I'm baaack.
So sorry for vanishing off the face of the earth there. Anxiety/depression is the BEST. I hope I'll be able to get back into rhythm of things soon - sorry if the writing is a bit rough. Not sure how often I'll update, but I'd like to get this story headed to the end soon and have plenty of time to do it. Thanks for your continuous support!
It was a rough night.
As Lilly sat against Daryl's side while he slept, the temperature started to drop. The wind increased. The sky was completely black, absent of any light from the moon or the stars. Darkness enveloped everything, the tiny fire in front of Lilly barely able to fight it off. Lilly could barely see the surrounding trees. The snow that was usually illuminated at night was dim. She felt claustrophobic with her and Daryl wrapped so tightly in the darkness.
The wind grew icier and icier, to the point that it burned her nose and cheeks. Lilly shivered and snuggled closer to Daryl. She lifted his poncho that she was wearing over her nose to protect her face from the cold. As the hours drew on, it continued to get colder. Every time Lilly thought it couldn't get much worse, it somehow did. Next to her, even Daryl shivered a little in his sleep. Lilly knotted her brows worriedly and wrapped her arms around his, trying to give him what body heat she could.
It got to the point that the wind was moaning softly as it brushed through the trees. Lilly shuddered at the sound. The small flames flinched weakly at the wind. Lilly stared at it nervously. Any stronger, and the fire would never survive.
Come on, she begged it silently. The orange flame bent over as the wind crushed it. Please don't go out.
With a puff of wind, the fire was gone. Lilly was drowned in darkness as she stared at the bleak spot where the fire had once been. With a sigh, Lilly pulled her face from the horse blanket and left Daryl's side. Carefully reaching in his pocket, she found the lighter. Lilly crawled out of the lean-to and knelt down by the empty fire pit, holding the lighter in her frozen hands and trying to spark it to life. A small drop of flame would appear briefly, but the wind would quickly blow it out. Lilly bit her frozen lips and repeatedly tried to get the fire back, but to no avail. She felt like she'd spent hours flicking the lighter on over and over, though it was only twenty minutes.
"Fire go out?"
Lilly jumped at the sound of Daryl's voice, hoarse from exhaustion. He had settled down at her side. Lilly didn't need to answer, Daryl's hands already prying the lighter from her fingers and trying to light it himself. Lilly watched anxiously, hopeful that Daryl would be more capable than her, but he didn't have any luck either. Heart sinking, Lilly sat back dejectedly and hugged herself, trying to stay warm.
Daryl sat back too with a sigh. "Looks like no fire tonight." He turned and ducked back into the lean-to, Lilly following.
As they settled back in their spots, Lilly spoke. "At least it isn't snowing."
Right as she finished saying that, she felt something cold land on her nose. Apparently Daryl felt something too because he snorted in half-hearted amusement. "You jinxed us."
As more snowflakes brushed over her skin, Lilly shut her eyes in awful disbelief. "This is not happening." She shivered more, unable to control the spasms of her muscles trying to keep warm.
Daryl shifted next to her. "It's my turn to watch. You go to sleep."
Lilly leaned her head on his shoulder, her teeth chattering. She couldn't relax, her body tense as she fought to retain what warmth she had. Daryl wasn't sure what he could do to help - neither of them had much body heat. They were both living icicles, and the wind wasn't helping. After a moment of hesitation, his arm went over her head and around her shoulders. Lilly accepted the movement immediately, snuggling into him. It didn't do much, but at least there was something shielding her a little from the wind and their closeness provided a little more warmth.
Breathing in the smell of his leather jacket, Lilly let her head rest in the crook of Daryl's neck and drifted off. Daryl held her close as worries chased through his head. That snow was going to make it much harder - if not impossible - to follow the group's tracks. More worrisome to him was the fact that him and Lilly were stuck outside with very little to stay warm. They needed to find better shelter soon. Without it, they were both going to literally freeze to death.
He felt Lilly tremble against him and held her a little tighter, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. She was freezing. If they didn't find something to help them soon, he wasn't sure how much longer she was going to last.
The hours went by, each gust of wind growing more and more painful to endure. Daryl couldn't stop the violent shivering that spasmed in his muscles, and Lilly was trembling similarly against him. Their body heat was barely existent, their clothes and skin icy. Daryl leaned his head back against the tree trunk as he swallowed back a wave of despair. This night was never going to end. It felt as if they'd be plunged in darkness and cold forever.
The sky somehow managed to grow darker, and if it hadn't been for the white snow around them, Daryl would have felt blind. His thoughts were beginning to race as the worries built up with no sign of solutions. It was just too cold. Frigid snowflakes landed on his skin mockingly. He knew with sick feeling that by the time day came, the group's tracks would be all but vanished. With the way the weather was going, he wouldn't be surprised if a full on blizzard started eventually. And that would scare away the animals. They were in the middle of the forest with no group, no food, and no warmth. In conclusion, all courses were steering Daryl and Lilly towards certain doom.
Eventually, Lilly's shivering transitioned into twitching. Daryl frowned down at the small body pressed against him, barely making out the flicker of her eyelids as she stirred in her sleep. A sad whimper slipped from Lilly's lips and she jerked a little. Night terror, Daryl realized grimly.
Squeezing her shoulders with the arm draped around her, he gave her a small shake. "Just a dream, Lil, you're fine."
Lilly let out another cry and buried her face into his chest. With a sigh, Daryl gave her another shake and leaned down to talk into her hair. "You're safe, now, I'm right here."
His low, gravelly voice seemed to do the trick as Lilly slowly shuddered awake. "Daryl," she mumbled.
"Just a dream, go back to sleep," Daryl consoled softly.
Lilly exhaled loudly and somehow managed to snuggle even closer to him. "It's so cold." Her voice was as fragile as glass.
"I know. We'll figure it out in the morning." Daryl let his hand rub up and down her arm as he tried to coax her back to sleep. Lilly's eyes drooped and she slowly descended into an uncomfortable slumber. Her hands were now clutching at the edge of his jacket as she shivered uncontrollably.
Hours continued to go by at a snail-like pace. Each becoming more and more miserable, even when Daryl thought it couldn't get worse. As he'd feared, a blizzard was starting to roar in, and the temperature plunged at a frightening rate.
Daryl blinked at the darkness with a sick feeling. His teeth chattered tirelessly and he could faintly hear Lilly's doing the same. His body ached with the cold, and he suddenly realized how stiff he was. If he tried to release his grip on Lilly now, Daryl wasn't sure he'd be able to. The two of them could have been statues if it wasn't for their incessant shivering. Heart sinking, Daryl was quickly recognizing that the situation was more severe than he'd wanted to believe. This night could kill them.
Some sacrifices would have to be made.
Daryl was a little more adjusted to the elements than Lilly. He was used to being outdoors in tough scenarios. As thin and weak as she was, Lilly was far more vulnerable than him, he decided. Which meant she needed more help.
It was a hard judgment to make, but Daryl knew what he needed to do to increase their chances of survival - even if it was a just a little bit. At this point, the hunter was willing to do whatever was needed to make sure that if someone was going to die, it wouldn't be Lilly.
…..
"Lilly, don't go back to sleep."
Lilly was thrown into a tree, Orren coming in front of her and pinning her wrists above her head. She struggled and yelped as his hand roved over her body. Over Orren's shoulder, she could see Daryl standing up, stumbling towards them, hissing and groaning with senseless hunger. A walker.
"It's just a dream," Lilly whispered to herself.
"Shut up," Orren ordered her absently, keeping her wrists pinned while his other hand slowly found the hem of her shirt.
"I'm gonna wake up now."
"Open your eyes. C'mon, Lil, I know you can hear me!"
Lilly bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ignore the fact that Orren's fingers were tracing up the skin on her waist. The snarls and hisses of the walker that had once been Daryl continued to draw nearer. "C'mon, Lilly, wake up." Why wasn't she waking up?
"There's nothing to wake up to," Orren chuckled quietly as he brought his mouth to her jaw.
"Stay with me, Lilly!"
Lilly squirmed, jerking her face away. "Daryl!" she found herself shouting. She knew this was a dream, she knew that she should be awake. Something was wrong. "Daryl!"
Walker-Daryl's mouth hung open limply as his glazed eyes focused in on her. There was no spark of recognition, no sign that her Daryl was present in the cold corpse. Just an undead creature in search of food.
"Daryl's gone, sweetie," Orren cooed in Lilly's ear. "Just you and me." His mouth came crashing into hers and Lilly jerked her head back with a scream.
"Please, Lilly!"
Something was very off. She definitely should have been woken up by now. Daryl - the real Daryl - would have shaken her out of this nightmare already. Was she not screaming enough? Why was she still stuck in this horrific world of the subconscious?
A new fury surged in Lilly and she snarled, raising her feet to kick Orren hard between the legs. He let out a shout of pain and released her, giving her the time she needed to attack him again. With a shriek, she launched herself at him and managed to shove him a few steps backwards. Orren stumbled with bared teeth, his cold eyes fixated on her. His entire being tensed in preparation to unleash hell on Lilly, but it went just as she planned.
Orren had forgotten the newly turned walker just inches behind him.
Before he had time to realize his mistake, Daryl's reanimated corpse had sunk his teeth into the base of Orren's neck. Lilly simply watched as Orren let out a piercing wail of pain, blood spraying from severed arteries and staining the snow in front of her. There wasn't much Orren could do to fight back as the walker ripped a out a chunk of his throat. They both sunk to the snowy ground. As his life flowed from the gaping hole in his neck, Orren's screams quickly grew faint and what attempts he did make to escape were feeble. The walker swallowed the chunk of flesh in its mouth and promptly descended to take another bite out of Orren's jugular.
Lilly watched on numbly, clenching her fits and gritting her teeth as she waited. Time to wake up. Please wake up.
Nothing was happening. The walker was mindlessly chewing away at Orren's dying body, blood was spraying, Lilly was free, and there was no indication that this dream was going to end. Maybe I'm not screaming, Lilly surmised. Daryl must have not woken me up because I haven't been screaming.
Taking in a breath of air, she opened her mouth and allowed the shrill sound to blast from her lungs. "Daryl!" she shouted at the air. "Wake me up! Daryl!" In any other situation, she would have felt insane, but this was the dream world - where nothing and everything made sense.
"Please, Daryl!" Lilly continued to scream. Nearby, the walker had practically severed Orren's head from his body as it devoured what was left of his throat. By the time it looked up with Daryl's lifeless blue eyes, Orren's head was only attached by the spinal cord and a few stringy ligaments of flesh.
Lilly eyed the walker nervously as it stumbled to its feet, its hungry gaze now fixed on her. "Daryl!" she continued to yell, but the sound was growing more withdrawn. What if she never woke up? What if she was trapped in this coma-like state forever, surrounded by bloodstained snow?
The walker stumbled towards her. Lilly stood still, hating how she was forced to watch what was once Daryl move jerkily, blood dribbling down his chin and bits of flesh hanging from his blue lips. She searched its dull eyes pleadingly. "Please wake me up. Please, Daryl."
With a small whimper, Lilly moved to step away from her undead friend.
Her foot didn't budge.
Pounding heart skipping a beat, Lilly tried to move again and found that she couldn't. It was as if her feet had been cemented to the ground. Struggling to do something - anything, Lilly let out a an exasperated cry as she stood helplessly like fish bait. This is why she needed to wake up. She didn't know how much longer she could bare this nightmare world.
Walker-Daryl was a mere foot or two away now, his cold hands reaching for Lilly. She looked up at his face with wide eyes, unable to tear her gaze away from the awful sight. "Daryl," she pleaded softly. She wasn't sure what Daryl she was talking to - the one in the real world, this walker version, maybe even the one that she prayed resided somewhere in this reanimated corpse. "I've gotta wake up. You have to let me wake up now."
Daryl's undead corpse finally wrapped its fingers around Lilly's arms. Lilly shoved at his chest, trying to keep him back, but even this dead version of Daryl was too strong. With a snarl, his gaping mouth made a beeline for Lilly's neck - just as it had with Orren's. Lilly shouted in alarm and continued to try and bat him off of her, pounding at his face and chest for all she was worth. It was to no avail. Daryl's teeth ripped into Lilly's neck and she let out a shriek. She was tackled onto her back and could do nothing but scream and watch as her own blood sprayed into her vision. The sickly slurpy sound of her flesh being dismantled surrounded her. Daryl's body was crouched over hers as it fed, oblivious to Lilly's cries.
It was one thing to be eaten alive. The concept in and of itself was harrowing enough. But to be eaten by a thing that had once been your best friend? A friend who had done everything in their power to keep you safe? It was positively hideous.
Lilly felt her vocal chords rip as Daryl's teeth dug into her throat. Her screams were cut off and the only sound she could make was a gurgle as she choked on her blood. The sounds of the walker feeding on her began to grow muffled. Her eyesight grew hazy. She stared up at the cloudy sky above her, blinking slowly, suddenly wondering if she was wrong - if this wasn't a dream after all.
Or if it was, what if she was dying for real?
Black started to cloud her vision and Lilly's thoughts recentered on the thing she'd been trying to do this whole time. I have to wake up.
Whatever was happening in the real world, Daryl wasn't there to help her. She had to regain consciousness and find out what was wrong. It took tremendous effort to fight back the black spots trying to blind her, to keep her eyes open. She could feel herself sinking. All sound was gone, replaced by a high pitched buzzing. The walker was no longer crouched over her either. She was alone, surrounded by nothing but red snow.
For a moment, the blackness washed over Lilly and it was all she could do to not succumb to its embrace.
Daryl.
That name was the only thing that stopped her from surrendering. Lilly managed to see the sky again for a brief moment before the blackness reemerged with a vengeance, dragging her under.
For a moment, Lilly thought it had succeeded.
Daryl.
That was when she surfaced.
Daryl.
With all the mental strength she had, Lilly forced her way out of the depths of unconsciousness and pulled her eyelids open. She almost expected them to creak like a rusty door as they were forced to unseal. Lilly sluggishly scanned her surroundings, feeling like she was trying to peer through mud. Each detail had to be taken in and examined slowly.
The snow was white.
Snowflakes dusted the air thickly.
There was wind.
The lean-to was partly knocked over.
She wasn't shivering anymore.
Come to think of it, she could barely feel a thing.
Daryl's jacket laid at her feet, as if the wind had tried to steal it.
Daryl was on his side next to it.
Daryl wasn't moving.
"Daryl." The name barely made it out of Lilly's mouth, nothing but a small breath of air through cracked lips. She wanted to launch herself at him, but could barely move her fingers. How long had they been out? It felt like someone had encased her in an ice sculpture.
The image of Daryl crumpled in the snow was enough to motivate her to break out of the frigid cocoon. With great effort, Lilly forced her stiff body to uncurl itself from its place in the ruined lean-to and started to crawl towards him. Each movement was sloth-like and slightly muddled, but Lilly could feel herself growing more mobile as she got the blood running through her veins again.
Her numb hand fell on Daryl's shoulder and she slowly managed to turn him onto his back. His eyes were closed, his lips pale. Lilly's heart stopped as she realized he might be dead.
Knowing her fingers were too numb to feel for a pulse, Lilly lowered her head onto Daryl's chest and listened with frightening stillness. Relief tingled through her nerves as she heard the beautiful rhythm of his heart beating. He was still alive… For now.
Sitting back up, Lilly let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. Snowflakes bit at her skin. Her eyes followed them as they fell onto Daryl's face, lightly dusting his brows and eyelashes. Lilly brushed them off carefully with one hand and lightly tapped the side of his face with the other.
"Daryl, wake up."
Of course, he didn't respond remotely to her tentative, feather-like touch. Swallowing, Lilly's tapping turned into something close to smacking. "Wake up!"
When he remained motionless, Lilly's hands moved to grasp the front of his vest and her stiff fingers fisted around the material. She shook him as hard as she dared. "Daryl! Daryl!"
His head jostled a little at the motion like one of those CPR training manikins. The sight made Lilly's chest tighten. This was just wrong. Daryl should never be in this state - about to fall off the deep end without the chance to fight back. She didn't think it was possible for the hunter to be in such a helpless, vulnerable predicament. It wasn't right.
With a frustrated yell, Lilly hit Daryl's chest with fisted hands. She didn't care if it gave him bruises, as long as he was alive. Face contorted into an angry growl of sorts, Lilly hit him again. And again. "Daryl!" With each word, her fists came down on his chest. "Wake. Up. You. Stupid. Hick!"
As she raised her arms to hit him yet again, a low moan stopped her.
For a moment, she thought she'd imagined it, but another moan sounded and Daryl's eyelids began to twitch. Heart skipping excitedly, Lilly leaned down towards him and started tapping at his face with her fingers like she had before. "Daryl? Daryl, can you hear me?"
An indecipherable grumble that was probably supposed to be an answer made its way through Daryl's frozen lips. His eyes slowly opened, their gaze foggy and disoriented. Lilly unconsciously stroked the side of Daryl's face with her thumb as she brought her face close to peer at him. "That's it, come on back," she encouraged softly.
Daryl's blue eyes finally locked on hers, taking her pale face in through snowflake frosted lashes. "Lil…" he managed to mumble slowly.
"Just stay awake, okay?" Lilly told him firmly. They'd had a close call, and they were nowhere near out of the woods yet.
"Where…?" Daryl squinted, his senses taking their sweet time to return to him.
Lilly ran a hand through her snow encrusted hair as she sat up a little. "Still stuck in the forest, I think we're in a bit of a blizzard right now -" she stopped as she noticed his bare arms. For the first time, the strangeness of it clicked. "Why aren't you wearing your jacket?"
Daryl blinked slowly, and for a moment Lilly was worried that he was going back under. But after a moment, he managed to respond, "Had to... Keep you warm... "
The answer sent a mixture of affection and frustration through Lilly. She chose to focus on the latter, sighing in exasperation. "Daryl, you can't just - you - you need it!" Without giving him time to defend himself, Lilly's eyes quickly landed on the jacket that had been at her feet and snatched it up. "Put it back on, you… you…" she didn't have an adequate name to throw at him and left the sentence unfinished, growling quietly to herself.
Seeing that it was taking awhile for Daryl to find the ability to move, Lilly wrapped an arm around him and heaved him to an upright position. The hunter leaned heavily on her, groaning as his stiff body was forced from its frozen position. With a lot of effort from both of them, Lilly managed to get his arms through the sleeves and pull the leather jacket over his shoulders.
The moment she'd finished zipping it up to his neck, Daryl's head drooped onto her shoulder. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Lilly tried to bring his head back up. "No going back to sleep now. Do you hear me?"
Her hands cupped his face tightly as she peered into his eyes to see if he was lucid enough to understand. Daryl managed to raise a hand up to grasp one of hers and squeeze weakly, his skin icy on hers. Lilly's own frigid hand curled around to grasp it. She eyed how red and puffy their fingers were and let out a low breath.
"Hypothermia," she muttered to herself. Great. "We've got hypothermia."