Chapter twenty one: told by Omi

I stopped the car and looked at Daisuke in the seat next to me. I had bandaged his wound but it was still bleeding badly. I walked up to the hospital doors were the head surgeon was waiting. I recognized him and he smiled at me.

"Good Evening Takitorisan," he said as he shook my hand.

I gave him a nod and he said "The patent is in the car am I right," he asked? Another nod and he quietly asked "Weiss?''

"Yes, and he got a nasty sword wound in his stomach. He's bleeding badly but still it looks like it's only skin deep," I told the surgeon.

"I'll get right on it," he said as he made a gesture with his hand and already a stretcher was being brought out. I looked down at his face as I laid him down on it and I suddenly felt disgusted with myself.

"Take good care of him. Call me as soon as you get done operating on him and tell me what happened," I told the man.

I sat in the seat of the car and flipped the visor down. I looked in the mirror at myself and said "You're so disgusting. The fact that you would try to strangle a kid like that to death is sickening."

"That it is," a familiar voice said. I looked to see Schuldig was standing by my car. I got out and looked at him.

"How did you know I would be here," I asked him?

He tapped his shirt pocket were he kept his cell phone and said "Nagi told me to check up on you. He said you looked different when you left."

"In my car. Shut the doors. We'll turn the air on. You don't have to put your cigarette out ." I told him as I tried to control myself.

I was shaking like I had never before and I knew what it was from. It was from disgust in something I couldn't get rid of. It was from disgust with myself.

He got in the car and looked at me for a second before he said "I didn't think I would ever find you so mad at yourself."

I met his eyes and said "He did everything I told him to without question when every bit of it was me trying to get him killed because Nagi wouldn't let me do it myself and now that he might die I'm feeling like a murderer. I don't even want to know how many I've directly or indirectly killed but when I realize this I feel guilty for the first time."

He took a drag off of his cigarette and said "I've killed seven hundred thirty nine people that I know of. Their last thoughts are always in my head. I can pay more attention to one thing or the other but hearing thoughts is like hearing words. The louder ones are always heard."

"I don't have any idea of how many people I've killed and I don't think I want to. It doesn't matter though because most all of them were scum who needed to die. Daisuke was just a little boy who was doing something to feed himself even if it was something evil. He didn't exactly have much of a choice. If I were him I would of done the same thing," I told the telepath.

He gave a nod and said "I've learned that for people like us right and wrong don't exist. It's just lesser degrees of evil. We can't be good people with the blood on our hands but we can be the lesser of two evils. The kid never hated you but he also never liked you much either. He doesn't have much feelings either way about you but it's always better then they like you."

"Speaking from experience," I asked him?

He gave a nod and said "Crawford smacked Nagi around. Neither of us liked that so we left and found work elsewhere. Now him and Farf are probably looking for more people to help them or going out alone. Doesn't really matter either way to me though. I'm just glad I got Nagi away from him."

I looked at him and asked "You love him don't you?"

He nearly choked on smoke. He let out a few coughs before he said "Not the way you do but yeah I love him. I trust him with you because you take good care of him. I know you always will. I know you'll also take care of Weiss. You're good at taking care of people in the way they have to be taken care of. You should get some sleep."

With those words he left the car. I thought about them before I allowed myself a weak smile. I looked in the mirror and said "You don't deserve this second chance but you still got it. Don't blow it."