Chapter 21:

Emma's heart beat in time to the steady beeping of the machine, or was it the machine that matched her heart? She wasn't quite sure as she wiggled her fingers and toes testing the mobility of her sore body. Every muscle felt like it was waking up from a 20 year long nap, and had never been stretched. She opened her eyes slowly wincing at the bright lights that caused her migraine to soar. She didn't feel any real pain though, only a numb throbbing that covered her body. An effect of the drugs she thought to herself opening her eyes completely.

"Your awake." a familiar voice floated through her drug-induced state. The voice was soft and caring but it didn't belong here, it couldn't be him. "Em, Can you hear me?" A hand wrapped around hers holding it tightly.

"Ja..Jackson" she whispered, her voice cracking from lack of use. The sound of beeping sped up with her own heartbeat.

"Shhh….It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." Emma inhaled slowly.

"I shouldn't have left you with Carson. I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself. He did this to you because I let him, even after I promised that you wouldn't get hurt."

"Ma…Maria" Emma whined out trying to lift her head to seem him.

"Don't…don't get up. You're still really weak. She's fine just as I promised just let me talk. I'll get there." Jackson's voice was losing its calmness and turning to annoyance. Emma had felt enough pain already to not want to push him.

Emma's eyes finally found Jackson sitting in a chair next to the hospital bed, his hand holding her hand. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and was dressed in the suit she had first meet him in, although it was now more ragged and stained.

"I wasn't far when I realized Em, that I didn't want to leave you there with that monster. Anyone else I might have left them there, but after Lisa…." Jackson's voice trailed off and smirked slightly. "See she was my job before you, the reason why everything was fucked up." Jackson stared of silently for several moments. "See, I've told myself that I had only underestimated her and she surprised me but the truth was, I surprised myself. When it came time I couldn't hurt her no matter how badly I wanted to, no matter how much she hated me." Emma watched him from the corner of her eye starting to feel the pain in his words. He was confused and lost, and she actually started to feel bad for him. "And that anger that filled me wasn't at her, but at myself. I was going to hurt her because she made me feel something."

"I didn't come to give you a sob story." He said straightening up again and this time locking his eyes on hers. "The point is, despite every bit of logic in my head, I came back for you. I was too late to do anything, the police were already there, but I came back." Jackson fell silent again. "I felt….Forget it" he said shaking his head and standing up. "That doesn't matter."

Jackson started pacing clearly lost in his own thoughts. He had kept his face clear of emotions before now, but Emma could read his every thought on his face. It was emotion, something he didn't understand or was used to. He was clearly puzzled by the feelings and had come to her to sort it out.

"I…I don't really understand it but, I got this feeling that even if I gave Maria to our boss, it wouldn't change anything. I'd be dead, and so would she. Again, I couldn't let that happen, so I brought her here. She's with her mother now, waiting outside to see you."

Emma's let out a deep sigh of relief. Maria was safe, so it wasn't all for nothing. Her embarrassment and pain were a fair exchange for Maria's safety. "Thank you." She chocked out with full sincerity.

"No!" Jackson practically shouted. "Don't…Don't say that. Don't be so nice after everything that's happened to you. You should Hate me, want me dead, hit the alarm and call for help."

"I don't" Emma started. Maybe she should she thought to herself, but even when he was hurting her she could see the remorse in his face. Just as she could see the confusion and pain it brought him now. "I hate…Carson. You protected me."

"No, I didn't. Don't you understand? I hurt you, I would have hurt Maria, could have killed you."

"But you chose not to." It was getting harder and harder for Emma to talk, her body feeling weak again and her eyelids were falling heavy.

"You have too much faith in me Emma, but I am on the run now. My boss isn't happy that I didn't deliver on the kid and those tapes. It's my fault that they might come for you. So…IF you forget everything else I've said, then that's fine. But please. Do not broadcast that I worked for someone else, or they will come for you, and here." Jackson reached into his pocket and pulled out a card slipping it into her hand. "Please keep this, and if you're in trouble. Call me. I owe you."

"Wait…" Emma started, but she could feel the new wave of drugs taking over her system and staying awake was taking more strength then she had. Jackson leaned over and kissed her forehead gently.

"Sleep Em," he started whispering in her ear. "I'm sorry." Emma wanted to stop him, her confusion too much to decipher or understand, but she couldn't fight her drowsiness any longer and drifted off to sleep.