I'm sorry it took so long for an update. Part of it was that I was busy, but the majority was that I was lacking inspiration to keep writing this. I kept trying to force things to happen, and it sounded bad. I went back and tried to redo it, but I can't tell if it worked or not. So, basically, this chapter, though it's important to the story, may not be that good...So I'm sorry if you guys don't like it.
You know the speech and the lectures. You know the drill. So please review.
CHAPTER 21
Ouch.
Oh, God, my head hurt.
My entire body ached, but my head was the worst. Throbbing, pounding, stabbing like a jackhammer on my brain…
When I came to, I was bound to a chair in a small, dark room. At first I was grateful for the darkness. Light would have agitated my wicked headache.
But then I recalled the situation and wasn't as gung-ho about the lack of illumination.
It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust, and then for me to get over the throbbing in my head to focus. While I tried to get ready to view my surroundings, I was trying to figure out how I could get out of my bindings.
Sadly, they were the plastic flex-cuffs that were next-to-impossible to get out of.
And then my entire plan of escape was wiped clear of my mind as a sickening sense of déjà vu swept over me. My entire body bristled and my heart fluttered into an arrhythmic pattern. This was exactly like Spokane, all over again.
I thought of Mason, my heart wrenching as the memories came pouring back. And then Eddie, whom I had lost soon afterwards due to another Strigoi attack. And then Christian, who had suffered through it too—
Oh, my God, Lissa.
I had completely forgotten about Liss. Damn this one-way bond! I could have used her help right about now.
Focusing on her, I slipped seamlessly into her perspective.
She was sitting at the table, enjoying dinner with her fiancé, his aunt, and Dimitri. Well, "enjoying" was a term used loosely. She plastered on a smile but was lost in thought. I took a selfish pleasure out of knowing that it was me on her mind.
However, it wasn't exactly flattering thoughts about me.
She was still torn over my fault—or at least, what she thought I had done. Tasha sure had done a fantastic job of ingraining her story into my friends' minds. Her allegations had ensconced easily, and it would be tough on my part trying to undo the damage she'd inflicted.
I heard her battles as she tried to determine who was right and who was wrong in her mind. She didn't believe that Tasha would do something so low, but she couldn't believe that I would either. She believed Tasha's side because I was known to have a temper, and it made sense that, being under so much pressure, there was a strong chance that I could have finally cracked. But when she saw me, and she saw my reaction, she believed that my response wasn't faked.
But she couldn't decide who was lying.
I wish she knew it wasn't me.
I was furious and hurt that she didn't immediately have my back. We had been through so much together; I would move heaven and Earth for her—she should know by now that she can trust that I wouldn't lie to her. I couldn't say as much for her, lately, yet I still forgave her and vowed to be at my best around her. Yet despite my anger and disappointment over her lack of faith in me, I hated to say that I understood it, too.
Damn being mature. It was too complicated.
Had I been in her position, I would have had to do a double take, also. Especially considering Lissa had never seen Tasha the way I had seen her.
Lissa had to tune into something Christian was saying. She smiled and laughed dutifully, put in her two cents, and then zoned out again to contemplate whom she would ally with.
She was abruptly snapped out of it when she heard the front door slam. At first she tensed nervously, imagining it was me and fearing a heated faceoff between her guest and I, but then frowned in confusion when she saw it was Janine.
My mother's face was clouded. She was obviously irate, but I saw lines of concern aging her beyond her years. Lissa noticed this, too, and her confusion grew.
The girls ran in from behind their grandmother and immediately dispersed to their favored people. Viktoria ran to Christian, full of pent-up energy and zeal. Lexi, whose eyes were still glazed in exhaustion, went to Lissa. Liss picked her up in her arms and then stood, facing my mother.
"Guardian Hathaway," she greeted politely. My mother interrupted her sharply.
"Where's Rose?" she demanded.
Lissa's brow furrowed. Her eyes flickered to Lexi, and she wondered whether or not this was an appropriate conversation to conduct in front of the children.
My mother had no such qualms, even though I technically agreed with Lissa.
"She's not home. She won't answer her cell phone. I haven't found her anywhere around Court."
A chair scraped as someone jumped up. Lissa turned and saw it was Dimitri.
"Rose is gone?" His face was haunted, as though this were a fear of his, coming true.
I slipped away from Lissa just enough to scold myself. Don't look so much into Dimitri's intentions, I warned. He's on Tasha's side, too.
Forcing myself to forget about Dimitri and whatever his intentions were, I refocused on the conversation.
Janine's sharp eyes remained on Lissa. Lissa felt skewered under my mother's gaze.
"Have you spoken to her?" Janine demanded. Again, through the hard, cold, roughness in her voice, I heard the worry and despair.
"Not since earlier!" Lissa insisted, and then felt a stab of regret. Earlier…when she had accused me of being a liar. Lissa's inner monologue grew panicky, her ramblings rising to a shout in her head.
Please don't let that be the last thing Rose hears from me, she exclaimed. Where is Rose? She was so distraught earlier…did she run away?
As quickly as the idea popped into her mind, she expelled it. For good reason, too. No, she would never leave the twins.
Thank God she had at least some sense.
Lexi's head drooped against Lissa's shoulder, but my daughter's eyes stayed open. I longed to be there, to be the one holding her, to feel her forehead and make sure that she was better.
Viktoria was laughing quietly with Christian, who was doing a pretty damn good job of multitasking. He managed to keep Viktoria pleased while also tuning in to the conversation between his fiancée and my mother. Usually when I was involved in something with my daughters, that was the only thing I could focus on.
Janine's face clouded further. I knew that that was not the reply she had hoped for.
Dimitri spoke again. "What do you mean you can't find Rose?"
My mother's face darkened in anger. It didn't take a genius to understand that she was less than happy about Dimitri's involvement in this conversation. She opened her mouth to chew him out, but Christian interrupted.
"Are you sure she didn't have some guardian business to attend to? As head guardian, there are lots of things that just…pop up." He spoke benignly, with a level, unbiased tone. For once, Christian was the voice of reason out of everyone in the room.
Janine looked a little less concerned, but still disconcerted. As much as I hated to watch her distress over me, I was thrilled that she was picking up that something was wrong here. Maybe that meant they would be able to help me out now.
Lissa calmed slightly at Christian's words, as well. Dimitri remained standing, and I didn't know what Tasha did. Lissa wasn't concerned with her, and if Lissa didn't pay attention, I couldn't pay attention.
"Right," Liss said, easing back into her chair with Lexi. She was still concerned, but had been able to relax a bit with this new development. In her head, I could hear her inner reel on repeat: Rose is fine, absolutely fine…
Aloud, she suggested, "Why don't you call Hans, and he'll probably be able to relay the message. My guess is he's probably with her now, anyway."
Back in my own body, I felt my heart wrench with hope. Yes, talk to Hans. He would tell you that something happened. I just now remembered that I had broken an appointment with him.
Janine's cell phone was at her ear in less than thirty seconds. The ringing lasted longer, though, and the entire dining room was tense with anticipation. Finally, Hans' gruff voice sounded on the other end. Lissa couldn't make out his words past mumbles, so she only caught Janine's end.
"Guardian Croft, it's Guardian Janine Hathaway. I was hoping to speak to Rose." A mumble, and then Janine's face twisted into a frown. "I can't reach her." Hans spoke some more. "No, I can't find her or get in touch with her. I thought she might have been attending to some reserved guardian business." Her face clouded even more. Her eyes tightened—I don't think Lissa came to the same conclusion I did, but that tightening of my mother's eyes spoke legions to me. She was terrified, truly terrified, that something awful had happened.
When she hung up, she was demanded to reiterate the whole conversation.
"He hasn't seen or heard from her since this morning. In fact, she apparently missed a meeting they were supposed to have earlier." Her voice had gone flat. She was in guardian mode.
Lissa's heart began pounding, her blood rushing. Her calming mantra about my safety rapidly changed into a desperate jumble of dramatic pleas about where I could be and what I could be doing.
Lexi shifted on Lissa's shoulder, and my friend glanced down at my child. Her eyes lingered on Lexi for a moment, and I felt the emotion before I heard it in her mind.
Repulsion.
It wasn't that my daughters disgusted her or that she hated them—no, not by any means at all. She loved them, and always would—but this newfound churning fear that was ablaze in her gut was making her unstable. The thought of losing me was more than Lissa could handle, and looking at the two little mini-me's, she suddenly couldn't stand to be strong for them. She couldn't look at them and feel close to them—not until I was back home and safe again.
Uncomfortable now, she rose and handed Lexi off to Janine. Janine looked confused but didn't question her.
Liss paced, her thoughts running wild. She wouldn't have run away, would she? But the girls…she wouldn't have left them…
But how was she taken off Court? The only other option is a Strigoi, and the wards would block those out…
Wait.
Lissa's voice was firm but desperate, and cut through the tense air like a knife. "Adrian. She's probably with Adrian." I could hear how much she was hoping that was the truth. "She goes to his place when she's upset. He calms her down."
Well, that used to be true.
When no one else moved quickly enough, Lissa scrambled over to the phone and dialed Adrian's number.
He answered on the next to last ring. "Hello?" his words sounded slurred.
Lissa felt her hopes flounder. "Adrian," she said, "Is Rose with you?"
"What?" he mumbled. "No."
Lissa frowned, sidetracked. "Adrian, how much have you had to drink?"
"Only a few," he stumbled over the words. "Not that much. Why are you calling me?"
Lissa breathed through her mouth, trying to remain calm. Her imagination was running wild. Where is Rose? She kept screaming. "Adrian, Rose is gone."
He slurred, "She's probably in some probationary meeting after the stunt she pulled earlier."
"No, Adrian, she's completely disappeared."
He kept mumbling. Lissa felt her concern and frustration bubble over. "Adrian, goddamn it, how much have you had to drink? This isn't to medicate spirit, is it? You drank this much to get drunk!"
"Good job, darling," he drawled drunkenly. "Nice to know you're on top of the game."
Lissa resisted the urge to throw the phone against the wall. She also had to resist the urge to stomp her foot like a child. Taking a deep breath and battling to keep the hysteria from taking over, she said, "Adrian, Rose might be dead." The hysteria still crept through to the surface.
That finally shut him up.
"I don't think I heard you correctly," he mumbled, gaining some coherency. "What did you say?"
Tears threatened to fall from Lissa's eyes. "Rose is gone, Adrian. We can't find her."
Adrian was still too drunk to completely comprehend her words, but he was beginning to sober up. "Wait, what you do mean she's gone?"
Across the room, Janine snapped impatiently, "Jesus, get with it. She's gone, Ivashkov."
Lissa clutched the phone closer to her ear, trying to expel my mother's frantic attitude. If anyone lost control, Lissa wouldn't be able to hold it together any longer. I could feel her desperation bursting at the seams. It was only a matter of time before she would combust anyway, simply on her own.
I wished I could tell her to stay calm. I wished I wasn't causing her such distress.
"Can you get over here, Adrian?" she asked. "Or do we need to go over to your place—"
"I can get over there!" he grunted defensively. He was adamant about coming over, but Lissa doubted his ability.
"Okay, I'll just come over to meet you and fill you in on the way over—"
"No!" Adrian said, at the same time as another voice in Lissa's dining room. She spun around to see Dimitri, watching her intently. He was the one who had spoken.
"I'll go get him and bring him here. It will be quick and effortless, and he won't have a choice but to listen to me explain."
Lissa nodded numbly. She couldn't find the strength to argue.
Dimitri disappeared out the door.
Lissa disconnected with Adrian, ignoring his drunken protests about being able to get over to her place on his own. She turned to my mother. "Should we try to get in touch with someone?"
"Who?" Janine's voice, though cold and hard, was weak with worry. I wasn't sure if Lissa heard it or not, but I certainly did.
Lissa tensed, stress making her patience run thin. She started when Christian showed up behind her and put a comforting arm around her. She vaguely watched Viktoria run to Janine, who was already juggling Lexi.
Rose, where are you?
The door opened, interrupting her thoughts, and Adrian barged through. He wasn't sober, but he seemed to have faded out of a portion of his earlier drunkenness.
"What. The hell. Is. Going. On?" He demanded. "Rose is gone? How the hell is that even possible?"
Lissa spun around and finally took in the scene before her. Adrian looked rough; his hair was tousled—and not the purposeful way he normally styled it—and his clothes were wrinkled. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was swaying a bit. Behind him, Dimitri was standing formally; posture straight, with his hands behind his back. Lissa had to do a double take before noticing the expression on his face. It was…shocked? Horrified? Pained?
She couldn't find the right way to describe it, and neither could I. I had never seen that look of pain and horror on my Comrade's face.
Lissa nearly asked what was wrong, but bit her tongue. She didn't have time to worry about anybody else right now. I was her number one priority.
Janine's cell phone rang. Everyone turned toward her expectantly. My mother fumbled to open it, but did just as the third ring came to a close.
"Hathaway!" she barked. Her gaze was focused on the wall as she listened, and then her face drained of color. She swallowed, blinked, and then said, "But the timing—" She was obviously growing frustrated. She glanced at Lexi and then tried to motion to Lissa, but Lissa took a step back.
I felt Lissa's emotions churning. She wanted to be there for my children, but she couldn't bring herself to. There was still that nagging feeling in the back of her mind about my safety…
Janine looked surprised at Lissa's rejection, but didn't voice her feelings. Instead she attempted to juggle Lexi and her cell phone, looking even more frustrated now.
Adrian was too drunk to handle Lexi, or even Viktoria. Christian was too busy trying to keep Lissa sane to have to handle either of the kids. Tasha had enough sense to know that she would be blasted if she so much as offered to get anywhere near my kids.
Dimitri stepped forward, motioning for Lexi. Janine handed her off easily, not bothering with grudges or worrying about secrets.
Lexi immediately took to her father, cuddling into his shoulder and clinging to his body. He smiled down at her despite the tension in the room, and, very softly—Lissa barely heard him—whispered, "Don't worry, Sashen'ka. We'll find your mommy. I'm not ready to lose her either."
With a start, I was jerked out of Lissa's head. There was somebody close. The nausea was roiling in my stomach, and I felt my head whirling. The door opened, and I squinted as the bright light poured into the room. Just as quickly as the door had opened, however, it shut, and my eyes had to readjust again.
A shadow was suddenly in front of me. The light turned on somehow, bright light flooding my eyes, and I cringed.
"Well, lookie here, she's awake."
My eyes snapped open, despite the brightness of the lights, and I glared at the Strigoi before me.
"Go to hell," I spat.
It wasn't the same Strigoi as before. It was an older man, with glossy black hair that was cropped short. He was tall, but not as tall as Dimitri. A grin stretched over his face. The red-ringed eyes crinkled good-naturedly. He would have been cute were he not so evil.
"Now, now." He said in a mockingly placating tone. "Control yourself, dear." He reached a hand out to run it through my hair.
I bucked in the seat, but didn't make much of a difference. He only laughed, his hand running smoothly through my hair. Just as quickly as I amused him, though, I pissed him off. His hand suddenly fisted, gathering a twist of hair, and he jerked my head back. My scalp burned. I stopped moving.
"Do not," he growled, his face only an inch from mine, "make me regret bringing you here."
I was still for a moment, and then a bitter, mocking grin spread over my face. "Oh, believe me," I hissed back. "I'm going to make your life hell."
I expected him to get angry again, but he only laughed. "Well, you're funny. I'll give you that."
And then he turned, went out the door, and the lights went off behind him, leaving me in pitch blackness all by my lonesome.