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"You okay?" He asks as he nudges Andy's shoulder. The two of them have been lying in bed for the past ten minutes and while she normally talks his ear off during this time of night, she's basically been silent ever since they got under the covers.
"Yeah," she nods. "Just a weird day," she adds.
He nods his head in understanding while allowing his fingers to skim up and down her arm. "You wanna talk about it?" He wonders.
"I don't know," she says as she blows out a breath. "It's just that… running into my mother… it's the last thing I ever expected to happen... I guess, I'm still a little stunned," she adds.
"That's understandable," he replies as he pulls her closer.
"Yeah, I mean… she's back in Toronto and she doesn't even bother reaching out?" Andy continues. "What is wrong with me that my own mother, someone who is supposed to love me unconditionally, doesn't care enough to make a simple phone call to let me know that she's back in town?" Andy questions.
"Hey," he says, in an attempt to grab her attention. "Nothing is wrong with you. Something's wrong with her," he declares.
"Yeah," she says with a nod of her head, although he's fairly certain that she's not quite convinced. He's about to make more of an effort to persuade her when she opens her mouth to say something else. "You know… she told me that after she left, she called the house every Sunday, but my dad wouldn't let her talk to me," she informs Sam. "I wonder how long it took for her to finally give up," she muses. "Probably not that long," she adds after letting out a breath. "I mean, that's crazy, right? Her only attempt to see me was to call the house once a week? She could've stopped by, she could've fought for visitation… instead, she willingly gave my dad sole custody in the divorce and never even tried to get visitation… I just don't understand how a mother could that," Andy says with a shake of her head.
"I don't know, Andy," he replies as he runs his hand up and down her back.
"I told her I'd have coffee with her," she blurts out a moment later.
"Oh yeah?" Sam asks, trying not to let his own feelings about her decision show.
"Yeah… do you think that's stupid?" She asks as she tilts her chin to look up at him.
"No… if that's what you want to do, then it's not stupid," he tells her.
"Really?" She probes.
"Really," he confirms. "Andy, whatever you want to do… you know, I'll support you," he assures her. "I just want you be careful," he adds because, he just has to.
"I know… I will," she promises before leaning in and giving him a kiss.
And when she pulls away, he can tell by the look on her face that she's got something else on her mind. He's just about to ask, when she decides to tell him on her own.
"You know… I actually remember a time when my parents were happy," she muses. "I still have all of these images in my head of the two of them, from when I was younger… they seemed so in love back then… I'm not sure what happened, but slowly they just started being less and less happy… and then, one day, my mom just up and left," she explains. "It's crazy how that can happen, you know?" She asks as she starts to draw patterns on his chest.
"Yeah," he agrees with a nod.
"Will you promise me something?" She requests after the room is doused in silence for way too long.
"Anything," he guarantees.
"If… if things start to go south with us… if someday, we aren't as happy as we are now… let's promise that we won't just bail… we'll talk it out and we'll work on it… let's agree that we won't just give up on each other," she proposes.
"You're not getting rid of me without a fight," he vows as he tightens his grip on her and kisses her forehead.
"Promise?" She asks.
He shoots her a small smile before pulling her on top of him so they are face to face. "I promise," he assures her as his eyes bore into hers, ensuring that she couldn't possibly doubt his words. "I love you… and I really can't see that changing," he tells her as he pushes a lock of hair behind her hair.
She grins at him and leans a little bit closer. "Me too and… me either," she says before closing the distance between them and pressing her lips against his.
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"Oh my God," she exclaims as she reads the sheet of paper in her hand. "You can't be serious," she adds as she finally looks up and meets his eyes with a noticeable scowl on her face.
"Andy… just… just let me explain," he pleads.
"How?" She asks. "How are you going to explain this?" She asks as she waves the piece of paper around.
Sam releases a breath and is about to open his mouth when Andy starts up again.
"Sam, you lied to me! You said you'd support me if I wanted to work things out with my mother," she reminds him.
"I will support you," he counters.
"This is you supporting me?" She asks, incredulously. "Running a background check on her behind my back is you being supportive? Really?" she asks.
"Andy…" he begins, but she quickly interrupts him.
"How could you do that? I thought our relationship was built on honesty and… and trust… but apparently I was wrong… apparently we keep secrets and lie to each other," she spits back.
"Andy, c'mon," he pleads. "She just showed up one day, completely out of the blue… I was just… I was doing my due diligence," he reasons.
"Seriously? Your due diligence? That's what you're going with?" She asks, in amazement.
"Actually… yes," he confirms.
"Sam, how am I supposed to be with someone who doesn't trust my judgment? Who sneaks around and does stuff like this behind my back? People in open, honest relationships don't do that!" She exclaims.
And yeah, he's definitely taken back by the comment. It's the first time she's ever expressed any sort of doubt in him or their relationship and the fact that she's questioning whether she can be with him is making his heart race and his stomach churn and he just has no idea how to make any of this better.
"Andy, I'm sorry, okay?" he apologizes. "I really am," he adds.
"Sam, I just… I can't right now," she tells him with a wave of her hand before she turns around and starts to walk away.
And honestly, he's too stunned to even call after her.
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He's pretty sure he doesn't sleep for more than an hour that night. He spends the entire evening tossing and turning, hoping that he hasn't completely fucked everything up between them. They've had the occasional fight before, but never anything like this and it's really freaking him out. He just keeps replaying her words over and over again in his head, torturing himself over the doubt she's feeling. He just… he can't lose her.
So yeah, when he wakes up that morning, he thinks about calling her. The things is, he tried calling her a couple times last night and she never answered and he really doesn't want to give her a chance to ignore him again.
So, that's when he decides he's just going to head over there and force her to talk all of this out.
He drives at least fifteen miles over the speed limit the entire way there, but he just needs to see her. He needs to fix this and he can't wait.
And as he knocks on her front door and listens to her footsteps getting closer, his heartrate starts to pick up and his stomach is suddenly tied up in knots. The fact that he has no idea where this conversation will go is honestly scaring the shit out of him.
Then suddenly, she opens the door and she doesn't look surprised to see him, but she doesn't look too thrilled to find him here, either.
"Hi," she greets him with little emotion.
"Hey… can we talk?" He requests.
She thinks about it for a moment, but eventually she nods her head and gestures for him to come inside. Once she closes the door behind him, he turns to face her and prepares himself for what's to come.
"Andy… Look, of course I trust your judgment. I just wanted to make sure you had all of the information, you know? I mean, all of a sudden she just appears in your life and… and I'm worried… I really don't want you to get hurt again," he tells her. "But I am sorry I didn't tell you what I was doing… but I do want you to know that I would have. I was going to tell you, I promise... And look, I do realize that I went about it in the absolute wrong way," he acknowledges. "It's just that… I love you and I really hate when you're hurting… and I know how much pain she caused when she left and the last thing I want is for her to break your heart again," he explains as he attempts to very slowly ease his way closer to her.
Her face has softened a bit and it's allowing him to relax a little. "I know," she replies. "Just… I really don't want to be in the type of relationship where we keep secrets… so can we please not hide things from each other?" She asks. "I mean, Sam, you're allowed to tell me your opinion… you're allowed to tell me what you're thinking… even if I might disagree, even if you think it's not what I want to hear… I still want you to tell me okay?" She insists. "So please… next time, just talk to me," she implores. "Then we could've avoided all of this," she adds.
He lets out a breath and he is just beyond relieved. "I know, I will, I promise," he tells her. "I'm sorry," he adds as he runs his hands up and down her arms.
"It's okay," she assures him. "And look, I'm well aware that this could completely blow up in my face, okay? I know she could disappear on me again. I know I could get hurt again. I know," she tells him. "But I just… I really need your support right now… and if it does blow up in my face and I do get hurt again… well, I'll just need you to be there for me then, too."
"I can do that," he promises.
"Okay," she says with a smile. "Thank you."
"So… we're okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, of course we are," she confirms with a nod.
"Okay, good… I… I wasn't sure," he admits.
She tilts her head back to look at him and furrows her brows. "What do you mean?" She wonders.
"With the way we left things yesterday… everything you said… it seemed like you were having doubts about us," he explains.
"Sam, no, I wasn't having doubts, I was just…" she begins before she stops and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I left like that… I was upset and I didn't want to say something I'd regret… and I just needed some time to process everything, but... I mean… I was never going to end things if that's what you were thinking," she responds.
"Yeah, it crossed my mind," he tells her.
"Well, it didn't cross mine," she assures him. "I just don't want to feel like we're hiding things from each other, you know?" She asks and waits for him to nod his head. "But I knew we'd work through it… we promised to fight through this stuff, remember?" She says as she wraps her arms around his neck.
"Yeah," he replies as his hands land on her waist.
"I'm sorry I freaked you out," she apologizes. "If you're ever worried about that kind of thing… don't be, okay? I love you and I'm not giving up on us that easily," she tells him.
"Okay," he says as he pulls her closer and presses his forehead against hers. "I love you."
"Love you too," she whispers before standing up on her toes to give him a kiss.
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