too much, because I can take a couple steps back." She said in a sarcastic tone, sending him a forced smile.

He shook his head again, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He opened his mouth to say something, before shaking his head again.

"So who is she? Someone you just fooled around with?" She asked him, shrugging her shoulders.

"Does it matter?" He asked her softly, letting out a deep breath. "I'm with you, Haley."

Haley sighed, looking out the window and leaning back in her seat, "Let's just go back to your house, Nathan."

"What about the beach?" He asked her, raising his eyebrows and frowning.

"I just want to lay down. I have a headache. We can go to the beach later today, or tomorrow. Or another day. We've only been here one day, and we've both lived here before so it's not like we haven't been to all these places." She said, keeping her gaze focused out the window.

Nathan nodded his head, moving to grab onto her hand but stopping himself, letting out a small sigh, beginning to drive home.

xxxx

"I just don't know what to do..." Nathan trailed off, groaning into the phone and shaking his head. "What do you two think?"

"Well..." Clay began, clearing his throat.

"So you were hitting on the red head. Right in front of Haley?" Quinn cut him off, letting out a loud sigh.

"A little bit. Not really, but..."

"This is the red head that texted you pictures of her for the first few weeks of school?" Clay questioned him.

"Yeah. She's a model or something now..." Nathan sighed, rubbing his neck.

"Don't say the 'or something.' You know damn well she's a model," Quinn said into the phone.

"So... This is the second time you've hit on other girls in the presence of Haley?" Clay asked him, rubbing his neck. "The first being Taylor at our wedding, and now Rachel."

"Shit. I'm a pig," Nathan groaned, pressing his face into his hands. "I didn't know that Taylor was a James. That was different."

"He's right, Clay. That was different," Quinn cut in once again. "If you don't mind me asking, Nathan... What were your thoughts when you saw Rachel approaching?"

"There was a cycle that ran through my head," He sighed, kicking his foot at the ground.

"Was one of them: Shit, that girl looks damn fine. I'd like to eat that up?" Quinn asked him, making her voice sound lower.

"That's not what he sounds like. And why is that the phrase you would suggest?" Clay asked her, laughing.

"I had a brief thought that passed through my head that she looked nice. Not hot, or beautiful, just nice." Nathan responded, dropping his head. "I suck."

"A little bit. But that's okay, Nathan. You're learning..." Quinn assured him, sighing again. "Pro tip though, try not to look down at someone's lips when they lick them. I'm guessing that's where it bothered her the most. Besides the fact that you forgot she was standing next to you. When Rachel did something she thought was sexy, and you responded in a way that made her think she is sexy, you're doing something wrong."

"Wise words," Clay said, clearing his throat. "And I wouldn't hang out with her this week either."

"What do I do to smooth things over, guys? How can I fix this? I didn't mean to... I think Haley is the best, and I don't want to screw things up, I mean god, I'm so in love with her and I just think that she's way out of my league. I don't know what to do. How can I fix this?" Nathan asked them quickly, waiting for a response but all he got was silence.

"What did you say?" Quinn asked him after a minute.

"How can I fix this?" Nathan repeated, letting out a deep breath.

"Before that." Clay cut in.

"She's way out of my league?" Nathan offered, rolling his eyes.

"Even before that." Quinn urged him, chuckling quietly.

Nathan thought back, freezing slightly. "Shit." He said, clearing his throat. "Shit, shit, shit. You two better keep your mouths shut. Do not tell her I said that."

"Quinn! Did you hear that? My boy is growing up!" Clay exclaimed, highfiving his wife.

"Do you mean that, Nathan?" Quinn asked him curiously.

"Can you two shut up? It's a new found discovery that I'm obviously doing a horrible job of keeping to myself..." Nathan ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a deep breath. "Please, don't say anything to anyone. It's so soon, and I don't want to freak her out."

"I don't think she'd freak out, Nathan." Quinn assured him.

"Why? Did she say something?" He questioned her quickly, clearing his throat.

"Well... No... But Haley isn't the type of freak out when people tell her that," Quinn hummed, letting out a deep breath.

"I need help, guys. What should I do?" Nathan asked them desperately, brushing off Quinn's comments.

"Nathan, I think you're thinking too hard. I feel like you haven't made one big decision in your relationship with Haley without consulting someone first. It's your relationship for you to fix, buddy. I'm sorry, but it's not that easy." Clay stated, sighing softly.

"I agree, Nate. I'm sorry too," Quinn said, "But a word of advice, try stepping up. Instead of apologizing, make her feel like she's the only person you want to have your eyes on."

Nathan sighed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "You two have helped me with about nothing. You guys suck. Thanks anyways." He grumbled, hanging up the phone and tossing it aside.

He stood up after a minute, heading up the stairs towards his room, rubbing his neck lightly.

He found Haley in his bedroom, sitting down on the bed, reading her book, glasses perched on her nose.

His mouth ran dry at the sight of her. How was he supposed to apologize if he was afraid he couldn't talk with confessing his feelings?

Haley felt his intense gaze on her, but she refused to glance over at him until he was seated on the bed next to her.

What he'd said earlier, in a way... It made sense. He had lived a certain lifestyle for years, and now he was trying really hard to to reverse that, and be in a committed relationship. She understood that he was trying, but that didn't make her feel any less annoyed at him.

And he'd tried to use his past as an excuse as to why it was okay for him to ogle at other women. Yeah, okay...

If she even brought up another guy's name, she could guarantee his ears would turn red, and he'd start interrogating her.

Not to mention he'd been acting like a jerk the whole day. He was hardly making eye contact, not even talking in complete sentences. She understood that being in his hometown, in his old house was difficult for him. But there was something else going on.

He was still watching her. Half of her wanted to tell him to let her be alone for a little while, and half of her wanted to throw her book to the side and cuddle up next to him.

"I wasn't flirting with her," He finally said, letting out a deep breath.

Haley sighed softly, closing her book and smacking his arm with it.

"Hey!" He frowned, shaking his head. "I wasn't, Haley. I shut down her advances."

"She held your hand, Nathan. For a couple seconds." Haley sighed, taking her glasses off her face, setting them and her book on the nightstand. "You stared at her lips."

"What? No I didn't," He argued, crossing his arms.

"I watched you," Haley said, shaking her head and letting out a deep breath. "You didn't even introduce me, Nathan. I had to introduce myself."

"Stop it, Haley." He said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not perfect, okay? Can you accept that?"

She looked at him, pushing her hand through her hair. She reached over, grabbing his hand and looking at him.

He let out a deep breath, meeting her eyes once again. "Haley, I..." He cleared his throat, squeezing her hand. "I don't want anyone else, okay? I'm sorry, and I'm sorry that I say that a lot. But I screw up a lot. I'm trying, Haley."

"I know you are, Nathan..." She trailed off, sighing softly. "And I'm grateful for that."

Nathan stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm going to go for a run," He informed her, letting out a deep breath. "I'll be back in a little while."

"You're just going to leave?"

"It stops me from saying things I don't want to say, Haley," He told her, nodding his head. "So, yeah... I'm just going to leave. I'll be back in a little bit."

Haley sighed, picking up her book once again, flipping it open, searching for her page. "Whatever. Just make sure you actually come back," She bit out, staring down at her book.

Nathan looked over at her, grabbing some running clothes from his suitcase, changing into them quickly, pulling on his shoes. "Call me if you need me. I'll keep my phone on."

"Mhm." Haley responded, keeping her eyes on the book and giving him a thumbs up.

Nathan let out a sigh, glancing at her and shaking his head, leaving to room slowly.

Haley rolled her eyes, glancing at the clock and sighing. This definitely wasn't how she thought their spring break together would go.

xxx

I just want to promise you right off the bat that Rachel won't play a huge role, and definitely won't mess up Nathan and Haley.