Warning: This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

A bit about Roxas

"You might wanna go after him."

I was going to rip Hayner's throat out and write my next essay in his blood.

"Axel?" the little blonde slimeball said, poking me in the shoulder. "The guy we both like just stormed off looking like he was gonna cry. Are you going after him, or should I?"
"You fucking dare," I growled, grabbing his wrist so hard that I felt something click, "and I will massacre every last person you care about... with the exception of Roxas, obviously."

Hayner gulped and nodded. Fucking pussy, if he actually liked Roxas he would be sticking up to me, at least a little bit.

"Any idea where he might have gone?" I asked, looking down the corridor like it was more likely to tell me the truth than Hayner was, which, let's face it, was true.

"Probably into the bathroom, or, I dunno, maybe a lesson." Hayner shrugged. "You'll find him, don't worry."

It was like he barely cared that Roxas was so upset.

I sped along the corridor, noticing Demyx eyeing me nervously as he went into Luxord's classroom. Stupid fucking manwhore, I was still extremely pissed at him for being a dick in every way it is possible to be a dick – kissing my Roxas, not telling me, using Henna of all fucking things to try and worm his way out of trouble... Really, he was such a dick. I was sick of it.

"Roxas?" I called. "Roxas?"

"He just went into there," said a helpful voice. I turned and saw Selphie and Kairi, hand in hand, with Selphie pointing to the nurse's office. "He said he had a headache and really wanted to go home."

"Thanks, girls. Nice to see you're not fighting any more, I have to say. You're really cute together."

They both smiled at each other. I didn't really mean a word of it, but it's always good to stay on the right side of girls like Kairi and Selphie because they have a finger in everyone's pie.

They smiled at each other and then at me, and Kairi chirped, "Good luck with Roxas, you'll do great."

How could she know? I mean, it was really really obvious... but still, how could she know?

"Thanks," I muttered, taking a deep, much-needed breath and turning towards the nurse's office. "See you two around."

They nodded, walking away perfectly in step, and I decided that if – when Roxas and I were a couple, we wouldn't be that creepy and in sync and just plain unnatural.

"Roxas? You in here?" I swallowed. "Roxas?"

"Leave." He looked at me through his fringe, a small white plastic cup in his left hand, probably holding some kind of painkiller.

"Roxas..."

"I don't need you fucking with my head any more, Axel, and I especially don't need you getting angry at me for stuff that Hayner did." He tipped his head back and took the medicine, pulling a face at what had to be an ugly, bitter taste. "I told you not to follow me. Just leave."

"Roxas, I'm sorry, I just... I've had a shit day, you know, Demyx was a dick this morning and I was going to skip school but I wanted to see you, and I'm gonna get into shit with Maleficent for yelling at Demyx on the bus... but I wanted to see you." My mind was pretty hazy and I could only really focus on one thing at a time. "I wanted to see you," I repeated, a little softer.

"Whatever." He stood up. "I'm going to class."

"Roxas!" I grabbed his arm, wincing when his face changed from pissed off to really pissed off. "Roxas, I know you're pissed at me and I don't blame you for a second. I can't believe I yelled at you like that earlier. I'm really mad at myself for that, you know. But please just be pissed at me in my presence. Don't walk off, please..."

"You're a dick." He tried to pull away from me, but I had a kind of maybe quite painful grip on his upper arm and he hissed. "Let go."

"No. Roxas, please, just... please, I, um..." I sighed. "Okay, I can't speak. I just..."

"Let me go, Axel." He sounded really upset but I was desperate, and I don't think I would forgive myself if I just let him storm off. "I will scream, and the nurse'll come out, and you will be in so much shit." Even in this situation, I had to admit it was really, really, really hot when he was angry, and when he swore, and especially when he swore angrily.

"Roxas..." My voice cracked halfway through his name. "I'm so sorry."

"Why do you even care about me, Axel? What have I ever done for you?"

I swallowed. Somehow "Helped me masturbate" or "Fuelled countless fantasies about our marriage" didn't seem like appropriate responses. "Don't you get it?" I said quietly, barely thinking about what I was saying. "Roxas... I... fuck, how can you not understand by now?"

He scowled at me. "Well maybe it's because I'm really fucking blonde."

"I like blondes," I blurted out. "Look, Roxas, I... you're my best friend, okay?"

"Sure I am. And I guess that Pence is Olette's best friend, too." What did that mean? Was he hinting? Please, God, let him be hinting. "Let me go, you nutjob."

"Roxas..." I sighed and tapped the toes of my left foot against the heel of my right. "Are you still coming over to my place this weekend?"

"Yeah, I am. I need the munny. Now will you please let go of my arm?"

"What do you want me to do, Roxas?" I asked desperately, still not letting go of his slender, muscled, beautiful, amazing upper arm, warm pressing through the thin layer of clothing that separated his body from me. "I know you're pissed at me, okay, and... and I hate that. Can I make it up to you somehow?" Preferably with sex?

"Um, you can start by letting go of me," he said sharply, tugging away from me again with an adorable little grunt.

"Promise you won't just walk off to class if I let go?" He nodded, his hair bouncing a little. I was entranced by his soft blonde hair and the idea of wrapping my hands in it, tugging it, pulling it until his head was precisely where I wanted it, and then after all the shenanigans, running my fingers through it as I whispered things into his ear. "Okay." I let go of his arm and he rubbed at it, looking sort of less angry now. "Shit, did I hurt you?"
"How could you not have hurt me? Do you have any idea how tightly you were holding my arm?" he snapped, and I winced. "Okay, you want to make up for being a dick? Stop being a dick. It's that simple."

"Roxas..." I sighed again. "I'm really sorry."

"This is what I mean," he growled. Ooh, growling. That was hot. "You do dumb shit and then you make me feel bad about it by doing the whole "I'm a pathetic lonely kid and I'm sorry to have upset you even the tiniest bit" routine, and it really annoys me."

"I'm sorry," I said again, then bit my lip. "I... ah... it isn't a routine. And you're the only person I do that to."

"Wow, don't I just feel special." He almost smiled, though. I loved his smile. I especially loved his eyes and eyelashes and the creases around his eyes when he smiled and the lips and everything, really. "You're so difficult."

"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

"I mean, you're a nutcase, which would be one thing if I didn't really like you, but I do." You like me. FUCK. You like me. Oh, fuck, you like me... "You just... I actually like hanging out with you. And it's just so shitty because you're such a tough person to hang out with, like, you're so damn weird, but I feel kind of responsible for you, you know?"

"Yeah," I nodded, barely able to speak. Please let him like me at least a little tiny bit as much as I like him. "You know, you're difficult too."

"Oh? How am I?" He raised a perfect little eyebrow at me, his mouth rising on one side slightly.

Because you're so damn tempting but you won't just take off your clothes and let me fuck you. "Because, uh, you're so oblivious sometimes. And slow. Blonde, you know." I reached out and twisted a lock of his hair around one of my fingers, taking care to be very, very gentle after I had accidentally hurt his arm earlier.

"Oblivious? When am I oblivious?"

I grinned. "I'm not gonna explain."

He pouted. Oh FUCK. "Fine, if you're not gonna tell me, I'm going to class."

"Wait!" He turned around on his way out of the door, which was kind of a shame because I had really been enjoying the view of his ass. "Are we, uh, are we friends again?"

He nodded, his face splitting into a full smile, and I almost whimpered. "Sure we are, Axel." Say my name again oh my fuck I like it when you do that... "See you soon, yeah?"

"Mm-hmm." I swallowed. He was so hot...

Fuck. I was now really hard.

Admitting to myself

I sat in the back of the classroom so that I could doodle. My arm kind of hurt from where Axel had decided to grab me really forcefully, but at least the headache was gone.

"Hey, Roxas," Hayner hissed. I turned towards him, trying to get used to the idea that he wasn't going to grope me at every opportunity. "How'd it go with Axel?"

"How did you know I was talking to Axel? I went to the nurse to get some painkillers because I had a really bad headache. He just kind of... showed up." I thought for a moment. "He shows up pretty often, now that I think about it."

"Huh, funny that. It's like he likes you or something." Hayner wiggled his eyebrows at me and I laughed. "I'm serious, Roxas, I think you're in with a chance."

"Thanks, Hayner. You're actually not bad when you're trying to get into my pants, you know that?"

"Oh really?" he laughed, bumping my knee with his. "I guess maybe I should have spent more time being your friend and less time trying to seduce you."

"Well, now you know for the next guy that comes around," I said, returning to the cloud I was sketching on the last page of my notebook. "But yeah, um, Axel got really upset."

"How come?"

"Because I was pissed at him for yelling at me earlier, and he wanted me to forgive him. He was all "How can I make it up to you?" and I was all "Just stop being such a dick!" which kind of didn't go over as well as I'd hoped."

Hayner chuckled. "You know I'm still going to try and nail you every time I'm drunk, and maybe if I'm really horny and Axel's left you alone for a week or two."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, right, because me and Axel are totally going to end up together."

"Well, why not? You like him, he likes you, it's really simple!" Hayner insisted, grabbing my pencil from me and scrawling "I love Axel" on the top of my page. "Look. It looks right, that written on your notebook next to all your gay doodles."

"Can you really call me gay, considering all the times you've tried to get me into bed?"

Hayner smirked. "You know... um... if ever you get bored of the whole one-guy thing, or if you and Axel split up, or you're just really really horny..."

"Oh, shut up, Hayner, you promised you weren't gonna hit on me any more."

"I never said that, I just said I'd let Axel have his turn at wooing you. And he's nowhere around, so..."

I sighed. "You're a dickbag."

"You're adorable."

"Roxas! Hayner!" We both jolted and looked to the front. Xigbar was glaring at us, having looked away from Demyx for what was probably the first time today. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, sir. Sorry." I ducked my head down and started actually working for about two minutes, then went back to doodling. I could always finish the classwork at home. "Hayner, I hate you."

"You don't hate me. I'm Demyx's brother, who could hate me?" It was interesting to see that both Demyx and Xigbar twitched at the mention of Demyx's name. "Speaking of Demyx, any idea whether he and Axel have made up yet?"

"No, sorry. They will eventually though, right?"

Hayner sighed. "Well, they had better do it soon. See, the only reason that Axel is going to pass this subject – well, the only way he's going to pass this grade, actually – is Demyx. You know, because he has the majority of the teachers in this place wrapped around his little finger..."

"Wrapped around his dick, more like," I muttered, and Hayner laughed. "I mean, you know, he's a really nice guy, but he is such a whore sometimes."

"Yeah, he is. Has he ever hit on you?"

"Um, no, not really," I lied, thinking about all the subtle innuendoes and sly grins and winks and that one kiss that had taken place when Axel wasn't around. I knew for a fact that Demyx liked Xigbar, so his only real reason for hitting on me was because it pissed Axel off, and sometimes could prove quite convenient for him as well.

"Good, good. Axel wouldn't be happy, you know. If he did, I mean." Hayner drummed his pencil on the table. "I do worry about Demyx, you know."

"Yeah, I think everyone does. He's just so... he doesn't really understand the consequences of his actions a lot of the time, does he?" I sighed. "I'm exhausted, you know."

"How come?"
I shrugged. "I was tired, but I couldn't sleep last night. I had this weird suspicion that there was someone or something outside my bedroom window." I forced a laugh. "Weird, right?"

"I bet it was Axel," Hayner grinned. "Watching you get dressed... watching you jack off..."

"Shut up, I don't jack off!"

"Oh, come on, Roxas, everyone does it."

"I don't. At least, I hardly ever do. Only when I'm really horny or whatever."

Hayner raised an eyebrow. "So, like, every time you and Axel have physical contact."

"You're such a dick," I muttered, going back to my doodling.

After a few more painfully long minutes I heard Hayner's phone buzz in his pocket. "Shit. That'll be my parents, they were meant to be talking to the doctors about Henna. Cover me, right?"

How I was supposed to cover him I'm not sure, but he pulled out his phone to read the text. I waited for the news with baited breath, because even though I had never even met Henna properly, she sounded adorable, and plus, whatever could be used to help her could also be used to help Naminé. And apart from anything else, I felt really bad that she was ill. I felt responsible. I hadn't known when I kissed Demyx that I could carry Nami's illness, sure, but just because I didn't mean to didn't mean that it wasn't my fault.

"Roxas," Hayner said slowly, his eyes sliding up to Xigbar who was still standing at Demyx's desk, playing footsie with him by the look of things, "Henna... Henna's booked in for surgery on Friday night. The doctors don't really think she'll make it. This is a sort of... last resort."

I swallowed. "That's really..."

"And they told us," he carried on, "...well, they told my parents that really, we should spend Friday saying our goodbyes, you know." He looked like he was going to cry. "I can't believe this. I just... how could she die?"

"Hayner... doctors are always told to prepare you for the worst, right? So they're gonna make it sound like she's definitely going to, you know, go, but actually she might just be fine."

Hayner sniffed. "You think so?"

"I know so. Do you think that Demyx got the message yet?" I nodded towards Demyx, who was at the front of the class batting his eyes at Xigbar, who was trying and failing to ignore him in favour of actually doing some kind of teaching.

"Doesn't look like it." Hayner sighed. "Do you think that he actually likes Xigbar, or do you think it's all just an act?"

"I think he actually likes Xigbar. The thing with Luxord, now that's artificial. I mean, I don't really know, but..." I shrugged and started shading in a guy's face on my doodle. "Fuck, but I'm tired."

"Yeah, I know you are. You look tired."

"Wow, thank you so much. I'm really, really flattered, truly." Hayner grinned. "Nah, I know I look like shit. Do you think Axel noticed?"

"Are you kidding? The way Axel looks at you, you'd think that you're naked all the time."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I asked slowly, realising that Axel might not actually be that wrong when he says I'm oblivious and, well, blonde.

Hayner rolled his eyes. "Be-cause, he's practically eye-fucking you most of the time, haven't you noticed? I swear to God he drools every time even the slightest sliver of your skin becomes visible. Waist, wrists, ankles, anything. He's obsessed, Roxas."

"Yeah, right," I laughed, wishing, just wishing that it were true.

xxx

I apologise to anyone I may have offended so far in this fic. That includes blondes, Twilight fans, people who (for some bizarre reason beyond my comprehension) ship Roxas with Hayner... anyway. I apologise to you all. I love you very much, and without you this story would not still be in existence.

I wanna ask you again to go read and review my other fics. This story isn't going to last forever and I'm almost certainly not going to write a sequel, so you guys should get into my other stuff, and then maybe you could feed me some ideas for my next chaptered fic? I'd love that, you know. In the meantime, review this one, give me chocolate, and other such attention-whoreish requests.