So guys, thanks for the reviews, I wasn't expected so many reactions!I love how invested you are in this story!I know Maura was a bitch on this. I don't know what came to my mind when I wrote this. I think it's time for Maura to give back a little bit...

To D : Yes your opinion is worth a lot for me, please continue to give your feedback, positive or negative, it helps me and makes me a better writer!

Chapter 21:

Giving back:

While Maura was at work Jane lied in bed replaying their conversation in her head. She couldn't help but resenting Maura for her attitude. Over the past 6 months Jane had given her everything : her time, her patience, her love, she actually completely changed who she was for her, to be worthy of her love . Now Maura was asking her to give up her dream, and as much as Jane loved her it was too much for her to handle. Ever since she was a little girl Jane wanted to be a cop and she has been working hard for the past 3 years and now that her effort were recognized and rewarded she should give it all up so her girlfriend wouldn't worry?No, that wasn't something she could consider, but on the other hand could she consider living without Maura?Could she also consider living with someone who made her give up her dream when she already had already given up so much to be with her?The answer was yes. As much as she knew she would be miserable for the rest of her life if she was forced to stay a simple officer, Jane loved Maura. She remembered how lonely and miserable her life was before they met and she didn't want to go back to that life. Maybe being spending the rest of her life with Maura would satisfy her enough so she wouldn't regret giving up her dream. Or maybe she would resent her for forcing her to make that choice. All Jane knew was that she loved Maura and that Maura loved her. Unfortunately Maura still had trust issues and rather than breaking up with her, the adult thing to do was talk to her about it and try to solve the problem . She knew that the best thing to do was to find a compromise that wouldn't be a sacrifice for either of them. Jane was aware and thankful that Maura gave her virginity to her, but right now it felt like a poisoned gift. She knew that not matter what she gave Maura she could never live up to that gift. She knew that Maura was to well educated to remind her of what she had given her, but she knew that she was expecting Jane to be grateful and to act accordingly. Jane spent hours trying to make a decision, and her head was hurting so hard that it exhausted her to the point where she fell asleep without noticing it.

When Jane finally woke up Maura was lying in bed next to her watching her sleep

"Hey, you're back." Jane said painfully opening her eyes.

"Yes, I came back a few minutes ago. I'm sorry to wake you up." Maura replied smiling swiping hair away from Jane's face.

"It's alright." Jane yawned as she straightened up in bed.

"How much do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. I actually spent several hours thinking about our conversation, trying to make a decision."

"Oh I see. Is this the moment when you break up with me?"

"I wouldn't be here if I wanted to break up with you but the way I see things, I already changed a lot for you. I changed who I was because I love you and wanted to be good enough for you, but I feel that no matter what I do it's never enough."

"It is, I love you Jane."

"Then why are you trying to change me?I know I had to change, that I couldn't continue living my life the way I lived it and be with you, but I shouldn't have to completely change who I am for you. You should love me for who I am, and I'm a cop, you knew it from the start."

"I know and I realize that asking you refuse this promotion was completely selfish and childish."

"I understand your point, I really do, but as much as I love you my job is important too and if I know that if I don't take this job, I'll never make detective."

"I understand, you've been working for years for this and your hard work finally paid off. I just…I'm scared of loosing you."

"You won't. If you don't trust me when I'm telling you that I'm careful now and that I would never put myself in danger on purpose, then maybe we're not ready to move in together."

"Don't say that. I love you and I trust you. I don't want you to change, actually I never asked you to change for me."

"You didn't ask me to change but I knew you would have never loved me the way I was."

"You're wrong. I fell in love with you before you told me about your past. I fell in love with you when we spent hours under that three talking, my head on your lap. When you told me about your past I didn't run away. I never judged you for your past Jane. All I can see when is how carrying, funny you are and how safe I feel when I'm with you. nothing else matters."

"I know, you gave me a chance, and you gave me your virginity, and trust me I am grateful. It's just I feel like you gave me this great gift and you now expect me to not only be grateful for it but also to live up to that gift and reciprocate, but I know that nothing I could ever top the gift you gave me."

"Oh Jane, you're taking this the wrong way. I'm the one who should be grateful for everything you gave me not the other way around. Obviously giving you my virginity was a wonderful gift but you gave me so much, don't ever think that you can't live up to what I gave you. You gave me more then I could have ever dreamed or whited for. I'm the one who should be grateful and who should try to live up to what you've been giving me for the past 6 months but instead of doing that I act like a spoil child."

"Well to be fair, I'm your first relationship and as much as you know about the human mind you have a lot of things to learn about relationship and so do I. For example a relationship is about sacrifices and compromises."

" I know and it's also about trust. I'm sorry, I do trust you and extremely proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course, you worked hard for the past 3 years and you're finally seeing the results. I do have to admit that I'm going to miss seeing you in your uniform, but you can always wear it at home right?"

"Of course I can. Wait does that mean I have your blessing?I don't want to loose or to hurt you."

"I know, I think I'm going to worry a lot but I'd rather worry then keeping you from realizing your dream. I know I couldn't bear seeing you unhappy because of me."

"You could never make me unhappy, I love you. I would refuse this job in a heart beat if it meant keeping you from being hurt, you know that right?"

"I know but I don't want to be the kind of girlfriend who traps the woman she loves in that kind of relationship. Just promise me you won't stay in that unit for ever and that our relationship will always come first."

"Of course. You know my ultimate goal is Homicide, so don't worry this is only temporary and yes I promise you that you will always comes first. The hours might be a bit different but I promise to always make you my priority."

"Will you be going under cover?"

"I doubt it. I'm not experienced enough to infiltrate drugs gangs and besides as sexist as it sounds only male Detective are sent undercover for that type of operation."

"Why is that? Don't drug dealers work with women as well?"

"Yes, but women are usually at the end of the chain you know. When we infiltrate a gang our goal is to get as close to the top of the organization as possible and drugs lords don't tolerate with women at that level"

"Well, for the first time in my life I'm actually grateful for sexism."

"So I am. I want our relationship to work, I really do, I can't wait for us to move into that flat."

"Which one are you talking about?"

"The one we visited yesterday, I could see how much you loved it."

"Did you like it as well?"

"It's a bit big for me, but you have a lot of clothes and books so we're gonna need the space. I think you and I are going to be very happy in this apartment."

"I think so too. Should we call the landlord?"Maura asked clapping her hands over excited.

"Yes, I think we should move fast, an apartment like that is gonna go fast."Jane replied smiling enjoying the happy smile on her girlfriend's face.

Jane was right being in a relationship was about trust and compromise. As much as Maura knew she was going worry sick, she couldn't keep Jane from realizing her dream. She knew Jane would have given it up for her but that she would have been miserable for the rest of her life. After all Jane gave her and all the compromises she had already made to be with her it was only fair that she made the effort for once. Thinking about it Maura realized that she had been acting like a spoiled princess. At first right after Jane confessed her past to her, she started to test her to see if she was sincere. She held on a bit and let Jane prove herself to her. Unfortunately with time she got comfortable and got used to being treated like a princess. Obviously Maura didn't feel that she wasn't giving anything to Jane, but she was aware that Jane was certainly the one who made the more compromises and sacrifices and for the first time since they've been dating she felt that it was time to change that pattern. She knew that there was no need to feel defensive anymore, that she could trust Jane and give herself to her completely.

So guys, satisfied?I know I made a lot of you angry with the previous chapter ...But I like to write some drama just to see you react!At first I wanted this story to be a romantic and easy one, but I love drama too much. I never imagined writing Maura as such a pain in Jane's ass. I think from no won Maura is going to reciprocate a bit more and give more to Jane. Obviously I have lots of drama in mind, but I think Maura understood that she acted like a spoil princess and that it was time for her to change!
As always please go crazy on reviews!