A/N: Began: 4/22/13 End: 4/13
Anyone else freaking the shit out over Iron Man 3?
IRRRRRRRROOOOOOONNNNNNN MMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN 3!
Follow me on tumblr: ihavetoomanyfandomsforthis. You can guess I'm a fandom blog. Like, seriously, if you didn't gather that, I'm questioning everything about you.
On to the serious bizz, I got a death threat or two. MY FIRST DEATH THREAT GUYS, I'M AN ACCOMPLISHED WRITER! I finally did it, after years of practice, I did it. Also, concerns about my grammar (which yeah, sucks a lot) were raised. I am now in the market for a good beta. I have been letting a friend of mine kind of do it, but friends aren't the most helpful when it comes to being a little critical. So, if there are any beta readers around, come to me, my babies. But don't be too mean, I'm secretly a 6 year old Scandinavian boy.
M. Night Shamilamin plot twist right there, son. And yes, I did spell it Shamilamin, you need to say it like the Zebra from Madagascar. Do it. It's fucking hilarious. What was I doing again? Right, actually writing what you've all followed for. Here we go!
Sirius had a lot on his mind today. For one thing, he was the rebel black sheep in his asshole family of purebloods who hated him. For another thing, he was a gay wizard in a predominantly straight wizard school. Perhaps the most troubling of all his problems, his boyfriend forgot who he was. Not only that, his boyfriend forgot who they were together, which is what Sirius considered the biggest problem of them all. He could never quite replicate what happened between them, every memory he had was much too unique and special to ever be recreated. Remus will never quite understand the joy, the pain, the sadness in all of them.
So as Sirius walked through the halls of Hogwarts aimlessly, he got trapped in his own mind, replaying every kiss, every touch, every laugh, and every single aspect of the Remus he once knew. Each memory brought sadness that crushed away at Sirius' heart. It did so many sickening and gooey things that made him want to melt into a puddle much like how a fangirl does so over a picture of a middle aged British actor.
"Sirius!" the rebel emerged from drowning in a sea of his own bitter thoughts; he could have sworn he heard his name. He turned and saw the figure of a certain Gryffindor king with glasses. "Sirius, snap out of it! Get your ass back to the hospital wing right now."
"That place makes me very much sad, but I thank you for the terrible suggestion, James." Sirius was about to continue walking when James grabbed his robes, stopping him in his tracks.
"You go back there or… or I'll punch you in the face of something. Remus needs you, memory or not, asshole." James glared hard enough to make Sirius want to shrink back into a corner, had any corners been present. "It's just like always, think of it that way. It's just like every other month, only instead lycanthropy, its memory loss. But it's essentially the same. He's sick and needs you because you both need each other, like it or not, got it?"
Sirius forgot the last time he saw James talk to someone with that much ferocity and anger, let alone Sirius himself. Still, Sirius did not understand what use he would have. He was a third leg to Remus now, something no longer needed. He was like a pancreas or an appendix. He just was not needed, and probably not even wanted. And yet, Sirius needed Remus more than anything…
"Fine. But I can't stay there long. It… hurts." Sirius felt somehow weaker than James for feeling pain over this. Was it because it was Remus? Was he weaker than the others? Would he act the same way if it were anyone else in that damn bed? No… it was none of that. It was indeed an almost selfish thought. If it was what everyone around him thought, that this only happened because of what Remus and Sirius were…
That it could have been him in that bed.
Sirius found himself back into the hospital ward, a little worried at the fact that he didn't remember walking there. He saw Remus in the bed, pale, fresh scars, looking too sick to touch, and worn to the bone. It was the same as every month; the only difference was that Remus couldn't remember all the other months. James and Peter left, leaving him alone in the very situation he wanted to avoid forever.
Sirius pushed that thought away as soon as it attempted to crawl its way into his brain. That would be too much. Remus looked up and noticed Sirius giving him a brooding stare.
"Hello again, Sirius Black." Remus gave his trademark ghost of a smile; not quite an expression of happiness, but close enough for Remus. This usually made Sirius start thinking the dirtiest of thoughts, but today, it just made Sirius want the Remus he knew back. Maybe this was Remus, a completely brand new Remus with more, better memories to make. Maybe this is a second chance in disguise.
But it was going so damn well the first time around. Remus probably wouldn't even remember their first time kissing, the first I love you… the only time they ever made love.
"Hello there, Remus Lupin. You look… like hell." Sirius gave the ghost-smile back, he didn't want it anymore. Remus laughed and lifted himself up more to rub his back.
"I feel like hell. I think I got bed sores or something." Remus could not get over the fact that this shaggy boy stared at him so much, nor did he know what to do with said information. "…Tell me about yourself, Black. Maybe… refresh my memory?"
"Well… I'm Sirius Black… I'm not a Slytherin, and I hate my family. I can turn into a dog, but that's illegal… I also do illegal stuff." Sirius struggled to find something to add.
"Ugh." A sound emitted from Remus.
"Ugh? What do you mean ugh!?" Sirius had an unexplained annoyed feeling.
"You're just some typical Gryffindor rebel. 'Oh no, look at me. I'm a badass who needs to proof it every ten seconds.' Tell me about you, not your Gryffindor side."
"Well if you're going to be like that… I like lizards and 60s muggle music. The only reason why my animagus isn't a lizard can only be explain by the fact that lizards can't wrestle werewolves. And I only became one for you to not be lonely during transformations, you know? And 60s muggle music is just pure magic and there's nothing anyone can say to convince me wrong. I also enjoy lemonade more than I let on, and only you knew that. Every time we went to the Three Broomsticks, you would sneak lemonade in, and dump out my butterbeer into your mug and replace my drink with lemonade. No one knew that you switched the drinks, and you never once called me out on it." Sirius' heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage and onto the floor.
"I also consider myself to like both guys and girls. And you were okay with that, as long as I stuck around while I was dating you, and I swore I would be dating you for a long time, maybe forever. I hate flowers, but you like them. So on our anniversary one time, I stuck a bunch of flowers onto my uniform and face, and I woke you up looking like that. I scared the shit out of you, and ever since then, you haven't liked flowers much." Sirius let himself laugh a little. "I have a brother, but I don't talk to him. That annoyed you, but you never said a thing against me on it, even defended me once when James brought it up. But I still broke it off with you that one time, because I thought I needed to focus on fixing my relationship with my brother. I was an idiot then.
"I usually am an idiot, but you liked that about me. You liked correcting me, which annoyed the shit out of me. And I keep coming onto the topic of you, and I think that might be…" Sirius started making the strangest of choking sounds, and Remus supposed this was what happened when he started crying. It wasn't the prettiest sight. "I think it might be because you've been part of my life since… almost forever!" Sirius flopped forward, leaning against the hospital bed. He rested his elbow on the foot of the bed. It was Remus' turn to stare at him.
"You know more about me than me… I used to secretly give you lemonade? You're embarrassed to drink it? That's… eccentric." Remus' mind was still stuck at the processing stage with that entire speech.
"I'm eccentric too, yes. I forgot that," Sirius made something that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob. "I always forget that I'm an extremely eccentric person."
"What kind of flowers did I like? I feel like I would like daffodils..." Remus looked at the face Sirius was giving him and laughed. "Not daffodils then. I liked…"
"Violets, you loved violets. You gave me this one Valentine; I can recite it from heart. 'Roses aren't always red, Violets aren't even blue. They're fucking violet, Sirius let me snog you.' I laughed at that one so hard, and then… I snogged you." Sirius guffawed. "I snogged you good."
"I kissed you?" Remus wondered what that must have been like, probably kind of weird.
"You liked kissing me." Sirius seemed to have a huge ego when it came to this matter. "Amongst other things."
"Sirius Black, do not be nasty!" Remus snorted, feeling a bit more relaxed. Okay, so he kissed this guy some. He didn't know if he would ever have any desire to again, but this shaggy haired boy used to be something to him, it seemed. He could still be something, if the situation wasn't so surreal and creepy.
"I thought you liked my nastiness," Sirius laughed along. "It isn't like I was the only one who pulled the strings in the relationship. You had your fair share of romance…" Sirius looked suddenly sad.
Remus was uncomfortable. He could only wish he could remember how important this shady figure was to him. But he couldn't for the life of him, and it made him want to puke a little. How could he not remember this? What happened?
"Sirius… we can still learn to be friends again. I want to know you more. I want to understand, but maybe it's better if you tried to forget… the Remus you knew. He sounds way too good to be me." Remus was surprised to see a small smile on Sirius' face as he said that.
"Ah, one thing hasn't changed. You still sell yourself way too short, Remus Lupin."
OoOoOo
"I'm going to win him back." Sirius said to a half-asleep James. Three of the four marauders returned back to the dorms. Madam Pomfrey wanted to keep Remus one more night, much to the dismay of everyone. Peter had already fallen asleep. Sirius was cursed to talk to Prongs, who only wanted to drift off to sleep. "I'm going to get him back and not be a typical Gryffindor rebel that he thinks I am."
"I don't care." James whispered.
"The last time, he had to win me over, and it was pretty easy to. But he still has my goddamn… god this is going to sound cheesy. He still has my heart. And he can't keep it unless I can have his, you know? Ugh, that's the cheesiest thing I've said all day." Sirius paced around the room. "He's my Remus, no one else's. He should always be mine."
"Still can't find a reason to care…" James' eyes looked glazed over as he lay in bed. "You smell like hospital."
"I'm not being possessive! He's just been mine for so long, and I don't want to give him up to… to memory loss!" Sirius threw his hands up in the air. "Memory loss! Why is my boyfriend always sick?"
"I don't know, and I don't care…" James nuzzled his pillow. "Go to bed, Sirius, I'll care in the morning."
"I'm persistent, I'll get him back!" Sirius glared at the floor. "Somehow…"
"Your persistence to not shut up shows. I don't care, though, trying to sleep." James sighed.
A/N: I feel like this chapter was too short for you guys, mainly because I've been too busy to write much. So in apology for breaking Remus and not giving you all a sufficient chapter, here's a story:
One time, I was a little girl of about five and a half, and I met my first best friend. Her name was Pearl and we were in different classes. She had the AM class, and I had the PM class. But we still saw each other on Fridays, when the two classes were combined. She was the sweetest person ever, for a five year old, and we hit it off. We had this one game where we pretended to be these kick ass chicks called Dream Girls. Dream Girls were part spy, part agents, part superheroes, part everything else. They could be anything, and to two little five year old girls, that was pretty freaking sweet. She went to my birthdays and we had sleepovers. And she had this one friend who I hated named Amy who would always try to steal Pearl and play with her but not me, but Pearl always found time to play with me. We were awesome.
Then by second grade, I had to switch schools. I switched schools a lot throughout my life. I went to three elementary schools, one middle school, and so far two high schools. Pearl and I lost touch, but she's still my best friend. She's an amazing person and I love her so much. Yeah I made best friends at just about every school I went to, but she was the first. I wonder if maybe if I could have stayed at that school, we would still be friends. I like to think so.
You guys might be wondering where I'm going with this, well I just wanted to tell a sweet story. But I also want to say this: Make a friend. Find a girl who may not be the most popular girl, but seems nice enough. Oh find a guy, I don't care. Just make a friend. You never know what memories you can make simply by being nice to someone. The title of this fiction is A Friend and Not a Thing More, mainly because I thought I would take it in a completely different direction than I really did. But look at all these non-canon memories that were formed between Remus and Sirius, look at Sirius and James. Hell, Peter and James have memories too. They are perhaps the best and worst thing, memories. Make them and keep them forever.
Also, review my stories and if you are interested in being a beta, call me baby girl. You straight up sexy~