Authors Note: This is going to be a first person chapter, from John this time. Following that will be a chapter only dedicated to Trish but written in the third person. I just want to warn you ahead of time that the next two chapters will not be the norm. There might also be a size difference with the next two chapters. This one may be shorter and the next one may run a little long. I am not positive but if there is, you have been warned. I plan on writing all of this and ending it tonight.

Somehow find a way
To get back to where you've been

I wasn't sure I had heard her right. Randy Orton, my best friend since we had run the road together as mid card superstars was now dead? I wanted to hate him but I knew what he had most likely been through behind bars and knew that having gone through it, all I felt was sadness.

With Trish lying in the cold and barely lit surgical wing, being taken care of I was already overflowing with sadness but this only made it worse. I was forced now as Michelle rattled off a bunch of information about his funeral and when it would be; to really sit down and evaluate the friendship that until recently had been rock solid.

I entered that locker room as a rookie, Randy was already there and establishing himself as a pretty strong voice within the company. He had the speech, the look and the ability that the WWE at the time wanted. I was shy from the get go but I also knew I had the strength to see this through.

Wrestling wasn't in my blood the way that it was in Randy's but we had the same heart for it and it was what made us such good friends back then. We bonded over long ass car trips to the next show; bone tired or wasted from staying up all night drinking and talking about our youth. We were still young but looking back, our youths were pretty damn wild and it did not show any signs of slowing down.

Some said back then that Randy was on an ego trip. That he was using his father and grandfather to make himself known within the business and to make himself seem larger then life. But I was with the man through that entire time and I can tell you that was the furthest thing from his mind. He was soft spoken, had a heart of gold and seemed to have the speed and strength to rise above the painful media accounts of him.

Was he pushed a little too hard into the spotlight that he wasn't quite ready for? Sure some can say that about him because of his actions in recent years but then again I had been down the same roads as him it's just mine didn't make front page dirt sheets.

I loved the man like a brother, I respected him as one of the best young guns of wrestling and I really knew that both of us would one day end up facing each other. As it turns out we did in some dark matches but until this time we have never really had a go at each other. At least not one on one when it really counted.

I can't believe Michelle. I can't let what she said settle inside my mind. Inside of my heart. Sure the man sent me to prison without helping out at all to admit that he was the one behind it. He explained it though and while I do not understand it, I have gotten past it.

We may no longer be as close as we were in those days but aside from Shawn and Trips, there is no one that can say that they remained as close as they were when they started. I always thought Randy and I would mirror those other two men but the night I walked in on him banging Michelle, i knew whatever hope of that happening had passed.

Closing my eyes then, and letting the wind hit my face as I stood outside; the cellphone still attached to my hand, I said a silent prayer for my long ago friend. For the Randy I knew and the Randy I wished that I would get to see again. One day I was sure that I would but for now i had to settle with the fact that he was gone from me and he didn't have anyone to blame for it but himself.

About to head in, I looked up and inside of the hospital doors and saw the doctor talking animatedly to Shawn. Knowing that it had something to do with my love, with Trish I ran as quickly as I could back in through the doors.

Putting on the brakes as soon as I got to them I saw the grave look on Shawn's otherwise calm features and knew that what i was about to find out was not good. As if Shawn sensed that I already knew and was expecting the worst, he put his arm on mine. I welcomed the feeling only because after hearing about Randy I now suddenly felt more alone then ever. Shawn being the friend that he was, was helping me more then he knew.

"Don't tell me Shawn! Do not tell me that she's dead."

He looked at me and I could tell instantly that what he had to tell me wasn't as bad as I originally thought but that it wasn't good either. Before Shawn could say anything though, the doctor started to speak, letting me know just what Shawn hadn't gotten a chance to tell me.

"Her vitals dipped quite a bit throughout the surgery to repair the artery that was torn. We have repaired it but the blood loss was so severe that it put her into a coma. She is alive but at this very moment she is holding on by a thread."

The Doctor's words were cold and unfeeling and while I knew that he had to remain that way as not to get attached to the patients he was in charge of saving, I knew that inside I wanted to hit him for not caring enough to sound less frigid about it. I wanted, no I demanded more of him if he was going to be caring for Trish. She wasn't just any other woman like he assumed. She was his and he couldn't bear to have her talked about this.

"So what you're telling me is that she isn't expected to live through the night?"

The doctor just shook his head and looked me deep in the eyes. He was deathly serious now and I paid attention to every word. "She needs to be monitored but she does not have a death sentence. When I told you she is hanging on by a thread I meant that she needs more monitoring to make sure she doesn't have any more trauma. Not that she was going to die."

I really wanted to run from here now. First Randy and now Trish. Was it really possible that I might have to lose both of them in the same amount of time? What was the use of trying so hard to change and get better if the two reasons I had for living were going to be taken from me.

You still have two very valid reasons to keep you here my son. Do not give up. Put your faith in me.

I looked around, expecting the words to have come from Shawn as he was the more spiritual of the both of us but when I noticed that he was standing further away from me, I knew I had been visited again by a higher power.

It put my focus back where it belonged and without another thought or comment, I motioned for the doctor to take me to her. I needed to see her and I needed to give her a reason to fight. I was not going to leave the hospital again until I did. The twins mother would be coming home with me, even if I had to give my own life to make it happen.