So here's the story of how Alexander Lightwood fucked up.
It all began when he received the text from Aline, asking him to join her at Clary and Simon's favorite coffee shop. Apparently, he owed it to her that they met up. It had been a while since they'd really corresponded, but once upon a time they were as close as best friends, so he figured he'd better show.
Usually he'd have no qualms about dropping by to talk to her, but it was Valentine's Day, and he was with Magnus.
"What's wrong? His boyfriend touched his wrist, and he wanted to fall into his embrace so, so badly. Alec was sick and tired of the guilt that wrenched his insides every single day. It was his fault that people were dying. Maybe if he busted Sebastian… but no. He couldn't be wrong. Just a little more time to investigate… see, that's why so many New Yorkers were dead! He needed to get his head out of the clouds, even if that pained him more than he could bear.
"I'm so sorry. I have to go. It'll only be for about an hour, then I'm all yours, I swear. I owe someone a chat." Maybe if Magnus protested, he could take a rain check. Either way, the same guilt that filled him like water in a pail increased twofold.
But he simply raised an eyebrow, expression entirely placid. "Who?"
"It's not important, just a friend that I owe." He shouldn't bog him down with details. It was bad enough that he was ditching him on the one day that you shouldn't ditch your significant other. "I'll be at Java Jones. See you later." The words pushed themselves from his lips, but they didn't ease the weight on his chest. Nevertheless, he put on his brave face. Also known as an obviously strained smile.
"Okay. Be careful. You know what it's like out there." Alec found himself enveloped in Magnus's arms, and he briefly considered staying there forever. Sadly, this was literally impossible. Forever, after all, is a pretty long time. No rest for the weary, as they say. So he pulled back, thinking (illogically) that if he got to Java Jones fast enough, the entire excursion would be significantly shorter as a whole.
"I'm tough. I'll be fine." He brought a fist to about chin-level, and let it drop. This wasn't a very good reassurance, and Magnus knew it too.
"No doubt." He replied, despite the misgivings glowing in his eyes.
Alec couldn't help but think that if he did indeed get attacked, he'd deserve it.
On that note, it was time for coffee.
"You cannot drink that."
He dropped his stir stick in surprise, meeting Aline's accusing gaze with a glare of his own. "What?"
"You forgot the cream. You'd have remembered if you weren't so busy staring into space." She drummed her fingers impatiently.
"I didn't forget. I like it black." He pointedly took a sip, although he wasn't actually sure what point he was trying to prove. That he really did like it? That there was absolutely nothing wrong with altering something that was satisfactory to begin with?
"Whatever, weirdo." They lapsed into silence until she seemed prepared to speak again. "Why don't you keep in touch anymore? It wouldn't hurt just to text me occasionally."
"Sorry. I'm just… busy, y'know?" This, Alec reflected, had to be the worst excuse of all time. Aline's huff of exasperation told him that she was letting him off easy. However, he knew he'd get shit from her later.
"Right. Now, before I tell you anything, you have to know that you're only here because I trust you implicitly."
Alarm bells went off in his brain. "I understand."
"Okay." She fixed him with a long, searching look before continuing. "Remember a few months ago, when Helen and I had that fight? You got her to let me apologize."
"That's not exactly how it happened…" Alec trailed off when it became clear that she wasn't listening.
"I never had the opportunity to thank you for that. So that's what I'm doing right now."
"That's why I'm here?"
"Only partially. Now, there's this thing that I've been realizing in the last few weeks. I suppose it's been a long time coming. I really like Helen. Like, I seriously like her, if you know what I mean."
"Oh." What else was there to say?
"You have a problem with that?"
"No! I mean…" He lowered his voice. "I'd be a hypocrite if I did."
She gasped. "You mean…"
"Me and Magnus, yeah." Alec interrupted, chewing his lip.
"Wow. I mean, I sort of had a feeling, but now that you've confirmed it, it's kind of blindsiding."
"You already had a feeling?"
"Well, loads of people did, but those people didn't care enough to go shouting about it from the rooftops."
"And here I though we were being discreet." Alec rolled his eyes, acting as though this piece of information didn't surprise him.
"You were. But there's this couple-y thing that you do, where you just gravitate towards each other. In the hallways and such." Aline explained.
"Oh." The tiny little word fell from his lips once more.
"So… anyways. I was at this bar…"
"Where'd you get a convincing fake ID? Mine sucks, and I'm looking for a more legit looking one."
"Will you stop interrupting?" She sighed, biting back a small smile.
"My apologies. Continue." He answered with exaggerated impatience.
"Okay. So I was at this bar." After a pause to see if he would cut her off, she continued. "There was this guy there, and he was a serious douchebag. He kept asking me what I was. Evidently, American wasn't a good enough answer."
"Honestly?" Alec couldn't imagine why anyone would have the urge to treat another person that way.
"It stings, but I don't let it bother me much anymore. Some people see me and aren't satisfied until they can mentally label me as an exotic immigrant or something."
"Wow."
"I kept hinting that I wanted him to leave me alone, but he wasn't getting it. Helen had come there with me, and she was in the restroom. When she came out and saw the dude nagging me, she slapped him in the face. The only thing on my mind was that I wanted to kiss her." Aline laughed quietly. "That's that, I guess. This afternoon, I'm asking her out."
"Whoa. That's amazing!" He reached forward and took her hands in his, as though in this way he could show her the true extent of his excitement. "To tell you the truth, I don't doubt that if you take too long, she'll ask you out herself."
Her eyes shone with gratitude. She seemed to need this assurance more than she'd let on. "Thanks. I guess now we come to the reason you're here. Well, actually, I guess it would be the second reason. The first is that you make a good confidant. But I also wanted you to be the last boy I kiss."
"Didn't know you liked me that much." He laughed incredulously.
"Please. You know as well as I do that it'll be completely platonic." Aline rolled her eyes. "I like making things ceremonial, that's all."
"You don't need to remind me. Remember after 8th grade graduation—"
"Shut up." She ordered, then leaned forward. Alec found himself mirroring her movement, and they kissed in a rather stiff fashion.
He heard someone gasp, and turned to see Magnus, standing in front of the entrance. "Are you shitting me?" He breathed, then raised his voice. "Uh, that must have looked bad…" It was clear that his boyfriend wasn't listening.
Alec watched Magnus's expression disintegrate into an ocean of pain and hurt. And he couldn't find a word to say that would justify his actions. Could a simple misunderstanding cause this, or had he done something deeply wrong?
"Fuck, he's leaving. Go on, catch up to him!" Aline hissed, her nails biting into his shoulder.
Right. He jumped out of his seat and raced out the door, hoping to intercept him. However, Magnus's car was already speeding away. "Damn it." Alec returned to their table, clenching and unclenching his fists in distress. "I've got to go."
"I understand. I'm so sorry, it was stupid of me to get you to do that…" Aline ducked her head guiltily.
"You didn't force me to do anything. Neither of us knew he was going to be here, and he's been cheated on before, so he just assumed the worst. Life just sucks sometimes. I'll talk to him. Don't worry. Just ask Helen out, okay?" He forced a tight smile that probably looked more like a grimace. With a deep breath, he relaxed this expression into a soft grin. The mask was on once again.
"Okay. Tell Magnus that I'm sorry. I at least owe him an apology for getting between you guys." She chewed her lip anxiously.
"Will do. I'd better hurry up and leave." He disguised the hollowness in his voice with a facade of breezy nonchalance.
"Thanks. For being a good friend." Her tone revealed that she wasn't buying his bullshit.
With a curt nod, he walked out. Once he was in his car, he pulled out his phone. Now, usually he'd never text and drive, but this was an emergency. He sent a few messages in quick succession, imploring Magnus to let him explain. After the first ten texts, it became clear that he was being ignored.
This was very not good. Alec headed to his boyfriend's house, ringing the doorbell frantically. After several minutes of waiting, the door was answered by Asmodeus.
"I suggest that you vacate the premises. Now." It wasn't a suggestion.
"But I need to talk to him. There was a misunderstanding, and it all happened so fast, and now he's thinks that I…" His hands were trembling now, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Deep breaths. He was absolutely not going to have an attack right now. He swayed on the spot, then straightened with an iron resolve, feeling the ground stop shifting underneath of him.
"Are you alright?" A trickle of concern wormed its way into the man's voice, and he frowned in displeasure, most likely imagining the paperwork he'd have to go through if Alec died of a heart attack on his doorstep.
"I'm sorry. I have panic attacks… and I guess I was freaking out too much. I'm okay now." He managed to keep his words coherent, widening his eyes beseechingly.
"Give my son some space for now." Although this may have seemed harsh, Asmodeus's icy countenance gave way to the tiniest amount of kindness.
Knowing a reprieve when he heard one, Alec nodded and finally stopped digging in his heels. Maintaining composure, he dipped his head politely and backed away.
Only time would tell if this was a mistake.
A/N: I'm back! School's almost out! I didn't fail my finals! All is well! Now I'm using too many exclamation marks! Yeah, you get the idea. I'm listening to War of Hearts right now. MALEC FEELZ INCOMING. I dunno what I plan on doing in the immediate future. There are some fics that I need to update, and I may not have time today. But I can't release another chapter of this until I've gotten the Chronicles of Nico and Will taken care of. Which will happen soon, as I'm in the final process of revision for the next chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know what you think, and… as always… STAY AWESOME ;)