A/N: Well folks, it all comes down to this. The point of no return. Please review!
)O(
"In war, victory.
In peace, vigilance.
In death, sacrifice."
The march was long and cold. They were cutting it awfully close, to the point where they were practically marching alongside the darkspawn.
They stopped before the city gates. She could already hear the screams...
Jenji turned to face her charges, everyone was looking at her expectantly, like she was supposed to give a speech or something. The look on Alistair's face alone said, 'I'm just their king, you're their leader.' She should have prepared for this.
"I am a Grey Warden," Jenji started, "but I am more than that: I am also a citizen of Denerim. My family is trapped inside these walls. We are not just fighting to take back our city and our country today. We are fighting for our families, our children, spouses, parents; cousins. The Grey Wardens have a sort of motto, 'In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.' So let's avenge the lives taken at Ostagar...We lost more than a king that day. Whatever it takes..." They didn't have time for speeches. "Whatever it takes!"
Apparently it sounded better than it did in her head, because everyone cheered. The darkspawn fell by mere force of will. Jenji cut through every creature that stood in her way. They reached the gates, Riordan was waiting for them.
He explained the situation: they had to kill the archdemon's Generals. Then somehow they would corner the dragon on the roof of Fort Drakon. This was suicide. "Nothing you have done has prepared you for what you face now." Riordan told them. Except maybe the other dragons we've slain. No, not even that.
Jenji chose to take Morrigan, Wynne, and Oghren with her into the heart of the city. They waited patiently while the others said what they had to, knowing that it could very well be their last chance.
"I hate my blood," Alistair said. "I'd much rather be where you are right now."
"I know." She smiled. "Don't worry, I'll kick the archdemon's ass for you."
"Thanks." Then he sighed and looked at the ground. "I just want you to know...that even though I haven't always agreed with, well, most of your decisions...we couldn't have done it without you. So...no matter how this thing ends, thank you, for everything."
"Even for making you king and-"
"-Don't push it."
Jenji grinned.
"Well, Alistair, you can thank me after we win."
She knew him: he was the type of person who needed to believe in something. And right now Alistair needed to believe in the very slim chance that everything would go exactly according to plan and that someday this would all be immortalized in heroic tales and the verses of some old drinking song.
They'd all laugh about it later.
Leliana hugged her so tight Jenji started to think that she was trying to strangle her. The Orlesian was babbling about fate and destiny and the ballad she was going write.
Parting ways with Daveth, however, was not so simple.
"Look, I just can't risk you doing something stupid." She said, placing the ring in his hand. "Just hold onto that for me, okay? If you lose it, I will kill you." Lies...
...Lips.
"Promise me you'll come back."
"You know I can't do that." She would not make a promise that likely could not be kept, even if she'd be dead.
Jenji led her chosen companions onward, ushered forth by the cheers of soldiers and civilians alike. When had she become the symbol for hope?
They fought their way through what could only really be described as a pack of ogres in the market district. Denerim was in flames, the scent of death unmistakable in the smoke filled air. Soldiers split their time between fighting and throwing darkspawn corpses on the fire, lest their tainted blood spread and corrupt everything around it.
They reached the Alienage. Shianni and the other elves were trying to keep the darkspawn from breaking through the gates, which was ultimately unsuccessful. Jenji begged her cousin to get to safety but she refused. Damn stubborn Shianni...
"No, Cousin. This time I will fight."
The hurlock had some of the most powerful magic Jenji had ever seen. The battle felt like it took hours, the tainted dragon itself even graced them with a brief appearance. The palace, the halls of Fort Drakon, it all became a blur...until they found themselves on the roof.
A wounded archdemon sat, expecting them. Riordan had been so close, but it wasn't enough. And now he was dead and the beast was looking at her with those eyes...those penetrating eyes. Mages, dwarves, Dalish elves, and of course Eamon's knights all surrounded the creature. Men and women cried out to their various gods or ancestors, all praying that this thing would just die.
Hello, Urthemiel.
Flames, dust, flesh and blood...and metal. She was ready. She would not let fear get the best of her this time. Fear wasn't helpful, fear had never been helpful before.
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This was just great.
Not only did he not get to fight the archdemon, but he was also expected to lead them in defending the gates because he was going to be their king.
Alistair hated life sometimes. It just wasn't fair.
Jenji would laugh at him right now...Oh Maker, here he was feeling sorry for himself when he didn't even know if she still lived. Waves of darkspawn descended upon them from every direction and all he could think about was how none of them were as good as the archdemon.
Here he was, sulking, while Ferelden citizens fought and died for their cause. And he knew this must be a million times worse for Daveth, the fate of the world resting in the hands of the woman he loved.
But Alistair was still a Grey Warden; he should be up there on top of Fort Drakon with her. Though it was satisfying to knock down genlocks with Duncan's shield...
Maker, he hoped she was okay.
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It had nearly taken an eternity, but the archdemon was slowing, noticeably so. Jenji was down to only a few of Arl Eamon's knights and just three mages, one of whom wasn't doing very well at all. The exertion of healing was starting to take its told on Wynne. They didn't have much time.
This was it, the past year of her life all boiled down to this very second. She had dreamed of this moment - mostly in nightmares - she had to be ready. There were no excuses, no exceptions; no time.
The dragon was practically begging her for release from its massive form, though she'd fallen for that one before. It had been blinded by arrows, its flesh burnt and frozen and cut away until it was left to lay in a pile of its own scales. The beast looked so vulnerable. Not that Jenji was going to be fooled by that.
Warden...
It wasn't really a voice as much as it was the feeling that she was being spoken to. It was in her mind, her blood, barely distinguishable from her own thoughts, which was the most frightening part. The sound the dragon made was pained, a weak growl.
Urthemiel...
We all know what happens next, Warden. Just give us peace.
You won't be dead, you know, you will be a child.
It is...preferable to this.
And what about survival?
We know when we have lost.
She rushed forward, the Fang of Fen'Harel in hand, and then...nothing. Light, Morrigan nods and she too is gone. Darkness, not even darkness, but blackness. There was nothing, no sound, no feeling. The world fell out from beneath her like a false floor and she thinks this is what death must be like. She was dying. Shianni's words echoed in her mind, 'They'll write legends about you someday. When the world was at its darkest, there you came, fire in your eyes like something out of a storybook.'
"...We're losing her...!"
No...
She shouldn't...couldn't...be dying. This was wrong. Had she been lied to? Had the Witch used her?
Jenji wanted to fight it, she really did, but the Fade was pulling her down...farther than she'd ever hoped to go.
At least there will be no more nightmares.
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The palace was the largest and generally the most intact structure in Denerim, so naturally it became the headquarters of the rebuilding effort. The wounded were healed here, and refugees whose homes had been destroyed were given safe haven until they could be temporarily relocated, but not even the palace could accommodate and care for everyone who needed it. In all the chaos, Ferelden had forgotten that someone would need to be left to tend to the wreckage, burn the dead, and most importantly to reconstruct what was lost.
True, the city was in ruins, but those were just things and far less vital than lives.
Of course, the royal suite was occupied by the one they were now referring to as the Hero of Ferelden. Not that she'd been conscious to realize it.
The first thing Jenji became aware of was the bizarre fact that she was alive. And secondly, she couldn't move.
This was particularly alarming and enough to make her panic, but then she rationalized that it was likely done on purpose, and for good reason, as there was no pain.
She figured it was evening or perhaps very early in the morning, since the room was dark save for the haunting blood red glow streaming in from a nearby window that should have been broken. The Blighted clouds had yet to burn off, but that didn't necessarily mean Jenji hadn't slept long. There were dead flowers in a vase beside the bed, roses once, maybe. For a long time, at a loss for what else to do, Jenji lies there and just counts the ceiling tiles.
One, two, three, four...
With the archdemon dead...what else was there?
...five, six, seven...
Someone was coming.
The footsteps quickened and soon the door was gingerly pushed open. Jenji tried to get a good look at the woman. She was an elf, her skirts were torn, and she could definitely use some rest. And then it struck her.
"Erlina?" Jenji's voice did not sound like her own.
The Orlesian nearly fell over in a hastened attempt to curtsy. "Oh! My Lady, forgive me, but I did not know...That is, I-I was not expecting-"
"Erlina," the other elf said firmly. "I am not your lady, I am no one's lady. Understood?"
"Y-yes, but...you saved me from being sent back to Orlais, you rescued my-Anora, and you killed that horrible little man so that he may never hurt anyone ever again."
"And you repaid me at the Landsmeet."
"But you have slain the archdemon!" The other elf exclaimed. "You have saved us all!"
She couldn't argue that.
Erlina had been released from Anora's service after the former queen was imprisoned, she had made it clear who's side she was on, after all. Even though it had been difficult for her to leave her lady's side, there was just something about the woman that reminded her too much of Orlesian nobility; a life she had worked hard to forget or at very least to leave behind. And it was the last thing her lady wished of her.
So, alone and without a purpose, Erlina seemed to have chosen Jenji in much the same way that a Mabari hound imprints on its master.
Jenji gathered that she had been asleep for just over a day, due to exhaustion more than anything else. Ferelden was still struggling to pick up the pieces, but she knew that soon they would have questions, like exactly how it was she survived slaying the archdemon. But there was no sense in worrying about something that was so far off, right?
For now, Jenji simply smiled down at the ring on her finger, content in the knowledge that the fight was over.