They say that when the stars align, lost souls are brought back and united.
x
Rita doesn't like rainy days.
Those are the days when the world is cold outside, the ground is wet, and the cars drive by with the intentions of splashing all pedestrians with one part mud, two parts water. Days when the thunderous pounding of rain on the roof keeps her awake at night and the rest of the world is eerily silent.
days when there's something, someone, something missing?
Idly she taps at her smartphone in a cozy booth at the cafe they often go to, near the university they study at. They being Estelle and Rita, because Yuri works odd jobs ("You know I was never book-smart anyway."), Karol is only starting high school, and Judith explores the world (funded by her game-winning poker face and cunning mind, "since he's not here anymore and I can't travel freely like I used to."), and university being the University of Zaphias (or UZaph, for short, not that it's of any interest, really), which apparently used to be a castle… or something. Rita doesn't really know (or care, actually).
She sips at her peppermint mocha latte, waiting for the pink-haired girl to finish her final exam of the first semester on this god-forsaken crap day.
In all honesty though, she doesn't know whether the rain today is a blessing or a curse. It could be a blessing because last night it woke her when she had that stupid fucking dream again about a man with tan skin and teal eyes dying in her arms, but it would be a curse because there's a hole in one of her boots, meaning that one sock was wet and squelched underneath her foot every other step she took. Step. Squish. Step. Squetch. Step. Squelch.
Memories of the past life, Judith calls them. Her dreams, obviously, not her stupid wet sock. Rita doesn't listen to her of course, because who believes in past lives and reincarnation and crap these days, anyway? Especially when her dreams seem to include magic and monsters and a giant octopus-shaped thing threatening to destroy a world that looked like Earth, but wasn't called Earth.
Maybe something happened that erased history? Yes, okay, thank you, Judith. Something that erased monsters from existence and destroyed the knowledge of magic that was never documented at all. That only makes sense, of course.
But Judith only ever gives her an enigmatic smile before she changes the topic and the dreams are forgotten.
don't forget. don't forget. i won't forget.
... forget what?
"Sorry I'm late!" Someone says breathlessly at her table. Rita looks up at Estelle as she slides into the opposite end of the booth, followed by a long-haired (swordsman?) bartender (for now). "My exam took me longer than expected, and I'm pretty sure I just about failed that multiple choice section-"
"Hey now, I'm sure you did fine," Yuri tries to console her. He slings an arm around her and rubs her shoulder, but she ignores him.
"And the long-answer questions were just so-!"
"Estelle," Rita cuts her off. "We all know you did fine. Stop worrying. You studied hard enough for us to know you aced that test." She licks the foam off the top of her lip. "And you're not late. I haven't been here very long anyway."
Estelle can only sigh and rest her head on her arms while Yuri orders her a caramel macchiato and gets himself a strawberry frappuccino, even though it's cold and wet outside (but Yuri doesn't care because he wants his cold, sweet fix).
They sit and chat until their cups are empty. Estelle gets up to throw the trash away, and once she's out of earshot, Yuri begs Rita for help in whispers.
"I really can't figure out what to get her for Christmas. What do you think she wants? I mean I thought I could get her a necklace or something but I don't know what she likes when it comes to that kind of crap."
"I don't know, you're the one dating her, not me," she says tiredly with her cheek in her palm. Oh yes, thank you, Rita. You're a big help. "I'm just getting her books this year. She'll like whatever you get her, anyway."
Yuri only groans in response taps away at his phone, no doubt texting Judith to ask for ideas. He nearly drops it when Estelle returns to drag Rita with her to the washroom, because Estelle's a girl and Rita's a girl, and girls always go to the washroom together (for some reason).
What Yuri doesn't know is that when the door shuts, Estelle pulls the same stunt he tried on the brunette.
"Do you think it's okay for me to get him jewelry? I mean since he's a guy, although I suppose lots of guys do wear jewelry these days anyway. Would a bracelet be okay? I saw something in this store the other day. I was thinking of something personalized with his name on it - last name, really, because that seems like a better idea, but then I don't think…"
"Estelle," Rita wipes her hands off with paper towels because they're more efficient than hand driers. Less noisy, too. "Whatever you get him will be fine, I swear. He's your boyfriend, for crap's sake. You know him better than I do."
By the time they return to their booth, Yuri has perked up and Estelle has stopped fidgeting. Rita only mutters to herself because honestly, she's just tired and a little bit grumpy (okay, maybe always grumpy), and she wants to go home to take a nice long nap.
wants to go out and search for something something someone something.
Rita stumbles in her step when they leave the cafe, not because of her stupid, still-wet sock going slch slch slch in her boot, but because she passes by a man with tan skin and teal eyes who reminds her all too much of magic and broken hearts.
But a stranger is a stranger. A nameless face. A faceless name.
Easy to forget.
She dreams of love that night. Dreams of spending quiet nights with a thirty-odd year old man before the fireplace of inns all across the world, sitting and breathing with a heartbeat and a whir.
She's young in these strange dreams - younger than her current nineteen years of life - living in a world without cars or computers or even basic electricity.
(At least until she invents it, of course, but that's long passed the scene where death kisses her lover in her arms.)
She dreams of love that night.
She dreams of love that night.
She dreams of loss that night.
x
Rita watches Raven carefully before she focuses on synchronizing Estelle with the others. She knows all too well that today, success might not be without loss… but he's willing to put his life on the line, as are the rest of them, and she has no choice but to follow through.
There's light gathering around them from all over the world - Rita realizes these are spirits coming out of blastia (minor sprites, really, unlike Undine and the others, but spirits nonetheless) and she wants to be surprised but there's simply no time for that now.
The world is a blur around them. The energy creates a haze like yellow-tinged fog in the air and Raven's breath is shallow, but he's standing and he's alive, and if they fail now the world is going is going to fall so Rita keeps her eyes forward and her stance strong.
She's scared because she's spent her entire life studying blastia, and soon - in just mere minutes - her life's research is going to go straight down the drain and she'll be so fucking useless again.
She doesn't want any of that at all, but really there's nothing else she can do if she wants to live.
The sky bursts into what looks like an array of multi-coloured shooting stars and fireworks. Duke is standing next to Yuri, facing the bright-coloured beings.
These are spirits too, her mind echoes. "All the Entelexeia who became the Adephagos…" Rita murmurs in wonder. Next to her, Karol keeps his eyes on the sky. "They all transformed into these spirits."
They gaze at the world for a few moments longer before someone collapses on his knee.
Fuck, Rita panics as she hurries to Raven's side. His clammy hand is clutching his shirt over his heart, and Rita easily pries that away to pull up his formula. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
She doesn't realize she's saying the words out loud until Raven chuckles breathlessly in her ear. "All that time you spent waitressin' in the Sagittarius rubbed off on ya, sweet cheeks. You've got quite the potty mouth," he wipes a speck of dirt off her face with shaking hands and a wince. She knows there's a twinge in his chest, can hear the sputtering of his mechanical heart - sees the defeat in his eyes. "You know, Rita…"
"Shut up," Rita hisses, fingers clacking nervously over the glowing keyboard. "Shut up, shut up, shut up. Don't say it. You're going to be fine, Raven. Don't say a word." There's a watery sheen in her eyes, but the man smiles when Raven replaces old man.
Sixty seconds pass, and he can see the faltering in her eyes.
"Please," It's barely audible - not even a whisper. Rita grinds her teeth and her fingers clack faster against the flickering windows. "Please work. Please, please, please, don't fucking go-"
The glowing frames shatter into pieces, the keyboard a mess of fading luminescent shards.
Raven falls forward into her arms, head cradled in her neck.
"Raven…?" With a groan, he lets her jostle him around as she moves to support his head and stroke his cheek. He blinks sleepily at her and smiles.
"It's okay, Rita." The tears are falling down her cheeks now, dripping onto his coat. "Man, I'm the worst, makin' ya cry like this." A deep rumble of amusement in his chest turns into coughs. "Look... I've been up for a while now, you know? I'm just… gonna take a short nap, okay?"
"No, no, no, no," Rita is mumbling to him. "Y-you have to stay with us, w-with me, okay? S-so don't you dare go to fucking sleep on me, Raven. Please." And Raven just brings a weak hand to her cheek and wipes away the tears, even though it's useless since they won't stop. (She's not sure if they'll ever stop.)
"Live for me, Rita," it's a whisper no one can hear but her. "Help this world... because they're going to need you."
Rita can only nod and swallow the lump in her throat.
"In another life, in another time..." he coughs weakly into his sleeve, "I'll come find you, okay? If ya don't mind waiting for an old fogey like me." He tries to grin, but it comes out a grimace instead.
Rita knows he knows she doesn't believe in life after death, but she gives him this.
"I'll wait for you. Okay? So come find me... A-and if you take too long, I'll come looking for you instead, b-because you know I don't have the patience to sit around and do n-nothing, right, old man?"
He chuckles. "... Right."
She tries to open her mouth, but he cuts her off first.
"I love you, ya know." he whispers warmly. He grasps the hand stroking his cheek and nuzzles into her palm. "My sun, my moon, my stars, my world..." she laughs chokingly, pathetically, brokenly at his stupid, idiotic, beautiful words, "my life... my love... my everything..."
She kisses the broken man in her arms and whispers, "I love you, too, Raven."
He smiles and lets his eyes shut the world out. For once he thinks he's truly, honestly, undoubtedly the happiest man alive, before he slips away.
x
She's not quite sure why she's here in front of the odd store, only that there's a bright gold choker-type necklace with a red gem in its center that catches her eye through the window and lures her in.
The store is filled with unique things, she finds. Ancient relics, the signs say, but why would they be for sale if they should be in a museum instead? Although some of the jewellery looks like the stuff passed down in Estelle's family, now that she thinks about it, and most of them seem to have little gems on them. Single gems for each piece, really, and yes, they're bright and shiny, but there's a certain… lackluster in them. Something missing to make them feel… alive?
Except rocks can't be alive.
victoria… ekaterine… maria...
She used to study them, actually, before she changed her major. Mineralogy, she'd been interested in - finding these gems and figuring out how they could be used to increase conductivity, looking for ways to make them useful to the world while admiring their shine… but there was always something missing, something empty... so she turned to electrical engineering instead.
Of course, with her brain and her work ethics, scholarships definitely made it easy to go through school without worrying about tuition.
She isn't sure what she's looking for as she glances over each item. Replicas, she realizes is on the signs, written in smaller letters above the main phrase. Replicas of ancient relics.
A hand lands on her shoulder and Rita turns her head to glare at the offending limb - and person. A raven-haired man gives her a supposedly charming smile, but there's a gleam in his eyes that tell her he's a hunter.
In the light, his hair gives off a blue tinge.
"What can I help you with today, fräulein?"
His accent is strong, Rita discovers. German, with a flamboyant lilt.
"I-I'm fine, thanks," she brushes him off, shrinking away from his hand. Human contact isn't her forte, after all, but there really is something predatory about him. She's sure of it.
... "friendship does not last an eternity-"
He flicks a lock of hair back, but it only falls down to frame his face again. "Well, perhaps something must have caught your eye, ja?"
"No, I was just looking around," she turns and freezes when something catches her eye. His eyes follow her gaze and he smiles.
"Ah, are you interested in this?" He taps the brooch pinned to the lapel of his jacket. "I have quite a few in my collection, you know," he chuckles.
Rita can only stare at it - a red gem coiled by metal tendrils. From anyone else's perspective, it's beautiful - elegantly designed. Except she's not anyone else.
It's a simple adornment, but Rita remembers how the the real orb fit in her palm, how the entire system was as long as her forearm and as wide as her hand splayed out.
"Yeager," she mutters before she can stop herself.
The man grins and claps his hands together. "Splendid! Oh, very splendid, ja? You know my name! How exciting!"
he's real?
Real. Just like Estelle, when they first met in highschool; like Judith, when she waltzed into the cafe and sat next to them like they were old friends; like Yuri and Karol, when she knew all of their hazy faces but none of their names.
(Only it's different this time because his name is Yeager and they've never met before, but someone like Estelle was just that girl all those years back in high school.)
Wary at first, Rita learns that this man is not the enemy she dreams about. He has a family in this world - in this life. Two adopted daughters. A wife named Casey.
She's still skeptical, but she wonders if she's starting to believe that Judith and this man are telling the truth when they say reincarnation is a thing.
"Let me give you a little token, meine freundin." He places something in her palm and closes her fingers over it. "You never know when such a thing might be useful, ja?"
The trip home is a blur in Rita's memories, and she finds herself collapsing on her bed as her pillow swallows her groan.
She peeks at the brooch in her hands and considers shoving it in a box under her bed.
Instead, she tucks her hand by her chest, fingers remembering smooth metal and a palm-sized core.
glowing panels have shattered, broken shards don't mend, dead men don't wake up.
x
She keeps the little red gemstone, surrounded by its golden tendrils and fastened to a pin, hidden away in the zipped up pocket of her jacket. It's been months since Yeager gave it to her, and Rita still doesn't know why she hasn't stashed it away somewhere.
It's not like she hates it of course. If anything, it's sort of a new constant in her life. Pushing her forward. Driving her ideas. Feeding her urge to search for something.
someone, somewhere, there's somebody out there.
But what has she been trying to find?
Her final exam for the semester lies in front of her, complete except for one question with its answers at the tips of her fingers. She pulls at her hair and chews on her lip and picks at her already-short fingernails, but the clock on the wall ticks away like there's no tomorrow. The room is filled with other students in worse shape than she is - their frustration is evident, and Rita just wants to get out of this suffocating place.
The skies are clear tonight. Rita remembers that Estelle wants to go stargazing with the others because tonight is supposedly special. Something about stars lining up? Rita doesn't know.
come find me. i'll come look for you.
Her fingers brush over the smooth stone in her pocket. Was there a formula for this question? She wants to get it all over with so she can set the telescope up before Karol gets impatient and ends up breaking it. Again.
Something moves in the corner of her eye - there's a man who walks by the window outside.
What is the equation?
There's a man who walks by the window outside.
How can she fix the telescope if Karol gets his hands on it again? She's the only one who knows how to fix-
She pricks her finger on the needle of the pin.
- how to fix his blast-
There's a man who walks past the window outside.
she broke it.
There's a man-
she let him die.
His eyes are teal-
what was the formula?
His skin is tan-
She needs to solve this. Needs to get out. Answer this last question, grab her stuff, go home. Find him. Find who?
His hair is a dark brown-
ten minutes left.
Rita is barely able to focus. There's someone out there she's barely glimpsed at, but she can't get him out of her head because he's dead, dead, dead-
who's dead?
Her writing is a bunch of just-barely-legible chicken scratch as she solves the problem. She doesn't even bother checking her other answers before she hands it in and practically runs outside.
There was a man who walked by the window outside… but he's nowhere in sight.
There's a dull ache in her chest - from what, she doesn't know, but she's breathless and panting and, for some reason, she feels ready to cry.
She puts her hand in her pocket to feel the brooch-
it's gone. the stone is gone. the metal is gone. the blastia are gone. his blastia is broken.
blastia?
"Excuse me, ah, miss? I think you dropped something-"
The girl freezes in place when a man's voice, deep and timbre, calls through the air. She hears the intake of breath - whether it's from him or her, she can't tell - and, when she turns around slowly, he is staring at the brooch in his hand some meters away.
She takes a step forward-
i couldn't save you.
- and another-
why did you have to go?
- and another -
i love you.
- and she wants to run, she really does-
please.
- but her nerves are a jumbled mess and all she can do is freeze and stare at this twenty-odd (thirty-five?) year-old stranger.
When he looks up, it's as if he sees her for the first time. Looks at her like she's something precious, someone irreplaceable, something miraculous.
Come find me. I'll look for you.
Slowly, tentatively, he walks towards her, and Rita wonders if he can hear how wildly her loud heart is beating with each step he takes. When he offers the brooch to her, she takes the miniature blastia from his hands and carefully, carefully pins it to his jacket, right over his heart.
He takes her hand in his and holds it to his - one hundred percent human - chest.
"I found you," he whispers with a smile and strokes her cheek. "I told you I would find you, Rita."
She laughs weakly and lets the tears fall. "Maybe you found me, Raven." She stands on her toes and whispers as his head dips down to meet her halfway. "Or maybe I found you."
A/N: Inspired by the reincarnation theme in the Shingeki no Kyojin fandom, I thought I'd try a little something here. Toyed with the idea of an immortal!Judith because she knows the full history of what happened between then and now (even I don't know what happened...), but I know it reads more like she just remembers rather than lived through it and that's okay too. I think my writing got pretty abstract near the end there, but oh well.
Fräulein is apparently an outdated term for "miss," which I figured might be a little quirk Yeager would be inclined to use given he remembers his past life and all. Meine freundin is "my friend" in feminine form; google tells me that it could also mean "girlfriend" or something but I don't know crap about German, man, so I'm just going with my silly foreigner's tongue.
Feb 03/15