This chapter was written by Johanna-002 and me together.
As summer came to its inevitable end, the start of Autumn brought several new beginnings. Julio had begun taking classes at the local junior college, while working part time to pay for tuition. Benny, who had started his Senior year, was usually at school early in the morning, before the first bell, working with the basketball coach to secure his spot, and some nights he didn't get home until close to seven. He had quite a bit of improvement to make, since he had quit the team a couple of seasons ago, but it looked as if he may actually have a shot at a second chance.
Preparing for the new school year, hadn't been as hands on as it would if the boys were young, but still Gloria and Red felt like they were in overdrive. Turning seventeen had not done much to make Benny more responsible. He still left everything to the last minute. He needed a physical done so he could tryout for the team, shot records had to be updated; a form missing for this; a form needed for that-they couldn't catch a break. However, it was convenient that they independently worked so close to home. With such different schedules, it was a special treat whenever they all happened to be home at the same time.
Julio handled most of his loan applications and other registration paperwork himself, but Red had attended the information session with him, out of curiosity more than because he had really needed her there. Julio valued her input on picking the courses that would be most beneficial to him though, and Red completely enjoyed being included in the experience. Always bookish and driven, she would have loved to have had opportunities like this when she was young. She was still disappointed that none of her sons had ever been inclined to pursue higher education after high school. She'd have loved for at least one of them to go to college.
Checking her phone, Gloria sighed at the "I might be late tonight," message from Red. While it wasn't a huge surprise, she'd been working harder and longer than ever, Gloria had been wishful that they'd get a little alone time since she had been able to get off earlier than expected. But now knowing her wife would be absent, and that she'd be left to her own devices until the boys got home, the crisp, October afternoon, suddenly seemed much colder and damp then it had been.
Turning her head up toward the sky, she scoffed at the storm that roared in response. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, and furiously moved her palms up and down in an effort to keep warm. Keeping her head ducked against the wind, she shivered. She had been in such a rush getting out the front door that morning, running late, like she often was, she had neglected to grab more than just a cardigan.
Well, she reasoned with herself, as long as Red isn't going to be home, I could be productive, start dinner. She laughed at her own ridiculousness. In actuality, all she wanted to do was change into her pajamas and snuggle in front of the television with her kitten.
Turning onto her street, she began to pick up the pace. Reaching the steps of their front porch, she ran up them two at a time. Key already in hand, she pushed herself anxiously against the door and breathed a sigh of relief when she was immediately greeted by the warmth of their home.
"Kitty, kitty," Gloria crooned, rubbing her hands together as she kicked the front door closed with her foot. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, summoning the feisty feline.
"Meow" Millie sprung before her in greeting.
Rubbing herself around Gloria's legs, she arched her back highly and nuzzled her head against her calf lovingly. Loyal to her mistress, she always came to the door to stay hello when Gloria arrived. Unlike Duke, who was curled up on the armchair. He had barely even lifted his lazy head, before collapsing back down into a pathetic mess.
"Did you miss me?" Gloria asked Millie softly. "Hmm? I missed you, tiny girl." She scooped Millie into her arms and rubbed her cheek against her soft fur. Kicking off the running shoes she had worn home from the store, she tossed her bag carelessly onto the couch before collapsing down next to it. "I'm tired, Millie," she told her cat as she scratched behind her ear. "And I'm freezing…" she told her seriously. The small feline meowed in response. "Yea," Gloria said. "I didn't expect you to understand, you have this gorgeous coat," she stroked her hand down her back and smiled. "But it's okay, Red had no sympathy for me either."
Reaching for the remote, that had been abandoned on the coffee table, she powered on the television and began to mindlessly flip through the channels. "No," she said as she skipped over an episode of Judge Judy. "No," an episode of Rachael Ray. "Okay…" she studied the TV, sizing up an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. "Maybe…" Turning the volume up, she relaxed against the back of the sofa and smiled down at the sleeping kitty on her chest. Continuing to stroke Millie softly, she kicked her legs up on the coffee table and let out a sigh of contentment.
It felt like only half a second later, when she heard the shrill ringing of her cell phone. "Damn it," she cursed. Reaching over for her purse, careful not to disturb Millie in the process, she blindly fumbled with locating the annoying device. Fully expecting it to be one of the boys or Red, she answered unceremoniously. "Yea?" Only after the words left her mouth, did she realize that it could be her boss calling to ask her to work over time.
"Gloria?"
Frowning, Gloria pulled the phone away from her ear and gasped in surprise at the caller ID. Feelings of both panic and joy intermingled within her. "Hello?" Gloria said breathlessly. "Valentina?" She shook her head at how pathetic she sounded. She hugged Millie close to her chest and forced herself to calm down. She had been relentless in reaching out to her girls after Lourdes' funeral, but she had never been successful in getting them to call her back.
"Yea," Valentina said awkwardly. "Are you at work?" she asked. "I didn't mean to bother you-"
"No, no…" Gloria shushed her. " I just got home. How are you?" she asked sincerely. "I'm so happy you called."
On the other end of the line, Valentina cleared her throat. "Yea, I'm okay." She sounded more uncomfortable than nervous. "How are you?"
"Fine, good," Gloria said a little enthusiastically. "Better now, hearing your voice." There was a momentary pause, and she felt her heart clench painfully at the prospect of being hung up on. "How is your sister?" she asked. "I haven't heard from either of you since the funeral… is she okay?"
"We're both fine," Valentina said tensely.
Gloria nodded and nervously licked her lips. "Good… good."
"Well, look," Valentina replied, ignoring her. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, alright? I actually had a reason for calling. I spoke with Lida a few days ago and she invited Carmen and I to her baby shower-girl's day, or whatever you want to call it."
"Lida invited you?" Gloria's brows furrowed in confusion.
"Is that a problem?" Valentina asked tightly.
"No, of course not," Gloria said immediately. "I'm just surprised," she trailed off. "I was under the impression that it was a surprise party. How did she find out?"
"I don't know," Valentina answered, "she said her mother-in-law told her about it...wanted to know who to invite for her or something."
"Ah, that explains in," Gloria rolled her eyes. A smile touched her lips at the thought of Red and she felt a wave of comfort flood through her. "The woman couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it."
"Who?" Valentina sounded confused. "Lida?"
"No, Galina," Gloria replied. She shook her head in an attempt to dispel all thoughts of her wife. "Lida's mother-in-law." Pulling her knees up beneath her, she adjusted Millie in her arms and glanced down at her innocent frame fondly. "Are you going to come?" she asked, "is your sister?"
"I'd like to," said Valentina. "It's the reason I called you. Lida told me that you'll be there and I just want to clear the air, so to speak. I don't want it to be uncomfortable for either of us."
"Val…" Gloria breathed. "All I have ever wanted was for you and your sister to pick up a phone and call me, or at the very least, accept my calls. I miss you two more than I'll ever be able to put into words and I-"
"See," Valentina said flatly, "This… this right here… this is what I don't want." She was not at all convinced by her mother's words. "I want to avoid this situation all together. I don't want you getting emotional and trying to slap a band-aid on us, and expect it to magically fix everything."
"I understand…" Gloria shut her eyes. "If you don't want to see me, I won't go. You shouldn't miss out on your friend's baby shower. Lida wants you and Carmen there."
"Yea, well… she wants you there too, from what I could gather," Valentina let out a little laugh. "Lida seems very fond of you, the way she was rambling on… well, she always got over enthusiastic about things. Carmen and I used to tease her about how much she sucked up to Daddy."
Gloria smiled sadly. "I can see that. Sometimes she tries too hard."
"She was always teacher's pet too," Valentina said, and Gloria knew her daughter had just rolled her eyes. "Wasn't even that great at school but was usually pretty adored anyway."
"You were always good at school though," Gloria said, a note of pride in her voice. "I always knew that you were going to do great things with your life. You just had a drive in you that I didn't have-but I always admired it in you."
There was a pause. "Thank you," Valentina said softly. "That's nice of you to say. And I guess I am doing okay…."
"From what you told me the last time we talked, you're doing better than okay," Gloria replied. "You're a teacher. It doesn't surprise me, but it makes me proud all the same."
"Yeah, it's good," Valentina agreed slowly. She hesitated and then added, "and it's pretty convenient to teach at the same school that Gabby attends."
"She's in kindergarten?" asked Gloria.
"She started this September," Valentina replied softly.
"How does she like it?" Gloria pinched nervously at her bottom lip.
"Loves it," Valentina replied. "She's very smart, very beautiful."
Gloria sighed, and her eyes fell closed mournfully. "Val," she knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't stop herself from pleading, "I really would like to meet her."
"I know you would." Valentina inhaled a large breath before slowly releasing it, "But, like….Gloria, you can't just put that on me. Not yet."
"Valentina-"
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just don't want to include my daughter in this until I know that things will be okay."
"It would be okay," Gloria said quietly. "I just want a chance-"
"It's not about what you want," Valentina sighed. "It's about what is best for her… for me." She inhaled another deep breath. "But besides that, I need to talk with my husband, and with Daddy, first."
Gloria shook her head and pinched at the bridge of her nose. "Alright-"
"There's just a lot going on right now, you know?" Valentina attempted to pacify her. " So maybe we'll just see one another at Lida's party and then decide where to go from there."
"Whatever you say," Gloria said quietly. "I'll do whatever you need."
"I'm not trying to hurt your feelings," Valentina said uncomfortably, "but we can't just forget the past."
"No, we can't," Gloria said coolly, "but maybe I could help you understand the past a little better. You've only heard one side, after all."
"Well you weren't really around for us to get yours, were you?" Valentina asked coldly.
Gloria resisted the temptation to roll her eyes. Her girl could be so damn frustrating at times. Just like her father, she thought bitterly. "I'm around now," she said defensively, "and I would like-"
"Sometimes, you just have to let it go," Valentina said tiredly. "We don't have to do this. Okay? This isn't what I want. Besides that, Gloria, your actions, the evidence-it speaks for itself. I mean, you've spent the past eight years in prison, and before that, you abandoned two kids, and then ran off to have two more that you couldn't even take care of. What position could you possibly take to make yourself look like the martyr?"
Gloria let out a little sound of anguish, "You sound just like your father."
"Well am I wrong?" Valentina asked shortly, "is any of what I just said not true?"
"I've made mistakes," Gloria admitted, "and I've paid the highest price imaginable. I lost you and your sister, and I lost eight years with your brothers, but whatever you've heard to the contrary, I did not abandon you."
"Well, what would you call a mother who just disappeared?" Valentina asked shortly.
"It's more than that," Gloria said sadly. "I was young, Valentina. So young… and I was scared. I didn't have help the way your father did. I didn't know how to properly navigate through our complicated legal system and fight for my rights." She tucked a piece of hair back behind her ears before continuing. "It's not like your father made things easy for me, sweetie. I tried-"
"Please. I just… I don't want to hear it-" Valentina let out a long noise of frustration. Gloria waited for her to continue. Over the phone she could hear her daughter take a deep breath. "You always do this. You always make yourself the victim, and you're not. I didn't call to argue, or to fight with you… but, you just frustrate me so damn much! You make me say these things that I don't want to say, and please, I'm not trying to be mean…."
"You're not mean," Gloria said, massaging her fingers into the left side of her temple. "You're hurt…" she wanted to understand things from Valentina's point of view, but it was hard when from every angle she was being pinned as some monster who ruined her life. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," she said sincerely. "It was never ever my intention." Wiping at the tears that fell unbidden from her eyes, she tried to ignore just how hollow and hurt she was feeling inside. Every word Valentina spoke against her was like a stab in her heart.
She heard the front door open and turned hopefully towards it, praying to see Red coming through. She needed to be reminded that she wasn't as awful a person, as awful a mother, as her ex-husband had always said she was. Her face fell in disappointment when Nicky walked in.
Humming a cheerful tune to herself, Nicky broke into an expressive smile as she skipped over to jump on the couch next to Gloria. Oblivious to the pain in her eyes, Nicky tucked her feet up beneath her and reached her hand out for the phone. "Are you talking to Ma?" she slurred, "Let me talk to her. I need to tell her something veeeeerrry important."
Waving her off, Gloria twisted so that she was facing forward. Bent over at the waist, elbows on her knees, she nodded along to Valentina as she spoke. She was much calmer than she had been a few moments earlier, rambling about having to go soon to make dinner.
Nicky crawled up on her knees and reached for the phone once more. "Is it Ma?" she asked again. "I promise I'll be quick, just let me talk-"
"Qué chingados! What the fuck," Gloria hissed under her breath. "Get off me!" she snapped. She stood up off of the couch and walked over to stand by the kitchen sink.
"What, are you gonna play hard to get?" Nicky called, but Gloria only waved a hand at her.
"What's going on over there?" Valentina asked. "Who was that?"
"Nicky," Gloria said dismissively, "but never mind...what were you saying?"
"Nothing," Valentina replied, seeming annoyed by the interruption. "I should probably get going anyway, my husband will be home soon. I should get started on dinner, but I will see you at Lida's party. Maybe we'll have a good time."
"Yeah," Gloria said softly, as she glared sternly at the back of Nicky's head. "I think it will be good for us. I mean, I'd do anything to spend time with you two girls."
"You mean that?" Valentina asked.
"I miss you every single day," Gloria told her. "I hate the way we are, and I'd do anything to change it. But it is hard to figure out how I'm supposed to do that, when you won't even talk to me."
"Well, I'm talking to you right now," Valentina replied.
"You are," Gloria agreed, "and I'm so glad you called. I hope you will again soon... or at least, answer my call," she said knowingly.
"You're right," Valentina said agreeably. She paused momentarily, and then cleared her throat. "Hey, look, before you go, there is something that I was sort of curious about," she cleared her throat a second time. "I feel awkward for asking, but what exactly is going on between you and Lida's mother-in-law?"
"Galina?" Gloria asked.
"Right," Valentina agreed. "Galina," she cleared her throat once more. "It's just… Lida said some things and they made me wonder… you're just friends, right?"
"We live together," Gloria responded calmly. "She's my partner."
"So you're gay?" Valentina asked bluntly. "Daddy said it wouldn't have surprised him to learn you turned out that way."
Gloria rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. She clenched a tight palm full of tresses and shook her head. "I wish you wouldn't speak about me to your father so much," she said, with a touch of irritation. "It's none of his business."
"We're close," Valentina said defensively. "Life would have been a lot harder for me if I didn't have at least one parent that I could talk to."
"You can talk to me," Gloria reminded her. "And especially when it's something you want to know about me, I'd appreciate it if you asked me directly-like you're doing now."
"I wasn't trying to make this a thing," Valentina told her, "I just didn't want to walk into Lida's party and get blindsided by something... really awkward," she struggled for the proper words.
"It won't be awkward," Gloria said calmly. "It's fine."
"If you say so," Valentina muttered. She sighed softly, "I really should get going..."
"If you want to call me back tonight when you have more time, you can," Gloria said, sounding hopeful.
"Not tonight," Valentina said quickly. "But I'll be in touch. And I'll see you at the party."
"Okay," Gloria said softly. "Bye for now, love."
"Goodbye."
Gloria turned off her phone and then shuffled back to the couch where Nicky was sprawled out watching the channel she had turned on. "What the hell was that about?" Gloria snapped. "A five-year-old knows better than to interrupt somebody who is talking on the phone."
"I told you I needed to talk to her," Nicky slurred. "You wouldn't let me...and it was important."
"It wasn't her!" Gloria said irritatingly. "I don't know why you assumed it was. She's at work, she's busy."
"I thought it was her because you don't have any friends. You don't talk to people." Nicky let out a hiccup and laughed loudly. "Sorry, sorry, sorry…" she jeered. "That wasn't true. I'm your friend. I could even be your best friend if you wanted…"
"I don't want," Gloria said flatly. "What's the matter with you?"
"According to Marka, practically everything," Nicky said brightly. "And if you're talking to Lorna, she'd probably say the same thing."
"Did you two have a fight or something?" Gloria asked boredly. "Is that why you're over here?"
"I came over because I needed some love and Lorna won't be nice to me," Nicky said.
"Well, I'm afraid you're out of luck then," Gloria picked at a fingernail. "I already told you that Red isn't here and I'm not feeling particularly lovable at the moment."
Nicky smirked, "do you ever?" She flipped onto her side to look at her. "If you weren't talking to Ma, then who were you talking to? A secret admirer?"
Gloria rolled her eyes. "My daughter," she said monotonously. "First chance I get to actually have a conversation with her, and you come bouncing in like a headless idiot."
Nicky frowned at her, "would a headless idiot bounce? They'd be headless… would they even be alive?"
"Nicky," Gloria held up her hand, stopping her. "Why the hell aren't you in school? Your mother will be home soon and she's not gonna be very happy to see you sprawled out on her couch like a bum, and if her boss was there today, breathing down her neck like he always is, she might just be mad enough to kick your ass herself. "
"Ah," Nicky waved her away. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" Toeing off her shoes, she watched as they dropped to the ground, particles of mud flying about. "Besides, I took a personal day," she slurred. "She'll understand. She used to take them for you all the time."
"What did you do that for?" Gloria rolled her eyes. "To fight with Lorna about something petty? To interrupt my peaceful afternoon the one day I get out of work early?"
"You sure don't look peaceful," Nicky commented. "You look like you need to get f**ked really badly or maybe you just need a drink. We can have one together!"
"You're drinking now?" Gloria looked entirely unimpressed. "I thought you were acting even weirder than usual. What's the occasion?"
"I'm drowning my sorrows," Nicky exclaimed dramatically. She giggled. "First I drowned them with wine...which I know always sounds appealing, but it wasn't. I had to choke the stuff down. But then I had a couple of beers with Alex, and a shot of rye, and a little whiskey. Then I came here."
"Lucky me," Gloria sighed. "Whatever happened to sobriety?"
"Meh, it's overrated," Nicky said casually. "Sometimes you just need to chill...you know? Have something to take the edge off…"
"A glass of wine is taking the edge off," Gloria said moodily. "What you just did is called self-destruction."
"You never get drunk?" Nicky asked.
"I'm not a recovering addict," Gloria pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Recovering," Nicky slurred the word out, enunciating every syllable. "Why can't I just be better?"
"Because there's too much wrong with you," said Gloria.
"You're so mean," Nicky pouted, "why you gotta be so mean? I'm nice to you. I asked you to be my best friend…"
Just then the door opened and in walked in Julio and Benny. "Hey, guys!" Nicky greeted enthusiastically. "I missed you!"
Julio raised his brows at her in question. "Weren't you just here last night?"
"And the night before?" Benny added.
"Never mind that," Nicky waved her hands and shook her head. "We've got a problem... a big one. I need your help."
Julio glanced at his mother who had simply shook her head in irritation. Benny, dropped his book bag near the door. "What do you need?" he asked seriously.
"We need to fix your mom," Nicky explained. She pointed a finger in Gloria's face which Gloria swiped away. "You see," she held her finger up again. "You see this… how mean she is."
"I know," Benny said immediately, earning himself a glare from Gloria. "But that's just her face."
Nicky shook her head no and Benny squinted at her in confusion. "what'd she do to you?" he asked.
"She won't be my friend," Nicky told him, shaking her head rapidly, "she said I'm destroying things."
"I said you're on a path of self-destruction," Gloria retorted. "But if you throw up on anything in here, you better be worried about me destroying you."
"See?" Nicky asked Benny. "I think it's the Latin… and all that hot sauce she puts on her food… so mean."
"Boys," Gloria said tiredly. "Go to room, please." She dismissed them with a wave of her hand. "I'll come get you in a few minutes. Galina will be home soon and she can deal with Nicky then."
Nicky scoffed. "Have you ever thought that maybe this is why your daughters are so upset?" she asked. "Did you just order them to their rooms all the time? The boys are adults-"
"They're my kids," Gloria said firmly. "If you ever have kids, maybe you'll feel differently about exposing them to drunks."
"It's not like your kids are innocent angels that have never drank before," Nicky slurred, "they have. They were drunk here before and Red took care of them. Benny had weed in his pocket-"
"Nicky, stop it!" Gloria said sternly. "We are not talking about them, alright? We're talking about you. You're a grown woman. Why don't you start acting like one?"
"God, cut me a break!" Nicky hissed. "This is the first time… in forever and can you blame me? I just needed a break. It's not like I shot up! Jesus, Don't overreact!"
Gloria glared at her angrily. "You worried about someone overreacting?" she angrily pointed toward the front door, "She's about to walk through these doors any minute and I'm not covering for you. Sink or swim, Nicky, but you're in your thirties. You know better. It's not even…" she looked at her watch. "It's barely 5:30, and you're so wasted I doubt you can even stand properly."
Nicky opened her mouth to respond but got distracted when she heard the sound of the door opening. Red walked in looking tired, her hair damp. It looked as if she had got caught in the rain walking home. "Mommy!" Nicky cried, she jumped up to reach her before Gloria could intervene. She hurried over to the door, and bumped into the lamp on her way. It fell to the floor but Nicky didn't cease.
Before Red had even managed to slip her shoes off, Nicky had thrown herself into her arms, nearly knocking her off balance. "Did you miss me?" she asked girlishly.
"You were here yesterday…" Red said. She glanced over Nicky's shoulder at Gloria, with a look of utter confusion on her face. Gloria walked over to pick up the knocked over lamp. She met Red's gaze and shook her head in exasperation.
"Are you alright?" Red asked, turning her attention back to Nicky.
"I will be once you tell Gloria to stop nagging me," Nicky slurred. She kissed her cheek and laid her head back against her shoulder.
Red stumbled back at the strong scent of alcohol that wafted from Nicky's breath.
"She's being so judgemental," Nicky compalined. "I've had a hard day, Ma."
Gloria shook her head as she met Red's eyes. "And it's about to get harder," she baited the younger woman. "But go ahead. Why don't you tell your mother what you were just telling me. I'm sure she'd love to hear it."
"And maybe you should mind your own business," Nicky turned to look at Gloria.
"Stop it, both of you," Red ordered.
Nicky smirked, "she started it. She wants us to argue, Ma. She even said-"
Oh, give it a rest, Nicky!" Red exclaimed as she rubbed a tired hand over her face. "I can smell the alcohol on you. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that I wanted to get drunk," Nicky said calmly.
"Why?" Red asked worriedly.
"Because life is hard," Nicky sighed. "So very hard...and nobody prepares you for it."
"What are you talking about?" Red asked.
"What does it matter?" Gloria rolled her eyes, "she's completely wasted, Red."
"Some people do their best thinking under the influence," Nicky told them, "because then you don't have any inhibitions stopping you. Alcohol is good for you on occasion."
"Oh," Red nodded her head sarcastically. "Did they teach you that in rehab, Nicky?"
"Or maybe at NYU where you're supposed to be right now?" Gloria added.
"I went to rehab for heroin," Nicky said, as if it mattered, "not for alcohol. So technically, I'm still in the clear and you both can chill out."
"You went to rehab because you're an addict," Red looked distressed. "And you're not supposed to be drinking. It's a slippery slope, Nicky. I thought you were doing alright…"
"Oh god," Nicky took a deep breath. "I would have just gone home to Lorna if I had known you were going to be like this."
"Like what?" Red asked. "Worried about you?"
"You're blowing this way out of proportion," Nicky said. She glanced at Gloria. "And I also lied. I didn't have any whiskey...I almost did, but Alex said she had to get home to Piper."
"So what?" said Gloria indifferently. "You still had wine, a couple of beers, and a shot of rye…"
"Well, look who's keeping score," said Nicky in annoyance.
"Alright," Red held up a hand to silence her. She looked at Nicky with fury etched in every line of her face. "Just, go take a shower Nicky. A long one."
"A cold one," Gloria added.
"Fine," Nicky relented, "but only because I spilled whiskey on myself."
"You just said you didn't have any whiskey," Red said in frustration, but then she shook her head and brought her fist up to her lips. "What the hell happened, Gloria?" she asked. "Why did she do that?"
"Putting the pieces together, I'd say that she and Lorna had a fight of some sort and Nicky went out and got drunk with Alex," Gloria said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"Alex," Red growled, looking angry. "I'm going to have a talk with that girl..."
"It's not her fault," Gloria reminded her. "Nicky makes her own decisions...albeit sometimes very bad ones."
"I wonder what the fight was about," said Red, "maybe I should give Lorna a call."
"Just stay out of it," Gloria pleaded. "It's not really your business. Just wait for her to sober up and then let her deal with it."
"Maybe this is all just too much for her," Red said anxiously. "University, them moving in together, leaving me...that's a lot. What if it's pushing her back towards drugs?"
"At least she picked a different vice this time," Gloria said lightly.
"I'm serious," Red said coldly.
"I know you are, love," said Gloria. "But it's probably just an isolated incident."
"I hope so," said Red. "God, Gloria," she breathed, scraping her hair out of her face. "What are we going to do?" she asked concernedly. She shook her head and ran her hand over her mouth. "I can't let her continue on like this."
"Do you think it will?" Gloria asked. She shrugged carelessly before seating herself on the edge of the sofa. She was suddenly too tired to deal with this. "I don't know Galina…" she said after a brief pause. Her elbows on her knees, she turned her head up to look her in the eyes. "I've never really dealt with these kinds of things," she admitted honestly. "I mean Arturo…" she rolled her eyes. She had even less energy to think about him. "He drank, but he didn't," she shook her head, remembering how volatile he could be. " I don't know."
Red, unaware of Gloria's mental thoughts, scratched distractedly at the inside of her wrist. "She could move back in…" she suggested. "We could-"
Gloria had too keep from rolling her eyes. " Love," she sighed softly. "Galina, where would we put her?" she asked reasonably. "We don't have the room. We barely have the room for the four of us." She pointed at the wall behind her. "We fight over the bathroom, the living room. The only reason no one fights over the kitchen is because without you, we'd all starve to death."
"Then Nicky can sleep in the kitchen," Red said matter-of-factly. She waved away the disapproving look Gloria gave her in response. "But I'm serious, Gloria. We need to figure out something. She's my daughter…" she pleaded. "What would you do if she were yours?
"Well, for starters," Gloria said rationally, "I'd have kicked her ass."
Red rubbed at her temples, and released a breath of frustration. "You're not helping," she complained.
"Honey," Gloria rose to her feet. "She's a grown woman," she said simply. "You can't keep trying to save her. She has to make that choice on her own." She held a hand up before Red could interrupt her. Moving to join her near the entryway of the hallway, she leaned against the doorway. "Now… do I think this is one time thing?" she asked, "Yeah… I do. I don't think we really need to worry."
Red stared at her for a time, mimicking the way she leaned against the doorway. Everything just felt so wrong and out of place. She didn't understand how Gloria wasn't seeing things through her perspective. This wasn't something she could just sweep under the rug, and pretend didn't happen. Nicky's recovery was important to her, and even the tiniest hazards could have the biggest consequences.
"Galina…" Gloria focused her attention downward as she scratched the top of her foot with the other. "I think I'm going to take the boys out for a bit…" she said quietly. She could feel Red's eyes narrow and glare at her and she began to step on her foot painfully. "It's just…I," she shrugged, "I just need some air." It felt like everything at once was suddenly hitting her at full force, and she wanted a minute to catch her breath.
"Yeah," Red scoffed. She shook her head, "okay… if that's what you need."
"Oh, come on," Gloria sighed in frustration as her head rolled back. "I didn't mean it like that."
"Then how did you mean it?" she snapped. "Look if you-" she stopped when she noticed Gloria jump in response. She immediately felt a rush of guilt and held a hand in surrender. "I don't want to argue with you," she said quietly. "It's not your fault."
"It's not your fault either," Gloria whispered softly. Taking a step toward her, she gently took her hand and intertwined their fingers. "I'm not mad at you," she promised. "Nicky is a recovering addict. She's probably going to have slip ups from time to time," she forced herself to smile. "I don't want you to do this on your own. Not when you don't have to." She briefly thought to her daughters, of the conversation she had with Valentina. "It's just been a long day," she whispered, "and I can't be around this right now. I feel like I might be more help to you after I've had a minute. It's just… It's overwhelming"
"You're right…" Red's eyes glazed with sadness and Gloria felt a pang of guilt twist in her heart. "I don't think it's a good idea either," she said honestly. "I don't want the boys seeing Nicky like this and you shouldn't have to deal-"
"No," Gloria cut her off. "That's not what I meant." They stared at one another for a time. Red's eyes fluttering closed as they listened to Nicky curse and fumble around the bathroom. Pulling her close, Gloria wrapped her arms around her tightly. She kissed her temple and exhaled a deep breath against her ear. "I'm not running," she promised. "God knows Benny's given you more than enough reason to run over the few years," she smiled as she felt Red's arms tighten around her.
They could hear Nicky knock something over and the sound of water running as she turned the shower on. Red sighed loudly against her chest. She pulled back slowly, and nodded toward the closed bathroom door. "I should check on her…" she whispered. Gloria's hand wrapped around her chin and she kissed her passionately. Red smiled at her softly as they pulled apart. "Don't stay gone too long…"
"I won't," Gloria reassured her, brushing her lips again. "Take care of her, okay? I'm gonna take them to a movie or something…"
Nodding, Red stepped back and headed into the bathroom to help Nicky. Gloria waited until the door was closed before she collapsed back against the wall. Running her hand through her hair she clenched the top of her roots in irritation. This wasn't how today was supposed to go. Releasing her hair, her hand dropped to her abdomen and she rubbed soothingly at the tension that had coiled tightly within her. The stress from her phone call with Valentina, cumulated with the stress of dealing with Nicky- she was getting too old for this.
Rapping on the closed door of her sons room, she relaxed her head against the cool wood of the door frame, as she waited for them to answer. If she was being honest, she didn't even have the strength to leave the house, but the thought of having to listen to Nicky as she belligerently argued back and forth with Red was something she had even less patience for.
"Hey, guys," she said as Benny opened the door. "Put shoes on, grab a jacket."
"Where are we going?"
She blinked at him numbly. "Did I say we're playing a game of 100-questions, or did I tell you to get dressed?" she asked, cursing herself silently for how angry she sounded. With a shake of her head, she tried to dispel the gloomy cloud that was ghosting over her. "We'll talk about it in the car," she said calmly. "Get dressed."