AN: Hey guys, and welcome to chapter nineteen. First things first. A Guest left a review and said that he's sending his sincerest pat-pats for my shitty love life; if you remember, I kinda told you guys that I went through some crap regarding my crush in my AN for chapter seventeen. I don't know whether he's being sarcastic or not, but nevertheless, do tell me if my ANs annoy you or make you feel uncomfortable. I want your reading experience to be as smooth as possible, so please tell me if anything I write interferes with this. Anyway, I took his suggestion to underline the chapter name so that you can differentiate the AN from the content, since they are both in regular text now.
Also, LunaBloom, you are so right! I reread chapter eighteen and Zackly is kind of Dumbledore-ish. Hahaha. I didn't mean for him to be that way. It just happened. Harry Potter is my favorite book series, so I guess JK Rowling did rub off on me. Anyway, I hope that was a compliment, and if not, do tell me how to improve the dialogue — you know how much I value your opinion.
Anyway, on with the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.
Chapter Nineteen
"Are you ready?"
Annie turned around to look at Armin, who stood under the shade of a nearby tree, a clipboard in hand. He wasn't wearing his usual Survey Corps uniform, but was instead clothed in a simple white shirt and military pants. She wondered why he had chosen to discard his jacket — summer has finally ended and a slight chill was already in the air.
On either side of him were Scouts Annie did not recognize, and she noticed that unlike Armin, they had their ODM gears on and their blades out. However, their swords weren't directed at her, but was instead subtly pointed at Armin's side. She wasn't stupid; Annie could see the threat for what it was. Mess up and we'll kill him.
But she did not mind the two soldiers who were standing guard on Armin. It was her former comrades that she was cautious of. Her classmates from the 104th all stood at the far end of the open area with none other than Captain Levi, staring as if they were waiting for her to make a wrong move.
Eren had a hard look in his eyes as he regarded her, perhaps because he was thinking of the last time they had fought. Mikasa, she noticed, had her gear on, and seeing her face again left a bitter taste to Annie's mouth. She recalled the time when Mikasa had sliced off her fingers when she was scaling Wall Sina, and her words — "Annie. Fall." — had haunted Annie's dreams since then. Still, despite their lack of a warm welcome, she knew she had to impress upon them the fact that she was trying to do good now.
A few days ago, she had told Hange and Commander Erwin that she was ready to help the Survey Corps. The two of them exchanged looks when she had said it, and Annie did not know where the hesitation was coming from — they wanted her to cooperate, right? There she was, finally telling them that she was willing to lend them her Titan powers, but all she got was a raised eyebrow and a frown. Annie felt sweat gather near her hairline. What if they found out the real reason she was doing this?
"What changed your mind?" asked Commander Erwin after a long silence.
Annie shrugged. "I simply want to get out of this cell."
"I see," he said. "That's all?"
She sighed. She knew she had to push it further. "Also... I want my friends to see that I regret what I've done and am willing to join their side. I want redemption. There's no place for me to go home now, not when I had failed to take the Coordinate."
The Commander had studied her then and eventually nodded, asking Hange to ask Supreme Commander Darius Zackly for permission. Annie felt relieved, but she also felt conflicted. When she had spoken of her reason for switching sides, the words seemed too true for her liking. The Commander's eyes roamed around her cell. She noticed that his gaze lingered on the book Armin had left on the wooden chair next to her bed, but he did not say anything.
Annie guessed that they thought that she was doing this for Armin's sake, and she almost laughed with how wrong they were. She closed her eyes as she breathed in the fresh morning air, which was crisp and cold. Annie stretched her arms up, relieving some of the tension from her sore muscles. She looked at her palms, whose wounds had completely healed now, and she knew that it was the right time.
She nodded her head towards Armin's direction to let him know that she was ready, and he said, "Alright. Annie, this is just a training exercise, so all you have to do is transform and from there follow Hange's instructions. Are we clear?"
"Yes," she replied. She lifted her hand up to her mouth and bit down on it hard.
Lighting struck the spot where she stood, and Annie felt the familiar tugging sensation in her gut. Her arms stretched, her body became heavier, and her height shot up. She watched as the ground became further and further away, and when she had lifted her gaze, she was already looking at the streets of Wall Sina and all the tiny rows of houses along them.
Someone landed on Annie's shoulder. She turned her head to see Hange standing there, holding on to a lock of her blond hair to keep her steady. She nodded and grinned widely as she took in the view before her. The brown-haired scientist let go of Annie's hair and spread her arms out, closing her eyes.
"Wow," she breathed. "It's amazing up here!"
Annie wanted to tell her that this was nothing unusual. For someone who spent the rest of her life swinging through trees and buildings using the ODM gear, Hange looked almost like she had never experienced being so high up. Annie can't say anything, however, as it would only come out as a roar, so she rolled her eyes instead, which apparently looked weird to all the people watching her.
She heard someone laughing from below. Annie bowed her head to see that Armin was looking at them, an amused smile on his face. He must have seen her earlier expression, and Annie raised her giant hand, gesturing to Hange and letting out a huff to show him her exasperation. Armin laughed again, and Annie cracked a small smile.
She marveled at how well they communicated without words, may she be in her human or Titan form. He always seemed to know what she was thinking even before she could say it out loud, which really sucked when she had thought about it. What if he found out about their escape plan? Would he try to stop her, or would he beg her to stay and remain on their side? Annie did not know, but all she knew was that hearing him laugh because of her made some small part of her giddy with happiness. Was this what life would always be like if she truly joined the Survey Corps? She did not expect it to be all smiles and joyful laughter, but she did know that it would be one of acceptance and loyalty — a thing she can't really say about the life that awaited her.
She shook her head to clear out her thoughts. Three weeks from now, she, Reiner, and Bertholdt would be escaping the walls and would be heading home. She would leave Armin and everything behind, but today she would allow herself some small bit of happiness. Annie followed Hange's instructions down to the last word, and seeing Armin's encouraging smiles made her feel like what she was doing was actually worth it. Today she could pretend that she really was a part of the Survey Corps, that she was an ally to humanity, that she was a good person like Armin had told her so many times before.
Annie took all these feelings in, and for once she was truly happy, regardless if it was only for a short while. Temporary bliss was still bliss, after all.
Annie was victorious. She had successfully taken Eren and was now making trying to make her way out of The Forest of Giant Trees. She felt a twinge of guilt at having killed Captain Levi's whole squad, but she reminded herself that it was a necessary thing in order to get a hold of Eren. If anything, she felt more remorse in killing Gunther more than anyone else, as she had killed him using her blades instead of her Titan form. Killing someone when she was in her human body made the whole thing much more realer, unlike when she was in her Titan form where she could distance herself away from their deaths.
Annie had seen too much death, most of them brought about by her own hands. There were times when she felt like she can't even look at her hands, because if she did they'd all be covered in red no matter how hard she tried to scrub them off. When Armin held her hand, she sometimes imagined the blood sticking to his palm, too, as if just being with her made him a sinner as well. Annie always had to remind herself that everything was just an illusion and that the only real thing was her mission and her home.
Home. If she got away here safely, she could finally return home.
A shiver suddenly went up her spine, warning her of danger. Annie dared not to look around, but instead narrowed her eyes to the side and saw two cloaked figures moving across the trees. She recognized the Survey Corps insignia on their clothes, and she prepared herself for a fight. Annie waited for the right time to strike, and when she had felt one of them closing in, she suddenly turned around and punched.
She hadn't expected Captain Levi to dodge her attack and cut his way through her arm, though. She watched with wide eyes as he spun across her skinless arm until he was face to face with her. She only had time to look at him fearfully before he buried his blades through her irises, robbing Annie of her sight. She stumbled back, clutching her ruined eyes, as Captain Levi sliced off her ankles, which knocked her off her feet. Annie fell down on her butt, and Humanity's Strongest continued on with his onslaught, cutting off her underarms, her knees, the back of her legs, every part of her being. Annie couldn't really feel much in her Titan form, but for some reason, Captain Levi's hits sent pain lancing up her body.
Captain Levi sliced off Annie's jaw, making her mouth drip open. He hopped on her teeth and took Eren, and all Annie could think about was, No, please don't take him. We need him. But even if she could speak, she doubted Mikasa and Captain Levi would listen to her.She heard them go off, leaving her defeated form leaning against a giant tree. Annie could feel tears flowing down her eyes, unaware that the action was replicated on her Titan form. She knew she shouldn't have celebrated her capture of Eren too early — he had people who would do anything to bring him back, unlike her. In The Forest of Giant Trees, it was only her. It always was.
Annie sat under the shade of a nearby tree, resting. Her training had just finished, and she waited as Hange and Armin went off to report her progress to Commander Erwin. She raised her head to the sky to avoid the soldiers' judgmental looks, but her view was blocked by several people standing before her.
Annie bit her lip. In front of her was the whole squad: Eren, Mikasa, Connie, Sasha, Jean, Ymir, Christa, Reiner, and Bertholdt. She clutched the flask tightly in her hand, waiting for them to speak.
"So you finally decided to help us," said Eren levelly.
She nodded. "I did. That's the plan all along, wasn't it? Wasn't that the reason the Survey Corps fought for my custody?"
Christa smiled and reached her hand out to her. "Yes, it is. We're glad you came around, Annie."
"Christa's right," said Reiner. You know exactly why I'm doing this, Reiner. Annie threw him a dirty look, but all he did was shrug.
She turned away from Reiner and looked at the small blond. Annie was still surprised with how effortlessly kind Christa was. She hasn't changed, has she? Annie gingerly took her hand, but quickly let go. She noticed the others still giving her with suspicious looks, but she tried to ignore them and focused on Christa's warm smile instead.
Annie stood up and said, "What do you want from me?"
Jean looked scandalized. "After everything you did, I'm surprised you even have the nerve to ask us that."
"I —" she began, but her words was cut off by a fist suddenly slamming on her jaw.
Annie took several steps back, dizzy, as she held a hand to her swollen cheek. She glanced up to see Eren being restrained by Mikasa, but there was no need. The brunette had already put his arm down and was looking at Annie with a flat stare.
"I had to do that," he said. "It would make working with you so much easier."
Annie nodded, understanding. She spat some blood on the dirt and wiped the side of her mouth with her sleeve. "I deserved that," she said.
Mikasa's face darkened. "You deserve more than that."
"Punch me then," Annie told her. "Slap me. Stab me. Take turns, if you want. I'll accept everything you throw at me without complain. If that's what will make you feel better, then it's alright with me."
"I'd love to," said Jean dryly.
Connie shook his head. "We won't do that."
"Yeah," agreed Sasha. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Not all of you share the same opinion, then," said Annie, gazing at Eren, Mikasa and Jean. "But whatever. I'm on your side now, so we might as well try our best to work together."
"Of course," said Mikasa. She gave Annie a sharp look. "Armin believes in you, so we have no choice but to do so, too."
Does he? she wanted to say, but she stopped herself. Mikasa's words were like a slap to her face. Here she was, parading around as humanity's newest ally, when in truth she was only doing it in order to escape, which would guarantee Armin's death. She wondered if Mikasa would kill her here and now if she ever knew of their plan. Knowing her, she probably would.
"I wouldn't do anything to hurt him," she said, because she knew that was what they wanted to hear. "I've changed. I want to redeem myself."
Eren was unimpressed. "Prove it, then."
The rest left her, but Mikasa stayed behind. She pointed her blade at Annie, who remained rooted to her spot. Mikasa had a dangerous glint in her eyes, and Annie noticed some of the soldiers watching them, waiting to see if they should interfere. Captain Levi took a few steps forward. Annie gave the black-haired girl a challenging stare; she knew she couldn't hurt her here. Mikasa gritted her teeth and lowered her blade.
"The only reason I haven't killed you yet is because of Armin. Do anything to him, or try and take away Eren again, and believe me I will personally send you to your death." she threatened, and with that she walked off, following her friends.
Annie hadn't realized that she was holding her breath. She exhaled as she threw the flask to the ground, its contents spilling over the grass. She held her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Christa's smile and Connie and Sasha's refusal to hurt her came to mind, and she pretended that those were the only real things in the world. She was tired of the anger, the hate, the loss. She would let herself live in that illusion of smiles and friendship as long as she was still trapped inside the walls.
"Annie?"
Annie opened her eyes and saw Armin with a concerned look on his face.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
She touched the spot where Eren had punched her. Annie wanted to tell him what had happened, but all she did was shook her head. Armin did not push her, but merely nodded and said, "Come on, I'll escort you back to your new room."
They walked in silence, and Annie noticed that they were still heading towards the underground cells. When Armin saw her confusion, he nudged her elbow and said, "It's fine. You won't be going back to your cell. You'll see."
They turned a corner, away from the hall that lead towards the prison, and Armin lead her to a set of wooden stairs that led to a small tower, and up there, she saw, a simple, brown door with a rusty knocker waited.
"This is your room," said Armin. "It used to be the head of security's quarters, but it was long since abandoned. Technically, it's still underground, but hey, it's better than your cell, right?"
Annie shrugged and pushed the door open. The room was circular, with a wood paneled floor and a single, rose window. The bed was pushed to the left side of the wall opposite her wardrobe, and two rickety chairs was placed in the middle. Another door lead to what she supposed was the bathroom, and a mirror had been hung above her bed. It wasn't much, but Annie still appreciated the change. She would no longer be back in her dark and gloomy cell, bound in shackles and waiting for food rations. Being inside this room made her feel vaguely human again.
She walked over to the window and opened it. The fading sunlight came through her room, and Annie smiled with amusement when she saw that her room faced a large tree in the courtyard. She was awed with how large the HQ was — she could have sworn the courtyard was on the other side of the area.
"It's wonderful," she said.
Armin smiled. "Well, I'm glad you liked it. And, uh, you might want to treat that bruise on your cheek."
She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine."
"Alright," he said. "Eren packs quite a punch, does he?"
"How —"
"Do I really have to explain?"
"Actually, no."
Armin laughed softly and turned around. "I'll be off. Hange's waiting. She's... being way too enthusiastic, if you know what I mean."
Annie nodded. "Thank you."
Armin raised his eyebrow, smiling slightly. "You're welcome, I guess."
"No," she said, and she did not know why she wouldn't stop talking. "I mean it. Thank you. Remember that, okay?"
Armin gazed at her. Annie knew she sounded strange, but she kept her eyes on the view outside her window, not wanting to see his face. He must have caught the hint of a farewell in her words, but he did not say anything. She waited until she heard the door close behind him, and she snuck out through her window to meet Reiner and Bertholdt.