Hi guys! I am so grateful for the support and the reviews! I am glad you are all liking how I am portraying Anders as that was something I was a bit worried about. When playing the game, I never saw him as a "good" person for Hawke. He felt too self-serving and if Hawke was a mage it was even worse. SO, I expanded how I thought he would react if this set of events happened.

ANYWHO, I know these have been a rough couple chapters, but we are far from done and I hope you all stick around to see how this goes! Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-One

"We don't really know what happened between the two of them, Varric."

Three faces watched miserably as the flames danced in the modest fireplace of the room. Elven eyes gazed intently at her friends from the bed, her face behind her drawn up knees. A dagger in the reflected the light of the fire upon the blank walls as the woman tried to hide her nervousness by cleaning it.

Dwarven fingers intertwined as he laid them on his crossed knee with a sigh. It seemed to him that the only real way to find out what had happened was to talk to Hawke herself, but he refused to hurt her with his questions. Besides, he was almost positive he knew the answer any way. But what he didn't know was the WHY. Why had this happened now?

"Varric... I... um..."

"Yes, Daisy? Don't be nervous."

The elf stretched out her legs with a sigh and laid flat on the bed. "You see, I got to Hawke first. I saw them before he started acting odd. Well. He was asleep then. And he doesn't really sleep much, so I guess that was a bit odd..."

Merrill's rambling went on for a few more seconds before a very impatient throat was cleared by the pirate as she paused her cleaning for a moment. The elf leaned up once more and crossed her legs and she struggled to get back on track with her thoughts.

"Oh! Right. She asked me to check and see if something was wrong. Said that he had an 'episode' and wasn't acting right. But... When I felt his soul... It..."

This time she broke into tears and stopped speaking altogether. Both of her companions stood from their seats to come join her on the bed. The jingle of metal jewelry was loud in her ear as a long arm slid around her small shoulders. Short, strong fingers wrapped tightly around her knee. Small sobs and sniffles were the only sounds in the silent room as Merrill struggled to pull herself together.

"I'm sorry... It's just... It was that horrible man... He was there... INSIDE of Fenris... I... I didn't tell Hawke... I hoped Anders could get there and fix it in time... But I should have tried! I should have told her!"

"Shh. Don't put this on yourself." Varric used his free hand to take one of Merrill's and squeezed it reassuringly. "I suspect that there was very little any of us could have done. That evil bastard... he deserved worse than he got at the hands of Hawke, and he still haunts her from the grave."

A soft knock echoed around the room. For a moment they all froze and looked at the door joining them to Hawke, but a second knock eventually came from the hall door. Considering the warning Varric had told the two women he had given Anders, there was really only one person who could be at the door if not a servant.

"Come in." Isabela called from her seat, unwilling to leave her spot.

The door swung open widely and their last companion walked in and over to the bed. Her armor threw a pattern of dim lights across the walls as it caught the flames, but she stood stoically next to the bed with both hands behind her back. There was a small smile on her lips as Aveline looked at her friends in front of her.

"I interrogated Anders when I found him in the hall to find out what was going on. He filled me in for the most part, but when he started going on about Fenris, I decided it would be best for him to take a nap for a while."

Suddenly, the room was filled with the sound of girlish giggling. Hearing Aveline speak in such a calm, nonchalant way about her actions set Merrill off and soon it developed into full-blown laughter. Seeing that her guilt and tears were forgotten for now, Varric stood from the bed and walked back over to the fire. He had something that he desperately needed to speak to Hawke about, but with this new twist he didn't want to upset her further. They had been in the estate for almost two weeks and it had been quiet and peaceful. As Varric pulled the scroll he had been carrying out of his belt and examined the seal once more, he knew that peace was over.

Back in Isabela's room, Hawke woke from her nightmare with a start. Looking around at the walls, she remembered where she was and all that had happened came rushing back to her. From the other room, she heard the muffled sound of laughter and the ghost of a smile came over her lips. As she relaxed back into the pillow, Hawke took an inventory of herself and her thoughts. The initial shock of losing Fenris once more had lessened a bit, but the hollow feeling remained deep in her chest. A dark part in her mind nagged at her to just give up on him, that it was a fool's errand. Though she was a powerful mage in her own right, she knew that this was beyond her scope. Hawke preferred enemies that she could analyze and confront. Subterfuge was the realm of rogues, not mages. -Maybe he is better off not knowing... He has dealt with so much pain. Who am I to put him through more of it?-

Hawke brought her arm up and laid it over her eyes with a deep sigh. She knew she could not give up on him, she swore long ago that she would not. However, she did not know what to do now. This was magic beyond her means, something dark and vengeful. According to every scroll or book she had read on magic, including a few on blood magic despite her firm refusal to partake in it, any spell or curse should have ended with the death of its caster. This thought troubled Hawke greatly. -How can he still harm us?! Either this is some ancient, powerful magic or he is... No. I watched him die. The officials at the Proving checked him as well. There has to be another reason.-

Feeling the familiar spark of determination begin to alight itself within her once more, Hawke forced herself to rise from the bed and walk to the adjoining door. Despite her desire to find answers, her mind still reeled in fear at confronting this obstacle. Her heart screamed at her to go back to the bed, that this was all a bad dream that she could wake up from. But Hawke knew better. Her reality was often worse than her nightmares could ever possibly come up with. Steeling herself once more, Hawke knocked loudly on the wooden door and waited for a response. Normally she would have just walked in, but she had seen quite a bit on accident between Isabela and Merrill that she learned that announcing herself was for the best.

Within seconds, the door flew open and Hawke had to grab the doorframe to catch herself from falling as a small body ran straight into her. Tiny arms wrapped around her waist and she could hear muffled sobs from where Merrill's face was buried in her shoulder.

"I am so sorry, Hawke! I felt it, but I didn't say anything! I... I should have done something! It's all my fault... I... I want to help! Can I help you?"

Rubbing her right hand down the once again crying elf, Hawke pushed her away just enough to look in her eyes. Seeing the guilt in her friend's eyes tore at her and the girl did not deserve to punish herself for something she could not fix.

"There is no reason for you to apologize, Merrill. You were wonderful and helped so much when you went to get Anders like I asked. You did nothing wrong at all. I should have sensed this from the beginning, but I did not think to even consider the notion. You are always welcome to help when the time comes. But first, I need to figure out how this is even possible."

The sound of a cleared throat brought Hawke's attention to the dwarf standing a few feet away from her. "Forgive me, Hawke. I know that saving Fenris was the whole reason for this quest. But something more has come up and I fear that the answer to your question may have to wait."

"What is it, Varric? I thought everything with the estate was handled and going well." Hawke patted Merrill on the back and pushed her back gently as she brought herself into the room to stand before her dwarf friend. He knew how much this mission meant to her, so his words confused her. -What could possibly be more important than figuring this out?-

Varric took a deep breath as he handed the scroll he had been holding out to Hawke. He desperately did not want to throw more onto her plate since she seemed to have finally gotten a handle on her pain. But this could not wait, they had no more time. "It appears that you have a summons from the Black Divine. It seems he would like to speak to you about the favor you owe him. He has found something suitable to repay his 'kindness' and would like you to meet with him to speak about it. Tonight."