Chapter 20

Teal'c and General Hammond sat silently as they waited for Daniel to return. Sam, after a time, had excused herself and asked Thor to give her a problem to keep her busy, and they'd gone off together to one of the aboard-ship labs.

"It is a most difficult decision," Teal'c said, finally, as the silence stretched on.

"It is," Hammond acknowledged. "I'm prepared to give Doctor Jackson as much time as he needs to make it."

"As am I."

Hammond waited a beat, then asked, "Have you decided what you will do, Teal'c?"

"I have."

Again, Hammond waited, but Teal'c did not elaborate, and George almost smiled, despite the gravity of the situation. He had missed his no-nonsense Jaffa friend.

The two lapsed into silence again. Neither man was prone to idle chatter, and the lack of conversation for the moment suited them both. Like Daniel, they both had a lot to consider. Hammond thought back to his first moments on the ship, when he'd seen Daniel, Teal'c and Sam Carter standing side-by-side.The smile that had started in the oval office broadened until it had threatened to split his face. Yes, they all looked exhausted, stressed, worn down by months of uncertainty, hardship and grief, but still, here they were, alive.They'd greeted each other almost formally at first, military protocol along with the long separation and the terrible events of the last months holding them back, but then almost as one they'd stepped forward, and suddenly the four were embracing, military decorum and formality be damned.

They'd been full of questions, Sam in particular, about how the SGC had contacted Thor, how Hammond had known they were still alive, and about Cassie, the SGC and, of course, the war against the Goa'uld, and he'd answered them the best he could. They listened grimly as he recounted the possession of some of the SGC personnel by Anubis and his subsequent escape and were not surprised that Ba'al was still wrecking havoc in the galaxy. He didn't outright say that several crises would most likely have been averted had SG1 been there, afraid that the three, particularly Dr. Jackson, might act out of guilt rather than in their own best interests, but he saw, from the looks they shared, that they easily reached that conclusion themselves.

So he'd changed the subject, and the relief in the room was palpable as he told them that his daughter and granddaughters had taken Cassie into their home and made her a part of the family, and that he himself would drive her back and forth from college whenever he could. He knew the young girl had never been far from their thoughts, and he assured them that, while Cassie had grieved for their absence, she had never once blamed them for leaving.

He'd also told them that it had been Daniel who, with a single coded message, had convinced him that the Asgard might be lying and that they should, therefore, try to use Dr. Kalai's research to contact Thor from Byliason. Daniel had ducked his head and actually blushed at the looks Sam and Teal'c had given him as they had chastised him for his apparent claim that he'd "abandoned them."

"We knew you would never give up on us, Daniel," Sam had said.

"It is a measure of the man you are, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c had said, "that even running for your very life you would find a way to bring us home."

Daniel had shrugged and diverted the conversation, but Hammond could see that a weight had been lifted from the man's shoulders. Thinking of it now, Hammond shook his head. Only minutes later Daniel's shoulders had slumped again as Hammond was forced to tell him that, although the charges of treason had been dropped and he believed their security checks were thorough enough for Daniel to return to the SGC, Hammond did not believe that he could safely leave the mountain.

"I don't understand, General," Daniel had said. "Are you saying that you don't think I should leave the mountain at all?"

"Not on Earth."

Seeing the dismay on the faces of the three teammates, George had tried to soften his words: "I may be wrong, Dr. Jackson. My sources say otherwise, but perhaps the President's decision and orders have swayed the . . . less law-abiding factions as well."

Daniel had shown a glimmer of hope. "When were the charges dropped?" he asked.

"About two months ago, shortly after we first contacted Thor and he transmitted some of the Ancient data."

The hope went out of Daniel's eyes. "Two months. More than long enough ago, then, to get the word out."

Hammond had looked at him curiously, and then to Sam and Teal'c. Major Carter was staring at the floor, and Teal'c was scowling.

"Has something happened?" he asked. "Do you three know something other than what I've told you?"

Sam looked up, and he saw the anger and distress in her eyes. "They tried to kill Daniel yesterday. If Thor hadn't found him when he did. . . ."

Daniel had interrupted her, as if he'd already accepted that his fate was sealed and had moved on. "And what about Sam and Teal'c? Will they be safe if they go back?"

Still trying to process the news that an attempt had been made on Dr. Jackson's life mere hours ago, Hammond didn't answer for a moment. He wondered that he hadn't even thought of the possibility that Major Carter and Teal'c might also endanger their lives by returning, given all that had happened. As he considered everything that his sources had told him and everything he knew about how the people chasing Dr. Jackson operated, he looked at the surviving members of SG-1. Daniel stared back at him, his blue eyes unreadable. Teal'c waited patiently, equally unreadable. Only Sam's emotions were written on her face. Fear, hope and, he thought, guilt for even hoping. . . .

"I think. . . ," he began and then stopped. ". . . I believe that Teal'c and Major Carter will be as safe as they ever were on Earth, given the work we do. I'm afraid though, Dr. Jackson, that it is your outspokenness in support of our alliances with alien races, plus your unique experiences, especially your ascension and descension, that make you a particular target."

Daniel had nodded briskly and then risen, all business. "O.K. I have a little thinking to do. If you don't mind, I'll . . . uh . . . I . . ." Daniel's false composure had failed then, and he'd swallowed hard. "I . . . need . . . I need a few minutes alone to figure this out. I'll just go. . . ." He'd gestured vaguely toward the door, nodded at Sam and Teal'c, and walked from the room.

It was enough to break your heart.

Hammond looked at his watch. That had been almost fifty minutes ago. He gave a slight shake of his head. Fifty minutes? A day? What amount of time would be enough? Hammond tried not to speculate on what Dr. Jackson's decision would be. Colonel O'Neill was gone, in Daniel's mind murdered by their own people, and he himself was a target of men who had, if he read the younger man correctly, terrified him―not an easy thing to do to one of the bravest men, soldier or civilian, Hammond had ever known. Why would he choose to return to the planet under those conditions, only to be confined to a gray underground base, fated to rarely breath fresh air or see the sun?

Yet Earth was home. His parents were buried there, Cassie was there. He had to know that Sam wished fervently to return and would be devastated were he and Teal'c not to come with her. Add in the knowledge that―and Hammond now regretted more than ever having mentioned these events―missions had failed, men had diedwho could have perhaps been saved had Dr. Jackson been there to correctly translate a warning or to avoid a cultural misunderstanding, and the decision became even more excruciating.

George heard a noise at the door and looked up to see Sam and Thor enter the room. "Daniel told us he'd be right here," Sam said. Teal'c nodded and rose smoothly from where he'd sat cross-legged on the floor. Hammond, who'd been leaning rather uncomfortably on one of the stools, straightened out as well, and they all looked expectantly toward the entrance to the bridge. A moment later, Daniel walked in. He saw then all looking, and gave one of those trademark self-deprecating smiles that Hammond remembered so well from a hundred briefings.

"Sorry," Daniel said. "It's a lot to take in."

"Indeed it is, Daniel Jackson. If you would like more time to consider, we are content to wait."

Daniel smiled at Teal'c. "No, that's O.K. . . . General?" he said, turning to Hammond, "Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions?"

George smiled kindly. "Of course not, Dr. Jackson."

"O.K., well first, are you certain if I go back that I'll be able to continue going through the Gate?"

"Yes, I'm certain. Landry is a good man, and you can trust him."

"And if I decide, despite your warnings, to leave the mountain, either temporarily or for good?"

"No one at the SGC will stop you, son."

Daniel couldn't help but notice the words "at the SGC," but he didn't comment.

"And if I decide later to leave Earth?" he asked instead.

Hammond hesitated. He'd like to think that leaving Earth for good should Daniel change his mind would be an option, but except for Colonel O'Neill's false departure when he was undercover, such a move had never been approved.

"I'm afraid there's no guarantee of that, Dr. Jackson" he said. "You know the NID and the Joint Chiefs have never been comfortable with the idea of high-security personnel leaving the planet outside the jurisdiction of the SGC." He hesitated again and added reluctantly, "If you wish to make another planet your home, it would be best to make that choice now."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Major Carter draw in a breath. Teal'c did not change expression, but kept his eyes steadily on his linguist teammate. Daniel sighed, but nodded his head, as if he had expected as much.

Before anyone else could speak, however, Thor stepped forward. "I believe I can be of assistance here, Dr. Jackson. I will of course transport you to wherever you wish to go now. I will also pledge, should you return to Earth, that for as long as my responsibilities allow me to, I will return to the Milky Way periodically to check on your well-being. I will provide you with a communications device for those times. And of course, should you be allowed by your SGC, you may attempt to contact me at any other time. I understand that this is not a perfect solution, but perhaps it will make your decision less onerous."

Again, the four beings in the room looked to Daniel expectantly. Daniel was staring at the floor, his arms wrapped around his torso as he thought.

"Daniel?" Sam asked.

Daniel looked up. "Sorry. Right. Thor, thank you for that. It will be good to know you're out there."

There was another long silence.

"Dr. Jackson?"

Daniel looked to General Hammond and took a deep breath.

"O.K.," he said simply.

The four looked at him.

"O.K., I'll come . . . 'home.' "

Teal'c nodded. "Then I shall return to Earth with you, Daniel Jackson. For as long as I can."

Daniel nodded in turn, and Sam let out a long breath and the three just looked at each other.

Hammond let out his own small sigh of relief as he contemplated the expressions on the faces of the three teammates. Neither joyful nor sad―more determined than anything else―their eyes transmitted a world of feeling, and Hammond realized almost with surprise that, after all his years watching the unique dynamic of SG-1, he too could read their silent communication. They were going back to a world gone mad, a world without Jack O'Neill, a world that might turn on them―again―at any moment, but they were going back together. And that would have to be enough.

***********

Colorado Springs, three weeks later

Daniel pulled his jacket more tightly around himself. An early autumn frost covered the ground, making the grass crunch a little under his boots. He stopped and stared ahead. He wasn't used to the cold, had almost forgotten what it was like to be cold. It was the first time he'd been outside since he'd returned to Earth; the last time he'd breathed fresh air, he'd been in the Amazon, and the last time he'd seen frost . . . he thought back and pulled out a vague memory from those jumbled days of running and hiding, some small town in northern Alberta that hadn't yet woken up to spring . . . how long ago? Six months? A lifetime?

Daniel knew he was stalling. He had asked to be here, had insisted on his right to come, over the misgivings of General Landry and the objections of the security team, but now. . . .

He felt the steady, patient presence of Sam and Teal'c on either side of him, their shoulders almost touching his, and he could see the white puffs of their breaths disappearing before him. They'd stopped when he had, and he knew that they would wait with him there as long as it took. They'd come before him, and had said their goodbyes.

Sam and Teal'c would wait, and so, he thought a little guiltily, would the half-dozen security personnel dressed in civilian clothes who had spread out around them and the others, in dark cars parked at the entrances and on the street. Daniel grimaced. He didn't want to admit that he still felt hopelessly exposed, and it took a concerted effort not to let his eyes dart nervously about, looking for a sudden movement in the trees or a stranger lurking. Even though it had only been three weeks since he'd been rescued by Thor, and even though he still had nightmares about the last time he'd been here, he wanted to think that he was safe, that all the security wasn't necessary, that it was silly and waste of time and resources. He'd even argued that point vociferously to General Landry. Landry had heard him out patiently and then said, "I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson. You go, they go," and then turned his attention back to the paperwork on his desk.

As simple as that.

Daniel glanced to either side at Sam and Teal'c. Teal'c kept his eyes forward, as if to allow Daniel privacy. Sam smiled a little, encouragingly, letting him know with a look that she understood why he hesitated, but he could see the pain behind her eyes, and he knew what it was costing her to be here, in this place.

He returned Sam's smile with a small one of his own and took another deep breath. He forced his eyes forward again and took in the headstones, two of them now where there'd been one.

God.

He started walking and Teal'c moved with him and then stopped, and his teammates let him go this last, short distance alone. The sky was a brilliant blue and the frost sparkled in sunlight so bright he had to shade his eyes, but he couldn't help but think of the last time he'd been here, creeping through the shadows on that dark, terrible night. How much had happened since then, how much had the world changed, had he changed? How many lives had been twisted, harmed?

Daniel slowed and then stopped in front of the markers. He looked at the older stone first, its simple, poignant words so familiar, then turned his eyes to the other. He got down on his knees and brushed his fingers lightly across the engraving.

"Hello, Jack," he whispered, and despite his best intentions, he started to cry.