RWBY Abridged
A/N: This episode is kind of short, but please PM me some ideas for future episodes. Enjoy :)
Volume 2 Episode 5
The song "Eye of the Tiger" begins to play as Pyrrha is getting ready in the locker room. Pyrrha fights Team CDRL by herself and exits the locker room at the same time. Contine playing "Eye of the Tiger" until Cardin is out.
"Daym, bitch." Cardin said, and falls over.
"Huh, so you can take on Team CDRL by yourself." Glenda Goodwitch said. "Now let's get more action going. Blake why don't you go next?"
Blake looks around.
"I'll do it." Mercury said.
"Ok so who do you want to fight?" Goodwitch said.
"Enee, meenee, minee, Pyrrha." Mercury said.
"Say what?" Pyrrha said.
"Uh, do you really want to fight her?" Goodwitch said.
"Sure. She's hot." Mercury said.
"Too much info, but I don't think she's up for it." Goodwitch said.
"It's ok." Pyrrha said. "I think I can handle a douche."
Mercury enters and the song "I'm gonna knock you out!" begins to play.
Mercury and Pyrrha fight, and he falls over while doing back flips.
"Watch my Obama impression." Mercury said and makes his "not bad" face.
"Wow your boyfriend is doing good." Ruby said to Emerald.
"Bitch, he a'int my boyfriend." Emerald said.
Mercury and Pyrrha continue to fight. (Insert cliche kun-fu sounds here.)
Mercury readies his kick, but Pyrrha uses her magnetism powers to move his leg.
"Oh shit, it's Magneto!" Mercury said. "I'm out."
Pyrrha stops herself from hitting him.
"Dafaq? You don't want to fight back?" Pyrrha said.
"You got me. I can't because I am a douche after all." Mercury said and Pyrrha is annoyed with him. "Problem?" Mercury said with a troll face.
"Next time you might want to think a little harder before you go in." Goodwitch said.
"That's what she said." Mercury said and walks away.
The bell rings.
"I'm awake! I'm awake!" Blake said. "Ugh, why does it have to be my time of the month?"
They all walk outside.
"I totally nailed that line." Mercury said to Emerald.
"Hey Blake!" Sun said.
"What?!" Blake said.
"So there's a dance coming up, you wanna... you know." Sun said.
"Dafaq?" Blake said.
"I'm just asking." Sun said.
"Zidane called, he wants his tail out of your ass, Kuja." Blake said and walks away.
"Ouch..." Ruby said.
"... I am Zidane!" Sun said.
They go back to the dorm room.
"An intervention?!" Blake said.
"Look, we both know it's your time of the month, but we noticed you've been taking some 'cat nip' too." Ruby said.
"I do not have a nip problem!" Blake said.
"And you just came up with that phrase just now." Yang said.
"You can't eat, sleep, or even bathe, and you defiantly got a problem." Weiss said.
"I'm a fucking cat! I don't bathe!" Blake said.
"But we need to help you." Yang said.
"Yeah we can help." Ruby said. "Rehab, medication."
"Our foots kicking your ass." Weiss said. "It could work if we tried."
"Your not helping." Yang said.
"But if we fix you up now, we can go to the dance together." Ruby said.
"Yeah! Yuri girls night!" Yang said.
"It could work." Weiss said.
"What do you say?" Ruby said.
"I'm getting really tired of your shit people." Blake said and walks out. "I'll still want to do yuri stuff though." Blake said.
"At least she's up for it." Yang said.
There was a knock at the door and Weiss answers it.
"What in the-?!" Weiss said and Yang and Ruby looked too see it was Jaune with a guitar.
"WEISSSSSSSSSSS!" Jaune said and Weiss slams the door on him.
Weiss facepalmed. "I'm going to open that door again, and if your still there Jaune, I'm going to kick your ass!" Weiss said and opens the door again.
"Surprise!" Jaune said. "'Weiss, oh Weiss, join my harem! We can-' well you know." Jaune sang.
"Here's my answer." Weiss said.
A couple of seconds later.
Ruby falls over and Yang speaks.
"What did you just do?" Yang said.
"I shoved that guitar up his ass." Weiss said, feeling proud.
"Let's try to work on the subject at hand." Ruby said.
Jaune and Pyrrha are practicing.
"You look like your uncomfortable." Pyrrha said helping Jaune up off the ground.
"Yeah... well it's kind of embarrassing." Jaune said.
"What it is it? Is it about the other night when you couldn't get 'it' work?" Pyrrha said.
"No, but your close..." Jaune said.
"Oh come on. I'm sure I can help if you know what I mean." Pyrrha said, placing her hand on Jaune's shoulder.
"It's Weiss." Jaune said.
"Oh. What about her?" Pyrrha said.
"I tried to ask her to be a part of my harem I'm starting, and she shoved a guitar up my ass." Jaune said.
"Ouch. Wait your trying to start a harem?" Pyrrha said.
"Well, I still have no actual purpose and yet I'm more focused than the other douchebags. So I think that starting a harem is what I'm supposed to do." Jaune said.
"You really are that desperate are you?" Pyrrha said.
"Just like how some male characters are." Jaune said and walked away.
"And a Baka too..." Pyrrha said.
MEANWHILE, AT THE-
"Shut up, you'll give away our position!" Cinder said to the narrator.
"So where were we?" Emerald said.
"We were talking about Pyrrha. That girl I fought." Mercury said.
"So what did you find?" Cinder said.
"Apparently, she is Magneto, but for some reason an actual girl." Emerald said.
"Bitch tried to fuck with my ankle bracelets too!" Mercury said.
"Oh no! Not the manly ankle bracelets you barely fire with!" Emerald said, sarcastically.
"Shut it you two!" Cinder said. "She's also not on the villain side. But maybe we can fix that. Get her number." Emerald saves Pyrrha's number
"Your going to date her or something?" Mercury said.
"Maybe I will. But we got to get info out of every single one of these people. It's working a little bit." Cinder said.
"Why do we just ransack the place to find the book?" Mercury said.
"Eventually we will get to...'The Point.'" Cinder said, looking at her needle. "What? No CSI music?" Cinder said.
-End-
A/N: So I'm going to work on more and Please PM me if you have any ideas the other episodes. I'll be taking some breaks too so I can work on other fanfics, but I will still post more chapters for the Abridged series. Hope you guys liked it, Review and Stuff. Thanks :)