20. Silent Night
Heedless of her bare feet, Bella stepped onto the frost-crisped pavement and threw her arms around Jasper. He stumbled back, catching her around the waist and lifting her when the cold made her yelp.
"Best surprise ever," she said, kissing his cheek.
"Yeah? Good. I thought—"
"Bella?" The sound of Renee's voice felt like the sudden appearance of a chaperone. "Are you okay?"
Bella groaned. "Oops." Releasing her grip on Jasper's shoulders, she let her body slide down his until her toes met the ground. "Almost forgot about my mom."
"Your mother is here?" he said, laughing as Bella danced from foot to foot.
"After a fashion. Wanna meet her?"
Before he could object, she grabbed his wrist and led him inside. He set his suitcase down with a thunk that made her wonder if he'd packed books instead of clothes.
That could be interesting.
Fighting back the blush that tried to push its way into her cheeks, she tucked that thought away to examine at a later time.
"Ooh," Renee said as they stepped into the view of the webcam. "Who is this?"
"Mom, Jasper," Bella said. "Jasper, this is my mom."
"Hello, Mrs. Dwyer," Jasper said, nodding and waving at the screen.
"Please, call me Renee. Wait, is this the Jasper?"
Jasper's eyebrows shot up. He pressed his lips together, but he couldn't conceal his grin. Bella cracked her knuckles to keep from smacking her palm against her forehead.
"Yeah," she said. "This is him."
"Well, it's nice to finally meet you," Renee said. "I've heard so much about you."
"Likewise," Jasper said. "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I just thought I'd surprise—"
"No, no. Don't worry about it. Bella has watched me cry myself silly over this movie hundreds of times. Missing it once won't hurt. Bella? I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay. Love you."
"I love you, too. Merry Christmas."
"So," Jasper said once Renee disconnected the Skype call. "The Jasper, huh?"
"Oh, hush." Bella let her foot swing through the air as if to kick his shin, stopping just short of the target.
Chuckling, he ghosted his fingertips over her knuckles. "If my mother was still alive, I'm sure she'd ask if you were the Bella."
"Somehow, I don't think she'd be all that pleased when the answer was yes."
"Ah, no. Probably not. But hey, Esme loves you. Not that I've ever really thought of her as my mom. I mean, I'm old enough to be her grandpa."
"True. You are pretty ancient."
"Hey!"
She squirmed away from his attempt to pinch her side, which only served to give away the secret of her most ticklish spot. Collapsing onto the couch in a heap of laughter, she wrapped her arms around herself to guard against future attacks.
"Was Esme disappointed?" she asked as he flopped onto the cushion next to her. "That you aren't going to be there for Christmas, I mean."
"Nah. We had an early celebration yesterday." Frowning, he glanced at his watch. "No, day before yesterday, now. I left Sea-Tac 22 hours ago."
"Ugh, you must be exhausted. You're staying here, right? Gemma's gone, so there's more than enough room."
One corner of his lips quirked up. "If you're sure it won't be any trouble, I'd love to stay."
"Good. Saves me some effort. I won't have to tie you to a chair to keep you here, then."
The twitch of his cheek revealed his struggle to keep a straight face as he said, "Maybe later."
It took every shred of Bella's self-control to swallow the giggles that fluttered around in her chest. "Oh, fine," she said. "The safe-word is curmudgeon."
"Is that another crack about my age?"
"Pfft, of course not. Would I do that? I just think it's a funny word. Anyway, do you want some tea or anything?"
"Hmm, it took you almost five minutes to offer me tea. Guess you haven't gone completely native yet." Jasper smiled. "I'd love some, thanks."
Once Bella was in the kitchen, she dug her phone out of her pocket, scrolled through her contacts list, and called Gemma.
"Hi!" Gemma said. "Does this mean you've changed your mind about spending Christmas getting drunk with me and my aunt Cathy?"
"Err, no. Jasper is here." Bella paused, scowling as she heard a car's horn over the rush of water filling the kettle. "Are you driving?"
"No, Mum. I'm stuck in traffic. There was an accident or something. And what do you mean Jasper is there?"
"He just showed up to surprise me. Is it okay if he sleeps in your bed?"
"Without me there? Absolutely not."
Bella laughed. "Gemma!"
"All right, fine. He can borrow my bed, but I'm exchanging your present for coal."
"Why?"
"Not only did you refuse to suffer through my family with me, you aren't sharing your bed with Jasper. That sort of behavior gets you put on the naughty list."
Bella rolled her eyes, returning the kettle to its base and flipping the switch. "I'll keep that in mind for next year."
"As you should."
"I should get back to it. I'm making tea, and I can hardly hear you over the kettle."
"Okay, have fun. Happy Christmas!"
By the time Bella returned to the living room with two big mugs full of milky tea, she found Jasper with a half-eaten Christmas cookie in one hand and his phone in the other.
"Es?" he said, mouthing his thanks to Bella when she set his drink on the coffee table. "Sorry, I thought I was calling Emmett... Oh... Really? Aw, hell... Nah, I was just calling to say I arrived in one piece... She was, yeah... All right, you too. Bye."
"Everything okay?" Bella said.
"Yeah. Jenks — our lawyer — just showed up with an early Christmas gift for Rosalie and Emmett. Baby clothes and toys from Alice. A letter, too. I guess Emmett is hiding out in his room so no one can see him cry."
Bella's heart clenched. She could just picture Emmett sniffling and claiming he had something in his eye as he read Alice's words. Resting her head on Jasper's shoulder, she nibbled the antlers of a reindeer-shaped cookie.
If she'd already received her last letter from Alice, what did that mean for her future? Were no milestones waiting for her, or did Alice simply not know when they would happen? She'd had so many futures to consider.
Did Bella even want those milestones?
Jasper's arm wrapped around her, chasing away the cold. Bella smiled. Leaning into the embrace, she banished all wishes for a functional crystal ball.
"I'm glad you're here," she said.
"Me too."
-oOo-
A strangled cry wove through Bella's dreams, bruising her vision of a sunlit expanse of beach and streaking it with black. Gasping, she sat up. The familiar sight of her bedroom didn't slow the thudding of her heart.
"No."
There. There it was again. Throwing back the quilt, she sprang to her feet and ran to Gemma's room.
"Jasper?" she said, tiptoeing toward the bed. Gemma's thin curtains let in the yellow glow of the streetlight, allowing her to make out the contours of his face and the rapid rise and fall of his chest. He woke with a start when she shook his arm, his wide eyes searching the semidarkness. Upon seeing her, he let out a long sigh.
"Hey, it's just me," she said. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Sorry. Go back to bed."
Instead of saying good night and retreating to her room, Bella crawled beneath Gemma's duvet. Jasper made no objections as she rested her head next to his, sharing his pillow. His hand ran a slow circuit from her shoulder to her waist. On the third pass, he grabbed her hip and tugged her closer, until their foreheads touched and she could feel the warmth of him through her pajamas, along the entire length of her body.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered.
"Not really."
"You sure? I promise I won't make fun of you. I once had a recurring nightmare about a guy in a pink bunny suit, so I have no room to judge."
He snorted. "Did you really?"
"Well, no, but I was trying to make you feel better."
With a quiet laugh, he moved the arm that was wedged between them so that his fingers rested against the pulse point on her neck. His breathing evened out, slowing to keep time with hers. Rough skin brushed against her lower lip: his thumb, tracing the curve of her mouth.
Jasper inched closer. A swooping sensation in Bella's stomach seemed to propel her hand, making it settle over his cheek. Their breath mingled — closer than they'd ever been. The possibility of his lips touching hers hovered in the air, ready to change everything. The slightest move from either of them would make it happen.
Just as she allowed her eyelids to flutter shut, he backed away. Want filtered in with the loss of his warmth — heavy and sharp.
Bella tried to laugh it off, but he stopped her with the gentlest of kisses pressed to her cheek, near the corner of her mouth.
"Night," he said.
A request to discuss what had almost happened poised on her tongue, but when she opened her mouth, all that came out was, "Good night."
-oOo-
Shivering, Jasper rubbed his bleary eyes. Less than a foot away, Bella lay rolled up in the bright pink bedclothes like a human burrito, claiming all of the covers for herself and blocking his route to the bathroom. Springs squeaked and groaned under his weight at the mere thought of moving. Gritting his teeth, he strained to force his weak human body to forget that it was morning and that he'd spent the night next to Bella.
His imagination provided a vision of her opening her eyes, straddling his lap, and trailing kisses down his chest. God, it'd been so long since anyone touched him like that. If his life was more like a porno and she woke up wanting him, how long would he even last? What would sex be like without the aid of his gift? Would he be able to make her—
Okay. Those thoughts were not helping.
Rifling through his mind for unsexy images, he settled on Edward's likely reaction to his current fantasies. Perfect. Like a virtual cold shower. Even more effective was the thought of the talk Jasper would need to have with his brother if the almost-kiss with Bella wasn't a fluke.
That wouldn't be fun for anyone. Ever so slowly, his body calmed.
Bella shifted, batting at the covers until they bunched around her waist. Propping himself up on one elbow, Jasper let out a breath of laughter. The faded text on her oversized green t-shirt read, "Get horny."
Get horny?
He squinted at the stylized drawing next to the words. Ah, of course. Her school mascot during her undergrad years had been a Viking. It was supposed to be a horned helmet.
Wriggling closer, she reached an arm toward him and murmured something that got muffled by her pillow. Jasper ducked his head and kissed her fingertips: a silent apology for the contents of his dreams.
The nightmares didn't come often, but when they did, they always trapped him in his former body, made him a prisoner of newborn bloodlust. Foolish versions of Bella, Alice, and his family ignored his whisper-shouted warnings and came too close. He fought against it, clinging to grass that dissolved beneath his fingers, but the pull was too strong. His teeth always found their mark.
Out of all of the monsters he'd known during his long life, the only one who seemed to scare him was himself. Freud would've had a field day dissecting that.
Without warning, Bella opened her eyes. Jasper's face heated. Directing his gaze at the wall opposite the bed, he tried to pretend he hadn't been staring at her.
"Sorry," she said with a giggle. "I'm a bit of a cover hog."
Before he could respond, Bella-scented fabric draped over his body. As she covered him with the blankets, she snuggled up to his chest, her skin sleep-warmed and soft. When he rested a palm on the curve of her hip, her timid smile brightened into a grin.
"Hey," she said. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas."