And we're back. =)

At the balcony of her hotel, Tomoe looked out into the night sky. "Yes, I'll be there in time for the principal photography, Wilson-san," she said into the phone. "Don't worry. I'll just tie up some loose ends here in Japan, and then I'll go back there for good… Yes. You heard me right, Wilson-san… See you, then." She clicked off the phone and dropped it on the table near her. Then she walked away from it and leaned against the rails of the balcony.

Tomoe took a deep breath of the city air, detecting a hint of pollution even as high up as she was. Despite the pollution, though, she felt reassured by the feeling of the crisp air, indicating that winter wasn't that far off. She looked down. Traffic was slowly building up in some streets, creating rivers of red and yellow lights. If she looked hard enough, she could see people walking briskly through the sidewalks, each, she supposed, having his or her own business to take care of even at this late hour. Yes, even at this late hour, the city was still awake.

A city is just like any city in the world, Tomoe decided. The bright lights in buildings, the traffic down below, and the hum of the vehicles on the highway, everything was just the same. So wherever she was, everything would just be the same.

Wouldn't it?

One last glance, and I'll be gone for good. Tomoe rested her chin on her hand as she continued to look at the city. She had decided that she'd live in America for the rest of her life. She didn't have any family left to worry about, so she could stay wherever she liked. And she didn't have to stay in one place anyway. The nature of her work enabled her to be anywhere in the world. She could be content with a nomadic life, actually. Like a lost cat. She smiled at the thought.

Except that though her spirit would want to wander, her heart really remained in one place.

She turned her face from the city lights below and lifted it towards the stars in the sky. She couldn't see much of the stars, since she was in the city. There are more in the countryside, she thought. That was where she learned to trace the different constellations that she had learned about in school. To actually be able to see them in the night sky instead of in pictures in textbooks was a fun, albeit cold, experience. It was also a treat to know the story behind each constellation…

She checked herself. Of course she saw them, she knew them, because he showed her.

Lying down in the grassy field just below the countryside mansion, they looked up the stars and watched each constellation chase each other through the sky.

He was always fascinated by the stars, the numerous pinpricks of light that flicker in the sky. As she watched him raise his hand to point out Orion, or Cassiopea, she couldn't help but remark, "You look as if you want to reach out and pluck one for your own."

He smiled at that. Still smiling, he turned towards her. He reached for her hand and gripped it tight. "I already did," he whispered.

Tomoe turned away from the twinkling stars and from the city lights. The solitude of her room awaited her, and she went gladly into it, because she could not, cannot dwell on those feelings again. You'll always see the stars with his face in your mind. She closed her eyes and sighed. Of course I would.

A wistful thought creeped into her mind. Is he looking at the same sky as I do now?

Suddenly, it was as if a bucket of cold water was poured down on her at that unbidden thought. What are you doing, Tomoe? she chastised herself. Stop. She can't indulge herself like this anymore. She lost that privilege the moment she walked out on him five years ago.

The doorbell rang, breaking into Tomoe's thoughts. Yes, it was about time that those kinds of thoughts get broken, she mused as she moved towards the door. Just like what she told Wilson-san, she was here to tie up loose ends, and not relive the past. Regrettably, she had been doing the latter a lot nowadays.

The doorbell rang again, this time insistently. "All right, all right, I'm coming," she called out, irked at the seeming impatience of the caller. Who in his right mind would call at this time of night? And unannounced too!

"Who is it?" Tomoe called out. I definitely don't know anybody who would come calling. When no one answered, she looked through the peephole first to see who it was, and gave a start. She instinctively stepped back, but before she could act on the impulse to run away, there was a pounding on the door, and then a voice.

"Tomoe…"

Her breath caught in her throat.

"Tomoe…" the voice moaned, and the pounding weakened. "Tomoe, open up, please…"

She couldn't. She felt weak, paralyzed by the thought of the person on the other side of the door. That voice… How did you know I was here?

"Tomoe… Please…" the voice whispered pleadingly. Tomoe's hands shook. I can't say "No" to you, now, could I? she thought desperately as she slid the lock and opened the door.

Akira tumbled in.

"Akira!" Tomoe cried out, catching him with her body. But with him heavier than she is, they both fell on the floor.

"Tomoe…" he simply mumbled, bleary eyes staring at her.

Tomoe caught a whiff of alcohol from his breath. "You've been drinking!" she cried out, struggling to raise herself up from being pinned on the floor. "Akira," she called his name, but he was unresponsive. "Akira," she called again, shaking him lightly on the shoulder. Akira, though, was absolutely unhelpful, being completely inebriated, so, inch by inch, she extricated herself from him. He didn't move anymore even as she managed to be completely free of him.

Tomoe stood over Akira's inert form. You can't just leave him here in the doorway, she scolded herself, but she was hesitant to touch him. Still, she had to do something. With a great sigh, she stooped and took his arm. "Really," she groaned, and then slowly raised him up.

Tomoe felt every sinew of Akira's body as he leaned heavily on her. He was heavy, and it took every ounce of her strength to lift him up. She remembered how warm and solid his back was whenever she leaned into it. Now that the roles were reversed, she could now see why that was. I've never seen him like this before, Tomoe thought as she half-carried, half-dragged Akira to the sofa. What could have happened?

Tomoe set Akira down in the sofa. After fluffing up the throw pillows beneath his head, and hoping that he was comfortable, she stood. "Let me just get you a glass of water," she said, though she knew he wouldn't hear, and turned to the kitchen. Before she could get away, though, Akira caught her hand and held her back.

Tomoe looked at him. Akira was staring right back at her. His eyes were clear of intoxication, and instead were full of emotion that shot through her heart. "Stay," he whispered.

His grip on her was strong. She couldn't break away. "I have to get you water," Tomoe insisted. Akira still held on.

A bitter smile curled on Akira's lips. His intense gaze dulled, and slowly sank back into the glazed drunkenness it previously had. "You've always left me. You always leave me. Why can't you stay?" he murmured.

The accusations cut through her heart. She found that she couldn't defend herself from them. "I have to get you water," Tomoe repeated again, but this time, with a voice more brittle than before. The bitter smile remained on Akira's face, even as he closed his eyes.

"Of course," he whispered, and slowly releasing her hand. "Of course you will. You will… you will always… do what you have done…" He turned away from her, but not before Tomoe saw a tear slide from his closed eyes.

Tomoe stared at her freed hand. She gritted her teeth against the tears that stung her eyes. "But you don't know," she whispered, kneeling down beside Akira's sleeping form, and gently brushing away a lock of his hair from his face. At her touch, he moved, but instead of waking up as she thought, he instead moved his face closer to her hand, and slept on.

She smiled slightly at that. "You can never know," she said, her hand still against his face. Because it will only hurt you, as it still hurts me even now.

She knew that the party was a disaster the moment she stepped into the room full of Akira's relatives, business partners, associates, friends and acquaintances. At every step that she made, she repeatedly thought, This is a mistake. How could it not? Cold glances, sarcastic, fake smiles, and derisive whispers met her as Akira steered her towards each group of people.

She looked up at Akira. It was his idea to bring her to the company anniversary, where he said he would introduce her as his fiance. She agreed to that plan at that time because she left the decision of informing the world (His world, actually) up to him. Whatever makes him happy, right?

Now, he was smiling, ever so warmly, so happily, that for a while, she wanted to bask in his obvious happiness and forget about all of this. But their derision, their mockery, their disdain overwhelmed whatever happiness she was feeling at this moment. This was supposed to be a night that would be the beginning of her dreams, but now it was turning into a nightmare.

"He must be mad… Marrying his washerwoman's daughter, what a disgrace!… How could Mr. and Mrs. Kiyosato have agreed to this?… He was engaged, since birth, to the heiress of Nakashima Corporation, but because of this gypsy girl, all the benefits he might have had from the marriage, all of that, gone… Or he could have done better than the Nakashima girl, God knows many women of better families that that girl have pursued him… Is he insane? How can he refuse those? For this girl? She's not going to help him make money, she's a nobody…"

She saw the same disapproval, mockery, and derision aimed towards Akira. Akira… who is blissfully unaware about all the whispers around him. She could easily take all of these if she was the only one targeted. But if it was him…

A hand gripped her tightly and spun her roughly. It was Mrs. Nitta, and her eyes blazed with fury as she looked directly at her.

"Are the rumors true?" she demanded of Tomoe without any preamble.

"Are what rumors true, Ma'am?" Tomoe countered. She had never liked Mrs. Nitta before, and she definitely did not now that the old lady was intruding into her affairs.

"Don't play coy with me, girl, you know what I'm talking about," Mrs. Nitta spat. She pulled Tomoe further into the room."If you had any decency, girl," she continued scathingly, "if you had any gratitude towards the Kiyosato family, the hand that fed you, put those borrowed clothes on your back, you'd never have agreed to this engagement in the first place."

Before Tomoe could respond, Mrs. Nitta roughly pushed her into the crowd. "Look, if you have eyes to see, and listen to them. He's just starting to come into his own, he's beginning to learn how the business is run, but now, you've just hurt his chances of improving his image in the corporate world by this joke."

"This isn't a joke to us, Mrs. Nitta," Tomoe countered. "You know your nephew well enough. The love that we've always had for each other has never been a joke."

Mrs. Nitta scoffed. "Love? What love is this, if you're just going to ruin him?" She turned away, but not without seeing Tomoe struck by those words.

The hand that caressed Akira's face shook. You will always do what you have always done… He held this same hand before she left him, and now the hand reached out to brush away the single tear that clung on to his lashes. "But I just did that for your sake, Akira," she whispered. "You don't know…"

He grasped her hand with both of his. "Don't go, please, Tomoe," he pleaded. "Don't go."

She gritted her teeth but made no reply, and kept her face so impassive despite the despair that was burning inside.

"Don't leave me, Tomoe," he said. "You can… you can break off the engagement, we can get married sometime else… I'll let you have your big break first, establish your career here, in Hollywood, wherever… but don't…" he choked on the tears that fell freely from his eyes, "don't leave…"

She painstakingly slid her hand from his grasp. Without looking at him, she turned away so that he won't see the tears that broke free of her restraint and were beginning to form in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Akira. I have to go," she said, repeating the lie that she had rehearsed in her mind over and over again. It was a lie that she had to say, that she had to do.

"Tomoe…"

Her name would be the last thing on his lips. His voice would be the last thing on her mind. She had to remind herself to put each foot forward, to move farther away from him, to leave. It's for his own sake, and who knows, he would be the happier for it.

"Tomoe!"

She hoped he will.

He would always remember her walking away. He would always remember her leaving him. Tomoe bit her quivering lip. What else would he remember her with? What else had she ever done? Tears fell from her eyes as freely as the pain gushed out from her heart. Of course she will always go. Of course she will always leave him. On any pretense, she will always leave him.

That's what she had always been. That's what she is now, in his eyes.

You will always do what you've always done.

"But you don't know… It hurt me too," Tomoe said softly, and took her hand away from Akira's face. She slumped down beside his sleeping form, weeping silently for everything she had lost, by her own choice, and by her own will.

The damp sand swirled around his feet. Kaoru's sand castle was slowly crumbling, and he was desperately trying to save it from the rushing waves.

Kaoru stood beside him, looking on his futile efforts to raise the sand castle.

It's useless, Akira, she whispered.

Akira shook his head vigorously. No, it isn't, he said. Don't say that.

It's useless, Kaoru said again, turned from him, and started to walk away.

Akira abandoned the sand castle. Kaoru, wait! he cried out. Don't leave me!

At the sound of his approach, Kaoru turned to him again. You have to decide, Akira. Decide what your heart really wants, she said.

Kaoru… please don't do this, he pleaded. In response, Kaoru looked down and nudged towards his hand.

Akira opened his hand. The ring felt cold on his palm. Kaoru looked at it in his hand and smiled bitterly. Then she turned for the last time and walked away.

Kaoru! Akira shouted, running after her. But no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't catch up with her. Kaoru, wait, please!

Kaoru stilled, and stopped walking. Panting, Akira ran up to her and held her shoulder. He made her turn to him.

Kaoru…

But it wasn't Kaoru who faced him. It was Tomoe.

Before he could say another word, the ground suddenly opened and he fell…

A sudden gasp woke Akira up. He thought he was falling, falling from a great height to the dark abyss below, but he found that he was simply lying down on a sofa. Sunlight streamed through the glass window, warming him where the light touched him. Now that he was awake, the pain in his head became more pronounced, reminding him of the events of yesterday.

He closed his eyes again and sighed. He wasn't getting up anytime soon, even if he knew that he still had work to do. He couldn't face it, not now, not when his life was torn into pieces.

Kaoru. The ring lay heavy in his pocket as thoughts of Kaoru flooded his mind. You have to decide, she had said, and left him behind, alone in that spacious room. The silence that followed after she left turned him deaf and numb to everything else.

You have to decide, she said, and then she left him alone. He wanted to get angry at Kaoru for that. How? he mentally screamed at her, but when he remembered why she said that, he turned his anger on himself. Coward that he was, he let her go. He saw her leave, and he let her.

Kaoru. Kaoru definitely didn't deserve this. He had promised her love and protection, but he knew that at the moment he said them, he had actually broken them. Akira bit his inner lip to help stop the tears from forming. She couldn't leave me. She shouldn't leave me. She can't leave me, not now, not like this.

He loved Kaoru. He knew Kaoru loved her. So why…

Why?

You know why.

After Kaoru left him, the silence that followed became unbearable. Akira got out of the building as well, telling his secretary to cancel everything else and damn the consequence, and drove off, at first aimlessly, but eventually to the oblivion of drunkenness. God knows how he got back to his apartment.

Our apartment, he amended. Our apartment, he repeated. It was their apartment, his and Kaoru's. And it will remain as our apartment.

It should always be our apartment.

Akira winced at the stabbing pain in his head, and his heart. You will never know what you've had until you lose it.

The scent of white plums intruded into his thoughts. He thought he was just imagining the smell, but when it seemed to surround him and be present even in his innermost mind, he remembered…

He had always known where she was.

The Oniwabanshu had always given him monthly reports about what she was doing, who she was meeting, and basically anything that was happening in her life. At first, his only purpose for doing that was to remind himself that she had, with her own free will, left him to pursue a greater love, and that she was now happy with what she had. Those reports were a constant reminder of what he didn't have, and what he could never have, to stop him from longing for her.

It was a futile effort. And it just had an opposite effect from what he had professed it would be.

He had still received those reports, even when he was still with Kaoru. He still read every word that Shinomori wrote, and perused every photograph that Makimachi had taken of her. He still knew every detail of her life, because he had never stopped watching out for her.

He promised once that he will always watch out for her. And watch her, he did.

Watch her become the woman she had always dreamed she could be. Watch her fulfill every promise she made when they were small. Watch her live the life she had always wanted.

But ever since she left him, all he could do was watch.

He still knew where she was.

"Let me get you a cab now, sir," said the bartender, who knew Akira very well, after the nth glass of whiskey (or scotch, rum, and whatever kind of alcohol that was handed to him. Honestly, he didn't care). Akira didn't protest (because he couldn't even stand straight), and let himself be carried to the cab waiting outside the bar.

"Where to?" asked the cab driver. The bartender was about to answer for him, but he managed to speak out.

"The White Castle condominium."

Akira opened his eyes. The sunlight momentarily jarred his vision, but when he regained clarity, he stared up at the ceiling, then at his surroundings. White plums…

He wasn't in his apartment. He was in Tomoe's.

Tomoe…

The scent of white plums assaulted him in full force, bringing back memories that he had deliberately pushed back into the darkest corners of his mind.

"W…what are you… doing?"

Half-fearful, half-annoyed, wholly confused, Tomoe looked at him as he took her white hands in his brown ones. They've always been so fragile, he thought randomly. To be honest, he couldn't think very clearly right now. His heart was beating too fast, it's a wonder he wasn't keeling over as he knelt down before her.

They're cold, he thought again, and gripped them tightly. No, he was thinking clearly right now, because there's only one thing that he knew he had to do.

Under the stars that they loved, he asked her, quietly, but clearly, "Will you marry me, Tomoe?"…

It is said that the scent of white plum blossoms can soothe a person's heart. But right now, all that it did was to reopen the wounds that he thought had long healed. Akira raised his arm to block the sunlight, to cover the tears that had begun to spill, unbidden and unchecked. More memories racked his body as the scent hit him over and over again, until he couldn't take it anymore. He sat up abruptly and tried to ignore the spinning sensation in his head.

"I shouldn't be here," he whispered desperately, trying to regain focus. Still dizzy, he stood up, but he found out that the attempt was futile. He lost his balance, and grasped vainly for support.

A smaller, softer body gave him the support he needed.

"Akira," a familiar voice emanated beneath him.

The scent of white plums was stronger than ever.

This chapter is full of flashbacks, isn't it? Oh well. Watching Arrow rubs off on me. =)

So… okay, I can't apologize enough for updating very irregularly. I just write whenever I can. My work gives me little time for myself and for other pursuits. Also, this part of the story is now getting difficult to write. I've had a lot of write, rewrite, erasing, and changing done to this chapter, before I was able to settle on this final output (It would have gone longer, but on second – no, third, fourth, fifth – thought, all those things belong to another chapter). I hope you liked it. It's the longest I've ever written for this story.

Oh, and by the way: THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I couldn't thank you enough for your support. Reading each one of them is so delightful. I look forward to them just as much as you look forward to each chapter. =)