Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or RWBY.
Reading: Veritas Aequitas
XXI: Dogs of War
Song: "Closer (English Version)" – Joe Inoue
Track time(s): (0:00-0:20) (0:38-1:20) (2:56-3:26)
Run time: 1:32
[All that is near us we must know / Could disappear any day, be careful / The main key to finding happiness / Lies nowhere else but in my soul.]
[During the opening lyrics, there's Beowolf, Ursa and Creeps charging at the gates of Vale on a bright day. The Grimm leap to charge but are taken down by various ammunition. The camera swivels quickly as the end of the first line comes and an instrumental takes over, revealing Team NHKS as the defenders, flanked on either side by teams JNPR and RWBY. The camera rises past them into the sunny sky where the title shimmers into view.]
"Whoa, awesome new opening!" Ruby beamed.
"It is...Very uplifting." Pyrrha nodded with a small smile.
[You could reminisce, you could recall / The very last time you felt joy / Or maybe you're so blessed to a point / Where you can't remember anything / It's a harmony a miracle / Being able to breathe and live at all / So here is your one and only chance / Life is an opportunity!]
[As the next verses play, it shows Team NHKS stepping off of a Bullhead with Jiraiya. The camera focuses on his grin as he leads the four boys off to their next mission. The screen fades into interactions between Kurama and Haku opposite of Coco and Velvet; a weary and tired Sasuke faces down Itachi; and Naruto and Jiraiya, the former glaring at the smirking latter. Then Naruto leapt at Jiraiya with his fist pulled back on the word 'opportunity'.]
[All that is near us we must know / Could disappear any day, be careful / The main key to finding happiness / Lies nowhere else but in my soul / You know the closer you are to something / The tougher it is to see it / And I'll never take it for granted...]
[The chorus begins with Naruto's punch shifting back to a younger Naruto, around age twelve or so, trying the same thing. Jiraiya dances around him and tosses him over his shoulder at a tree. The young Naruto dissolves into the modern Naruto, leaning against a wall and pushing off with a grin as Yang walks up to him. They walk off screen and the scene shifts to Sasuke, Nora, Ruby and Jaune gaming while their teammates sit in the background and watch. The serene moment shifts into a fight between Team NHKS and a horde of Grimm as the next lines start.]
[Everybody tells you from time to time / To never give up like a phrase from a movie / They tell you to stand up for yourself / As if it were always that easy / Gather a handful of courage in my heart / To go on and survive another day / And I'll never take it for granted / Let's go!]
[Naruto punches back several Borbatusk and Haku's whip brings down a few Beowolves. Sasuke eradicates a large amount of Grimm with his lighting strike before the camera zooms in on Kurama preparing a massive dark blast at the end of his spear. The camera transitions from the dark blast to show the shadowy ringed-eye figures fighting against Jiraiya, the white haired man's normal tears and eyes now blinding gold. He prepares a ball of golden aura that shifts the camera once more to Naruto's own golden orb, this being used as a demonstration in class. It zooms in on Naruto as he slams the attack into a wall, the rubble and dust clearing to show the title card once more (Let's Go!).]
"Awesome." Yang, Ruby and Nora awed at the destruction.
"I like it." Pyrrha admitted with a small smile. She frowned. "Though the fight is concerning."
"Yeah, but-Hooray! Zwei!" Ruby cut herself off with a squeal and Yang grinned as the title appeared on the screen. Weiss tried her best not to look as eager as the two sisters, but failed. Blake openly sulked, her head hanging.
Jaune scratched his head. "What's a Zwei?"
"He's a dog." Blake groaned.
"...You have a dog?" Jaune asked. "But aren't you a-?"
"He's our dog." Yang corrected as she pointed at herself and Ruby.
"Ohh."
"Tell me I imagined that. That wasn't what I thought it was, was it?" Kurama asked as he stared at the door to his team's room.
The dance had ended on a high note for everyone – even though Naruto had to suffer through his godfather's antics, poor bastard. Kurama even received a sweet and quick peck from his date (which would not be told of to his teammates)
"Ha! But we know!" Jaune declared with triumph.
after he walked her back to her dorm room. The morning after started normally – Kurama 'saw' various aura reserves in beds where they shouldn't be, felt their unease or annoyance or whatever emotion was going through their head, basically what happened after most teen attended dances. However, it was after Naruto had finished his morning rituals that they heard it. Kurama at first played it off as a trick of his ears.
But then it came again. Twice in the span of a minute was not a good sign.
"Sigh of what?" Ruby looked confused.
"Well, maybe someone's watching a video," Sasuke said uncertainly. Rooms were supposed to be soundproofed, and they only weren't if a door or window was open. Sasuke turned to the near window and grimaced. It was opened to a crack.
"Son of a..." The raven-haired teen rose from his bed to shut the window.
"I'll go check it out if you want," Naruto said to the Faunus.
"Please do. If it is what I think it is..." Kurama growled lowly in the back of his throat while his tail swished. His knuckles whitened as his grip around his ever-present staff tightened.
"He's not good with dogs, is he?" Jaune pointed out the obvious.
"I don't think so." Pyrrha agreed.
"Haku, keep an eye on him." Naruto told his teammate before he stepped out and closed the door behind him. Haku arched a brow at the order and looked at Kurama.
"Care to explain?" He asked. The androgynous boy was surprised when Kurama growled at him.
"Give me cheek, Yuki, and I'll make sure that every female on campus slaps yours." Kurama waited until Haku nodded before he crossed his arms.
"Whoa…that's tempting, right Weiss?"
"Yang, shut up!" Weiss glared at the blonde with red cheeks.
"But that Trap booty!"
"In Kon there's a family of canine themed humans who train their pets for battle. One such owner decided to have a 'Fox Hunt'."
Blake gasped, "Those bastards!" she declared with venom.
"...Oh my..." Haku's thoughts ran wild.
"Don't believe that load for a second," Sasuke said quickly before Haku got the wrong idea. He smirked at Kurama. "Sir Pity-Party here was just chased up a tree before he recovered from his instincts when he was a kid. The whole thing was hilarious, really. A snack landed in the back of his pants and the dog it was meant for chased him."
"…Oh." Blake said, clearing her throat, and looking visibly embarrassed.
"Screw you, Uchiha! Like you don't know what it's like to be controlled by pure unadulterated fear and adrenaline!"
"At least I never crapped my pants when I was seven."
"Oh snap." Ren blinked, "You don't say that."
"Why? Didn't you pee the bed until you were ten?"
Ren glared daggers at Nora for that little secret.
His friends tried their best not to snort or snicker.
They failed, epically.
Kurama roared and leapt at Sasuke. His hands wrapped around the raven-haired teen's neck with the intent to choke him unconscious (or, so Haku hoped). Haku stood off to the side and watched as the two partners rolled across the floor of the room, each choking each other. It was sadly a far too common thing. Haku sighed.
He could've just said he's afraid of dogs.
"We don't voice this aloud," Blake said sternly.
Naruto didn't know what he expected when he was welcomed into Team RWBY's room, but seeing Bell perched on what had to be the most precarious bunk bed he'd ever seen on his life was not one of them. Nor did he expect to see the grey-furred little mammal standing at the bottom of the bunks, barking up at Blake. Two triangular ears stood alert on the dog's head and, when he stepped in, two green eyes turned toward him and another bark was given before the source of Kurama's fear leapt at him. The whiskered blond caught the corgi in the air and held him, a very lucky him who still had some parts most pet owners removed, away as the pink tongue licked the air.
"We would never do that to Zwei! We want him to have puppies!" Ruby declared sternly.
"Yeah, we want more puppies!" Yang agreed.
"…I wouldn't be opposed to this…can I have one?" Weiss asked.
"Of course!"
Blake hissed in disapproval.
"Ah-ah-ah! I've already had a shower today, thanks." Naruto denied the small dog with an amused smile. His eyes drifted over to his girlfriend and then her younger sister. "I take it this is Zwei?"
"Yep!" Ruby chirped as she plucked the corgi from Naruto's hands.
"And he's gonna stay wif us foweva and – er, I mean, ahem. Ruby and Yang's father sent that m-mangy mutt in the mail." Weiss quickly recovered as she looked away from Zwei's face. Naruto grinned and pointed at her.
"Keep an eye on those cracks in the Weiss, girls. Tell me if they get bigger," he said.
"…That was terrible." Weiss scowled.
"Meh, seven out of ten." Yang, the Pun Master, graded.
Yang snickered at the mediocre pun and stepped over to her beau's side, her arm slipping around his waist while his instinctively fell over her shoulders.
"Not bad, Naruto, but you gotta up your game a bit with our precious wittwe pwincess," Yang said with a perfect imitation of Weiss' baby talk.
"I hate you both." Weiss huffed, her cheeks red.
"We bask in your hatred!" The couple declared proudly. Zwei barked eagerly and scrambled from Ruby's hands to start sniffing the newcomer. Naruto didn't mind and even parted from Yang to kneel down and start petting the corgi on the head.
"So, your dad sent him, huh? Weird how we were just talking about him last night," Naruto said with a look aimed at Ruby.
"Wow, you're right...That is a weird coincidence." Ruby nodded.
Naruto stared at her dryly and shook his head while Zwei licked his hand. He didn't believe in coincidences. But, then again, he was trained by possibly the best in the business of intelligence gathering. Coincidences in that line of work usually never turned out well, and that belief was handed down from master to student.
"He's just a dog, Uzumaki, stop being paranoid." Weiss frowned, Zwei was too precious to be a bad thing.
"Well, guess you can cross Zwei off your list," Ruby said, which earned her another look from Naruto, as well as a few confused ones from her teammates. Ruby blinked. "What?"
"You're so horribly naive that it's adorkable." Naruto sighed as he got back to his feet.
"I am not." Ruby whined.
Yang ruffled her hair. "You are, embrace it!"
"What list?" Yang asked curiously.
"A list of...Uhh..." Ruby suddenly found herself speechless as a cold chill ran up her spine. Her eyes were locked with Naruto's for only a second before flashes of horrible events went through her mind. Cookies being drained of sugar, the world's supply of ice cream running out, and all candy being outlawed...Ruby's skin turned paler, if possible.
"…THAT VILE MONSTER!" Ruby cried out, fear and fury in her eyes as she shakily pointed at Naruto.
"He would do that I bet."
"Not helping, Nora!"
She began to tremble where she stood before he knees gave out.
"Hm, I think she's coming down from a sugar high," Naruto said with a feigned look of concern on his face. He was not going to let Yang tease him over getting her father, uncle and dog's approval.
"I would tease him." Yang agreed with a nod.
Not when she was already so Hell bent on learning the secret he told Blake the other night. Speaking of Blake... Naruto shifted his gaze to the Faunus.
"Why are you hiding up there, Bell?" Blake turned her attention toward him.
"I'm not hiding." She robotically denied.
"I'm resting, up high."
"Uh-huh, sure." Yang grinned teasingly.
"Yeah, sure, and I'm no longer addicted to Ramen." Naruto scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest.
"That'll be the day," Weiss said with a snort. She knelt down and began to coo at and pet Zwei while the others were distracted.
"To be precise, the day an Uzumaki denies Ramen is the day that Remnant ends. So it has been prophesized, so it shall be," Naruto said while he kept his gaze locked with Blake.
"I'd believe it." Blake dryly agreed.
"...I actually believe that." The Faunus dryly returned.
"At least you're honest there."
"Shots fired~" Nora sang out.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think I mean?" Naruto asked. A smirk spread across his face and Blake paused for a few seconds before her face turned red. She ducked down out of sight.
"Not funny, Naruto."
"How do you think I feel?"
Yang looked between the two and pouted.
"Hey, if you guys are going to flirt, the least you could do is let me in on it!" She complained.
"A three-way? I'm strangely not opposed to this."
"Yang!" Blake turned as red as her other.
"What? You got the Bellabooty and he got the Narutushie!"
"...Sleep with one eye open," Blake said with a dark glare.
Jaune was drumming his fingers on the arm of his couch. "So unfair."
Blake turned a darker shade of red while Naruto gave her apologetic look.
"Sorry, Hon," he said. Yang glanced at him and smirked.
"Okay, I like that one," she said. Her arms slowly wrapped around his waist. "Sounds mature. Very sexy."
"Yeah? I can do mature." Naruto's voice became a bit huskier and his hands settled on her hips. They leaned closer to each other and –
"Zwei, Yang's breaking Dad's dating rule!"
"…Bitch." Yang gave Ruby a look of betrayal and hurt.
Ruby crossed her arms, a smug look on her face, "I'm merely enforcing the rules, Yang. Tis my duty as the leader of Team RWBY!"
"…Bitch…"
Naruto was suddenly tackled into the hallway by a canine missile. Yang glared at Ruby for getting Zwei to attack her boyfriend right when they were about to make out, and Ruby smirked proudly back at her.
"No kissing boys in the house."
"We're not at home and Dad's not even here!"
"Zwei doesn't care. He's trained too well." Ruby pointed out victoriously.
"Zwei, why?!" Yang tearfully cried out at her dog.
"He's a good dog." Weiss agreed, a smirk on her face as she watched Zwei assault Naruto's face with vicious licks.
"Gah, get him off-oh gross, he slipped me tongue!" Naruto audibly gagged while Yang and Ruby argued over where their house rules needed to be applied. Blake grimaced in Naruto's defense while Weiss sided with Ruby. What was really horrible about the situation was that none of the four girls moved to save the whiskered teen from Zwei's affection as they all got sucked into defining where Yang's PDA was allowed. By the time they did, they found Zwei hogtied by some sort of wire and panting happily without a care in the world while a sticky note was taped to his forehead.
"Zwei!" Ruby cried out. She held up her fist. "That vile fiend! Zwei will be avenged! This I swear!"
Yang plucked the note from Zwei's head and furrowed her brows as she read it.
"'Dear Girls, decided to go join my team. Sorry about Zwei, but he likes me. A lot. See you around – Love you, Honey. Naruto.' Aww...such a sweetheart."
"D'aww." Yang, Nora and Pyrrha agreed.
"Is that all it says?" Weiss asked as she and Ruby worked on the knot keeping Zwei's legs bound. The heiress' brows furrowed in frustration when she found another knot beneath the first. "What the heck – how did he do this while we weren't looking?"
"I think it's a constrictor knot." Jaune narrowed his eyes as he viewed the scene.
"Oh, there is more." Yang mused as she flipped the note over. "'P.S.: I do a lot of things when you're not looking, Sneeze.'"
"...How did he know I was going to–?"
"'P.P.S.: I am a ninja. Fear my ninja-tude.'" Yang frowned. "Okay, I don't get it."
"…May he rot." Weiss frowned with an irritated look on her face.
"You had to be there." Blake smirked in amusement.
"That's what she said!" Nora tossed.
"What does that even mean in this situation?" Ruby asked.
Nora gave the young girl a chiding look, "Humph, I'm not explaining this every time, Ruby."
Three men occupied the clock tower of Beacon, each a good distance from the other and all seemingly at peace. Seemingly, like the world they lived in. They represented their kingdoms well. Atlas' iron façade of strength and militaristic order present in the General's posture and gaze. Vale's cheerful mask of professionalism while calculating possible outcomes could be seen in Professor Ozpin's small smile as he poured himself a fresh cup of tea. And to top it off, Jiraiya displayed Vacuo's common guise well as he feigned disinterest in the situation and simultaneously drawing attention to himself while he went through his notes.
Really all they needed was someone from Mistral trying to find their tells in an effort to 'win' and there'd be a full set in one room.
"Boo, now this looks boring." Nora said with sagged shoulders.
"No, we can see what the adults are doing now." Weiss disagreed with a gleam in her eyes.
"So...hearing Ms. Rose's testimony, what do you two think?" Ozpin broke the silence before he lifted his tea to sip from it.
"Honestly? That girl is going to wind up marrying the first guy she genuinely falls in love with, and knowing the universal balance of such a thing, the guy is going to be all around nice dude, if a bit quiet. My money's on a wannabe author," Jiraiya said with a smile.
"Huh, that's interesting," Yang tilted her head, "With her introvert personality, I was gunning for a girl to pull her out of her shell."
"Yang!"
"What? I still love you either which way you swing, Rubes. Big sis sends her supportive kisses!"
Personally, Yang was gunning for Ice Flower.
Ruby suddenly felt like punching her sister and Weiss felt the same.
A super pervert he was, but he was also a hardcore romantic. To preserve such innocence, he decided that 'Rosie Rube' was going to be a fantasy cameo; someone Rut Nao would dream about, but not touch.
It was still going to be steamy as fuck, but not an actual 'fling'.
The 'moe' fans would absolutely adore it, though.
Yang patted her sister's shoulders with pride, "Immortalized, my dearest sister, Im-Mor-Tal-Ized."
"…Suddenly immortality doesn't sound so appealing." Ruby said with tears down her cheeks.
She was not Moe!
Right?
Ozpin choked on his drink and Ironwood clapped his hand over his eyes. Jiraiya frowned at their reactions. Everyone presumed so little of him once they found out he was a proud pervert. Honestly, the most they could do is be grateful that he acknowledged it. Jiraiya was certain that he would be worse if he tried to deny his debauchery.
Speaking of debauchery, he had to set up some sort of camera system in his godson's room. There was no way the boy wasn't playing 'footie' his bombshell of a girlfriend behind closed doors. Yes, yes, he knew that Naruto proclaimed her to be off-limits, and Jiraiya respected such a request, but the boy had to know that he himself was going to be inspiration for the series, right?
Yang cheered.
"Dad's going to sue…with a shotgun." Ruby declared with certainly.
Then again, he is Minato's son. That damned fool of an apprentice didn't know or recognize that a girl was smitten with him until she walked up, grabbed him by the balls in the public square of Kon, and told everyone flat out: "This is mine! This is where my babies will come from!"
"…Now that's who I want to be when I grow up." Yang said with awe.
Coincidentally, Kushina Uzumaki was a very brash and blunt woman, and very persuasive when she was angry or emotional about something.
"And we could have such beautiful moments together! Why is the world so cruel!" Yang wailed into Blake's shoulder. Blake tried to pry her off, but it was futile. The blonde was too strong.
That wasn't to say Minato didn't have a temper, he was far more tactical than his beloved wife.
Jiraiya shivered. He could still remember the day that he'd foolishly gone against Minato's 'request' of not spying on Kushina. Minato wasn't pleased and got his revenge. (Oh, boy, did he get his revenge!) Thinking about it made Jiraiya downright horrified.
Let's just say Naruto's creative use of household items and/or food in his pranks did not come from his mother's side of the family.
"And now I want to know." Nora pouted, "Why do they have to leave it unsaid!"
"For the drama of it all." Blake told the hyperactive girl.
With his thoughts returning to his Godson, Jiraiya began to stroke his chin. The boy's claim of having prior experience with the opposite sex was something Jiraiya always believed to be true – this was his godson he was talking about here – but the significant lack of evidence was disconcerting to the super pervert. There was also a lack of any signs of sexual repression, but Jiraiya attributed that to Naruto's warrior spirit being far stronger than his lust. However, like a coiled spring, some things could not be contained forever. Eventually something will give way, but at this rate, that would take years.
Yang looked thoughtful and gleeful.
"Yang, can you not cream your panties right now?"
"I'll try Blake-y, but I make no promises."
That boy's repressed needs and desires will build and build until finally he can stand no more! He'll ravish the first beauty in sight and I will, no, must be there to capture it for the good of my nov-er, legacy!
"I wonder if he gets movie deals?" Yang asked curiously.
Blake's ears shot upwards at the thought of a Ninjas of Love movie. It must happen, it must!
She failed at hiding her eager anticipation.
But how do I anticipate such a natural reaction? Hmm, well, I could have him write another chapter for me, or edit one. Oh! Better idea! I could take him to a strip clu-!
"Lord Jiraiya!" Ozpin's disapproving tone snapped Jiraiya from his thoughts on how he was going to influence his godson more than he already had.
"What?" Jiraiya asked in mild annoyance.
"Do not speculate about my students in such a manner!" Ozpin scowled at the man. He was so grateful that Glynda was not present. The last thing he needed was to have another incident between Jiraiya and Glynda.
"…I would pay to see that." Jaune said with a smile.
"Jaune…" Pyrrha sighed.
"What? It would be a good fight, I'm sure!"
"You asked what I thought, Ozzy." Jiraiya shrugged and tucked his notebook away. He folded his arms over his chest and smirked at the headmaster. "I gave you an answer."
"Just, you know, not that one he was looking for. At all." Weiss drawled.
"...Quite." Ozpin's nostrils flared briefly before he looked at the Atlesian. "General?"
"The girl wasn't lying." Ironwood simply replied. His eyes narrowed. "And we certainly aren't getting closer to finding out who's behind the unity between the Fourth War and the White Fang. Supplying them with Atlas' stolen and replicated technology..."
"James..." Ozpin warned his friend.
"What we need is some unnatural luck that turns a normal situation into a disaster," Jiraiya said. He tapped his chin and a small grin spread across his face. "You know, that girl sort of reminds me a lot of someone I know who tends to have that sort of luck.
"My luck is not that bad, or that good." Ruby frowned.
"It is." Her team disagreed.
I think I have an idea that could help you find what you're looking for."
Ozpin and the General shared a wary look before they turned back to the older man.
"If you have any information that could help us-" Ironwood began.
"Oh, cool your jets, Jimmy. I've got a lead I want to follow, but I think I'll need some help on the way." Jiraiya gave a pointed look to Ozpin.
"...Well, I'm sure their, ahem, mother hen wouldn't mind a day to spend with his fiancé," Ozpin said neutrally.
"Alright then, I'll go get a Bullhead ready. Maybe a radio." Jiraiya hummed in thought before he burst into laughter and walked out of the office. "Yeah right! Me? With a radio?"
"Ah what?" The group blinked in confusion and consulted their scrolls. Each entered the same question into the search bar: What is a radio?
The door slid shut behind him and Ironwood turned to his friend and fellow headmaster.
"Have I ever told you how much I despise that man?" the Atlesian asked. The Beacon headmaster sighed.
"Many, many times."
"Let me say it once more: I utterly and completely loathe that man." Ironwood sighed. "But damn if he isn't good at what he does."
"A shame. We still have need of him, then." Weiss sighed tiredly.
Ozpin arched a brow. "Are you talking about his information gathering skills or his writing skills?"
"...Either?"
"Well, at least we're agreed on that." Ozpin sighed. A beat passed. Ironwood shifted uncomfortably and looked to the side.
"Are you caught up on the series yet?" The question made the Beacon headmaster hesitate.
"…No," Weiss said sternly.
"Wow, even the Headmasters…" Blake tilted her head.
"No. No! NO!" Weiss seethed.
"...Yes."
"He's going to start the next one soon."
"Indeed."
"Dammit!"
"Weiss, I never thought you'd be swearing over this," Pyrrha said to the girl.
Ironwood drummed his fingers and then sighed as he looked at the slightly perturbed man seated across from him.
"We're not horrible people, are we, Ozpin?"
"You are." Weiss scowled. "You, who represent our Kingdoms, very much are horrible people!"
"I think having a few pervs in-charge is okay. As long as they aren't on Jiraiya's level." Yang shrugged.
"Silence! I'm scolding the people on screen."
"She just does that because she can't do it in real life." Blake smirked.
Weiss' eye twitched.
"I certainly hope not."
"I mean, he is technically that boy's godfather and he's got more sway than we do, right?"
"Of course."
"And the identities are protected, aren't they?"
"They better be," Yang frowned. "While I'm all for fame, I don't do paparazzi that well."
"...Ahem, y-yes, yes they are. Usually."
There was another moment of silence, before Ozpin broke it.
"You don't think he'd...?"
"No! No, I mean, it's his godson!"
"Right, right, of course. Just a moment of brief concern."
"Understandable."
"...Still..."
"Naruto's doomed." Ren summed up the men's thoughts.
Naruto shifted uncomfortably as he and his team sat waiting patiently for their Bullhead to take off. Asuma had cut them all off on their way to the meeting room, saying that they had been handpicked by a supervisor for a specific mission that he didn't give them any details about. Now, Naruto wasn't afraid of surprises, hell, he wasn't really afraid of anything really – That is, if you didn't count his phobia of ghosts (What? Years of growing up alone in a small and old apartment, as well as a lack of parental love and/or protection from such 'terrors' had done well to turn what was a childish fear into a very paralyzing phobia. Was it embarrassing? Yes. Did Naruto really care? No.
"Huh, so no ghost movies, got it." Yang nodded in understanding. Scaring the boytoy shitless wasn't on her to-do list right off the bat. Maybe down the line, though.
He was brown-pants-required afraid of ghosts, and while he had accepted it, it still didn't change the fact that he couldn't punch a ghost square in the face.) – But if you were going to be a Huntsman or Huntress, the one thing you wanted more than anything else before a mission started was information about the mission.
Needless to say, not having any information was rattling Naruto's nerves a tad.
It didn't help that he wasn't the only one on edge.
"I can't believe they have a mongrel." Kurama grumbled with a scowl.
"Hey!" Ruby pointed at the screen. "You cool your jets mister, no one bad mouths Zwei. No one!"
His lip was curled up in a snarl and he glared daggers at Naruto, his sunglasses flashing red every other few seconds. His nose crinkled up in disgust. "You smell absolutely disgusting."
"I brush and floss Zwei's teeth every morning!"
"Thank you." Naruto replied snidely.
"Please don't fight." Haku tiredly requested from where he sat on Kurama's left while Sasuke and Naruto sat opposite them. It had taken him a good few minutes to pry their Faunus teammate off of the lightning user when the latter started to turn blue.
"Whatever." "Wasn't planning to."
"Ah, good boys! You all got here on time without killing each other. I knew you'd start to grow up sooner or later."
Naruto froze, now as pale as Ruby's skin was when he heard the voice of not an old pervert, but of an experienced warrior.
"That…does not bode well." Pyrrha frowned.
Robotically, he turned to see the grinning face of his godfather standing outside of the bullhead. A shiver went down Naruto's spine and he swallowed. Jiraiya's presence didn't bode well for him, and it wasn't because he knew the man would pump him for information on Emerald and Yang.
Pyrrha silently pumped her fist, she called it!
"Old Toad." Sasuke and Kurama greeted coolly.
"Fanboy. Kit." Jiraiya nodded at them and smirked when they glared at him. He plopped down in the seat next to Haku. His arm draped over the back of Haku's seat and he grinned.
"How ya doin' beautiful?"
"And now the freak-out." Weiss said with a sadistic gleam in her eyes.
Naruto's worry left him and he joined his friends in grinning while his partner sighed in dismay. If there was one thing he loved about having a shameless lecher for a godfather, it was his inability to pass up a chance to flirt. Something that really put a knot in Sun's tail when Jiraiya turned his attention to Blake, considering Yang was off-limits. Blake, however, was crossed between being flattered and disgusted, and the latter increased once Naruto informed Jiraiya of her fondness for his work. Why was she not flattered? Well, Jiraiya asked if she wanted to help him work on the next one personally. Alone. In his hotel room.
He got a smack on the face for his effort.
"…I hope I drew blood." Blake scowled.
"I pray you did as well, Blake." Weiss said with a firm nod.
"I'm a boy." Haku corrected the old man before he made any further advances.
Jiraiya squinted and leaned uncomfortably close to Haku's face, disregarding the meaning of the words 'personal space' and making the androgynous boy shift in his seat. Naruto, Sasuke and Kurama got to watch Haku squirm for a solid three minutes before he was given some relief when Jiraiya moved away.
"...Huh, I'll be damned. So you are." Jiraiya mused lightly as he moved one seat away from the girly-boy. "Sorry about that, usually I can spot a fem-boy."
"What? He doesn't freak out…" Weiss pouted in disappointment.
Ruby just patted her shoulder awkwardly. "There, there?"
"You're an ol' fart, Pervy Sage." Naruto snorted and smirked as he slumped down in his seat. "Eyes must be going bad."
"Shut up, pipsqueak." Jiraiya glared at him.
"To be fair, Sasuke couldn't tell either." Kurama added nonchalantly. Sasuke glared at the smirking Faunus.
"Shut it, Fox."
"Payback's a bitch, Uchiha."
"Indeed it is! And its name is Yang!" Yang beamed.
"I thought it was Karma?" Nora asked.
"That, too."
"Alright, alright, settle down, brats." Jiraiya waved at the two partners to keep them in their seats. He leaned back and knocked on the metal. "Hey, fly guy, you ready to go or what?"
"Ready and waiting, Lord Jiraiya," the pilot said in return.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get going already!"
"Coordinates, Sir?"
"Ah, right." The Sage chuckled sheepishly and pulled out his scroll. The engines of the Bullhead started up and the four students remained quiet as Jiraiya listed off the coordinates of their destination. Naruto furrowed his brows when Jiraiya finished. This was one of those times he wished he paid a tad bit more attention in Kon Academy. He had absolutely no idea where they were going.
"Geography was kinda boring." Ruby nodded in agreement.
"No wonder you didn't know where you were going in the Emerald Forest."
Ruby sputtered at Weiss. "You didn't know either!"
Jiraiya turned back to the boys and smirked.
"So, it's going to be a while before we get there." The old man began. He put his scroll away and pulled out his notepad, grinning at the four teens. "Who wants to pass the time by telling me when my beloved godson popped his girlfriend cherry?"
"…I'm not his first girlfriend." Yang pouted with crossed arms. She hated that bitch. Not the real Emerald, the one they knew, but the one in the alternate verse...
Any concern of Naruto's lack of knowledge on their mission flew out the window as outrage filled him like a burning liquid.
"I've had a girlfriend before Yang, dammit!"
"It's true." Kurama nodded. He smirked and sat forward. "In fact, she's some unknown girl who snuck into Haven."
"Ooh, saucy...Tell me more, Kurama." Jiraiya giggled out. Sasuke smirked and Haku chuckled lightly while Naruto groaned into his hand. He was right: Jiraiya was going to use him for inspiration.
"Well, apparently it all began after you brought him back to finish his schooling..."
"You sly little bastard...Give me details, skin, hair, eyes, breasts, ass, leave nothing out!"
"Like she has much of it." Yang muttered with irritation.
"I don't know, she has a certain allure." Ren commented. He got a pancake in the face for his answer.
Yang sent Nora a grateful nod.
Naruto covered his face in shame as his godfather and teammate began to have an excited conversation about his ex-girlfriend right in front of him. Haku moved to sit on his other side and give him a comforting pat on the shoulder (as well as escape being between the two deviants) while Sasuke pulled his Scroll out and began to play a game he'd installed on it. The whiskered blond only hoped that this mission was as exciting as most of his adventures with Jiraiya were.
Then he'd be able to forget this moment and hopefully, his team did, too.
"But we won't." Jaune grinned at the screen.
"I want to."
Weiss smirked at the pouty blonde. "We can't always get what we want, Yang."
Yang gave her the one finger salute in response.