I slept all through the night, and my Mom hadn't come home at all. The next morning, I woke up feeling better than I did the night before. Like somehow, a huge weight that I didn't even know I was carrying had lifted, leaving me feeling amazing. It was ten right now, and I leaned over to my nightstand and checked my phone. I had a missed text from Harry.

WAKE UP! :) Call me plz.

I smiled goofily at the message and laid back down, dialing his number and placing the phone to my ear.

"You're up!" He shouted in my ear.

I laughed, "yes, I am! What's so important?"

"Well, it's about Niall-"

I sat up immediately, "what about Niall?"

"He knows about us."

I swallowed hard, but my heart rate stayed normal, "and..?"

"He and I aren't exactly on speaking terms at the moment."

I sighed, "I'm sorry to mess this up for you guys, Harry, I really am."

"No, don't be sorry, love. He's just.. got stuff going on."

"Okay."

"Is it alright? You know, that we're officially out to everyone, and Niall?"

"Actually yeah," I began smiling, "I don't feel worried about what Niall's thinking or anything. I'm just thinking that I'm so lucky to have someone like you."

"I know you can't see me but I'm smiling really wide right now," he said.

I giggled, "good. You know I really miss you.."

"I do know, love, and I miss you so much too. But Simon said we may take a break for a week really soon. And if we do, I know what I'm going to be doing!"

"Partying?" I joked.

He laughed, "no, visiting my beautiful girlfriend in Canada!"

My body froze. I had never had any friends or anyone come home to meet my Family, and now Harry actually wanted to come see me here.

"Oh, uh, you know I could just come back there. You don't have to come here," I practically rushed out.

"What? No! I want to come see you at your home. I am your boyfriend, so I should meet your Family. I mean, you've already met mine."

"You actually want to meet my Family?"

"Yes baby, I want to meet your Family, and thank the folks who sent you to me," he said. I could hear him smiling.

I sighed, "yeah.. you can come here," no sooner than the second the words came out of my mouth, had I wished that I kept it shut. Harry was going to come and expect a big house, a beautiful loving Family. A Filet Mignon kind of Family. And all I can offer him is.. Chop Liver.

"Good, so it's settled. The second I find out if we can, I'll hop on a plane over to you!"

"Great! Can't wait," I lied.

I looked around at my room. Small bedroom, red walls, a couple posters hanging up. Nothing really fancy or exciting.

"So what are you guys singing this week?" I asked, hoping to change the topic.

"Total Eclipse of The Heart!"

"Oh my god, I adore that song!"

"I adore you."

I giggled and blushed, "Harry, I'm being serious."

"So am I."

"Are you nervous?"

"Excited, really. We've been practising like crazy, and we nail it every time, so I think it's going to go well."

"Good! I'm really proud of you. Of all you guys."

Even Niall.

"I'll tell them you said that."

"Good," I smiled, "how's Lou?"

Harry laughed, "he's good, still missing you. Still crazy."

"I miss him too! Is he around?"

"No, he went out with some lads a little while ago for dinner."

"Oh.."

"I'll tell him you want to talk to him. He'll be happy about that."

"Good, I hope so."

We talked for a little while longer, about random things, and he told me crazy stories of things that have been going on in the X-Factor house. He didn't mention Cher once. That I was kind of grateful for, but it was killing me a little because I didn't know anything.

"So what have you got planned for the day?" Harry asked.

I was in my kitchen, pouring juice and waiting for my toast to turn crispy, "um, nothing that I know of. Probably laze in my pyjamas all day and be bored."

"Jeeze party girl, you need to calm down!"

I smirked, "thanks, smartass."

He laughed, "sounds dull."

"It is very dull. This is what you're going to have to suck up if you come visit me."

"It won't be dull if I'm with you."

"Awwwe, muffin," I retorted sarcastically.

"Don't call me that!" He joked.

"You're mine, I can call you whatever I want."

I grabbed my food and made my way back to my room, sitting back down on the bed.

"So the same goes for me?"

"Yes," I told him, "whatever you'd like."

"Hmmmm... Well, sweetheart," I smiled at his words, "I guess I'll have to think of something."

I took a bite of my toast, "I guess you will!"

"What's up with your voice?" He laughed.

I swallowed and told him, "sorry, had a mouthful of food."

"Attractive!"

"You seem to think so!"

"I really do. It's sickening how much I miss you."

"I think I know the feeling."

"You know, even when you were with Niall, my feelings for you never went away. They only got stronger."

I smiled, "that's sweet, Harry. Once you and I got back together, I felt all those feelings rush back, and they hit me hard. It was overwhelming," I took a sip of juice, "but it's a good kind of being overwhelmed. The feeling hasn't gone away yet," I smiled.

"See, you saying that makes me so happy!"

"Well I don't want you upset!"

"There's nothing you could say that would ever make me upset."

"Oh yeah? Your hair looked horrible during your last performance."

He was silent on the other line, and I kept my laughter quiet.

"I think we need to breakup," he stated simply.

I laughed aloud, "you know I'm kidding! You're worse than a girl sometimes, honestly."

He laughed back, "My hair's my thing! Let it go!"

"Okay, okay, I'm so sorry."

"Why don't you say that with a little more sarcasm next time."

I smirked to myself, "sorry, Hun."

I heard voices on Harry's end.

"Do you have to go?" I asked.

He sighed, "yeah, Liam's calling me. We're heading out to dinner."

I nodded, "nothing that I haven't gotten used to already," I replied dryly.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Make me feel guilty."

"I'm not trying to."

"You don't have to, I can just hear it in your voice. You can't hide it from me."

"Sorry," I whispered, "hey, tell Liam I said hi, will you?"

I took a quick breath before quietly saying, "I miss him."

"I will, love. I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, I miss you!"

"I miss you too, bye!"

I hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed, biting into my toast. Another day by myself; another day of wasted moments and opportunity. The time of my life where I could have changed literally everything was behind me. I should've gotten a job there, rented out an apartment, started College in the fall there.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.

I groaned and grabbed my remote, turning on the tv. I flicked through loads of channels until finally stumbling onto Family Guy. I loved this show, it always made my laugh. Brian and Stewie were trying to write a song in order to become famous.

"I want to have intercourse with you, uh, ou, yeah, intercourse with you.."

I let my mind wander as the shrewd baby sang out the lyrics. Intercourse. Sex. I let my mind wander. I do wonder what it was like.. Yeah, I mean, as an eighteen year old virgin who just graduated High School, I admit, I was a bit curious. Was it painful? That's what I'd heard anyways. And if it did in fact, "hurt like hell," like I'd heard from so many people, then why do it? I then thought to Harry. He's handsome, and charismatic, so I serious doubt he's a virgin. I wonder what it'd be like... to have... you know, with Harry. Honestly, I imagine it'd be awful, for him, because of me. I'd be a first timer, so how the hell am I gonna know what to do, right? But then again, maybe we just won't ever do it. I shook my head to myself at my idiotic thought. We're teenagers in a relationship, we're eventually going to have to do it. But then again, I dated Niall for three months, and we didn't go all the way. But then I'd also just made out with Harry shirtless nearly three weeks ago in the bathroom in his house.

Oh God, we're going to have to do it.

The thought made me sick. I admit, I had thought about it before, with Harry. But my pain threshold is not that high, and I don't want to seem weak and fragile in front of him if by some ill-fated chance that I end up crying. I mean, I want to be in love before I do it with someone, but when is that going to happen? It's like the whole world is falling in love, and here I am, a robot; emotionless and stupid.

I changed the channel and the show Dexter came on, of couse, during an 'intimate' moment between a couple. I shivered uncomfortably and changed it again, coming across some Hallmark movie with a couple kissing. I sighed and changed it again, this time landing on Sex and The City. I groaned heavily and turned off the tv. It's like the universe was urging me to think about this to the point of driving myself crazy.

I got up and went to my closet, opening it up. I grabbed my baby blue sweater and shrugged it over my head and over my tank top. I pulled on some tan jeans and slipped on my Kicks. My phone beeped and I reached over and grabbed it, sliding it to the message screen. I was taken aback, but clicked on the contact and my eyes scanned the message, a small smile forming on my lips.

1 New Message From Liam Payne.

I miss you too..

I decided not to push my luck and text back, because this could be just a friendly message to get me to shut up. What did the two period's mean though? Was it some kind of coded Me Culpa? Like what he really meant by ".." was that he still missed 'missed' me, or that he included them to show that it was awkward talking to me now and that he hates me? It shouldn't, because then that would mean that everything that I ever interpreted that happened between us for that short period of time, were just fragmented moments that I had created as a way of justifying what I thought that he felt.

Oh my god. I'm officially going crazy. I need to stop thinking so much..

I shook my head at myself, replaying my stupid thoughts in my head. It must be the boredom taking over, because I never used to analyze any situation this much. What was it about hanging around with these boys that made me so nervous and idiotic. It made me question every move I made, everything I say, and even think. Clearly. They all made me nervous, especially Harry and Niall. We were all out of the woods unscathed and well for now, but what if we were drawn back into the darkness behind the branches once more? Would we all be so lucky to make it out the second time? I had to stop myself from thinking so much about them and everything that's happened between us all, because it's been me whose ruined it all twice now. If I start thinking about Liam, who knows what mysterious feelings may pop up, and I could get myself into another sticky situation. I had to stop ruining things for myself, and them. They are basically brothers, and now I've caused friction in their little Family.

I grabbed my iPod and put in my headphones, scrolling through my music until I fell upon a song I was comfortable with listening to. Look After You by The Fray. I stuffed it in my sweater pocket and grabbed my keys before heading out the door, locking it. I made my way down the flights of stairs until exiting the building. I decided to walk the couple blocks to the elementary school down the street. They had monkey bars, swings, and a jungle gym on the property. It was basically a park. Civilians were allowed to go on it after school hours, and since it was Summer, this school was my playground. Literally. There were a few Families there. I smiled warmly to the few Mothers who saw me, and they smiled back. I walked to the swings and sat down on one, slowly rocking myself back and forth. I watched the children play. They looked so pure, so.. innocent. The thought kind of mesmerized me. I can't believe that at one point in my life, I was like that. I didn't have a care in the world. I would fall, scrape my knee, but after two seconds and a couple of tears, the pain would be gone and I'd be back to chasing the other kids. Now, if I fall, it's harder for me to get back up, because I don't know which way to get up. I can't just stand up, brush myself off and walk away and forget the pain. No, the pain follows me until a new type of suffering comes along. I have to watch my every step when I get back up, because surrounding me are emotional landmines, and if I'm not careful, I can be blown to pieces.

I envied the kids playing. They didn't worry about school, about finding jobs, or College, finding apartments, or backstabbing friends, or finding that one special person who will be there for you and love you, despite your flaws. Hell, these kids don't even know what their flaws are yet. Me, I discovered mine awhile ago. I can't keep relationships down to one person at a time, and I over-think things, which is what makes it hard to keep myself attached to one person at a time. Harry though, he's been knocking down my walls, and I think I've finally found stable peace in our relationship. Where I know that he's all I need.

I was kicking around the small pebbles under my feet when I saw two very tiny feet appear in front of mine. I looked up and met eyes with a cute little boy. He was smiling a very toothy grin. His hair was light brown and he was holding an empty pale in his hand. He lifted the pale up and tried to reach so that it tipped over my head. He was a short little thing, so I bent my head down.

I giggled, "is this water in here?"

He nodded happily and took the pale away from me.

"well, thank you!" I smiled. He smiled back and his cheeks turned rosy. He swung his small body back and forth.

"What's your name, sweetie?" I asked.

"Jack!" He shouted happily. That's another thing I admired about children; no fear. This boy just walked up to a complete stranger and said his name and acted as if I had been his friend forever.

"Hi Jack, I'm Lezile," I told him.

He big blue eyes lit up, "hi Lizule!" he tried.

I smiled at his attempt. Just then, his Mom came and picked him up, holding him to her.

"I'm so sorry!"

"No, it's okay. He's adorable."

"Yeah, most of the time," she joked.

Jack was biting his thumb, staring down at me with a smile on his face.

"It was nice meeting you," his Mom smiled, walking away. Jack held onto her shoulder and smiled at me. I waved to him and he buried his face in his Mom's shoulder. I looked down and kicked the pebbles at my feet again. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took out my headphones and pulled out my phone. Seeing the caller I.D, I laughed. I slide the green bar across the screen, past Harry's Contact picture.

"Hey you," I chimed happily.

There was no answer. I heard rustling on his end.

"Harry? Are you there?"

Still no answer.

"If you're just sitting there listening to me talk, you're such a weirdo!"

The line was silent. I checked the screen but the call was still going. I held it to my ear one more time, but still no answer. I pulled it away from me, chuckling, "that adorable idiot pocket dialed me."

I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. I sighed and put my headphones back in. I pushed myself backward and began swinging back and forth. I kept going higher and higher. I needed to be carefree for a little while.

*Niall's POV*

The boys had all left to go out to dinner. Zayn tried to convince me to tag along, but I wasn't up for it. I was feeling down and out, and I'm sure I'm the last person Harry and Liam want to see at this point. I went downstairs into the living room and plopped my body down on the couch. As I reached for the remote, I saw something next to it. I picked it up and examined it in my hand carefully, though I didn't need to.

It was Harry's phone.

I stared at it for a few moments before I clicked on the homepage, then to the contacts. My brain was screaming at me to stop, my hands weren't getting the signal. I found her name, and my stomach churned just reading it. I tried to phone her on my phone, but every time I had tried, she wouldn't pick up. Times like when you try to tell your ex-girlfriend you cheated on her are really hard when everyone has caller I.D. I clicked the green button on her contact name, and the time began counting. I held the phone to my ear, the dial-tone hard to hear with my heartbeat pounding in my ear. I was about to hang up when I realized how stupid this was, but her voice stopped me.

"Hey you!" She said happily.

Instantly I could feel my heart breaking. This is how she greeted him. No 'hey Haz!' or 'what's up!' but a 'hey you!,' the two-worded phrase known for a lovey-dovey couple. I couldn't say anything. I should have prepared something to say to her, but actually hearing her voice for the first time in a long while killed me. It struck chords deep inside me that kneaded and crushed every fiber of my being.

"Harry? Are you there?"

I still didn't answer her. I just tried to remember how her voice sounded. It sounded so familiar yet so foreign to me.

"If you're just sitting there listening to me talk, you're such a weirdo!"

Her giggle sent a shockwave of heartache through me. If I spoke up now, she would surely hang up. And even if she didn't, and I told her what I did, there was no way she'd ever forgive me, and I would never hear her sweet voice, or laugh again. I held my head in my hand and tried to keep my chokes to myself.

I heard her giggle once more, "that adorable idiot pocket dialed me."

The line went dead, and my heart went with it.

'adorable idiot.'

I ended the call on my end and put Harry's phone back on the coffee table slowly as if it were a live grenade that would go off in my hand at any moment. The house was silent, but my head wasn't. My thoughts whirred ferociously against one another, battling to try and make sense of the mess that I had made, and the light-hearted feelings she had somehow managed to re-kindle with my band-mate. I stared at the floor, eyes silent, until a single tear fell, igniting a burning hole in my stomach, and flow of tears to escape me.

Hello all! So, a lot of you left reviews for Chapter 20 saying how much you liked it, and WOW, I thought that was like the worst Chapter I wrote for this. But Thank You guys SO MUCH! Honestly, every time I see that there's a new Review, or message from one of you guys, my smile stretches all the way across my face. If the next couple of chapters suck REALLY badly, I apologize a million times because I'm trying to skip some time to get to the exciting, crazy, life-changing stuff that's going to happen between everyone. Seriously, I've got a list of stuff for future chapters, so please, if you've stayed this long, bare with me.

And to the Viv anon, honestly, if you want to be in the story, message me? Let's talk!

To all of you, message me if you want! I don't bite. Love you guys!

Leave some more reviews? :)