The next day, the three wizards had another argument about whether to give Hermione her memories of the final battle or not. They were even more violent than the memory of Bellatrix Lestrange which had given her nightmares the previous night, if less… up close and personal.

"I don't know why you even bother discussing what's better for me or not anymore," Hermione said, putting a stop to their bickering. "It's not like I'm going to let you decide for me. I know you did before, and I'm grateful, I really am, but I can take care of myself now."

"But-" Draco tried.

"No," Hermione said, her finger raised in warning.

"I am your healer," Draco pouted, losing all credibility he might have had up to that point. "Unless… You're not going to consult another healer when we get back home, are you?" And this time, he whined like a spurned lover, and not at all like the medical expert he claimed to be.

"No, Pretty," Hermione chuckled. "I promise not to medically cheat on you. But you still can't decide for me. I have and will continue to take your opinion into account though."

"Oh," Draco said. "So…"

"Yes, I want all the memories, all… my memories. Yes, even that one," she said with a wrinkled nose, as she did every time Dumbledore was mentioned or even alluded to. "I still don't agree with the old coot's methods, but I think I need to see it to understand his motives better. I want to be her… me again, or as close as I can possibly be. I owe it to her, I think. Or to myself. I'm still a bit muddled up about who I am exactly, or who I'm supposed to be..."

"Nobody is pushing you either way," Severus promised, although he knew he should not speak for most of her brash Gryffindor acquaintances who would probably put their large opiniated feet in their mouth within two minutes of speaking to her. "Just be who you're comfortable being and let the rest of the world adjust to it."

"Wow, Uncle Sev," Draco drawled in such a tone that Severus knew that whatever came out next would not be a compliment in any way. "I never knew there was a Hufflepuff hidden under all those layers of Slytherin. He's right, though," he added turning to Hermione. "You've done your fair share of the work to get to where you are today, let others meet you halfway and if they're not happy, I'm sure Viktor would gladly send them a map to Count Dracul's castle to keep Skeeter company."

"It vould indeed be my pleasure. Do not vorry too much, Hermy-own-ninny. You did not have many friends, but those you had vere very steadfast in their friendship."

"Was that a compliment?" Draco whispered while Krum continued by naming those friends on his fingers.

"I'm not sure. I think that friends to them does not mean the same as friends to us Slytherins. But he has a point. We'll have to be careful to introduce her slowly to her old acquaintances. I just hope Minerva or Mrs Weasley did not get it in their head to do something as asinine as throwing her a big welcome back party upon our return."

"Urgh, Gryffindors," Draco lamented. "I can just see how that disaster would end. Fortunately, we still have a few days before we get to that. Unfortunately, we'll be busy cramming Hermione's head full of bad memories."

"We can tell her about the victory that followed though," Severus said half-heartedly.

Draco nodded but didn't comment. The final victory over Voldemort and his Death-Eaters had been a bitter one. Too many dead, too many injured, too much loss and suffering. The fallout for people like him and the Malfoys who'd been sitting on the fence or changed allegiance at the end was pretty bad too. Severus had been shielded from the worse of it since he'd been sent to recover at St Mungos instead of being processed like a war criminal, as Draco had. But there had been no celebrations, no fireworks or flurries of owls to spread the cheer and good news like there had been at the end of the First War. It hadn't been a victory, it had just been an end.

Giving Hermione those last memories would probably bring an end to her lighthearted nature too. Watching her as she laughed with Krum, her face free of worry and grief save for the visible scar that slashed across it, he couldn't help but feel it was a shame, but she'd made up her mind, so mote it be.

They started with the missing piece of Dumbledore's funeral and she remained stone-faced, telling them they could go on with the next. She had witnessed most of the Battle before she was lost to the Forbidden Forest. She had watched an army of magical creatures and dark wizards and witches gather in front of her. Had felt the fear. She had seen classmates, friends and teachers die horrible deaths. Had felt the grief. She had narrowly avoided the same fate several times. She was as courageous now as she was then and wouldn't hear of taking a break, but Severus could swear he was saw lines of sorrow carve into her skin as they spoke which hadn't been there before. She suddenly looked older, more stern and foreboding.

She said she was fine and Draco confirmed with several diagnostic spells that nothing was amiss, yet, he hesitated when Krum handed him the next memory and Severus understood why when he saw the number written on the vial: 38.

"Hermione," Draco said with the soothing voice he used whenever he was being a healer. "Are you sure you don't want to continue tomorrow?"

Hermione looked at him then at the small chest they had been keeping her memories in, before shaking her head.

"Don't be silly. We're almost finished. I'd rather have this over and done with, tiphen I'll be as much of myself as I can possibly be. I won't… change again after you give me those memories."

Draco sighed in defeat so Severus took over.

"There's no rush. We'll still have a couple of days before Viktor's cousin arrives."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"What's in that next memory that you don't want me to see?"

"Nagini," Draco said in a whisper.

He'd always been terrified by that enormous snake and he'd had to live under the same roof.

"So? I've seen her before."

True enough and what a disturbing memory that had been.

"It's when she almost killed me," Severus said, unable to stop his hand from going to his throat as if he was still trying to keep the blood from pouring out of his veins.

"I…" Hermione looked about to protest but suddenly deflated. Her spine which had been ramrod straight and her jaw which had been clenched since they started this session both seemed to give way at all he same time and she fell back limply in the cushions. "Alright. I actually think I'm at my limit. I really would have liked it better if it was finally over but-"

"You don't have to justify yourself," Draco cut in and turned away to put vial number 38 back in the padded chest which Krum gently closed and put away for the night.

"I'm not very hungry," Hermione said and excused herself to an early night.

"Think she vill be okay?" Krum asked and Draco shrugged.

"I don't see why not. She's managed so far, but I'm guessing she will have nightmares tonight."

Dinner was a silent affair since it was difficult to hold a light hearted or polite conversation while one of their numbers was processing a whole war on her own upstairs. They'd had years to come to terms with it and they still felt it weighing heavily on their shoulders now and then.

When they went upstairs to check on Hermione, they found her in Severus' bed. It was probably a way to comfort herself, like she had done when she had sought refuge in Harry's room, but the younger wizards suddenly made themselves scarce. Not that he minded. If he couldn't take care of her on his own, then he didn't deserve to be a Head of House or even a teacher. Or her.

She had snuggled under the blanket and into his pillow. Gently pushing her curls aside, he could see she was asleep but had been crying before that, her face still a bit blotchy and her eyes puffy. Only to be expected but guilt continued to gnaw at him for putting her through it all. Not that she didn't want to, but he never tried to stop her either.

Severus lay next to her and watched her sleep for a while but he could see her subconscious digesting the memories as surely as if he could read her mind. She woke with a start and a silent gasp and her face crumbled when she lay eyes on him. Without a word, she threw herself into his open arms and fell asleep between muffled sobs while he stroked her back and routinely got rid of her curls that insisted on latching onto his fingers at the first opportunity.

Thankfully, he had never needed much sleep and was up before one of the boys could come snooping into his room and tease him about Hermione. He had quite enough of that already and was just plain lucky the witch didn't get annoyed by all the needling. She herself must have gotten up with the sun because the sheets next to him were already cold. He got out of bed and changed robes, not that anyone would notice because they were all black with too many buttons to count.

He found Hermione in the middle of the sofa with the memory-chest open on her knees.

"Hermione?" he called cautiously so as not to startled her.

She looked up, didn't appear as terrible as last night, but didn't look like his savage bare-foot either. That seemed like a lifetime ago now. She literally wasn't barefoot anymore, wearing instead ankle high leather boots that most witches wore. A gift from "Vikki", no doubt.

"Can you tell me about it?"she asked, her ginger playing with one of the vials. "I was thinking the memory might not be as terrible if you tell me what happened first so I'll know what to expect."

Severus cocked his head to the side in thought. It was a good theory, one Draco would probably like to try out. He didn't see how it could hurt anyway, except that he didn't like to talk about it himself. Just thinking about that moment, the jagged scar at his neck seemed to burn with the poison and blood. He gulped and nodded before taking a seat next to her.

"It was near the end of the battle on the grounds. Voldemort wasn't satisfied with how his wand, the elder wand, was working, so he summoned me. I didn't really have a choice so I went. I realized too late that he intended to get rid of me," he chuckled mirthlessly at his own idiocy. "I tried to get away. I think you might have been there already so you'll see how very pitiful I was. Begging…" he spat. "Promising to bring him Harry. I wouldn't have, of course, but I had to see him, to give him a message from Dumbledore. It was vital he'd said, so I thought we were going to lose the war because of my idiocy. But Voldemort wouldn't even kill me himself. He set his pet on me, like I was nothing but an annoying rodent, worthless…"

Hermione squeezed his hand. He was used to having someone care for him. Minerva and Poppy were there when he needed to vent, but he'd never told anyone about this. He undid his high stiff collar to show her all of his scar, so she'd know it was past, that he was fine now.

"Nagini sank her fangs in my neck. The pain was awful, but I couldn't let myself fall unconscious. I could feel her poison burning through my veins and that pain was just as bad. Voldemort didn't even stay to make sure I was dead, which was a good thing because it gave me enough time to take an antivenom and a blood replenishing potion before you came. I have no earthly idea where you'd been hiding, but suddenly you were there. Harry… I remember his eyes. You were there too, you helped Harry gather… my message. You wanted to help me, I think, but there was no time and you were gone. I suppose Weasley was there as well. I don't remember it though. Honestly, all the rest is a bit of a blur to me but I managed to give Dumbledore's message. I'd done my part so I stopped fighting. Next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed, unsure whether I should be relieved or not."

They sat in silence for a while and he realized their hands were linked. It felt good, warm and grounding, unlike anything he'd felt before and yet it was so simple.

"Why?" Hermione asked in a whisper.

Severus huffed. So many reasons in truth, not all of them noble unfortunately, but that's who he was and he had no intention of hiding that to Hermione if she wanted to persist in this path and believe that there could be an "us" between them.

"I never thought I would live to see the outcome of the war. I thought for sure one side would kill me if the other didn't so when I woke up, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I'd fulfilled my mission, kept my promise… to be honest, I never planned further than that and I had no desire to face the consequences. I might have run and hid for the rest of my miserable life if I'd been in any shape to do so but I was still bleeding out from that damned bite and my wand had been taken away then, Saint Potter arrived."

Severus rolled his eyes at the memory of Harry Potter walking into his hospital room, looking for all the world like he was happy to see him. Hermione made a sound that sounded suspiciously like a giggle she'd tried to muffle.

"He told me I was free. That he'd testified and given proof that I'd been working under Dumbledore's orders all along. Free," he scoffed. "You have no idea how foreign that concept was to me. I ended up back at Hogwarts teaching because I had no idea what else to do. I had nothing to live for..."

Severus trailed off. That had been true until recently, until someone saved his life in the Forbidden Forest. Since that fateful night, he'd had a new goal in his life, even if it had changed multiple time in the last few weeks: find the bare-foot, find who had harmed Hermione, go vampire hunting, assist in healing her mind… she was always at the center of it, had become a friend, wanted to be more than a friend, although he still doubted the wisdom of that decision, it was becoming more and more difficult not to encourage it.

"What about now?" she asked, voice a low rumble that made his skin tingle.

Severus had to shake off the ideas going through his head. Too soon. Draco hadn't given her the all clear yet.

"Now I have time. I can wait."

"You've got to be the most annoyingly patient man on Earth," she huffed and set the small memory-chest aside.

"I've always been told patience is a virtue."

"Not when it's in my way."

Severus watched warily as her hand hovered closer, still hesitant whether he should just let her have her way with him and stop being such a… Gryffindor about it, or stop her. Her fingers carefully folded his collar down, grazing his skin in the process and that smallest of contacts was enough to send a goosebumps coursing down his spine. It had actually been easier to deal with her when she just jumped on him. All this anticipation was killing him.

Warm fingertips followed the jagged line of his scar, curling all the way around to the back of his neck and she leaned closer, pressing her body against his and he still had no fucking clue of what he should do.

He wanted more, he wanted to wait.

She pressed her lips to his throat, depositing a kiss to his pulse point as if kissing life itself, then withdrew and it took him a moment to realize they weren't alone anymore.

Severus buttoned his collar all the way up and refused to look flustered in front of Draco or he wouldn't let him live it down.

"Good morning, Pretty!" she chirped. "We're trying something new."

Severus almost choked at her words.

"Obviously," Draco replied with a sly grin. "Although I doubt I want to hear the details."

"Really? We thought you'd want to take notes," she deadpanned and Merlin, she was good. Draco's teasing turned against him.

"What? No!" he exclaimed with a blush.

Severus sighed.

"She means by that we discussed the next memory in detail before we're to return it to where it belongs, you twat. Please get your mind out of the gutter before your drown in it."

Hermione snickered while Draco huffed, but he tried to regain the upper hand by ordering them about for the next, and final, memory restauration séance. It seemed talking about the memory beforehand did help alleviate the shock of experiencing it again for the first time as Hermione didn't react nearly as badly to Severus' apparent death as she had to her setting fire to his robes for example. A bit obvious, in hindsight, and Draco wondered about using a pensive to see the memory from a distance as another alternative, but as they didn't have one here and they were rather rare and expensive to come by, he just made a note of it for future experimentation and they talked about the last two memories left in the chest with Hermione before replacing them in her mind.

Severus didn't know why he'd been expecting something special to happen once they'd given her back all her memories. Maybe because something always did when he accomplished the last steps of a potion. But he should have known better. After all, they hadn't managed to rescue all of Hermione's memories. Some had been eaten long ago by the vampire, others had been destroyed after his capture, devoured by the creature when he realized that they were stealing them back from him. So there would always be holes in her mind, the process would remain incomplete. Yet, both he and Draco stared at her expectantly after she opened her eyes. No doubt Krum would have too if he hadn't left to do some errands again.

"Well…" she said. "I guess this is as close to my old self as I'm going to get."

Draco scribbled in his notebook, then asked her a thousand and one questions and once he was done, he used a myriad diagnostic spells and gave her a schedule of mandatory check-ups for the next few months to come. Severus wondered if he wasn't overdoing it. Not that he was going to complain, mind, because he felt as responsible for her now as he did when he had dragged her out of the forest, and what they had done was rather experimental so if something did go wrong… he didn't like to think about it.

"So I'm cleared?" she asked Draco. "I'm as healthy and whole as I'm ever going to get, right?"

"Yes, if that's how you want to put it."

"Hear that, Severus?" she asked with a voice that should not be used in public. "My healer cleared me."

"Ugh," Draco cut in, leaving Severus enough time to gather his wits. "I did not need to hear that. I'm leaving before you start… unbuttoning again."

"Hermione," Severus scolded but his heart wasn't really in it.

He had said that he wanted to wait until she was cleared, and so she was, but he was still not sure they should tread this path.

"Severus?" she asked, moving out of her chair towards him. "What is it?"

"I'm… not sure this is best for you. I- Frankly, I'm astonished you still want this. Me. I thought that once you knew everything…"

"What? That I'd change my mind?" she scoffed. "I know what I want. Just because I lacked the words didn't mean I didn't know before. I want you, Severus and I wish you'd stop being so hesitant about it."

"It's for your own good," he said and took note of the spark of anger in her eyes, continuing rapidly before she could get really mad at his poor choice of words. "What I mean is that you were barely an adult when you disappeared and you're still young. I know what it is to make poor choices at that age out of impulse or too little information and I don't want you to have regrets. I don't want to be that regret."

Her face softened and she took his hands.

"You won't be," she said, looking into his eyes.

"You can't know that. It won't be easy. Us. People won't approve, for so many valid reasons they won't even need to make them up."

"People are idiots. I don't care about them or what they think. What I do care about is how much time we have before we are interrupted again."

Severus couldn't help it, he chuckled and felt a weight lift off his shoulders. Apparently, Hermione wouldn't be deterred so easily. She really wanted this, him.

"If it's any consolation, Draco won't be back any time soon. He's probably miles away, bleaching his eyes out or something."

"Which just leaves Vikki. I think we should relocate," she said and pulled him by the sleeve.

Upstairs. There was no doubt she was leading him to a bedroom. His bedroom, or theirs, since they'd shared it more often than not. She closed the door, locked it and turned to look at him with a playful grin. Severus was almost scared of how carefree she was, while he was nearly paralysed by his insecurities. Which was strange because from all her memories he'd seen, she didn't seem to be particularly experienced in this aspect. Neither was he, but she didn't know that and he'd thought they would be on equal footing, but the way she'd dragged him into the bedroom, the way she was advancing on him and looking at him… She had never looked so much like a predator than she did now and Severus wasn't really enjoying being the prey in this scenario.

"We won't do anything you're not comfortable with," she said soothingly and he had a feeling he should be the one make such reassurances to her, not the other way around.

"How are you so comfortable with this?" he replied with a vague gesture at the locked door, the bed behind them and her in general. He was just glad his voice sounded steady so he didn't make a complete fool of himself, but she obviously knew this wasn't exactly his area of expertise.

"Animals and creatures in the Forest don't make such a fuss about mating," she said offhandedly and shrugged. "I watched."

Severus choked on his surprise, but...yes, that made sense from her perspective. The more civilized she became, the more he forgot she had been a wild savage creature herself and always would be, in part. So of course such a natural ritual wouldn't faze her. He had no such luck however. There was a reason he hid behind so many layers of clothing and buttons.