CFVY Reacts to Recaps!
A/N: Welcome, one and all, to Weiss Reacts! Boy, we have news for you today. Firstly, the announcement that yes, we will be doing the canon series now that it's finished, and there WILL be a Five Nights at Freddy chapter for Weiss Reacts, since you've all asked for it, and then a chapter pertaining to...*drumroll* Pokemon Omega Ruby, done by none other than Ruby! kukukuku im just so good at puns arent i
Hehehehe. Hehehe. Heh...I'm screwed, aren't I? J-Just read the chapter already-oh, wait! Hang on, I have an notice to give. From the 23rd of December to the 2nd of January, I'll be going off on holiday with relatives to America- likely nobody will actually be looking for updates of this crap on Christmas Day, but even so, expect sporadic updates for the next week. That's all for now!
DISCLAIMER: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, otherwise there would be more AH-related gags.
All mentioned characters and franchises belong to their respective owners.
"Fox." Yatsuhashi said, crossing his arms. "Explain this." He held up a picture of his sleeping self, with a sleeping Coco tucked in tightly to his right arm, snuggled up perfectly. The boy shrugged.
"Hey, don't look at me. Do I look like Yang to you?" Fox remarked.
"Then who took this picture?" Yatsuhashi inquired.
"Heck if I know. I didn't even get back to the dorm until you woke up."
The tall boy sighed. "Very well..." Sitting down in one of the dorm chairs, he sat back, resting. Velvet was still getting back from the Winter Animecon teams RWBY and JNPR had dragged her off to, allowing them a relative measure of peace for once. Thankfully, Coco- in her Coco personality- had taken it upon herself as a duty to clean up the dorm, putting all of Velvet's Weiss-related merchandise; Weiss plushies, pictures, posters and even Schnee-branded mint candy with Weiss' face on them- on shelves to make sure they didn't clutter up the floor, and putting out the lit candles to ensure nothing was set on fire.
Coco looked up towards them, a smile on her face. "Hey, guys, you need anything else?"
"No. And I told you, Coco, I you should've let me clean it." Yatsuhashi sighed. "You didn't need to put so much effort into it, especially considering you just recovered from being sick."
The beret-wearer shook her head. "N-no! Really! It's fine!"
"All the same, Coco, don't overexert yourself." Yatsuhashi cautioned her. Fox whistled.
"Man, you got a thing for her, huh?"
The tall boy glared at him. "Shut it, Fox."
"Only saying, acting all protective of Coco isn't gonna make you look exactly innocent." Fox shrugged, before whirling around and booting up the computer. "I'm bored. Wonder what stuff's on DustFiction?"
"Gods, don't remind me." Yatsuhashi rolled his eyes. "The last time we read that, Velvet was only interested in trying to get ways of getting Weiss to herself."
"Least you didn't get groped by Espresso..." Fox muttered, shuddering at the memory of Coco's alternate personality.
Coco blushed, rubbing the back of her head. "Y-yeah, sorry about that..." Sighing, she dusted her hands off and got up to sit next to the pair of boys, having finished cleaning the dorm.
"At least you managed to shut Fox up for a couple of minutes, there is that." Yatsuhashi commented. Fox frowned.
"Hey!"
"I don't tell lies."
Fox sighed. "Nice to know you like me so much." Sighing, the boxer looked through the DustFiction archive, until-
"...huh. Weiss Reacts? Isn't it that fanfic Velvet's obsessed with?"
"You mean the one Weiss always says is terrible?" Coco tilted her head. "Huh. It's Volume Two?"
"Volume One would presumably have finished a long time since." Yatsuhashi commented. "Well, I've got nothing else to do."
Suddenly, Elsa Schnee, Weiss' technical clone and adopted sister, poked her head into the dorm.
"Hello." The bookworm adjusted her glasses, looking around, clutching a book to her chest. "Is it permissible for me to stay here for the meantime?"
"Uh, sure." Fox nodded, pulling out a chair for her. "Is the library closed?"
"That is correct. Tukson closed it down to take down an inventory of the books in the library." Elsa nodded affirmatively, sitting down on the chair and opening her book. "I apologise for the intrusion."
"No problem!" Coco said brightly. She smiled at the bookworm. "Do you want anything to drink or eat? We haven't got too much here; just a bunch of biscuits and orange juice, but-"
"No thank you." Elsa calmly responded. "I appreciate the gesture."
"Oh, okay."
Yatsuhashi studied the screen, rubbing his chin. "Huh. Two-hundred and twenty four reviews...we must've missed this."
"Seriously?!" Fox's eyes widened, before looking away shiftily. "Huh...must be a pretty popular story..."
"Weiss always says it's terrible." Elsa chimed in. "I wonder why?"
Yatsuhashi looked over to Coco. "You have any suggestions?" The fashionista shook her head hastily.
"No, nothing. Let's read it!"
The boy sighed. He, personally, had never read Weiss Reacts before, but he'd heard all the rumours- it was terrible, an absolute masterpiece, it screwed with your head, it summoned eldritch horrors from beyond the veil of human comprehension, though that was most certainly a joke by Yang- but he was now curious as to what the story contained.
"Here goes nothing."
He opened the link.
"Dear Oum..." Fox stared at the screen, shocked.
"...these biscuits are really good!" He laughed, having taken a bite of the biscuits. "And you said you made these? Nice job, Coco!"
"Teehee..." Coco slowly crept up to him, giggling. "Right?"
"Yeah...hey, Coco, what're you doing? Coco? COCO?! Keep your hands o-off of there!"
Espresso smirked mischievously. "Mhmmmm...rock-hard...I see you've been working out~"
"Y-Yatsuhashi! A-A little help here! C-come on!"
Yatsuhashi ignored the pleas of his teammate, studying the screen. "Huh. I remember this. The night of the Kyubey Hunts and the grand assembly."
"As do I." Elsa noted, having shut her book and put it away. "Is it possible that this was written by someone here?"
"Don't think so. This doesn't look like someone's work here. Although, if I had to hazard a guess, Velvet wrote it- the writer seems to be fixated on writing about Weiss." The boy stated. "And that explains why Velvet was covered in branches and leaves that night...hm."
"Mhm." Elsa nodded. "You know, I wonder about something. Why does Velvet not attempt to kidnap me?"
"...I'd assume it's something about you not being the 'real' deal. Or, you know, having an absolute psychopath of a teammate and an incredibly competent ninja maid robot." Yatsuhashi commented briefly.
Elsa looked up slowly, her eyebrow going up a fraction of a centimetre. "I hardly take Minako as a psychopath."
"When she stops launching rocket-powered shopping carts down the hallway and taking to calling herself 'Shin-chan', then I'll stop."
Espresso, meanwhile, laid her head on Fox's chest and purred happily.
"Oh? Tired already~?"
Fox lay dazed, feeling too embarrassed by Espresso's unauthorized exploration of areas he didn't approve of to respond. The girl pouted, disappointed.
"Oh, how boring..."
"And of course Belladonna has a Beowolf for a pet." Yatsuhashi sighed exasperatedly. "What else should I have expected?"
"I personally like Cerberus." Elsa responded, her voice still monotone. "I find him to be cute."
Yatsuhashi merely stared at her for a moment, before shaking his head and moving to the next chapter.
"...dear Oum, their plans were even stupider than I thought they were." The boy slapped his forehead with his palm. "Seriously, dragging them out of their dorm with burlap sacks..."
Espresso crept up on him. "Mhm~ Props to Velvet for waiting so long and waiting for the right moment~ If it was me, I would've just leapt in and did it right then and there~"
Yatsuhashi glared at her. "Espresso..."
"I meant held the date there! Sheesh." Espresso sighed, shaking her head. "Not every thought I have is perverted~"
"Haven't given me much reason to think otherwise."
"Ah, you don't like me too much, do you?" The tease smiled. "But of course, you want your Coco back...oh, definitely...you love her, don't you?"
Yatsuhashi shook his head quickly. "N-no."
Espresso smirked. "Oh?"
She knew he was lying. The response was too practiced and too nervously spoken, his shaking too rehearsed.
"Yes."
"...I'll take you at your word~" Espresso giggled, turning to Elsa. Yatsuhashi, meanwhile, turned to the screen, reading the chapter he hadn't completed.
"...hm. For some reason that escapes me, Kyubey reminds me of that one girl from that band who visited a couple of days ago..." Yatsuhashi muttered. "...Ritsu, was it? Eh. Just me, probably."
"No, I noticed it too." Elsa said, completely ignoring Espresso's groping and feeling. The tease grumbled.
"T-that's not fair! W-why c-can she ignore me?! I-it's no fun!"
"Eh. If the rumours are correct," Yatsuhashi nodded in agreement, studying the portion of the chapter where Kyubey was being chased around by the Kyubey Patrol. "...he got what was coming to him."
"And Velvet and Pyrrha were interrupted." Elsa noted. "Curious, though. If the creature seems to like contracting those desperately wanting something, then why didn't he contract Velvet? Wouldn't he have gained much from doing so?"
Yatsuhashi sighed. "Oh, she's told this story MANY times, Elsa. Two years ago..."
Two years ago...
Kyubey stole across the Beacon grounds, attempting to evade the watchful eyes of Glynda or any other student who was aware of his status. He knew he was not welcome here, and that he had not succeeded in contracting a single student ever since that Glynda woman had become part of the staff, but he had to try- for the energy that could be derived from but one of these students was amazing. He had felt the immense power from Beacon, and such power could- no, warranted- exploiting.
If he could just find one contractor-
Suddenly, the Incubator could hear a sobbing nearby. His ears perked up as he looked to his left, seeing a strange, brown-haired girl, two rabbit ears popping out from her head, her head in one hand, clutching a picture of a white-haired girl in the other.
He tilted his head, his perennially unchanging smile increasing a mere fraction. This was his chance.
Kyubey strolled over calmly towards the girl, sitting down in front of her.
"What's wrong?"
No response. The girl continued sobbing.
"You seem to be crying. Is something the matter?"
"S-Sempai won't n-notice me..." The girl sobbed, clutching the picture. Kyubey tilted his head.
"I can fix that."
"Y-you can?"
"Just make a contract with me!"
The girl looked up from her sobbing. "R-really?"
"Sure! Just make a contract with me and all your wishes will become true!"
"...w-wait, contract? What for?"
"To become a magical girl!" Kyubey stated.
"...a-a magical girl? W-wait..." The girl paused. "...t-that means I have to be away from here, right? Go out into the world?"
"...yes!"
The girl's sobbing stopped. Kyubey sensed something change in the girl's eyes. Something...wrong.
"...and I have to be away from my Weiss-sempai?"
The Incubator hurriedly shook his head. "Of course not!"
It was too late, however. The girl drew a massive axe from her back- one which he had failed to see.
"N-no...I don't want to be away from my Weiss-sempai! She's mine! You just want me to be away from her!
YOU JUST WANT TO TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME, DON'T YOU?!"
"...Fiddlesti-" The Incubator didn't even get to finish his sentence before he was cloven in two by Velvet's Grimmbane axe.
Velvet skipped off happily, satisfied that she had horribly mauled the creature attempting to take her Weiss-sempai away.
"..." Elsa just stared at Yatsuhashi wordlessly.
"Seems her obsession was enough to shrug him off." The boy shrugged. "With that in mind, let's continue reading this. And by the way, Espresso's been feeling you up for the last five minutes."
"I'm aware." Elsa said flatly.
Espresso pouted disappointedly, desisting her groping of Elsa.
"H-hmph! You're boring!" The girl crossed her arms, sulking. "And Yatsu's no fun either..."
"...ugh..." Fox shook himself out of his daze. "...man..."
Espresso giggled, staring over at Fox hungrily.
"Oh, you're up for a second-eep!" She fell over instantly, a flick to the ear by Yatsuhashi ending her insanity.
"Right." The boy sighed. "Let's read the rest of this, shall we?" Turning back to the screen, he scanned the screen, nodding.
"I see. So...even less reason to envy team RWBY's dorm life." Yatsuhashi muttered. "I don't even envy Blake. Drinking pure capsaicin..."
"Indeed..."
"Pure capsaicin?!" Fox's eyes widened. "Isn't that like drinking pepper spray or something?!"
"Whatever this 'Sun Ragekong' fic is, it sounds...very, very un-Sun –like." Yatsuhashi commented. "Okay...so apparently, the next chapter is about Halloween. D'you guys remember what we did then?"
"Spent the whole night watching RWBY and me not getting anything done?" Fox commented sarcastically. "...yeah."
Mocha woke up, looking around and pouting.
"Where's my Velvet?! WHERE'S VELVET-CHAN?!"
"She's still coming back from Animecon, Mocha." Fox sighed. "Seriously, don't Coco and Espresso tell you these things?"
"Ugh, no!" Mocha pouted. "I want to hug he-" Yatsuhashi just flicked her in the ear again, knocking her unconscious and causing the girl to hit the floor again.
"Okay, she SHOULD wake up as Latte." Yatsuhashi rolled his eyes. "Okay, next chapter."
"...dear Oum, what were those idiots thinking?!" Fox looked at the screen in amazement and shock. "What?!"
"Seriously. Weiss, how easy are you to scare?" The tall boy rolled his eyes. "Seriously, I doubt her sanity sometimes, despite her being saner than the rest of team RWBY..."
Fox chuckled at the ending of the chapter. "And now I wish I tagged along with them. Must've been a wild night, scaring Weiss in the labyrinth and heading out to town..."
"I don't."
Elsa blinked. "I must share Yatsuhashi's sentiment."
"Better than sitting around in the dorm and trying to drag Velvet away from her Weiss plushies to play poker." Fox sighed exasperatedly. "Right, next chapter?"
The three then proceeded to read the next arc curiously, remembering their actions during the camping trip.
"Huh...that explains why Miss Faust was laughing so much." Fox nodded. "...seriously, though, how dedicated do you have to be to walk that far?"
"Or insane?" Yatsuhashi added. "Hardly the preserve of the sane to walk dozens of miles through forests full of Grimm."
Elsa looked just the littlest bit confused. "Huh. I will need to be informed of these events. I was in my tent for most of them."
"Basically, to sum it up, Weiss got scared by Professor Faust, they played truth or dare in RWBY tent, Weiss got kidnapped and rescued by the freaking Slenderman and stuff happened!" Fox detailed, gesturing with a flourish. "That enough?"
"Sufficient."
Yatsuhashi sighed, moving to the next chapter. "For some reason, us reading fanfiction feels utterly wrong."
"Why?"
"I just feel as if there needs to be more anger here. Isn't that how Weiss does this?" The boy commented.
"You got a point there." Fox shrugged. "Nonetheless, it feels like we have to do this. Do you feel that? It's weird. I dunno."
"Eh." The bookworm looked around. "Unless you have a suggestion as to what else to do."
"...I suppose..." The redhead sighed. "Yeah, let's just read this thing?"
The swordsman nodded. "I suppose. Very well...wait, I think I MIGHT have heard this fic before. 'We Were Close'?"
Elsa nodded. "Indeed. Let us read this. I, myself, have been looking to read this story and I'm curious as to what this fic might entail."
Indeed, the three did read the chapter.
Fox felt a sharp pain in his temple. "...you know ,reading about a fanfic about a real event kinda gives me a headache. You guys feeling it?"
"...nope." Yatsuhashi shook his head. "I DO feel like Blake seems uncharacteristically sensitive. And whoever this 'Mina Carfax' is, she's a huge pervert."
"Dear lord...from how Blake's describing her, she sounds like an even worse Espresso." Fox shuddered. "Can you imagine that?"
"I prefer not to."
"...at least I have the ease of mind, knowing that Blake and Weiss endorse this story." Elsa commented, nodding slowly.
END of PART 1
A/N: Don't worry, the whole week won't be recaps. The final chapter this week SHOULD be something different. Hopefully.
So, I hope you enjoyed that, leave your ideas, comments, suggestions, reviews, thoughts and criticisms and I hope you have a GREAT day! Until next time!