A/N: I would just like to say how very sorry I am for leaving this story hanging the way I did. My life has been very chaotic up until recently. I'm finally settled down and feel the need to write again. I was playing through Dragon Age Origins (I finally purchased it for the PC) when this story came flooding back. Also, to alyssacousland, a longtime ago you corrected me when I said Alistair's eyes were grey. They are indeed brown! It's amazing what a nice shiny new monitor will do for your resolution. Since the story is so far along, I will keep it as grey, but in any other stories, they will be the proper color. Now, Let the games begin!

Chapter 21

River's excitement over traveling new lands quickly faded. She longed for the dark, smelly clinic where everything had a proper place. The months here in the past softened her. She lost her ability to be on the move, dodging possible authorities and most importantly; templars. It was a longtrip from Highever to Denerim. Her companions seemed just as tired of it as her. The only one excited to be on this adventure was the newcomer, Elissa. She pointed at things and rambled endlessly about the history of it, or asked the others if they knew what it was. She was the only one keeping the dour mood from overwhelming the party.

They came upon a road blockade just north of Amaranthine.

"What do you suppose is happening up there?" Merrill asked.

Hawke snorted, "They are mere highwaymen who will probably spew some nonsence about paying a fee to continue using the road."

"How do you know for certian?"

Elissa pulled her horse up beside the little elf, "Look at their clothing. See how poor it is. Not to mention the hint of drool in the corner of their mouths as they watch our horses? They are hungry and will more than likely try and rob us."

"They are welcome to try." Anders growled.

Hawke pinned him with a stern glare and hissed at him under her breath so Elissa couldn't hear. She had not forgiven him for blowing up the Chantry. "I hope I do not need to remind you that we are fugitives. We are not to use certian methods for defending ourselves for fear of giving us away."

"I guess I will join Merrill in the back as the defensless one then, seeing as I have no other way to fight."

"Anders..." River tried to reach out and touch his arm, but he jerked his horse around and lined it up behind Merrill. Oblivious to the confrontation, Merrill and Elissa looked at the head of the group, confused. "He's going to stay with Merrill to make sure nothing happens to her. he is awfully timid around violence."

"Ah. Good idea."

"I too will join them." Fenris added, "You three are more than strong enough to handle yourselves." He looked at River. "Try and use caution." River offered him a smile and took the compliment it was. He was trusting her to be able to fight without the augmentation of magic.

The highwaymen were just that. They tried their wily ways by saying there was a road tax and none could get into Amarantine without it. The girls played dumb for awhile before growing bored. The poor men never knew what hit them. Three women trained in the rogue arts were too much for them. Hawke stood over the last survivor with her dagger to his throat.

"Please, Ser, I surrender! Don't kill me!" He begged.

"Give me one good reason not too."

"I have a wife in Highever with a child on the way. I was only trying to make some coin to care for thm."

Hawke's eyes were dangerously dark. She was debating whether or not to deal the final blow. River came up behind her and shook her head. "Hawke, let him go. He's harmless aloe."

Her shoulder's sagged and she released the man's shirt collar. "You're right. You should thank her. I was planning on killing you."

The man didn't thank River, instead he ran as fast as his legs would carry him in the direction of Highever. The group looked at Hawke. This wasn't their witty rogue leader. To everybody's surprise, Fenris jumped off his horse and approached her. "Hawke, this is not like you."

She turned her blue eyes towards to ground. "I'm just tired. Lets set up camp here."

Setting up camp was annoying with Elissa around. She couldn't wiggle her fingers and light the firewood. No, she had to learn how to use a flint and steel. It was not nearly as easy as Hawke and Fenris made it seem. She fumbled with the contraption until finally Anders took it from her and lit the kindle with the tip of his finger. She quickly scanned the rest of the group to see if Elissa had seen what happened. Thankfully, she was busy talking with Merrill.

"Calm down, Love. You don't need to be so tense. I doubt she is one to run screaming into the hills because of what we are." He bit the inside of his lip, "Okay, maybe if she knew what really was inside us, probably, but that's beside the point."

River laughed. "Anders, you are just what the healer ordered."

"I try." He sat beside her and put his arm around her. "What's bothering you?"

"My head's a mess. I'm not sure which way is up and I feel like I'm drowning. What are we going to do here in Fereldan? We have no home to speak of and we are both wanted, preferably dead. Not to mention our fearless leader seems to be holding in a lot of anger. She's going to snap if she continues to hold it in."

"You can probably blame me for that. She hasn't been the same since we left Kirkwall." he pulled her tightly against him. "I shouldn't have lived through that ordeal. I don't deserve the right too."

River pulled away from Anders, stood up and glared down at him. "I will not have you talking like that! I didn't save you so you could act like this, Anders."

"Riv..." He realized they had everybody's attention and quickly changed to her birth name, "Willow, I..."

"No." She sliced the air with her hand. "I'm going to get some fresh air." She turned on her heels and wandered away from camp.

She stomped her way through the tall prairie grass until she came to a large boulder protruding from the ground. She scaled it and stared out at the endless sky, watching as the sun slipped behind the horizon. She wanted desperatly to find where she belonged. The moment she learned the truth of her birth, she'd given up going back to her time. She scoffed. It wasn't really even her time, if she was honest. She was born in this realm, six years ago. She didn't even belong in this time either. She couldn't go home to her father, she was far too old to be claimed as his daughter or heir to the throne. Maybe she should seek out Morrigan and see if it was at all possible to be sent to the time where she did belong, twenty years in the future. She shook her head. No, that wouldn't work either. Her friends would all be double her age and Anders wouldn't survive that long with the taint flowing through him. He'd be lucky to see another decade.

Her heart clenched tightly and she sniffled. She love him with all her heart, yet he seemed so distant. His constant wish for death hurt her. Was she not enough to live for? Did her love for him mean so little to him? Didn't he see how much it killed her inside whenever he brings up the notion of his death. A tear slid down her cheek. She didn't belong anywhere. Her best friend was who knows where on a ship and her almost sister was on the brink of a mental breakdown. There was nobody to talk to and it hurt. Sure, there was Merrill and Fenris, but neither was what she needed. She needed the consorting of somebody not tied up in her mess.

Her mind was made up. She jumped off the boulder and made her way back to camp where she curled up in her bedroll and closed her eyes. She could feel the eyes of her companions staring at her, waiting for her to say something. She didn't. She sighed once and allowed sleep to take over.

The Keep was in a mild state of panic. It took everything the Commander had to keep the place in order. News reached them of the calamity that transpired in Kirkwall. Solona's heart raced when she heard the news. She wanted nothing more than to drop everything and rush to Denerim to speak with Alistair. She knew, in her heart, that River was with the apostate mentioned in the reports. there was no doubt that it was Anders. He always had a flair for the dramatic. He was also a changed man, no thanks to Justice. She never liked the idea of him playing host to the spirit. While Justice was her friend to some degree on their journey, she didn't like the idea of him possessing a human body, especially her friend.

Solona was finally settling in behind her desk to fill away some mind-numming paperwork when there was a shouting from the hall. "Commander! People approach the gate!"

"Who is it, recruit?" She asked, stepping out of her office.

"I dunno, Ser, it's a small group of travelers. They are well armed and look like they've been on the road awhile." He stuttered.

"You're dismissed. I guess I'll go greet them personally." Solona shook her head, regretting her decision to ever get out of bed this morning. She straightened her shoulders and marched dutifully into the main hall. She spotted Nathaniel near the door. Good, he could join her in greeting their guests. "Let's go, Howe." He bobbed his head and followed silently beside her.

The group was comprised of four women and two men, all on horseback and carrying a lot of supplies. They were covered in the dust from the roads and traces of dried blood. They had indeed been on the road for awhile. It wasn't until she was closer did she recognize the red hair of River Theiren. She scanned the rest of the group. the only other she recognized was Anders. She barked at the gate keeper to let them in.

"What a coincidence that you should arrive today." Solona greeted as the party dismounted. "I heard of what happened just this morning. You guys travel fast." She'd planned on saying a few other choice words, but she was cut off when River unexpectantly hugged her. Her arms went around the girl automatically. "It's good to see you unharmed."

"The girl with the bow doesn't know who we are. We are escorting her to Denerim for some extra coin." River whispered in her ear. "I'm going by Willow for the time being. Birthname, actually."

"Willow, is it? Well, Willow, Welcome to Vigil's Keep. You and your friends are welcome to make yourselves at home." She pulled the girl out to arm's length. The amulet given to her was still fastened safely around her neck. "Willow, after you're cleaned up, can I see you in my office?"

"Of course, Commander." She bowed her head a little and smiled.

It was going to be a very long day.

"River, have a seat." Solona motioned to the chair.

River sat down, her hand folded neatly in her lap and her eyes trained on the desk instead of at her surperior. She felt like a scolded child. If Solona already knew what transpired at the Chantry, that is very well what she might be getting scolded for. She knew it was well deserved, but she couldn't let Anders fall alone when she had a hand in it as well.

"Stop looking so sullen. You're not in trouble." Solona chuckled. "I wanted to talk to you alone so I could speak freely. How are you? Any issues with your co-habitator?"

"Once, when my friend...my ward was killed by templars. he burst forth, consuming my rage and avenging Thad's death. Anders brought me back to my senses." Thad's death was still so close to the surface, tears dampened her eyes. "He came with me from the future. The circle caught him. They were going to make him tranquil because his magic was different from everybody else. Even though his connection to the fade was practically non-existant and his power weak, they feared him. Because of that fear, they were going to condem him to a fate worse than death. I've seen the Tranquil. They aren't even human anymore. They are souless beings."

"I know, probably better than you do. I was raised the the Fereldan Circle. The Circle here isn't like the one in Kirkwall. The mages have a lot more freedom. We were allowed to make friends, flirt and have flings. Well, that was until Uldrid turned the tower into a spire of demons and blood mages." She shuddered with the memory. "It still gives me nightmares. It was awful what they put the templars and other mages through. Cullen was there. He was tortured for days. They almost broke him."

"I'm surprised he is as lenient with the mages as he is. If I'd have gone through that as a templar, I'd be hell bent of destroying them all."

"He was, for awhile, but Cullen is a gentle soul, not a killer. He was unable to hang on to his hatred and fear. With time, he learned that just like with every other race, there are good and there are bad. Uldred was about as bad as you could get. But, enough reminissing, tell me what happened in Kirkwall."

River told her everything. The warden was silent for a long time. "Say something, please."

"Alistair is going to have kittens when he hears this. River, you are in a tough spot. I am glad you came to Fereldan to seek solace. You have allies here. Just because we can't openly announce you as Alistair's heir, doesn't mean you shouldn't get denied the protection of a princess."

"I don't want to be treated special. I can't be Alistair's daughter in this time. I'm too old. Therefore, I cannot accept any of the benefits of being princess. It would look suspicios. How would I explain an honor guard? Not to mention the people of Kirkwall know my face. They will reveal me for who I really am. An abomination and an apostate."

"You are not an abomination." Solona said sharply. "You are a woman with the soul of an Old God inside your body. The power you have is not an abomination, but a blessing. Kirkwall has been in turmoil for years under Knight-Commander Meredith's rule. She was a silngle-minded bigot who wanted all mages chained and shackled in a dungeon. You and your friends did Thedas a great service by ending her reign."

"But I used the archedemon's power to kill her. Everybody saw me. The archdemon wasn't in control, I was."

Solon'as eyes widened. "You tapped into it's power without losing yourself in it? That is amazing."

"No, I haven't done it since, and honestly, I was in a life or death situation. If he hadn't lent me some of his power, we both would have perished. He wants to live just as much as I do."

"Either way, that is a monumential stepping stone, River. You and Anders are welcome to stay here as long as you like. This is probably the only place where Anders will be welcome. He is a Grey Warden, but he is also enemy number one for what he did. Neither your name or description was mentioned in the destruction of the Chantry."

"A small blessing, to be sure."

"There is something else on your mind, I can tell." Solona probed.

River nodded, "What timeline do you think I belong in? The future where I was raised, here, or twenty years in the future where I would be old enough to be Alistair's daughter?"

"That is a very difficult question." Solona walked over to the window overlooking the training grounds. "I would say in the timeline where you could be Alistair's daughter, but there is a small issue of the Darkspawn taint running through him. He is a Warden, and because that is so, the Calling will come to him before the next twenty years are up, I think."

"I'm at a loss of what to do here, Solona. Here, in this time, I have friends and family, even though they cannot openly claim me as such. In the timeline I belong, I would be safer than here, but at the loss of you, my father, and even Anders. All of you will go through the Calling, leaving me alone in that time. I feel as if I should stay, but what is my place in this world? I have nothing to my name except the title of apostate. I refuse to live at the Circle, and yet, I am so very tired of running. I have been doing so since I was twelve. I can't do it anymore, Solona. I need a place to call home. I need a family to come home to at night. I need...something. " River started shaking with tears. She was lost in time. She had no home and despite her friends, she felt utterly alone. Nobody knew what she was going through. Nobody could possibly understand her dilema.

Solona's arms wrapped around her, holding her tight and smoothing down her hair. It was the embrace of a mother, something she hadn't felt in many years. It was safe and secure. River felt as if nothing in the world could hurt her. She crumbled in the mage's arms and cried.

"River, sweetheart, everything will work out. I promise you that. Even if you can't live in Denerim and openly claim your father, you have a place here with the Wardens. You have the taint, no matter how small. You are a Warden without the downside of the Calling. The archdemon prevents the corruption of spreading through your system, ultimately killing you. You are a warden without any of the downsides." She placed a gentle kiss on the top of River's head. "You do have a home, River Theiren, if you truly wish it."