Chapter 21
Lee walked into the school and fist-bumped Cam, but they had to duck as the giant floating robotic eye went overhead.
"Yo, what's with the almost-haircut?" Cam yelled.
The eye came back, and it shot a laser dangerously close to Lee's shoe, which had an untied lace. "Okay, I'm tying it. Man, first Barrage's robot cleaners go crazy, and now his eye-bot is busting me for an untied shoe?" she muttered.
Cam poked her shoulder. "Dude, not eye-bot, eye-bots bro."
"Eye-bots has babies?" Holger questioned.
One of the eye-bots zapped the gum Brandy was chewing and she scowled. "Hey, that bubble was worth more than your life!" she shouted as the bell rang and all the eye-bots turned red, pointing their 'arms' to the classes.
Lee grimaced as the eye-bot prodded her roughly in the back. "Okay, I'm going. What is up?" she growled and she and Holger heading to their first period class.
"Morning A. Nigma High," Chaz said from the television screen, "Chaz Monorianian; that's right, I rock."
Tina sighed. "I'm Tina Kwee, in case no one's noticed, we're being watched." She said and an eye-bot floated up behind her. "Everywhere. Could this have something to do with Barrage's Cleaners turning out to be malfunctioning robots? Or is it all part of a lockdown of the school inspector's visit today?"
There was a hiss of a spray can as Chaz began to spray his hair, but the eye-bot snatched it away. "Hey! So not cool!"
From in the classroom, Steve attempted to eat a sandwich, only for the eye-bots in the room to zap it, and anything else that seemed to break the rules.
"We're students, not prisoners, and we demand-" Tina was cut off by a robot pulling her off-screen and being replaced, which the robot's screen turned into an image of Barrage.
"Listen up; these are perfectly normal security precautions for Inspector Blompkins visit. So, let's put on our best happy, prancin' smiles, and impress our dear Blompkins." Barrage said. "Oh, and would the following students report to detention now!" he shouted and the screen turned off after showing a chart of the students to leave their classes.
"Holger has detention, whoopee!" Holger yelled.
Lee stared at him, rolling her eyes.
"Any luck cracking the password?" Lee whispered to Biff.
"Are you sure the first number is 1 or a 7?" Biff asked. "And hey, don't let people see you talking to me, we're still not going public, remember?"
Lee glanced out at the front of the classroom, but no one was looking back at them. "Don't sweat it, no one's watching." She said and frowned. "Though it's difficult not to kiss you, this is supposed to be our time together."
"I know." Biff replied and from under the desk, he grabbed Lee's hand briefly before he let go and she sat in the desk in front of his.
"El Pres can't get detention, okay?" Cam yelled at his council members. "It's a school rule, fool. My father is gonna be mucho outraged."
"Hi chums," Lynch said to Lee and Biff, "in the old slammer again, huh? Any plans for a Lee Ping high-stakes style break-out?" he asked, but Biff grabbed his peanut bag and tossed it over his shoulder.
The door opened and Kimmie and Steve were lead in by an eye-bot. "I don't see how getting my lip balm out of my locker is breaking the rules." Kimmie said and held her nose. "It still smells like loser in here."
"Still smells like loser in here." Biff repeated in a poor imitation of Kimmie's voice.
Kimmie scoffed. "That's original."
"Oh, news flash, saying 'that's original' isn't original." Biff retorted.
Barrage appeared in the doorway. "Well, if it isn't my favorite people in the whole wide wiggly world!" he said sarcastically.
Holger stood up in front of him. "Donkey-shine." He said and slipped back to his seat.
"We know what's going on," Tina said marching up to Barrage, "you wanna keep us hidden, because you're afraid we'll tell the Inspector that your robot Cleaners put the entire student body in jeopardy."
"Everybody sit down and stay quiet!" Barrage yelled and pointed at everyone else as the eye-bots floated over. "Boys." he said and the eye-bots tossed Tina back over to the desks before slamming the door shut.
Since Lee couldn't speak with Biff right now, and she saw Tina and Chaz arguing in the corner, talking with Tina was out, and Cam was still being grumpy about being stuck in detention, while Holger was busy buzzing around and she didn't want to disturb his exploration of the room. She was almost half-tempted to do what Lynch said about a break-out, to relieve her impending boredom if nothing else.
A few minutes later, Barrage surprised them by appearing in the doorway again. "Listen up, this is a Code 1-25, we are moving locations, effective now!"
"You can't keep us silent, and you can't move us anywhere you want whenever you feel like it." Tina said.
"Can and will!" Barrage shouted. He turned back toward the door and after a moment, he left and they all had to follow him, but Lee lagged behind the group as she saw Brandy showing the Inspector a wall, but was pushed along by the eye-bot to keep going. Soon enough, they were all herded outside to a portable and Barrage held up a megaphone. "For entrance to be permitted, all phones are to be relinquished!"
"So if we don't wanna give up our phones, can we stay out here?" Kimmie asked holding her phone up, but an eye-bot came and took it away.
Lee saw the line going up the steps of an old trailer, and looked worriedly at the phone in her hand. "Oh no, Radcircles phone." She said and hid it in her cell cover as she took out her regular one and put it in the bin Barrage was holding. He stared at her suspiciously, but she just grinned nervously. His eye narrowed even more before jabbing toward the entrance.
Lee was about to sigh in relief, only for the phone to start beeping and Barrage put a hand on her shoulder. "I should have known you'd try and break the rules, hand it over." He said and held out his other hand as the eye-bots began to surround her.
Thinking quickly, Lee slipped the phone down her pant leg as she pulled out her key chain and when she felt the phone exit through the bottom of her pants, she slid it back across the ground back to Holger. "Oh, that's my key chain; it has a hundred and one different sound effects." She said and pressed down on the button. "Fake phone ring, bugle horn, and of course, my personal favorite," she said sarcastically as she pressed down on the button and a flatulence sound was made.
Barrage growled and crushed the keychain in his robotic hand, but Lee was allowed inside and Holger followed after her.
Holger began to kick the phone into the air like it was a bean bag, but kicked it a little too high.
"Holg!" Lee exclaimed and it went flying off to the side.
"Ouch!" Kimmie said rubbing her head. "Sup losers?" she asked and held up the phone. "Looking for this?"
Lee approached amiably. "Uh, thanks." She said reaching for it.
Kimmie kept Lee at length by pushing her shoulder back. "What an ugly phone, but no surprise there given your boyfriend's taste in hats." She said.
Biff looked around once to make sure no one had heard, before he glowered at Kimmie. "I'm standing right here."
Kimmie ignored him though. "I might consider returning it after I call Brandy, and tell her to bring my lip balm over here." She said and Lee groaned, barely hearing the beep of the phone. "What's your password? Biffy, right?"
Lee blushed and Biff's eye twitched. "Hey."
"How do you spell that?" Kimmie asked teasingly.
"Oh just give me that!" Biff snapped and reached for the phone, but Kimmie pulled it back.
"This just gets better," Kimmie said, "Barrage did say no phones, so maybe I'll just hand it over to the local authorities."
Biff chuckled mockingly. "This is how you're gonna play it, huh?"
"Why not?" Kimmie retorted. "I'm bored and there's nothing left to do."
"Okay, so what if someone gets you the lip balm that you've been crying about?" Biff asked.
Kimmie crossed her arms. "Whateves."
Lee and Biff walked back over to Holger. "Holg, lip balm?" she asked and Holger shrugged. "Keep an eye on that phone," she said quietly to Biff, "I'll see if I can scare some up."
Biff stopped and looked at her strangely. "Don't you have any?"
Lee glowered at him. "We kiss almost every day; shouldn't my dry lips say anything about that?"
Biff leered at her. "Who said they were dry?"
Lee smiled briefly and flushed before she shooed him away and Lynch walked over.
"Hi ya chief, is it mission time yet?" he asked.
"Got any lip balm?" Lee asked quickly.
"No, why?" Lynch asked back.
Lee moved on and glanced over at where Biff was talking to Kimmie, but she had to keep focused right now. She walked over to Cam and tapped his shoulder. "Empty your pockets."
"What's the deal, Chica?" he asked as he pulled the contents of his pockets out.
"You carry pocket lint, straws, bottle caps, but no lip balm?" Lee asked in disbelief.
"Hey, I don't carry pocket lint, bro; it's just ends up in there." Cam said and lifted up the bottle cap. "This bottle cap says 'try again.' But if you need lip balm, try asking Tina." He said nodding over at where Tina and Chaz still seemed to be arguing with each other and Brad was glaring at them.
Lee sighed. "Alright, but only because it looks like as though they're going to kill each other."
"Really? I'm so in." Cam said as he followed Lee over to where the two reporters were at the far end of the portable.
"Pretty crazy detention we got, huh?" Lee asked.
The arguing had abruptly stopped once Tina caught sight of Lee. "Replace 'crazy' with 'illegal' and yeah, I totally agree."
Lee pointed at her lips. "My lips are dry, and I need some lip balm. Tina, I'd figure you'd have some?"
"Why? Because I'm a girl?" Tina asked. "You're a girl too, don't you have any? Not all of us females are obsessed with looks."
"Totally." Lee said contritely. "I just didn't know who…" she trailed off and sighed. "Chaz, do you have any?"
Chaz crossed his arms. "I am offended you'd think I'd have any just because I like to take care of myself, it's your own fault for kissing Biffy with dry lips."
Lee flushed and glanced around to make sure no one had heard that, but she did see Cam look away at the mention.
"Chaz!" Tina admonished. "If you want me to like you, you have to be nice to my friends."
"You're not nice to Brandy." Chaz countered.
"Brandy doesn't count!" Tina yelled.
Chaz scoffed, but took a small stick of lip balm out of his pocket. "Fine, but only because I like you, Tina."
Lee looked between them, brow raised. "Seriously, when did this change happen?"
Chaz scowled and pulled the lip balm out of reach. "Just for that, you want this; you have to get me a breath mint." He said and Tina crossed her arms. "What? She insulted the Chaz, and no one does that."
Lee rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll get you your stupid breath mint." She said and tugged Cam along with her. "Now, if I was a mint, whose mouth would I be in?"
"Exactly yo, you got to think like a breath mint to catch a breath mint." Cam said before Lynch showed up again.
"What's with all the sneaking around? Up to Lee Ping spy stuff?" he asked.
"Totally bro, what of it?" Cam asked.
"I knew it!" Lynch exclaimed.
"We need a breath mint, you got one?" Lee asked.
"Breath mint, why would I need that?" Lynch asked. "When Green Apple Splat also has delicious apple-after breath." He said taking a drink of his Splat, and burped.
Cam sniffed and sighed dreamily. "Appley-ugh!" he said disgusted. "What did you have for breakfast, dude?"
"Tuna and pickerel omelet of course." Lynch replied.
The door to the portable was busted open and Barrage stood there with several eye-bots. "Eyes and stys this way people. Our location has been compromised. We're moving out!" he shouted.
Lee sighed in frustration as the eye-bots herded them out once more. "Aw man. Not again." She said and they were relocated to the gym.
"Remain here until further notice!" Barrage shouted and slammed the doors shut, the eye-bots remaining behind.
Lee looked around, but then caught sight of Steve tossing a breath mint into his mouth and walked over to him, with Cam and Lynch following. "Steve! My favorite…" she paused as Steve tossed a shoe into the basket-ball net. "…basket shooter. Can I score a breath mint?"
"Sorry dude," Steve said and retrieved the shoe, "only one left, and I got a big date after school." He said dropping the shoe onto the ground.
"How 'bout a trade?" Lee questioned. "Your last breath mint for a," she looked down at the shoe, "basketball?"
"Sure." Steve said and tossed the shoe at the net once more, only to have one of the eye-bots vaporize it.
They looked around for the spot where the basketballs were kept, and Cam jingled the padlock on it.
"Okay, Plan B, you got a Plan B, right?" he asked.
Lee put a hand to her chin. "I could pick it, if I had a pin."
"Lock picking? Wow. Miss Ping, is there anything you can't do?" Lynch asked taking another drip of his Splat.
Lee narrowed her eyes as she spotted a hairpin in Lynch's hair. "I'm not even gonna ask, but," she said and took the pin out, not noticing it slide, "thanks."
"Hey, how'd that get there?" Lynch questioned as he patted his hair down.
Lee hurried over to the padlock, but Cam's shout made her freeze.
"Floating eye, homes!" he shouted and both he and Lynch covered her as the eye floated by, and she attempted to pick the lock.
"Got it!" she whispered. She grabbed a basketball and rushed over to Steve to trade to the breath mint, before she rushed over to Chaz and traded for the lip balm, and then over to where Biff, Kimmie and Holger were. "Got your lip balm!" she shouted, but paused as she saw what Holger was doing. "Oh, hey, the Fleshersphere story? I love this part." She said as Holger kicked himself in the head.
"Ew, like I'm actually gonna use someone else's lip balm," Kimmie said, "gross much?"
Biff growled. "Oh, come on! Hand it over!"
"Oh, extra sensitive today," Kimmie replied, "fine, you can have your ugly phone back. But Holger has to entertain me until this is over." She continued and patted her pocket. "Huh? It's not here."
"Ha ha." Lee said flatly. "Nice one, hand it over." She said holding out here hand.
"No, seriously, it was in this pocket." Kimmie said. "Someone here stole it."
Lee's eyes widened in alarm. "What?"
Before anything else could be done or said, there was shouting as the gym doors opened. "No, wait, the butterflies!" Barrage shouted as he, the superintendent and Brandy stood in the doorway.
"What are all these students doing?!" The superintendent shouted.
Tina ran over to him. "Superintendent Blompkins, thank goodness you found us, the principal was-" she was cut off by a familiar beeping and Lee looked around.
"Is that what I think it is?" Blompkins questioned. "A communications device?"
"A phone? No, that's a…butterfly mating call, I must have missed one." Barrage rushed out nervously.
Lee heard the laser fire and only looked up in time to see the phone go flying through the air, which got narrowly missed by the zap and it instead hit the sprinklers, though her alarm was in no way negated by the fact Barrage caught the phone as the other students all began to run around like headless chickens to get out of the water.
Chaz covered his head. "My hair! Not the hair!"
"This is no time to fuss about your hair!" Tina shouted.
For one moment, Chaz looked at her suavely. "Well, they say a rainstorm is the perfect place for a kiss."
Tina rolled her eyes.
"Phones in school," Blompkins said disapprovingly and the sprinklers turned off, "consider yourself on notice. This," he continued and handed Barrage a pink slip, "is your one warning. I shall return in exactly four days, and if I find even one infraction, you are caput! Fired!" he shouted and stormed off.
"Wait!" Brandy shouted as she ran after Blompkins. "You never told me where you got your clogs!"
Barrage growled as he crumpled the pink slip in his fist. "Disobeying a direct order! You can't control your urges to yap? Well then, maybe I can't control my urge..." he grabbed the box where all the cell phones were located, "to destroy things! Next stop, the furnace room."
"No." Lee said in dismay as the rest of the students gasped.
"Since dude's like gone, can't we like, go?" Cam asked.
"No! Eye-bots, no one leaves!" Barrage shouted. "Watch Ping; I'm sure she had something to do with this." He said and the eye-bots surrounded Lee and Barrage slammed the door shut.
Everyone surrounded Ed, their expressions angry and it didn't long for Lee to realize he had taken the phone. "Guys, I'm sorry, really."
Lee briskly moved over to him, her own expression becoming angry. "That was you that had my phone, why'd you steal it?"
"I may have a small stealing problem." Ed replied. "But I'm working on it." He said and the other students closed in on him while Lee walked back over to Biff.
"Don't you find it odd that both times Radcircles phone rang was when it shouldn't have?" she questioned. "Whoever it is, they're in here right now."
"Good point," Biff muttered, "but right now, you gotta get that phone back." He said before he walked away.
Lee looked up at the ceiling air vent, and then over at the angry mob of students. "Guys, first off, leave Ed alone. I know stealing sucks and all, but if we want to get our phones back, I'm gonna need everyone's help."
After quick deliberation, and a round of head nodding, Holger spoke up. "Okay flabby worms, let us do that jumping jacks and make our muscles go to healthy fun-fun town."
Lee glanced at the eye-bots watching her on the bleachers, and once everyone started doing jumping jacks, they left her alone. She quickly maneuvered herself into the air vent and saw Holger turn to give her the thumbs up. She returned it and crawled through the vent.
"Never a dull moment with Lee Ping." Lynch said from behind her.
"If you think she's action-packed, you should see me in motion." Brad said also from somewhere behind her.
Lee stopped crawling, feeling irritation cross her face as she looked back at them both. "Why are you following me?"
"I'm your sidekick, sidekick ahoy!" Lynch called before doing the thumbs up gesture.
"And I'm the hero," Brad cut in, "so technically you're my sidekick, and you should be following me. Lee, let me get up front!"
Lee began to crawl again. "There's no time, just, come on." She said and curiosity about why Brad was glaring at Tina and Chaz started to get to her. "Okay, Lynch answered, but why are you here, Brad?"
"Monorainian totally stole my moment. I was gonna save Tina and kiss her, so what better way to get my girl back than to help her best friend?" Brad questioned.
Lee rolled her eyes. "Yes, the best friend you expressively kept telling to sacrifice herself to save everyone."
"I also said it was a noble way to go." Brad said in a matter-of-factly manner.
Lee didn't reply as she heard crazed laughter from up ahead and soon they all got to the furnace vent as Barrage opened the furnace and turned up the fire.
"Making it big, real big!" he laughed.
"What's the plan now, chief?" Lynch questioned.
"I don't know-"
"I know." Brad cut Lee off. "I saw we Mc-slam him, hard."
"Are you crazy? He's half robot." Lee retorted. She blinked as an idea came to her. "Brad, you go down, sneak around to those supplies, then knock 'em over and rush out the door, got it?"
"No way am I the decoy; the decoy doesn't get first billing." Brad replied. "And plus, I wanna be the one to hand back all the phones."
"Fine, I'll create the distraction." Lee said annoyed, not having any time for this. "You guys get those phones."
"Leave it to us, Gus." Lynch said as Lee hung from the vent.
"Now that's a fire." Barrage said staring into the furnace as Lee dropped down. "Wishy I brought marshmallows." He continued as Lee knocked the supplies box over and hid behind the pillar in the room. "Halt! Who goes there?" he questioned as both Brad and Lynch fell to the floor. "You kids really love your phones, don't ya? Well then, you're really gonna hate this," he said as Lee reached into the bin and snatched Radcircles' phone, "you have the honor of tossing 'em all into the fire."
Lee ducked out of the room and checked to make sure the phone still worked, but froze as she saw the Vice Principal in front of her and quickly hid the phone behind her back.
"Lee Ping, what are you doing out of Barrage's lockdown?" VP Victoria asked.
"Uh, bathroom break?" Lee offered.
"It's terrible what Barrage's doing with everyone's phones; parents are going to be furious." VP Victoria said. "Hopefully I can make up for that." She continued and held out a box. "One of our school's sponsors have donated these, I don't even think there even available to the general public yet." She said gesturing to the green phones. "Can you take these to your friends and give them each one?" she asked and Lee accepted the box. "And express the school's sincerest apology?"
"Uh, totally, cool." Lee replied and slipped Radcircles phone into her cell cover to hide it from view. "Thanks."
"Nice moves, honey," Biff said from his web cam as their web chat date had turned to what happened at school, "we're still back where we started cracking Radcircles phone." He added more grumpily.
"I know, but-" Lee said, but the phone's beeping cut her off. "Whoa, whoa, incoming message, from Rad."
"Knock, knock," Radcircles said, "hello?"
"Yeah, yeah, who's there?" Lee asked impatiently.
"Seven." Radcircles replied.
Lee furrowed her brow. "Seven who?"
"That's it, just seven." Radcircles retorted. "As in the first number of the password. Since watching you try to figure it out is like," he yawned in an exaggerated fashion, "watching paint dry." He added before the phone went blank.
Lee groaned as she turned her attention back to Biff. "Later Biffy, and thanks for trying to crack it." She said and blew him a kiss, which he 'caught' and his screen closed. Lee looked over at the picture of her and Tina on her desk thoughtfully. "So Tina's got both Chaz and Brad vying for her? Man, I'm glad the only thing standing between me and Biffy is my mom." She said paused, grimacing as she realized how that was going. "Then again, when were things ever simple?"