Chapter 21
"Aberrant brain wave patterns observed in subject numbers 25 and 33, and now again in 55. The one common factor is a case history of disassociate identity disorder. Previous experiments on the prefrontal cortex led to degradation of sense of self, but there were unanticipated results here: suicidal thoughts of alternate personalities exhibited as attacks on the core personality. All self-consciousness waned, a sort of stasis was achieved, like two creatures sewn together and forced to live as one, eternally hating the other. Delicious." A digit clicked the stop button on the recorder, a heavy sigh following. Leaned back in the chair, Ruvik pondered taking another leap…connecting himself again to STEM. The outside world was deprived of all he needed to feel whole, to fill his own deep void. Their maddening screams and torment were the only lullaby that let him rest.
A glance to the clock told him it was nine thirty-five.
I've already nailed down twelve hours of work. No need to continue further tonight. The failsafe is in place. That was what I set out to do. No more playing games behind my back, Marcelo.
A gentle knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. "Come in."
Tatiana's slim hand turned the knob as she opened the door, sliding into the room before shutting it behind her. "Everyone has been returned to their rooms, though most of them seem to be worse after the experiment. Dr. Jimenez has turned in for the night. I was asked to tell you to do the same."
Ruvik's sidelong gaze met the woman's own. "He expects miracles when he doesn't even bother to be consistent."
The brunette woman frowned behind her glasses. "It must be frustrating."
"Quite. It is why you are here." Ruvik rose to his feet, snatching his jacket from the back of the chair before sliding it on.
"What do you need me to do?"
"Clean the tanks out, write down any observations you find pertinent when you check on numbers 25, 33, and…55." Ruvik checked his notes over once more. "After that, you can go home."
Tatiana's ruby lips curled into a smile. "I can do that." Her eyes followed the man as he moved. She felt compelled to say something. Perhaps it had always been in her nature to reach out to others suffering. "I…am sorry that things didn't work out."
Ruvik paused at the door.
"Between you and…Kid."
Under his bandages, Ruvik tried to hide a glare before opening the door and departing. It wasn't the nurse he was upset with.
I did this to myself.
"What happened?" Marcelo asked, sipping on his heated cup of coffee. It tasted like day old hell but he drank it anyway. The 24 hour gas station served nothing else.
Juli shook her head, leaning against the side of her car. "You tell me. I'm still half in the dark about what happened. You stuck me in his machine on their orders. He lost it." She made a gesture with both palms moving skyward. "I don't know, he just unraveled and then dismissed me like a servant in the course of five minutes."
"I'm not surprised. He is unstable…very paranoid and quite frankly the only reason he even wanted you was…"
Kidman lifted a brow.
Marcelo decided to spare the girl's feelings. "Well, that doesn't matter now."
"It matters to Mobius. He doesn't trust you, and they know it. They…asked me to watch him and…"
Marcelo's expression hardened. "They don't think I can keep him under control long enough to finish it?"
Juli nodded, deciding it was to her benefit to find an ally in all of the mess. "They went so far as to say I could use any means necessary to push you out of the way if things continued as they are. They want him to have a handler that he can't say 'No' to."
Shock erupted the age doctor's face. His expression settled after. "And…they're probably right. It was a mistake on their part and mine to put you in if that was their desire. It pushed him over the ledge and now he's putting as much distance as he can between me… and his impression of what you are." A soft snort and he shook his head. "What a fucking dramatic mess…" Finishing off the coffee Marcelo pondered for a moment, the heavy lines of his forehead lifting. "How about we make a compromise?"
"I'm listening."
"Someone like you… doesn't have the training or knowledge to run STEM. He is going to get rid of it once he is done with it. Mobius needs more operators for it other than Ruben himself."
"What is STEM exactly?" Juli asked.
"It is a device that will change everything from mental illness treatments to interrogation tactics used by law enforcement. It creates a world from the minds that are linked to it all at once. Within that, the possibilities are completely endless. What you saw… is STEM. Your thoughts, feelings, and memories all coiled together into a mass with more pathways than the brain itself has." Marcelo ran a hand through his thinning hair. "But, it is still in trial stages and hard to manage. I need to know everything I can about the machine in order to operate another for Mobius. They're building one in the basement of HQ. You should probably know about that." He looked at the woman thoughtfully. "I'm an old man running a hospital with little hope to be doing more than that with his life. Let me continue what I am doing. Let me help him make history, Juli."
Frosty tones laced her voice as Kidman replied. "Fine, I can agree that I have no reason to try pushing you aside at this point. What do I get in return?"
"My support and assistance, of course."
Juli let off a snort. "No offense, Doc… but I don't know what you could possibly do for me. I'm out of treatment; it isn't as though I need a prescription of Xanax filled."
Marcelo smiled briefly. "You never know. It's always wise to have friends, Juli. Especially those who know you entirely. As far as Ruben goes… I think we're both out of our comfort zones and carving a trail that is leading to nowhere."
"I agree. He's…" Juli's voice trailed off. "I just don't know what to make of him like this."
Marcelo nodded. "Perhaps it is best he be left alone for now. Let him seek you out."
Juli's expression stiffened.
"Give yourself some time to pull yourself together."
Juli looked up only to have a case file dropped on her desk. "What's this?"
"Your first assignment, Junior Detective," Sebastian hardly seemed to have the time to answer any questions she might have. "Joseph will brief you in an hour."
"Right…" She watched him shut the door to his office with a sigh. Manilla folder flipped open; Juli was greeted with the first of many grizzly photographs.
Three women, torn panties and severed throats. The interior of their thighs blue on black. All around her age, their appearances a classic rape and murder. Flipping through the glossy photographs, she frowned.
Every last one of them is missing their left hand…
She looked up to the window leading into Sebastian's office.
He looked exhausted behind his desk, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he pecked at keys on his keyboard.
Sad and tired.
There was a lonely hue to his stare, even when he was focusing on work.
Juli decided against raising red flags until Joseph showed up.
Sebastian had enough on his weary mind.
Four days passed before Marcelo found Kidman in his office in Beacon. "Forensic Psychology? I had no idea you actually held some interest in what we do here. Though I sense ulterior motives…" An aged grin dubbed the older man's features.
Juli pushed back the sleeves on the crimson red shirt adorning her top. "My newest case has sparked my interest. Our residential psychologist doesn't share my thoughts on a case. I believe we have a new serial killer browsing Krimson City's youth… He doesn't share my beliefs."
"That happens often. You should trust your gut instinct during such a time. So your plan is to get inside this killer's mind?"
"A piece of it. I'm not fond of gruesome crime scenes and crying mothers who wish I wouldn't haul their sons off to jail. I would like to be assigned to something else eventually."
"Well, I suppose I can lend a hand with this…considering the favor you've done for me." Marcelo held some skepticism as he opened the case file. Lifting one of the glossed photographs, he frowned. "I won't just do the work for you, however."
"I never expected you to."
Tatiana shot a glance up from her magazine at the nursing station. Her ruby lips spread into a wide grin as she viewed Juli approaching. "Well, I'm not surprised to see you here already. But, I will play along. What are you doing here so late at night?"
Juli smiled sheepishly. "Just…considering a different career path in psychology and getting some expert advice on a case I'm working." She replied.
"Psychology? You? Oh goodie, maybe you can figure out men and relay the information to your sisters in arms." Magazine closed, Tatiana rubbed the bridge of her nose under her glasses.
Curiosity surfaced on Kidman's features. "You and Rudy are fighting?"
"A bit. He's not fond of me working so late in a wing that is usually deserted. He thinks some sort of ghost lives in the hospital and will tear me apart one night while I'm checking locks."
"I don't blame him. This place gives me the creeps." Despite speaking softly, Juli's voice still seemed to carry in the dimness of the hospital.
A brow lifted, Tatiana's long fingers went for her pack of cigarettes. "After a while, you start to get used to its character." Sauntering past Kidman, she pulled off her nurse's cap. "He's in the basement. You don't have to pretend that you're here to see me."
"I'm not here to see him." Alarm in her voice gave her away.
Tatiana's silhouette waved its fingers over her shoulder. "Whatever you say."
Juli shot a frown at the door labeled 'Basement'.
She almost went down the steps. Something kept her feet at the top, gazing down into a black abyss only lit by a distant light far down a hidden hall.
Five more days came and went before Juli was able to return to the hospital. Five days of pinning a board, hunting down witnesses… It dragged on forever. By then, she was itching for an excuse to go down the steps.
Maybe even take them two at a time.
Nails ticking against the oak bar, she looked the definition of bored at the nursing station.
Tatiana raised a brow behind her glasses, slowly filing her nails. "You know, as much as I love having an armed and very attractive police officer at my desk… if you refuse to walk down those steps yourself I will call him up here."
Juli looked at her sidelong. "I'm waiting for Dr. Jimenez, for the last time. And you wouldn't dare."
A smug look on her features, the nurse lifted the phone from its cradle. "I've picked up the phone."
"Tatiana, no."
Each number punched blipped softly. "I'm dialing."
Kidman called the bluff, glaring down at her.
"It's ringing…"
"You're lying."
"Mister Victoriano, it's Tatiana."
"Shit." Juli softly cursed, moving away from the nursing station and into the darkness between the exit light and the lamp on the station. Her heeled boots clicked as she paced.
"You have a visitor. Uh-huh, I will send her right down. Thank you." Tatiana was practically purring when she dropped the phone back to receiver.
Juli glowered.
Reclined in her seat, Tatiana could only smile as she resumed filing her nails. "I had to. You are distracting me from my work."
"I hate you."
"No you don't. You love me. I'm like the big sister you never had… Now go, I have plenty of filing to do without you distracting me."
Stare shifted to the door, the cropped haired brunette stood unmoving.
"Go, before I call him back to meet you up here. Then you'll face me making kissy faces and I know how much you love that. If anything invite him to spend Christmas with us. That should make for awkward conversation." Tatiana could hardly contain a pearly smile as she watched Kidman go.
Juli swore she could hear laughing all the way to the bottom step.
It took every nerve left in her body to open that door at the bottom landing.
"Why are you here?"
Surprise was hardly an adequate word to describe Ruvik's expression when she emerged from the dark doused in crimson from head to toe. Over a cadaver, scalpel in his grasp, shock littered his face.
The pungent scent of bleach and preserving chemicals wafted into Juli's nostrils as she came to a stop. Nude glossed lips pressed to a thin line before she spoke. "I am going to say something and then you can say whatever you want."
Scalpel dropped into the tray of dirty instruments, Ruvik nodded as he reached over for a rag to clean his latex covered hands. An old habit.
"You had no right to just check out again. You also had no right to lie to my face and say you never cared. It's bullshit. You do not do that to people." Juli could hear the rattle in her own voice but continued anyway. "I love you. Whether you can accept that or not is something I'm not entirely sure of. Your emotions swing like a pendulum. One minute you acted like a knight in shining armor… the next you were throwing me out and leaving me feeling like trash."
Ruvik looked away in his silence, clearing his throat.
"You've only lied to me once…and dammit look at me!"
He obeyed, a string of amusement found in his lips. Her gall charmed him as it always did.
It made her red and angry. "You lied about not caring. I know you care and I know you think you're protecting me…"
Dead gray stars regarded her, breath held.
Juli almost considered telling him the truth that she had hidden from him. Almost. "But you can't protect me from everything and you're not protecting me by hurting me. I think… I know why you're doing this over and over."
Silence devoured the air between them.
A milky iris glared up at Ruvik from the examination table.
Long fingers raked through unruly brown locks. "I think it's because you were never able to protect your sister. She died in the fire…and… I think part of you keeps yourself from me because you think…" She trailed off, trying to collect her thoughts. "You think that it was your fault and if anything would happen to me that it'd be your fault again."
Ruvik's expression dropped flat. Worse than flat.
"That's why you're afraid to be involved with anyone, isn't it? I can't imagine the pain you carry. Every day you have to look at the memory burned into you…and you blame yourself. Ruvik, you can't blame yourself. You were a kid."
"Stop," Ruvik uttered softly in protest with a hand lifted and splayed.
Juli stopped, the rims of her eyes running red. "I just… I want you to know that I can take care of myself. I am a cop, you know. I face monsters every day that you could not believe existed. And I put them away for a very long time. You don't have to always worry about me. I… I feel better lately. I don't need the medication." An epiphany crossed her tired mind. "I…I don't know what happened. I feel revived."
An unreadable look crossed Victoriano's features as he surveyed Kidman. There was something…different. The way she carried herself, the way she spoke. Even the gaze in her eyes was somehow different. Stronger. But how?
STEM… The experience inside of the machine must have triggered something…
Latex snapped off of each palm, Ruvik dumped the dirtied gloves into the appropriate basket. "I am well aware that you can take care of yourself, Kid. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. However, the circumstances are not…normal. I'm sorry."
She caught a tear with the edge of a digit, not allowing it past the apple of her cheek bone. "If… If you just hide down here your entire life: you'll never live, Ruvik."
He couldn't argue with that at the present moment so he said nothing.
Certain of a loss, Juli sighed. "I think… I said all I needed to say."
Alarm managed to free itself onto his face as he watched her go. He moved to follow her only to have a door slammed as he came around the corner. Alone in the dark with only corpses for company.
Had he not convinced himself that was where he belonged?
What had been a game was no longer one.
He couldn't fool himself as to how involved he had become...
A month had passed. Marcelo could not offer as much as he had promised, but he did manage to give a more suitable psychoanalysis than the KPD's psychologist had been able to. He also gave her access to the library in the hospital. That was good enough for Kidman. It would give her more insight. Prepare her for what was to come when she faced this monster… and for the life she sought to have away from bloodshed and the darkest parts of society.
It could be my ticket out of this dump of an assignment.
Whatever Mobius had planned for this machine, she wanted in on it. Watching the detectives at KPD seemed below her. Weeks would go by with little to report other than the pair sneaking off together.
One paragraph typed and a few photos seemed like child's play for the woman seasoned enough to hold her own.
Then there was the rest of the department. Recently she had been dubbed a 'cold fish' behind her back in a breakroom over coffee. It had been Joseph who snickered about it in the break room with some of the patrol cops. She had never thought him to be the type.
As if I give a shit what they think…
She just wanted to move on to something else. So she prepared for that in the cramped corner of the hospital's library. Pencil dropped, she highlighted another section.
"As one moves up the evolutionary scale, development of the nervous system shows an increase in brain tissue devoted to the cerebral cortex."
She really just hated going home to an empty apartment with a piano that was collecting dust.
"The most obvious difference between the brain of a human and the brain of a carp is…" She shifted her notes, hunting for the page she had marked.
"The cerebral cortex," A voice answered from the dark.
Juli lifted her gaze from the lamplight of the books.
A trick of the darkness and light, the melding shadows gave way as Ruvik stepped into view. Two cups in his grasp, he slowly approached the mess that was Juli's studying. The smell of coffee wafted in the air from each steaming cup. Both cups rested on a bare spot of the table, he slid a chair for himself closer and sat. The look on his face was unreadable.
She didn't dare speak first.
"Do you remember what I said to you in the hospital?" Gray eyes fixed to her, he picked up one of the cups for himself. Taking a sip, he caught a glimpse of her shaking her head. "I said that I never thought I would meet someone who understood me the way that Laura did." A digit ran the ring of the cup. "I was wrong….twice now."
Highlighter dropped on the book, Juli shrugged her shoulders. "Okay."
"I've never been involved with someone the way that I am with you. Everything has been fleeting, pointless, and nobody ever fought back when I was done."
Juli's gaze returned to the notes she was taking. "Maybe you just picked the wrong people."
"Maybe I did." It was a close to an apology as she was going to get. Ruvik's attention shifted to the folder resting over two open volumes. He didn't ask for permission. Lifting the weighty file from the books, Ruvik flipped it open. Hairless brows rising, he lifted his stare to Juli. "This is why you're here?"
She nodded slowly, highlighter rotating between her fingers. "He's killed again… Twice since the case was handed to me. Up to five victims…"
Thumbnail running over his bottom lip, Ruvik chuckled. Pearly white teeth exposed themselves over the scars of his mouth. He flipped between the pictures, browsed over the loopy handwriting of Juli's notes. Coroner's report was full of tantalizing details.
This… This is my kind of game.
"Are you so certain the attacker is male?"
Juli sat up, digging through the disheveled pile of papers. "I swore Dr. Jimenez…"
"He doesn't know jack, Kid."
She paused, peering up at him.
Ruvik laid out three of the crime scene photos. "All of these women are missing their left hand… and on a left hand is a very important ring." He dropped the file back onto the pile.
A grizzly photograph fell into Kidman's lap.
Juli couldn't remove her stare from Ruvik. "A wedding ring? You think some woman is killing other women because they were married?"
Ruvik tried to hide a smirk at her doubt. "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. A tragic affair."
Disbelief scoured her face. "No, that's just ridiculous." Juli flipped through the photos, trying to find how he connected such a story together. "How?"
"Well, I believe how she did it is as plain as day. Make it look like a rape to throw you off."
"You know what I mean." She fought the urge to pinch him for mocking her.
The clock chimed on the far wall.
Scarred lips tugged oddly as he grinned. Rising to his feet, Ruvik picked up his cup of coffee. He flicked away speck of something from his sleeve. "It's five in the morning…"
Juli sighed, looking at her watch. "I know… I've been at this all night trying to get into… well now the killer is a 'her'…"
Gaze narrowing, Victoriano watched her flip books shut and pile crime scene photos back into the folders they usually occupied. So much mess, so much disorder. He couldn't remember if she was tidy or not before STEM…
"I don't know what I'm going to do…" Juli uttered softly. "If I screw this up… I lose everything." Her mahogany orbs peered up to him. "I'm sorry; it's not your problem."
Why does she say that?
Another check of her watch and she was heading for the door. "I have to go."
He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to get what he wanted. More than anything, he didn't want her to just go.
Not like this.
Ruvik caught her at the elevator.
Breathless, he thumped the stop button.
The yellow light overhead doused them both in sunny color.
When the gate closed, his mouth found hers.