She was surprised that she remembered where the house was. It had been so long since she'd last been there, since she'd last pulled up to the driveway and stared up at the massive rose colored house, that she thought she'd need to drive around for a while before her memory returned. But remarkably, she found the house without a single wrong turn. The last time she'd seen it she'd been throwing it glances over her shoulder as she left, upset that he hadn't taken her to town, that he wouldn't tell her why he'd been spending nights in the basement. The memories of that day were painful, the day hadn't gone as she'd planned, but in hindsight, looking back on all the trouble they'd been through, the way they'd grown in the weeks that followed, she couldn't say that she regretted leaving entirely.
Could they have handled the situation better? Maybe. Would they have arrived at the same place they were now if she hadn't left? Possibly. But the events that had followed her leaving had taught her a valuable lesson. Sometimes in order to move forward, it was necessary to take a step back. She hoped that was what this was now. She hoped that everything she'd been through since he left was the step back, but the arrival of Ariel, the safe return of that box, and being here, at his house again, she was hoping this was the step forward. She knew that it wouldn't be easy, but it was right.
She took a deep breath, summoned the little bit of courage that today had left her with, and got out of the car, carrying only her bag and a Styrofoam box containing her hamburger and fries since she hadn't even thought to go back to her apartment to pack a bag first. His keys were in her bag and she found them easily enough as she climbed the stairs and picked the right one out by moonlight, then unlocked the door, pushed it open, and stepped inside.
The house was black, darker than she'd ever seen it because she'd never gotten to see it without life. Either she'd been there or they'd been there together, she'd never come home to it empty and for her own sake she didn't want to picture him doing it. She reached over and turned on the light that illuminated the hallway. It was just as she remembered it. Well, not entirely true. The furniture the layout, that was all the same. She hadn't really expected that it would have changed, but what she certainly hadn't expected was the clutter. When she'd left, she'd done it because he'd kept her cooped up with nothing to do. She'd turned to cleaning the house, moving the clutter, straightening things out, turning a house into a home just like she'd done when she'd first arrived at the castle. He hadn't liked her doing it, mostly because it reminded him too much of when she'd first arrived at the castle and made him feel as though he was still keeping her as a caretaker that just so happened to share his bed. But it had been a great way to spend hours at a time, the problem came when she had finished and was right back where she'd started, with nothing to do.
However, it seemed that in her absence, in the weeks that she'd been gone and she'd been in the hospital, he had been reverting to his old ways. It wasn't as bad as when she'd first arrived, but in the short amount of time she'd been gone there was already clutter in the hallway, books and items stacked one after another on the tables, the couches, even the stairs, knick knacks laid out on the surfaces big enough for them in states of incompleteness, looking like he'd just set them down a minute ago and was about to come back to them. Besides needing to be picked up, there was also a layer of dust on all of the surfaces and the floors needed a good sweeping...no doubt remnants of her time as Lacey and his time in Neverland when the house had been unoccupied.
She hung her jacket up on one of the hooks by the door and made her way through the back of the house to the kitchen. The sight that greeted her made her stop and shake her head. There were dishes in the sink, waiting to be cleaned, a working list of groceries to get still attached to the refrigerator, and the little green light on his dishwasher was lit ready to let him know that its contents were clean and ready to be restacked. It was just like with the knick knacks, it looked as though he'd just walked away that morning, meaning to come back in the evening as always.
It spoke to the week they'd had. When was the last time he'd been here? Not since Neverland. Not before that either, the two days before he'd been firmly planted in her apartment, babysitting her while she'd been Lacey. Maybe that morning then. Yes. He'd come to see her just after returning from New York. He'd invited her to come back home with him, she'd accepted, and he'd left telling her that he had to make arrangements and he'd be back for her later. She wasn't positive what those arrangements were, but they didn't matter. It wasn't much longer after that Regina had walked in and the rest was history. She simply hadn't been there when he came back. It felt like eons ago. Not days.
She put the terrible week she'd had far from her memory and made herself busy. She found a plate, set her dinner out on it, and ate, really ate something for the first time since he left. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a meal, the last time she'd been hungry enough for a meal! And the little she had eaten in the last few days certainly had no taste, at least not to her. She couldn't finish it all and she wasn't terribly surprised at that, but she ate what she could and between bites she found little things to keep her busy. She emptied the dishwasher and loaded it again, sorted through some of the clutter, the mail, and books, that had gathered on the counter, took a glance into the fridge and began adding to the list and throwing out what had gone bad since he was last there, finally making a mental note that she needed to take the trash out tomorrow to get the smell of waste out of the house.
She'd had a long day, finally eaten a meal, and the only thing, she supposed, that was left was to go to bed. Her heart hammered at the prospect. Bed. She'd been avoiding that. The nightmares since he'd gone were simply too much. Would that be different now too? Was it safe to go to sleep? There was only one way to find out. She shut off the lights in the kitchen, like normal, made sure to lock the doors, check the windows, play with the thermostat, all the while trying to get her pulse to stop racing. When she couldn't come up with anything else to do, she finally climbed the stairs that would take her to their bedroom.
But she never made it. She was at the top of the stairs, the door right in front of her when she found herself stopping at a strange sight. The room at the end of the hall, the door was shut…it never had been before. Sure, she hadn't lived here that long, but she'd lived with him long enough to know that he like to keep the doors open and that there was really no reason to shut the doors up here. There was nothing but junk in the upper rooms, she knew that from experience. She had cleaned, but putting everything in order hadn't been possible because of how much work "Mr. Gold" appeared to bring home with him. The best she'd been able to do was straighten up the junk he'd had. But there was nothing valuable in the rooms. So why would he have shut this room off from the others? Curiously she turned the handle and opened the door peering in. Her jaw dropped.
It was a room. Not like it had been before, used for storage, but an actual bedroom. A large clean brand new bed sat against the far wall, complete with comfortable soft looking sheets. Beside it sat a brand new nightstand, lamp, and clock. On the far side was a chest of drawers, curiosity and shock goading her on, she opened each of the draws. They were all filled with clothes. Women's clothes. The kind that she liked. Quickly she moved over to the closet and pulled back the doors, this time not surprised to see that it too was filled with clothing. Confused she turned around, her back resting against the doors, but instead of catching her breath she stumbled upon another surprise.
By the window was a beautiful, comfortable, blue arm chair and footstool. And sitting by it a small circular table was perched by its side. On the other side of the window sat a bookshelf that was filled with her favorite books, but there was one book sitting on the side table that caught her eye. Slowly she walked over to it and her eyes pricked with tears as she picked it up and read the title. The Mysterious Island by Jules Vern. The book Ruby had given her to read in the hospital.
Tears stung the corners of her eyes. There was a lot she regretted about Lacey, but as she looked around the room she'd never gotten the opportunity to use, it was the unknown that she regretted the most. The arrangements. The ones she hadn't known about, the ones she thought she'd never learn about-this was it. He'd prepared a room for her. A sheltered place for her to recuperate, to learn who she was, who he was. A place they could fall in love all over again. That's what would have happened, she knew it. It wouldn't have been long she had already been falling in love when he'd come to the hospital that day, it would only have been a matter of time before she'd have kissed him, true loves kiss would have brought her memories back, and they would have shared this house again without needing separate rooms. He'd gotten everything perfect, just the way she would have liked it. Now, the only thing she wanted, was for him to come home, to see her again as she'd daringly predicted.
Without a word, before the tears in her eyes could fall, she turned off the light and shut the door to her room again, just as he'd left it. There was always hope, she'd forgotten in his absence but now that she knew he was alive that he believed he was coming home she felt it working its way into her head a little more each minute. He was going to come back, he was going to walk into his shop again, he was going to come back to her, hand in hand they would walk these halls together and share this house.
It might not be perfect, or joyful, they'd have to deal with everything that had taken place in this world and in Neverland...with Baelfire, but they could do it, just like they'd done it before. She felt as though her eyes had finally opened, that with the events of today she'd finally gotten enough of herself back that she could see clearly again. She'd always been better at seeing the positive over the negative, and there was no reason to change just because he was gone. Sad as it was, separation was the story of their life! He'd sent her away, but she'd come back to him. The Queen had held her prisoner for more than twenty-eight years, but they'd been reunited. She'd left again and that time it had been him that came to her. When she'd lost herself and become another person, he'd given her the potion to return her to herself again. Yes, there was hope again. They'd been separated before but one way or another they always made it back to one another. There was no reason to think that this was any different. They would be together again. Maybe even sooner than she thought!
Despite her smile, despite the fact that she knew it was light, the door to their bedroom felt like it weighed a million pounds. It was just as she remembered it: cleaner than the rest of the house, no personal items, and a bed for two made nice and neat. She'd never slept in that bed alone. She'd never had to, not like he did. And to be honest she wasn't even sure that she knew how to. But she'd never know if she didn't try. With a deep sigh she put one foot in front of the other, located a night gown she still had around, making a mental note to collect clothes from the other room and her apartment if she was going to make this permanent.
She pulled back the sheets on her side, but before sliding between their folds her eyes found the closet giving her an idea. It wouldn't be the same, she knew, but it would be something at least. It would be comforting. So she ventured into the closet and pressed her nose to coat after coat until she found one that finally smelled heavily of him. She removed it from its hanger, wrapped it around one of his pillows, and stuffed it between the sheets on his side, cuddling the poor replacement to her chest before she closed her eyes and hoped that the nightmares would be drowned out tonight by the precious flicker of hope she was determined to keep burning in her chest.
She'd been through more than most people ever had and through it all she had come out on top. She'd been threatened by great evils, by disbelief, and from her own disheartened emotions, but she had gotten through it, one after the other, better on the other side. So she had to keep faith, to continue to keep her hope alive. One day they would be back. One day it would be alright again. One day she'd get her version of happy ever after, and it would be great because it wouldn't just be hers it would be theirs! And they would face that ending like they faced every other threat they'd ever confronted…with hope.
On the surface I know this chapter seems like filler...and it probably is. But I just think that there is so much in this chapter that is important for the future. Belle's moving home, she's determined to make things better when he returns home, and she's really got hope again where there was no hope before! I think this is an extremely important chapter for those reasons and I hope that you will too.
Thank you Meredith Pechta, Aurorawithatwist, Parallel, LaurieAHancock, Katido, Onlyinyourdreams77, Deweymay, and Yakibaru for your awesome reviews! I'm happy that ya'll don't mind the absence of Rumple as much as I thought you would. But either way, fear not, his return is immenant. It won't be in the next chapter or the chapter after that or even the chapter after that...but it's coming. I promise it's coming! Peace and Happy Reading!