For once there was no rain. The air had felt dry and cold, and the wind had felt rough and harsh on Castiel's skin. He hadn't been very motivated to go to therapy in the first place, but the weather sure was not helping. Castiel was glad that it was Friday. He was in need of some rest. When he'd arrived it sure felt strange to sit in the waiting room. It felt even stranger to greet Zachariah Adler.

Zachariah had seemed to be in a good mood when the teen entered his office. His suit was neat and shiny like always and his cold detached eyes curious. They had both sat down, Adler behind his desk and Cas on the chair. Castiel felt quite uncomfortable but did not dare address this feeling. Instead he smiled.

Zachariah opened his laptop, his hands floating on the keyboard. 'Welcome back mister Novak. I'm very pleased to have you here again.' He returned the smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. 'How are you doing Castiel?'

'I'm doing quite well. How have you been?' He spoke in a calm and collective way. His question was not meant to be answered. Mister Adler had never told him anything about himself, not even his age. Let alone how he'd been doing.

Adler seemed surprised by the question. 'Oh I've been doing fine.' They both allowed silence to eat up the room. Castiel couldn't help but wonder who had wiped Zachariah's memories and why. He suspected it to be the angels. But Cas had better things to worry about. Like what he was going to tell his therapist.

'So much has happened since our last conversation.' Fingers started moving as the keyboard made the familiar ticking noise. Adler kept quiet, waiting for more. 'Good things happened too, don't get me wrong. But I discovered things that have changed my perspective on things.' Castiel tried to keep his voice controlled. Adler finally spoke: 'do you want to start with the good or the bad?'

It felt kinda nice to know that his therapist had to keep his secrets. It felt nice to know that he wouldn't be judged. But he also knew that he would be declared mad if he told the real truth. He would have to step carefully. 'Let's start with the bad.'

Wings flutter

'I remember feeling so afraid about who am I. I remember denying myself everything because I kept thinking about my dad. But now I just don't care anymore, I like Dean. I really like him. And he likes me, so I don't see the point in trying to fight those feelings.' Cas had been gushing for over 30 minutes by now. His voice was hurting from all the talking.

His therapist nodded, 'you're learning how to accept. That's very good. I advise you to be careful though. First heartbreak can be very rough. I want you to call me if something is wrong.'

A breakup? That wasn't even on the table right now. Instead of mentioning it Cas continued to tell the rest. Zachariah seemed pretty impressed with his progress.

A subject that had bothered Cas for a while suddenly came to him. 'One of my friends ran away from home. Her name is Meg. I'm worried that she'll get hurt.' Zachariah was quiet for a second longer than usual. 'Meg Masters?' He asked. Cas looked up from his feet, feeling his stomach twist. 'You know her?' He asked carefully, afraid of how much his therapist knew. 'Yeah, a few years ago she attended a few group sessions. I'm sorry to hear this. I hope she'll return home safely.'

Castiel sincerely doubted it. Meg might not even be alive anymore. She could be dead and he would never know. How could he contact her? How could he warn her? 'Castiel, if you do run into her, you will call the police right?' Zachariah always looked the same, Cas had suspected for a bit that his therapist did not feel anything at all. But the look in his eyes clearly told him what he needed to know. His therapist was suspicious of him.

'Of course I'll call the police. Why wouldn't I?' Once Cas spoke those words he realised he was lying through his teeth. If by any chance he did see Meg, he would not hesitate to help her. Why he felt so much sympathy for the demon he would probably never know. But he did know that his new hunter friends would disagree.

'Alright, I'm just making sure. How about your mental health, have you seen anything as of lately? How are you reacting to your meds?'

Castiel wanted to be honest in that moment. He wanted to tell about the angels about the Second Coming and about the saints. He wanted to tell his therapist about the dangers, the hunters and the monsters that roamed the world.

'I'm alright. I feel stable. Sometimes I will have a sudden mood swing, it can be quite troubling. I haven't been seeing anything as of lately. Sometimes I think… I can hear wings, but I know it's just the birds outside or my imagination. I've been very focused on school.'

Zachariah nodded, 'that sounds good. I suggest we take the next step in your healing progress. What you told me about your mother, the fact that you resent her for killing herself… I know that you feel angry right now. But I want to higher your dose gradually over the next month to see how your mood swings react.'

Castiel didn't agree, but really did he have a choice? Adler had always been his only therapist, and this was simply how he worked. 'I should warn you, you might feel a bit sick at first. If you pick them up today than we will have our next talk next Friday. Sound good?'

Cas took the piece of paper. But when he tried to pull it out of his therapist's hand Adler's grip tightened. 'And maybe, you should try to connect with what is left of your family. Maybe they can tell you why your mother was the way she was.'

He wanted to protest but felt a rush of nothing all of the sudden. And within seconds he didn't feel anything anymore. It was happening again. No more worries, no more pain. 'Sounds fine to me.' Adler didn't notice a thing.

Wings flutter

It was Saturday afternoon and Dean and Cas had just ended their shift at Bobby's. Dean had jokingly put on Castiel's glasses and was squinting so hard it gave Cas this warm fuzzy feeling. 'Cas are you blind?!' Cas could feel his eyebrows rise, 'No not blind. But if you keep going I might have to take my glasses back by using force.'

Dean grinned as he sat himself down in the Impala. 'I surrender,' he handed Cas his glasses, 'they make you look hotter anyway.' Castiel felt an impulse take over. He grabbed the collar of Dean's jacket and pulled him into a kiss without much warning. This was different than their other kisses. Their lips clashed and it was fast and needy. Dean gasped when Cas' teeth scraped his lip. His thoughts all wiped away, his aura colouring a deep red.

'You trying to kill me?' Dean asked, his voice unsteady. Cas ignored the question in favour of kissing him again. His hands in Dean's hair, 'go on a date with me.' He pulled a bit too rough on Dean's hair. Cas was surprised by his own boldness. Dean nodded, too occupied to answer. Suddenly a weird tune ruined the moment before the kiss could deepen. Dean groaned as he pulled away.

'Dammit, that's my phone.' Cas pulled away, his heart was beating in an unhealthy quick pace, his body still shimmered. 'God it's Sammy I knew it.' Dean sighed as he picked up the phone. 'What do you want cock block?' Dean put the phone on speaker. Cas could hear Sam laugh. His voice was going through puberty, making his voice sound weird at times. 'Oh please, trust me this is important.'

Cas leaned towards the phone. 'Hey Sam. What's going on?'

'Hey Cas, well I finally translated the text that the angel guy gave us. Balthazar?' Dean and Cas gave each other a quick look. Dean's thoughts were all over the place. He was impressed with his brother. His red aura was slowly fading away to make place for the regular colours. 'So what did Cas say when he was spacing out?'

'Well he was speaking Enochian. He said that to break it, you have to lose faith. Does that ring a bell?' Cas gave it some thought before slowly shaking his head to Dean. 'Doesn't ring a bell.' Cas admitted. Sam let out a sigh, 'well it's something at least. I'll be studying at a friend's place. See you guys at dinner.' Sam hung up.

Dean turned to Cas. 'So you wanted to take me out?' Cas nodded, 'not sure where to yet, but we'll figure something out.' Cas wanted to grab his phone from his pocket but noticed something was missing.

'Dean I think I've lost my wallet.' Dean turned to look at the floor. 'Oh shit, when was the last time you saw it?' Cas felt a slight panic rush through him. 'I can't remember.' The next five minutes the searched the whole car and checked all of Castiel's pockets four times. Dean looked at the store. 'Maybe you dropped it in the store while we were working?' Cas quickly shook his head. 'I wouldn't be so careless.'

Dean shrugged and stepped out of the Impala. 'Only one way to find out. Come on.'

Wings flutter

Cas knew that when Dean and Cas weren't working, Bobby was running the store and the garage, with the assistance of Karen of course. But because customers were rare you could usually find Bobby at his house, helping out hunters.

Cas and Dean entered the store, expecting Karen to be floating around. Cas got startled when a monotone boyish voice spoke: 'Welcome to Singer's Salvage Yard. How can I help you today?' The guy looked like he was thirty and very moody. His name tag said Steve and Castiel immediately started freaking out. 'What the hell?!'

'Hey man, Cas dropped his wallet during his shift. Have you seen it by any chance?' Dean asked the guy, he didn't seem weirded out at all. They both gave Castiel's startled expression an amused look. Cas felt frozen in time as he saw the casual conversation between Dean and Steve taking place. The guy nodded, 'oh yeah, I put it in the back.'

Cas tried to protest but Dean was already walking towards the break room. 'Dean wait-' Cas tried to keep his tone quiet, but his confusion was clear. Dean grabbed the wallet from the table and gave it to him. His aura was not any different, he seemed completely relaxed. Cas turned to look at the closed door. 'Dean who is that guy? What the hell is he doing here?'

Dean smiled, 'yeah sometimes I wish I didn't know him either.' Dean was obviously missing the point. Cas took a hold of Dean's sleeve, his expression dead serious. 'Dean I don't remember this guy working here. He is wearing my name tag. We're Bobby's only employees!' He tried to keep his voice down, but it was a struggle. Dean's face went from calm to surprised. 'Don't you remember?'

Castiel felt like everyone was pulling a joke on him. 'No I don't! Where is Karen? She didn't mention taking on any new employees-' Dean's thoughts made him stop.

'What do you mean Karen is dead?' Dean quickly tried to shut him up.

He didn't seem amused and quickly replied: 'Cas lower your voice. Yes Karen is dead. Stop acting so strange!' Castiel felt the heat rise up in his chest, aching to flood out. He tried to keep his emotional reaction in check. Dean's thought were all over the place. Confusion, anger, worry and most of all he was upset. His eyes big, green eyes not as bright as usual. 'Cas stop it. Karen has been dead for years. She's no ghost. Why are you being so-' Dean cut himself off, but his sentence got finished in his mind. And Cas turned away. 'Weird Dean? You think I'm being weird?'

'I remember Bobby introducing me to Karen. I remember how she hurt you and Jo when we wanted to take the Crown. Please do explain to me how else-' Cas could feel his stomach turn. Dean's angry thoughts faded away, 'Cas are you alright?' He doubled over, dizziness took over. Dean's cold hand was on his face. 'You're burning up. I'm taking you home.'

Cas could hardly remember how he got in the car, or how he eventually ended up in bed.

Wings flutter

It was Saturday. Turned out that Cas had a slight fever. It was the first one in what felt like years. Dean and insisted on keeping him company. They didn't talk about Karen. Probably because Cas felt a bit stupid for losing his shit. Of course Karen had been dead. She'd been dead for years. He'd never met her himself, but he knew how much Bobby had cared for her. His fever had confused him into thinking things that were not true. It was the only explanation.

Dean could be quite the mother figure when he wanted to be. He scolded Cas for leaving the bed and made him soup. Instead of kissing him on the mouth he kissed his head. It felt like such a strangely intimate gesture. One Dean made without thinking or blinking. He seemed at peace in his mind, or at least that's what he wanted Cas to believe. Sam spend a large portion of the day at the apartment too. He sat in the corner and was making homework, when he was done he said he was going to meet up with Jess. Dean jokingly told him to wear protection.

'You mean a knife right?' Sam said. Dean simply grinned, 'a knife, sure.' Sam's face was priceless as he left and wished Cas a speedy recovery. Cas nodded, if only. Cas returned towards the bed. He lay down with a huff.

He had wondered several times if he should just stop this ridiculous quest to save the world. He knew that it was his job, he knew it was his responsibility. But knowing that his mother had just chickened out made him feel lost. They had three pieces now. The one from the garden that they had taken back at Bobby's, the one in his mother's necklace and of course the one inside him.

'I'm sorry I couldn't save her. But I could save you. One of the parts had placed itself in you. It recognized you as the true owner. That's why everyone wants you dead.' He remembered Balthazar's words. He'd never noticed something foreign inside of him. But now he suddenly wondered if the grace inside of him could have a strange effect.

They couldn't stop now. They were still missing the Crown of Righteousness and the Crown of Exultation. And Cas had honestly no idea where to find them. 'Heya Cas, what are you thinking about?' Dean entered the room with a hot cup of tea. He put it down on Cas' nightstand.

Cas grunted in the pillow. 'Just thinking.' Dean sat himself down at the edge of the bed. 'If you tell me I will make you burgers when you feel better.' Cas chuckled. 'That's low Winchester.' He turned to look at the young hunter. The freckles on his face were fading away because of the lack of sunlight

'I was thinking about what Balthazar said. I wonder what the angels are planning, the same goes for the demons really. We're like pieces of chess, we need to get ahead of these creatures.' Dean nodded in agreement, still giving him a curious look. 'I agree, but shouldn't you be resting?'

Cas looked over at Dean, no aura, no thoughts to be heard either. Just normal ordinary Dean. Should he suggest his plan to Dean? It was like a mantra in his head. Let's find their weakness and kill them. His mind suggested. It was a cold, unfeeling solution. And Cas didn't understand why.

Dean carefully took hold of Castiel's hand. 'We'll figure it out.' Cas noticed the lack of reaction at Dean's touch. He smiled, not because he felt like it. But because he knew that was how he was supposed to react. 'Like we always do.' He replied.

Wings flutter

Castiel woke up because of a blinding light. One moment he felt terribly ill and the next moment he sat up alarmed. The glow seemed to come from his body. He was ready to call for help when the glow disappeared just as quickly as it had arrived. His mind wasn't foggy anymore, he didn't feel sick either. He felt… normal. Better than normal even, he felt good.

With a clear head he jumped out of bed and towards the couch where Dean was reading. 'Dean!' The young hunter looked up, his green eyes curious. He quickly threw his book aside. 'What's wrong? Why are you out of bed?' His trigger-happy fingers moved towards his gun. Castiel quickly stopped him. He was surprised to see, or actually not see any aura.

'Dean the fever is gone. There was a glow and I-' Dean blinked, 'you what?' Castiel opened his hand, convinced he could make it glow again. But it didn't work. Dean nodded, 'alright why don't you just sit down and let me take your temperature?' Cas sat himself down, surprised by his own lack of protest. Dean was about to take his temperature when the doorbell rang. Dean muttered something about terrible timing and went to open the door, followed on the foot by Cas.

Daphne smiled when Dean opened the door. 'Hey Dean,' she looked at Cas, 'hello Cas.' She was dressed in a fluffy sweater and behind her stood two people. A girl from her age with brown hair and an awkward smile. And a guy with a cheeky smile with a glint of mischief in his eyes. 'My cousin came to visit. I told you I would introduce you right?' Cas quickly straightened out his shirt. 'Oh right, yes I forgot. It's nice to meet you I'm Castiel and this is my boyfriend, Dean.' The girl nodded, 'I'm Hannah Johnson and this is my friend Gabriel. We're in town to visit Daphne. It's a pleasure to meet you.'

Gabriel gave Cas a look over. Then he turned to Dean. 'So you're his boyfriend huh?' He was trying to conceal a smile but wasn't very successful. Cas wondered what was so funny. Dean nodded he gave the guy a warning look. 'Yes?' Gabriel held up his hands in peace. 'Oh just surprised that's all. I just remembered that someone owes me money.' Hannah gave him a stern look. 'I'm not giving you any more money Gabe.'

Daphne quickly interrupted them. 'So how do you feel about having a bite with us? Nothing to fancy. It's just that I promised them I would introduce them to some of my… friends.' She said the word friends like it was foreign to her. Cas didn't know much about his neighbour if he was being honest. He knew she was in college and he knew she attended church. Dean gave Cas a look over. 'I'm not sure, Cas had a fever and I'm not sure if he's feeling good again.'

Daphne nodded, she seemed slightly disappointed. 'I understand. In that case, it's better to take it easy.' She gave Cas a smile. 'Trust me you need to take your time to get better. We'll see you around.'

Hannah seemed eager to leave. Daphne and Hannah left down the hallway. Gabriel, however, stood still and gave both Dean and Castiel a meaningful look. 'I just wanted to say… you two being a couple is sweet. Too sweet, even for me.' He waved and was ready to leave, but Dean stopped him. 'Do I know you?'

Gabriel winked. 'I've never been much of a player. I prefer watching things unfold. So good luck! You'll need it!' He turned around to follow Daphne and Hannah. Leaving a confused Dean and Castiel behind.

Wings flutter

Sunday used to mean going to church. It used to mean identity crisis as his father preached about how homosexuals would burn in hell. It used to mean sadness. Now it meant a Dungeons and Dragons night. This time it was at Ash' place. He was the type of guy who was friends with everyone. Including Charlie. So it shouldn't be strange that Cas was sitting on the couch of the guy. But in reality, he had been here before.

When he got himself addicted it started out harmless in this exact same room. Ash was friends with a group of stoners and used weed on a regular basis. He and Cas had been forced to do their project together back when he'd just started Highschool. So every time he was here they'd been smoking. The room still smelled a bit like weed.

It was of course not Ash' fault. How could he have known that Castiel had depression? How could he have known that he was being bullied and that he harmed himself? Getting in touch with the wrong people had happened fast enough after that. He went from weed to stuff that was not twice but thrice as hard and a lot more dangerous.

His addiction had been pushed out of him once he was put away at the mental hospital. Cas liked to think that his short adventure as a junkie had come to an end a long time ago. But as he saw his friends talk and laugh he couldn't help but rub his palms together. Thinking about how the needle had felt in his arm, thinking about how peaceful he'd felt. Relieved and free.

'Dude you still with us?' Ash asked him, the guy wasn't smoking. Wasn't even aware of Cas' odd flashbacks. He probably didn't even remember. Cas smiled, the doorbell rang. 'I'll go. I need to use the toilet anyway.' He spoke a bit louder, so his friends would know where he was heading off too. He quickly made his way towards the door, towards the smell of fresh air.

He was surprised, to say the least, to find Lisa at the door. She gave him an awkward smile. 'Hello Castiel. Or is it Cas?' Cas was more than surprised to see her. 'Cas will be fine, I can't believe you came.' Lisa laughed, 'that's what Dean said too.' Castiel shouldn't be surprised that Dean forgot to mention that he'd talked with Lisa.

'Well come in, we're just about to start, you're right on time.' Lisa turned around, 'Benny get out of the car!' With a lot of aversion Benny stepped out of the car. He immediately proclaimed: 'I am NOT playing!' Cas looked at Lisa, 'how did you convince him to come? Dean has been trying for years apparently.' Lisa shrugged, a small smile on her face. 'I have my ways. So what are we playing?'

'I am NOT PLAYING LISA.' Benny shouted as he made his way towards them.

Wings flutter

Charlie let out a dramatic gasp. 'Oh noble heroes, do tell us your names so we can reward you with our greatest treasure!' Kevin opened his mouth to speak. Benny was ahead of him. 'I am Garotir of the lonely mountain. And we refuse to receive your treasure. It was our pleasure to save the village from the water demons!' He swiftly got hit on the head by Kevin. 'Shut up, she asked me.' Benny shut his mouth quickly. Kevin quickly thanked the leader of the village and took the reward. Charlie smiled from behind her cardboard wall.

'Alright, you have found the treasure. Now, will you be able to awaken the prince?' She looked around and whispered: 'We'll figure that out next time.'

Everyone started to protest, except for a pretty confused Lisa and Cas. Garth and Benny were loudest to complain. 'Hush! I have another announcement to make.' She started cleaning up, 'my birthday is coming up in November. And I want to invite y'all to go LARPing with me. My mom will bring us to the event. If we're lucky the weather will be decent.'

Cas turned towards and excited Dean. 'What is LARPing?' Dean leaned closer to block out other noises. 'It's Life Action Role Playing. It's sorta like we're going to be playing this game but then in real life, all dressed up.' Cas nodded, a bit distracted by his boyfriend's eyes. He wondered if November wasn't a bit too cold to be running around the forest.

Then again, he was the one who slept on the side of the road during a rainstorm. Charlie probably knew what she was doing. As they put away the game everyone started talking about watching a film. Cas allowed himself to relax and made himself comfortable on the couch. It had been a while since he'd even thought about how his friends were doing. He turned to Sam.

The teen seemed relaxed and was loudly talking with Garth about a book of sorts. Dean always pulled Sam along to these events, but never explained why. Sam seemed to get along with the others pretty well, but right now his mind seemed to be consumed with thinking. Cas turned away, not feeling up to hearing what Sam was thinking. Instead he turned his attention towards Charlie and Kevin and tried to remember his therapist's advice about initiating conversation.

'Nice weather we're having right?' He muttered. Charlie smiled, probably appreciating the fact that he was trying. 'It sure is! I know you've never LARPed before but trust me, whenever I go out its always good weather.' Kevin tried to hide his laugh by coughing. 'Anyway you will be in need of a costume. Kevin this includes you too. So I would like to have your measurements.' Dean had apparently heard the word measurements because he grinned looked at Charlie and said: 'Cas has double C's,' Jo snorted, 'and how would you know?'

Dean wiggled his eyebrows but was quickly shut up when Sam gave him a look. Cas felt his face heat up, and he quickly protested: 'don't objectify me.' Laughter erupted, and for a good second or so Castiel felt really good. His good mood was quickly turned around by a cold sweat, and a painful stomach. He ran to the toilet and started puking.

HELLO. So here is the new chapter. I'm currently working on chapter 15, but school has also started again so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up.
I hope soon but I won't guarantee. FOR WHOEVER IS STILL READING CONGRATULATIONS. How am I doing guys? REVIEWS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.
Have a nice day-evening everyone and till next time. ;)