Chapter 21 - Back on the road to recovery

Dean's injuries are confined to his face and chest and the associated bloodloss this time, so it is agreed that once the hospital staff are certain that he is over the bloodloss and that his other injuries can be cared for by his 'family', they will be happy to release him.

His 'family' have taken a decision while he's been out. They have decided that Dean isn't going back to the care home, they are taking him home with them, certain that between them they can take care of him. In conversation with the insurance, Sam has been able to arrange for Dean to see a physiotherapist and they've been offered the chance of a nurse visiting and sitting with him. They feel they probably don't need the nurse at this stage. None of them want to leave him with a stranger and, in medical terms, they're all more capable than they would ever want to be at changing dressings.

It only left them with one problem. The apartment, still officially 'Sam's place' although he hasn't stayed there at all since Bobby and Jordan arrived, is on the second floor and Dean is not going to be up to trips up and downstairs yet. That is when fortune shines on them for once, as the downstairs neighbours move out and Sam is able to take on that apartment. Jordan and Bobby will stay for now in the original with Sam and Dean living downstairs.

By the time Dean wakes up properly, the three men have everything decided. They've no idea what will happen when Dean wakes, where on his path to recovery he will be? Will this latest attack have sent him hurtling back to the beginning again? They don't know and, in some ways, it doesn't matter because they'll stick by him regardless.

In truth, once he's awake, he watches and listens. When they ask him a question, he answers. It's slow and careful, but the stammer is barely noticeable. It isn't happy or relaxed but nor does he panic when people enter or leave the room.

When they tell him the plan to take him home, he asks only two questions. The first is "Is it safe?" and once they've assured him of that, he asks "Can we go now?" He sounds so young but so weary as he asks it, that Sam finds himself choked. Jordan takes Sam's place at Dean's side and explains that just as soon as Dean has got the all clear for them looking after his chest injuries then they'll take him out but there's to be no AMAs or they can't use the insurance for the physiotherapy and he needs to keep building the muscle strength back up. Dean nods accepting the answer, then without a word, he rolls onto his side and settles as if to sleep.

They settle into a routine once Dean is home. The three of them working at different times of day so that Dean is never alone at home. It's less obvious than when they were at the care home, because they are no longer always in the same room as him. When he first gets home, one of them is always in the same apartment but as the weeks pass, Jordan and Bobby stay in their own apartment, just checking in on Dean regularly.

They've given him all the weapons to clean, polish or sharpen as appropriate and they've had him fix Bobby's broken EMF. He works hard on his physiotherapy and often practises his exercises when he's alone, feeling his strength returning as the repetitions get easier.

Jordan's on 'watch' on a particularly fine day and when he comes down, he sees Dean sitting staring out of the window. He decides then it's time to break Dean's isolation and so he suggests a walk. He's surprised by the look on Dean's face - he could almost swear it's relief and it's only a matter of minutes before they're ready to go. Jordan grabs a rucksack and without a word, shoves an extra sweatshirt into the bottom of it as a precaution. They walk to the end of the street and go into the shop there. Jordan, unlike Sam, doesn't fuss, just acts as if it was expected, after all why wouldn't Dean go into the shop, he'd been doing it for years, the last few months have just been a blip on the radar, passed and gone. They come out and head back to the house. It's enough for now but having achieved that much each time the two are home, Jordan suggests a walk, regardless of the weather. He's relieved that as time goes on not only do they go further but it becomes clear that Dean no longer needs him to be carrying a spare sweatshirt.

Life trundles on day by day and the physiotherapist begins to talk of finishing his work with Dean, another achievement. Bobby has spoken to Sam and Jordan independently about getting back to his own place and if they want, they're all more than welcome to head back with him. Sam has said he wants to give Dean more time, he doesn't want to move him yet and refuses to even bring the subject up in conversation with him. Jordan tries to talk him into at least mentioning it to Dean, but backs off with the reassurance that he'll stick around until Dean's ready, however, long it takes, before adding he's never had a proper job for this long before and if he keeps this up he might even get a reference, if not a promotion!

A few days later, Jordan is surprised by Dean at his door. "'s up dude?" seeing a slight agitation in Dean's features, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just... I thought, maybe..." he hesitates and Jordan waits. When Jordan says nothing, Dean continues, "I thought maybe you might... well see, I was thinking I might go for a run and well..."

"A run? Dude!"

"It's okay. Doesn't matter." He turns to leave, but is stopped short by Jordan's hand on his shoulder.

"You sure?" When Dean nods, he says, "Okay. Give me five minutes and I'll meet you downstairs but listen up - we are not going far, we'll take it easy, we're not pushing it. Agreed?"

Dean nods again and sets off back downstairs. Jordan watches him go, hoping he's made the right decision and that Dean isn't trying to do too much too soon.

Jordan is relieved when Dean is conservative, they've walked much further than he tries to run and he doesn't go too fast. Also having run out, he settles himself to walk back without Jordan needing to say anything. "D-do you remember when we used t-to run as kids?" Dean asks as they walk.

"At Pastor Jim's, yeah. That was your Dad's doing. When you two weren't around, Jim wasn't half the task master without him leaving instructions."

"D-dad..." he sounds sad.

"Dean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay. He's been g-gone... a long time now. Just somet-times I wonder..."

"What he'd think? Me too... I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd left mine, gone with Mom? Would he have come to his senses?"

"You th-think we ever will?"

"What? Come to our senses? Get out? God, I hope so! You know hanging here with you guys, having a proper job, I mean I know it's not much of a job and I'm sure I could do something a bit more, but you know I've kinda liked it. That whole coming back to the same place every night, the same bed, food in the fridge, cooking... not just greasy diners and fast food and coming back to your cooking, hell you're gonna make a wonderful wife one of these days..." he laughs as Dean pushes him off the path. "Seriously, Dean I don't want to spend every minute I breathe being a hunter. And you?"

"Dad would..."

"Dean man, I didn't ask what your Dad wanted. I asked what you wanted."

"Sam..."

"Shit-for-brains, you Dean! YOU! Not Sam, not your Dad, your Mom, your third cousin twice fucking removed. What do you want?"

The answer is barely whispered, "I don't know."

Jordan's frustration evaporates, he knows what it's like. It's not so long ago that he was stuck following his father from place to place, hunting peace from the torment as much as revenge for the death of his two older brothers but he'd made a choice. He may have been only nine but he could have gone with his mom and younger siblings, but he chose his dad, and even at its worst he could have gone back to his mom. Dean and Sam had never had a choice and had been much younger anyway. Jordan sits down on a fallen log beside the path and waits for Dean to sit. "Give it some thought," he says, when Dean stops pacing and finally sits. "You know too well what Sam wants, you've done what your Dad wanted, now it's your turn to choose."

"Sam wants..."

"Dean, listen to me. Sam's a big boy, you can make a decision and he can adapt."

"But it's my res..."

"You say responsibility and I will punch you, healing injuries or not... Dean, he isn't five or ten or fourteen anymore and nor are you. You can make a decision that's just for you and he can, if he chooses, adapt to it, but you're allowed dreams too. Hell it's taken me long enough to realise it, so trust me on this."

"You regret sticking with your Dad? Not g-going back to your Mom?"

"No. I don't regret it. I wish I hadn't had to make the choice and I wish I'd stayed in touch with my Mom and the other two but... no staying with my Dad, finding the answers, it didn't put it right, but it was the right thing for me to do."

"You giving it up now?"

"Dunno... maybe... or maybe just do it part-time"

"I..." he goes quiet and doesn't finish.

Jordan sighs then says, "You and me dude, you remember the pact in the treehouse at Jim's, secrets stay safe, still stands if you want it to."

"Yeah, I know." Dean stands up again. "We should be getting back."

Jordan gives in and follows suit. The two walk in silence to the end of the street when suddenly Dean says, "I sometimes wonder what it would be like to do something normal."