Amanda fell asleep in no time and so did Liv but instead of joining the blonde, she crushed on the sofa while she was trying to work. A few hours had passed until Olivia suddenly woke up, alerted by the screaming coming from Amanda's room.

Blinking a few times in order to feel operational, she reached for the blonde's room. Amanda was literally freaking out. Curled up against the wall and facing it, she refused Fin to approach her. "Get away!" She kept repeating. Olivia was a bit surprised to find him there, but he must have heard her before her. Olivia was on the threshold. For a brief moment she felt guilty to have fallen asleep instead of staying with Amanda as she promised, the second after she was annoyed Fin didn't call her. But this didn't last more than three seconds after what she tried to approach the southern girl.

"Manda" she announced her presence since she wasn't even sure Amanda was aware of what was around her. "Amanda, it's Olivia"

Fin let Olivia managing her but he couldn't resolve himself to leave. He knew she was having a real hard time since the assault but it was the actual first time he assisted to such a scene: he could assure his co-worker was terrified. Olivia was a little more used to comfort her but seeing her so agitated wasn't usual.

Olivia prudently knelt to stroke Amanda's arm. She knew from experience as soon as the blonde would notice she was safe it would be easier. She just needed Amanda to turn around instead of facing the wall. "Amanda, it's me, it's Liv" she repeated with concern

If Amanda first pushed her, she soon recognized the reassuring voice and finally dare to turn her head. "Livia" She managed to say between the sobs. "It's ok babe, I got you" Olivia could finally offering her the security she needed. Fin didn't move, in part not to frighten the blonde but also because he wanted to make himself useful. Olivia gave him a glance and he slowly approached the two women. Fin knelt as well and as Amanda noticed his presence he knew he could now touch her. He waited for her to calm down before helping her up. She didn't protest, she simply stare his worried eyes.

"I am sorry" She shamefully articulated.

Fin wanted to say something nice but he knew it would have been worse. "Don't start that shit" he answered, giving a half smile though.

It reassured her.

Olivia placed her hand in Amanda's back, seating next to her. "Are you ok?"

Amanda nodded as Fin handed her a glass of water. "Why don't we all try to go back to sleep?" Fin suggested. Olivia agreed although she didn't think she'd be able to rest again and she knew neither would he, but Amanda replaced herself under the cover. Fin left the room while Olivia lay on her side, close to the blonde.

"Manda I'm sorry I wasn't there" Olivia had promised her she'd stay at her side and hoped the blonde wasn't feeling as she was avoiding her. Amanda didn't answer mainly because she was still terrified with her nightmare.

"You just dreamt about your recent assault, didn't you?" Olivia knew if she didn't try to guess she wouldn't obtain anything. Seeing how frighten to blonde still was, she figured it was because she just relived something fresh that she didn't have the time to accept yet.

"This time.. it was different" Amanda avoided, grateful for Olivia's presence

"You can tell me" Olivia softly said.

"They were attacking me.. but at the same time I could see them from the outside.. like a spectator" Amanda let escape a sob even though she promised herself not to cry again.

"How did it feel?" Olivia didn't ask for curiosity. She simply let an occasion to the blonde she was holding to express her feelings as she needed.

"Worse" Although it helped to say it loud, she didn't need to add more.

Maybe now she finally realised what she'd just been through. Maybe now she's taking conscience she doesn't deserve what happened.

"You're safe now" Olivia soothed while placing her hand behind Amanda's head. It was the first time she had to treat her like an actual survivor and reassure her. Not that she liked the idea but it was another good sign, deep down. It meant Amanda was ready to accept all this was unfair. "Just close your eyes, I'll be right here"

"M'so sorry" Amanda answered.

"What did Fin say.. don't start that shit?" It didn't have the same effect, coming from Olivia. The woman was still tensed. "I've been there, Manda.. I know how it's like" This helped her better. If Olivia could do it, than she would too. Or at least she would try. With this resolution, she closed her eyes and let the tiredness win.

"She's asleep?" Fin asked, having a cup of coffee just like as if it was a silent agreement that they would meet when Amanda would be sleeping soundly.

Olivia nodded while she helped herself with the hot beverage. "You know she had to go through this, it's the only way to feel better" Olivia didn't know why she felt the need to reassure him. Fin wasn't usually the one that was looking for comfort but this time it was different. This time they were talking about someone they closely knew and it changed the rules, specially if they were temporary sharing the same roof. Sooner or later, he had to see her when she was really broken. "She freaked out when she saw me entering her room. I didn't expect that. It was like she was dreaming awake"

"It could be" Olivia assured. "Nightmares after a trauma can seem so real.. it's a normal reaction. I would be more worried if she didn't experience such things"

"I know you're right. I just.. didn't realise it was… like that" Fin admitted, a little ashamed.

Olivia could understand him, specially since Amanda didn't show herself with him the same way she was with her. Not that she didn't trust him. Maybe she found herself even closer to Fin than she was with Olivia but they were partner. Amanda wouldn't him to think she was weak.

"We need to take a decision" Olivia took advantage of this time with him to move on with Amanda's case.

"The guy – Luciano- agreed to plead guilty on all charges if we allow him to serve his sentence in Brazil" Fin refreshed the situation.

"That's what I heard. What's your opinion?" Olivia already had her own but asked his first not to influence him.

"I don't know Liv. He doesn't feel remorse for what he did. He thinks it's justice. So why plead guilty except if he knows he can work something out once he leaves the country"

Olivia nodded. "That's what I thought. But if we can't avoid a process, it would be for the best. I'm not sure Amanda's ready for court." Fin had no choice than agree on that argument, specially after tonight.

"And about the other attackers? Would we ever find something concrete?"

"Once he says they left the country. Once he says they're ready to make her pay for pursuing them, once he says he has no idea where they are and that's our job to find out" that's another reason why Fin needed a comforting word tonight. It wasn't only about Amanda, but he was aware that they were losing every chance to catch the other attackers.

"That's obstruction to justice. We won't agree to his deal unless he talks." Olivia was strict on that, as she already talked with Lieutenant Murphy.

"Yeah, but if we agree to his deal and he and he says they're gone, we would never make be sure that one of them paid for what he did"

"This is the exact reason why we're going on with the investigation and won't agree any deal for now" Olivia stated

Amanda took her shower and joined Olivia in the kitchen that hadn't taken more rest. She'd been working on Amanda's case and other desk task since Fin left.

"Morning" Olivia gave Amanda a welcoming smile. Today will be the day when the blonde would start eating properly again, she decided but didn't announced it yet.

"Hey" Amanda didn't know how she should react. Last night she just share one of her biggest past secret. after that, she freaked out, and now she should just get up and act as if nothing happened. Was this the normal thing to do when you have someone you can count on to? Amanda had no idea.

Olivia caught the lost look in her eyes but they would have a whole day to talk about serious stuff. "Were you able to rest a little bit more?"

Amanda nodded with the same confused look.

"Manda what is it?" She asked with concern. Olivia didn't want to push her as soon as she woke up but she felt like Amanda needed it.

"I feel like.. the laziest person in the word" Amanda sighed

Olivia held her an orange juice. "Honey it's only been 4 days"

Amanda got a little bit nervous "yeah and since then I did what? Except trying to sleep?" Her anger soon increased the sensation of emptiness in her already-spinning head but she wouldn't show it. It was her damn fault she wasn't eating, she should face the consequences.

Olivia pretended she didn't notice the way the blonde grabbed the table for reassurance and simply answered her question. "What did you do? Let me refresh it, you agreed to press charges, you went to hospital, you told me what happened, you made the ID of the first attacker, you agreed to see a doctor, you opened up about a very difficult time of your past. It doesn't seem like nothing to me, for a woman who never trust anyone in her entire life" Olivia gave her a satisfied nod. "I think you're doing great" she added as an encouragement.

"Well, it would be helpful to establish a trust directions for use" Amanda added ironically

Olivia couldn't wait to hear more about this brilliant idea and gave Amanda an amused smile. She also thought the Amanda she knew was on her way back.

"What should I feel right now? How must I act?" she added with the same irony but Olivia knew that she was being serious.

"Hun, you know what's good about trust? There is no good way to act. Cause every way is fine"

Amanda liked the nice formulated answer but it didn't help her much.

"I'm not expecting you to feel good because we talked, neither to be sad, or what ever. You have to just act like you feel. I'm not here to judge I'm here to help." Olivia added with tenderness.

The first thing that came in Amanda's head was: and if I don't want help? No, she couldn't say it, she couldn't say it, she wouldn't say it! She wanted help, she just didn't know how not to feel guilty about it afterward.

Hmm... I just want to say... I know nothing about law in US. Is the deal Amanda's attacker want even possible? hmm.. it some of you can't stand to read such an absurdity.. well just let me know I am willing to change... but I tryed to look in google: US pain abroad... don't laugh... ok laugh... well... my purpose is to develop more about the feelings between Amanda and Liv (and a little with Fin) so I admit I am not comfortable with the investigation as I really don't like it... at first I wanted to write a fiction about an Amanda unwilling to press charges... because... hey... let's be honest... how many didn't have the courage to do it and still survive... It was my first intention.. and I thought she might be the kind of girl that doesn't want to go to trial.. but then I don't know what changed my mind.. maybe the fact her team wouldn't accept it...

Anyway... let me know what you think and thanks for the review everytime you made me smile! XXX