As short as her relationship with Regina had been, Emma couldn't remember what she had done in its place. She tried to distract herself with the play, but eventually Regina had to step in and chide her for micromanaging the students.

As the break dragged on, Emma searched for anything to occupy her time. She wandered her rooms aimlessly, picking up books only to abandon them moments later. She had never been as on top of her coursework in all her years of teaching as she was now. She filled her rooms with old Muggle artifacts she could pretend were for her class. Pieces of a toaster oven she had taken apart were spread all over her desk. She was convinced she had lost a few of them so it just sat in pieces on her desk in limbo.

She asked to referee the upcoming Quidditch match and McGonagall had eyed her warily, but allowed it. She took to sitting out by the pitch as the students practiced. It helped clear her head and gave her something to do that wouldn't remind her of Regina.

It stopped being helpful when a group of ambitious Quidditch captains asked if she would supervise them as they worked with some of the younger students on their broom handling. They were hoping to break them of bad habits early. Their enthusiasm reminded her of her own ambitious play for the cup.

It wouldn't have been so bad, if Henry hadn't been so enthusiastic about it. He had no idea what he was doing, but that didn't stop him from trying.

He still knew nothing of what was being planned around him. He couldn't even imagine a hot summer astride a broomstick. He knew his hand in life and embraced what opportunities he could find. She wished she had done the same when she was his age. Too much of her childhood had been spent being resentful. She couldn't imagine what Regina saw of her in him.

Watching the kid kick off the ground, still unsteady, provided her with the unhelpful daydream of a summer teaching him herself. Regina was giving her the opportunity and it scared the crap out of her.

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The tone of her letters must have telling because she received a cheerful owl from Neal telling her he was bringing the family up for the Quidditch match. She sent one back scolding him for picking a game she couldn't actually spend with him and his newborn.

They planned to stay the weekend at least and they agreed to dinner and a day on the town. She found herself looking forward to spending some time with them. It seemed like just what she needed. Neal could give her some perspective. Her fellow orphan had a miraculous way of helping her understand herself.

While she had floundered, Neal had managed to figure it all out. He found Tamara and settled down while she just resigned herself to the spinster aunt that taught at Hogwarts. She had given up on the idea of a family when she was young. She didn't imagine it would become an issue all over again as she became an adult. She had a different kind of family in her friends, but they didn't require the effort that a spouse and child did. They were supposed to be forever and forever was a long time. She could walk away from her friends without the lasting damage that a commitment to Henry and Regina would be.

Regina was asking for a possible future not marriage, but there was just so much to worry about. She knew that she wasn't going to have to be a mother immediately after her decision, but down the road as Regina's partner it would eventually become a necessity. She wished she could just be that cool aunt that was around all the time, but Regina was right. It would be unfair to Henry. She didn't want him to ever believe he deserved less and she couldn't help feel like he would if she tried to go that route.

There was just too much potential for people to get hurt in every situation she imagined. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

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The adoption lawyers told her that she would have an answer before the end of the year. If all went to plan, Henry would be spending the summer with her in her mansion and after a few more assessments, they could finalize the adoption. Before the end of the year, they would want to talk to him themselves to make sure he wanted the adoption. His okay would be the final piece of the equation.

She had fallen back into her routine of life before Emma and Henry. She no longer waited in her classroom. She knew neither of them was coming. It seemed infinitely more lonely than it had before.

She realized she had been naive. Her usual pessimism had been focused entirely on the adoption and the troubles with Henry. She hadn't thought about Emma's reaction much at all and she should have. They had just managed to work out their own problems and now she was basically proposing raising a child together. It was the ultimate lesbian u-haul and Emma was a self professed commitment-phobe.

She had just assumed that Emma would like the idea of adopting Henry. They got along so well and she thought that Emma was feeling the same things she was for the boy. It was hard for her to imagine anyone not loving him the way that she did.

She missed him terribly.

A child was a lot for any new relationship, but she needed to know where Emma stood. Perhaps she should have brought it up at the beginning, but she had never seen the right time. Emma was right. They hadn't even talked about the summer let alone any kind of future together.

It was if subconsciously neither of them had expected things to last. They just went along for the ride, trying to maintain their happiness for as long as they could. It had only been a month like Emma had said and neither of them were used to relationships.

Regina didn't know when the appropriate time to bring up an adoption would have fit into their relationship. Maybe if they hadn't know each other since they were school children and actually had a first date, she would have brought it up then to see if it was worth having a second date. To be fair, she wouldn't have even been thinking about dating if it wasn't Emma. No one else would have even made a blip on her radar.

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"You are asking a hell of a lot of her," Kathryn, said a few days later over a glass of wine.

"You think I don't know that?" Regina said, with a pointed glare.

"I just don't know why you expect her to be a parent to Henry. No one expects people they are dating to automatically become parents to their kids."

"If she came into our life after, there would be different expectations."

"I don't really see that. You're the one adopting him not her."

"If I had Henry from the beginning, she would have had to think about him from the start. Maybe I don't know enough about foster children and adoption, but how would you feel if you were all alone and someone decided to take you in, but their partner acted like you were just a new friend their lover picked up."

"She wouldn't act that way."

"How am I supposed to know? She's saying she could never see him as her son."

"Is she? Or is she saying she needs time?"

"She offered Aunt not stepmom."

"That's better than nothing. She at least wants this to work. If Frederick decided to adopt one of the students, it would throw me and we've been together years."

"But you would never say you would just be their friend or Aunt."

"Honestly, I don't know what I would do," she said, swirling her wine glass. "It's a lot to ask someone."

"I'm not trying to force her to be a mother, Kathryn, but I don't want someone in his life that is going to treat him like he is less than what he deserves. I'm trying to make the best decision for Henry."

"Emma is not your mother. She would never look at him like a burden."

"She already is," Regina snapped back.

Kathryn looked up at her. "She isn't, Regina. You aren't giving her enough credit here. How would you feel in her shoes?"

"I'm trying to put Henry's needs first. Not Emma's."

"I understand that, but you aren't considering hers at all," Kathryn said as Regina sighed. "I know you are overwhelmed right now, but you need to stop pressuring her. She's overwhelmed as well."

"I'm not pressuring her. I've barely talked to her at all."

"And that's pressure in and of itself. You need to talk about things instead of leaving her to think this is it. A real couple is a team. You can't shut her out."

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"You are starting to look pretty good on that broom," Emma said as she leaned against the bleachers.

"Really?" he asked. He looked down at the borrowed broom.

"Yeah. Better than me at your age."

"No way. You're amazing."

"Yes way. I had to practice a lot to get where I am now," she said, taking the broom and looking it over. It was an old Cleansweeper. Perfect for a newbie.

He watched her look over the broom. "Do you think my new family will have one I could use this summer?"

"A broom?" She shrugged. "Anything is possible," she said, looking away. "I always borrowed one from the other kids in the neighborhood."

"Oh," he said.

His mind clearly drifted to homes that had little to offer a boy his age as entertainment. She wondered what his face would look like when he realized he was going home to a mansion stocked with all the things he could ever need.

She wished she could tell him.

"Guess, I'll have to make more friends."

"Some of your friends will probably live nearby. The magical world isn't all that big." She knew for a fact that Mary Margaret lived in an estate very close to Regina's. Not that Mary Margaret could stay on a broom for more than a few minutes without nosediving, but she would be there.

And Emma wouldn't.

Maybe Regina would let her come by and hang out with him. She shook off the thought. Knowing Regina, she would agree just to make Henry happy even if it killed her to watch them together. It wouldn't be fair to show her what could have been only to take it away all over again. Maybe, she could take a vacation to the States for the summer. Take away the temptation.

She had imagined a lazy summer with Regina, free from responsibility. Most days spent just spent just enjoying being together. She had wondered if she would even need her sublet or if Regina would invite her to stay with her. Henry fit into the picture easier now that she'd had some time to get used to the idea and it hurt.

"Do you think I could use a broom in the play? Instead of just climbing over everything?" he asked, looking down at the loaner broom. "That would be so awesome. Could you imagine?" he asked, his eyes going distant as he imagined swooping around the set.

"I can imagine you breaking your neck," she said, looking up at him.

"Oh, come on with you directing me I'd be fine."

"Yeah, I don't know about that. How many times did you fall today?"

"You're a teacher. Teach me. I already know all of my lines. Come on!"

Emma hummed. "I'll think about it."

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The day of the game brought a cloudless sky and a warm sun. She couldn't remember a more beautiful day. Spring would be coming soon. She stretched her muscles out before climbing a top her old trusty broomstick. The familiar feel of the broomstick in her grasp allowed her to relax. It wasn't a particularly heated match. Ravenclaw had pretty much sealed the Cup in their last match, but neither Hufflepuff nor Slytherin wanted to end the year in last place.

From her view up in the sky, she could see Henry. He was trying to be an equal opportunity supporter, but she could see members of the Drama Club pressuring him to pick a side. Mary Margaret wrapped her Slytherin scarf around his neck proudly while he laughed.

Regina appeared behind them and snatched Belle's Ravenclaw knit cap off her head and squished it on his head. Henry grinned up at her and she wished she could hear what they were saying. It was nice to see them trying. Regina had been using a soft touch since she found out, integrating her relationship with him with the other students so he wouldn't feel guilty.

Eugenia and Ruby were clearly grumbling all decked out in Hufflepuff paraphernalia as they passed them on their way to their seats. Ruby shouted something at Regina who simply smirked back.

She looked around for Neal and Tamara and found them settled into the Slytherin guest section. She held back a laugh at the sight of Neal dressed in silver and green. She couldn't even see the infant through the Slytherin colors.

Up on her broom, she felt happy for the first time in what felt like ages. The people she cared about were happy. She only wished she was down there with them.

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Emma nursed a drink in the bar as she waited for Neal to help Tamara get the kids settled for the night. While she was waiting, Regina, Kathryn and Frederick arrived. They smiled and she waved at them. Frederick squeezed Kathryn's arm and came over while the two women took over a table off to the back.

"Hey, if you want us to head upstairs I'm sure I can convince them," he said.

"Nah. I'm just waiting for Neal Gold. I won't even notice you guys," she replied with a smile.

"Alright. If you're sure."

"I am."

"Nice job today. You really know how to handle a broom. I'd love to have you ref more next year if you are interested."

"That sounds good, Fred," she said, waving her drink.

"Awesome. Well, I'll leave you to it. Have a good night."

"You too. Tell them I said hello."

"Will do."

Neal came down just as Frederick was heading back over. They nodded at each other and his eyes spotted Fred's party.

"You want to go?" he asked, sliding onto the stool beside her.

"Nah. It's okay."

"Because if you do…"

"It's okay, Neal. We aren't teenagers in a fight."

He looked unconvinced. "Let's get a table." He looked toward Regina. "Actually, let's go upstairs. I want to be able to hear your tale of woe."

Emma rolled her eyes, but followed him up to the private rooms. Her eyes met Regina's for a moment as she hit the stairs and she shrugged. Regina smiled weakly.

Emma wished for a second that she was bringing Neal over to officially meet her as her girlfriend instead of following him upstairs to tell him about their break up. They had both heard so much about the other over the years. It made her chuckle to herself imagining Neal give Regina the "don't hurt my friend again" conversation. Too late for that, she guessed.

"So, tell me about it," Neal said, after their pitcher of beer of beer arrived.

"She's adopting a kid," Emma said, filling her glass.

"Shit. Wow. So is she quitting?"

"No. He's a student. A first year named Henry. She wouldn't need to quit."

"Wow," he said, scratching his neck. "That's like every dream we ever had."

"Yeah. I know."

"So, how is this is a problem?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"You know how I feel about kids."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?"

Neal shrugged. "So she just blurted this out to you when you told her you didn't want kids and ended it?"

"Not exactly."

"Not exactly?"

"I overheard a conversation. It's a long story and unimportant. She told me we were over if I couldn't see myself as a mother someday."

"Well, shit," he said, rubbing his scruff, "I hate to say it, but that's fair."

Emma groaned. "Why would she start something with me if she didn't know I wanted kids?"

"Maybe I'm wrong, but I know a lot of people that don't want kids and you don't seem like one of them." She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Hear me out, Ems," he said, taking a swig of his beer. She waved him on as she took a sip of her own. "Most of the people I know that don't want kids are career driven or hate kids. Or they understand themselves and know they wouldn't be a good parent. That's not you. You would be a great parent. You just seem afraid."

"I am afraid, but I also know I would be a terrible parent. What do I know about family? How could I have one of my own?"

"You know more about family than you think. What did I know about family and look at me now. You've always told me about Regina's exacting standards. Would she have chosen you if she didn't think you could do it?"

"She didn't choose me, Neal."

"She did. By getting into a relationship with you, knowing that this kid Henry was going to be a part of her life, she chose you as her co-parent. Her family. You think your decision is scary, imagine hers."

"Well, she should have asked me if I even wanted her to make the decision. She probably only chose me because I'm an orphan and can cover any of the orphan problems. Maybe that's why she went after me in the first place," she grumbled into her beer.

"You and I both know that woman would not choose you because of something like that," he said. "You haven't told her no, yet, have you?"

"I told her I'd think about it."

"So are you actually thinking about it?"

"He's a good kid, Neal. I could see it all so easily," she shook her head, "but I don't think I can do it. I've never felt that unconditional love that kids are all about. I wouldn't even know where to begin. What if I'm one of those parents that doesn't love enough? I don't want Henry to feel unloved. I think that's good enough reason to not have a kid."

"Emma, I know you. There's no way that kid would ever feel unloved around you."

"I've only had to care for myself for so long. I don't know how to put someone else first. Just the idea of being with Regina was daunting. Now add a child and it's just unfathomable. I'm scared I'm going to fuck him up."

"You can't let fear run your life, Em." He gave her a look. "Look, you have every right to be scared. Children are terrifying, but you aren't a coward. Don't lose your chance at happiness just because you're afraid."

"I have the right to be a coward when other people are at stake, Neal."

"You are hurting them either way."

"How so?"

"You don't think Regina is hurting right now?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Henry isn't."

"Yeah, but his life would be better with you in it."

"I just don't know."

"You know I love you, Emma. I don't want you to regret this the rest of your life. You wouldn't be alone in this. Regina would be there the whole time."

"The last time I took a chance on Regina, it blew up in my face."

"You were teenagers. That what usually happens. You're adults now. Look, I'll be there, too. So will Ruby and Granny and everyone else. You won't be alone in this."

"Someday I'll disappoint him and that would kill me. I don't know if I can handle the constant heartbreak of being a parent. I'm not his best chance, Bae."

His face softened at the use of his old nickname. "I know you, Emma. You could be his best chance if you wanted to be. You want to be, right?"

"He deserves better than me."

"I'm sure he deserves the world, but right now you are what he has."

"He has Regina."

"He could have you, too. You deserve your chance at a family, Emma. Deep down if you want this you need to at least try."

"Just because I want something doesn't mean I should do it."

"Do you love Regina?"

Emma sighed. "I do."

"Do you love the kid?

"I think so."

"Then I think it's worth a try."

"I just don't know. Forever is a long time. I don't trust myself."

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews and whatnot. I'm acautionarytale over on Tumblr if you have any questions about the story. I'm usually better about responding over there.