I posted a while ago, but this I must mention... upon getting up the next morning after my post and realising that the day ahead of me was going to be a really really long and boring one, I decided to check to see if I had one or two reviews that could keep me smiling for the day... I discovered not two, but over thirty! O.O omg when did this story turn so popular? Okay yes I noticed the reviews (For which I love you all!) But wow... *hands out massive frisbee sized cookies* EAT! YOU DESERVE IT!

Oh and I was told off for not sharing any of the wonderful Pocky I discovered... so fine! Here, have it! *throws out pocky* Luxord's Xigbar I hope that you are happy! XD I kid, I kid, I hug, I steal back the pocky... nahhhh.

Kisame: I don't think they deserve the pocky... they are supporting the annoyance, frustration and mind-destruction of the Akatsuki. We are a criminal organisation of S-rank ninja, we deserve more respect!

Itachi: *staring at the pocky*

Kisame: *sighs and hands him pocky*

Sasori: *glares at the readers* why are you supporting this girl? She made me snap! ME! The evil, basically heartless and emotionless puppet! Why do you think this is a good thing?

Me: *grins* because it's the ones who are least likely to snap that are the funner ones to poke and prod at... it's unexpected that way! Plus, at least you're taking everything better than Deidara...

Deidara: *sitting in a corner in a small ball, rocking back and forth* There is no escape... the walls.. the walls are closing in! Dear lawd I keep seeing that girls face! I keep hearing her singing voice! DX

And by becoming a part of this story explains why Deidara has such suicidal thoughts... thus confirming the idiotic frame of his mind when he blew himself up.

Kisame: You are a terrible person.

Me: Am not. I'm actually a very nice person. I look after drunk people at parties. High five for being at a party where everyone is drinking and smoking, yet your smoke is a lollipop stick that you refuse to stop chewing on, and your drink is an orange flavoured, zero percenter of alcohol (aka fruit drink).

Itachi: Damn. If she got drunk we could have escaped while she was dopey.

Me: Nope! I'm the sober Queen! I bring cans of coke and lemonade and tell people when it's sleep time! But now is not sleep time! Is story time!

Deidara *clawing at the door* no, NO! Not again!

Which is better? Itachi hair up, or Itachi hair down (trying to settle a bet... I can't tell you what I'm rooting for though haha)

Sorry, just had to add it ^_^0

All *facepalm*

line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~ line ~~

We were only walking for a little while in what was complete pitch black to me before I started hearing the dull drone of other voices, and the light beneath the mask started to grow lighter. I still couldn't see, but I could pretty much make an accurate guess that we were approaching the inside part of the Headquarters.

"There you guys are!" A loud, scratchy male voice floated in somewhere out of the darkness. "You certainly took enough time. Its been costing us money!"

There was a pause, before I heard the disbelieving tone, "Is that the girl you've been looking for?"

I raised my head up, attempting to look for where I heard the voice come from, which was quite hard considering the angle which Itachi had me sitting on his shoulder meant I was facing away from them, "I hear a new person. Hi!"

Itachi suddenly pulled me off his shoulder, putting me back down on the ground so quickly that I didn't quite catch my footing. "Gah! Dammit Weasel, what did I say about giving me warning? What do you think I am, some sort of ragdoll?" I pouted in the general direction I thought he was, "One of these days I am going to kick you, and then the entire repopulation of the clan will be left to the squirt Weasel Junior. Oh dear gosh, help the people of Konoha the day they are invaded by a clan of people with chicken butt hair..."

"Psh. And this is the one who evaded your capture? Seems like a waste of time and money." The voice was irritated. I was guessing this was Kakuzu, the money lover. I had never heard his voice before, but if it was Pein it would be more demanding, Zetsu had that weird personlity split thing... and Hidan would be cussing in every few words he spoke.

Itachi pulled the blindfold off my eyes, once again without warning, but I was happy enough to have my sight returned to me. He didn't remove the ones binding my hands in front of me. I blinked to readjust my eyes, and then gave the owner of the voice a huge grin. I was right, it was Kakuzu. "I assure you, my Krissy artwork is loved all over the place. I'll have your interior decorating from drab evil lair to spunky fair in no time!" I stretched my arms out, pretending to crack my knuckles in a leisurely way, "Just ask Pinnochio back there... I mean the fat old puppet... He's so joyous he's run out of words."

Kakuzu looked back at Sasori for a moment, and could practically sense the chakra rays of evil and murderous intentions emitting from inside the recently artistically decortated puppet. Then he looked back at me, the messed up looking teenage girl with her hands bound, hair sticking out with raggedy ends, and a huge goofy smile on her face. He decided it better not to ask, and instead addressed the others, "Leader is expecting you. Bring the girl."

"My name is Krissy. Kriss-eee. It's really not a hard name to say, like Sir Tootan Tawakinawed."

A hard shove into my back between my shoulder blades started me walking. I glared back at the silent and emotionless looking Weasel, "I swear, that kick is coming one day..." Another shove. "Fine! Gees, untwist your knickers, I'm walking!"

I saw Kakuzu look down at me with a repulsed gaze and flashed his some pearly whites. "You be Kakuzu?"

His gaze widened and then darkened, "That would be correct. How did you-?"

I cut him off, tilting my head and saying, "See now that's a much harder name to pronounce. Besides, I don't think you suit it so well... You look more like a Zuzu... or Frankenstein! Yes! Zuzu Frankenstein! Although technically the creepy looking one was the monster that Frankenstein created, but no-one ever remembers Frankenstein isin't the monster... You look a little less well put together too." It was true. Up close he really was quite spooky to look at. He looked rather alike to a living jigsaw puzzle that had been crookedly put together.

Kakuzu was about to reply, by the way his eyes narrowed darkly and his head tilted down in order to confront me, but an even louder voice tore through the air and almost made my eardrums bleed.

"It's about f***ing time you guys got back here! Where the f*** have you slackers been?"

That was a voice that no-one anywhere could mistake. I looked past the walking Frankenstein monster, only to be buffeted by the view of a bare chest of a silver haired man. "Who is this bitch? She isin't the one you guys spent all those hours looking for is it?" He sounded as peeved as he looked.

"Hidan, move. Leader is expecting us to bring her to him," Kakuzu grumbled, a cold tone in his voice.

Hidan sneered at him but shifted, giving me a glance over. "You're what all the f***ing fuss is about? Gees, I was expecting someone impressive. Not some brat who looks like shit."

I looked up at him for a moment, and then looked between the other five present Akatsuki members, "Wow. Is there a gay bar near here or something? I didn't know the Akatsuki let male strippers into the club." I purposely looked back at Hidan, "Aren't you a little too old to be working in the stripper buisness though? Seriously dude, when someone gets to your age, the common decency is to at least put on a shirt to hide the liver spots." My eyes lit up, "Ooo, does anyone have a pen so I can play connect the dots with them? I can already see a formation of a kitten."

First Hidan was stunned. Then he grew rather mad... okay that puts it lightly. He was livid, pulling his scythe off his back and aiming it at me. "What the f*** did you just say you little bitch? I'm going to cut that tongue out!"

I stared at the scythe for a moment, almost transfixed by it. "Wow, you talk big, with a big weapon... but we all know you are probably just compensating for the lack of something else."

"Bitch, are you implying I have a small-?"

"Hidan," Kakuzu growled, not really wanting to hear his partner rave about such an awkward topic, "Do not get into such vulgar talk!"

I crinkled my nose, "Eww, what were you guys going to say? I was just going to say his brain is smaller than a fleck of dust. Gees, old and pervy. Man, all ninjas get more perverted with age don't they?" Well... actually what the other two had been thinking I was implying was indeed true, but it was more fun messing with their minds. "Actually though... now you mention it, I think you're probably right. He probably does have a small-"

"You die now!" The scythe was raised again.

"Hidan!" Kakuzu snapped loudly, "Do not kill her. Leader is intent on interrogating her, and I advise against murder unless you would rather face his wrath."

Deidara grumbled somewhere from the back, "I think he'll be supporting it soon, un."

Hidans knuckles were turning a pale white at this point where they gripped the scythe, "She insulted me! The bitch must die!"

I looked back at Kakuzu, "You heard him. He has to die! I think that would be most welcome by all the rest of you wouldn't it though?"

It took a second for Hidan to process the information, then..."You bitch! You did not just call me a bitch!"

"Not directly, no, but I implied it. Claps for the ancient stripper for figuring it out though!" I tried clapping with my hands tied. Seeing how close his scythe was hanging down in front of me, I raised my hands enough to slice through the ropes. Wow that thing was sharp! It was rather creepy and shocking on the nerves, but I'd gotten good at hiding traces of fear, so instead grinned at the fact my hands were free again. "Hey look, the oversized steak knives on a stick are useful for something!"

This time Itachi moved in front of me, while Kakuzu held back Hidan from skewering me. "I'm going to rip her head off!" See, this definitely proved who was the most psycho and easily aggrivated. Boy, even Deidara wasn't this much fun! He wasn't quite as deadly either though, and I have to admit I was really glad there was a barrier named Itachi now between us.

Still, that didn't stop me from using my barrier to an advantage, peeking around the corner of my barrier's shoulders, "I think the others already have dibs on the death penalty. Anyway, are you sure you would have the arm strength old man?"

"I'm going to cut you open and bleed you dry with my scythe. Jashin would love to see you die," he threatened, pointing it over the top of Kakuzu's shoulders and towards me.

The stitched Frankenstein creature made himself useful and held back the crazy priest from murdering me. I chuckled a little evilly, before suddenly feeling a stern gaze fall down on me like daggers. This of course belonged to a lovely Weasel. "Do not aggrivate the members, or you will be punished more accordingly."

"You say this to me now?" I asked him, quirking a brow, "After the emotionless puppet tried ripping me to shreds, the fish has been threatning me since we first met, Barbie there wants to blow me up, and you yourself tried strangling me? Gees, if you were going to gut me, you would have done it long ago, lets admit it."

Kisame chuckled a little in his dark manner, "She has a point. Besides, I still get to gut her first."

"No way. That brat is getting sacrificed to Jashin!"

I looked between them. "Wow. Should I feel worried that lots of psycho ninja are fighting over who gets to violently kill me?"

"It would be wise," Kakuzu agreed.

I grinned at him, "Yano, I like you so far Zuzu. You are the only one who hasn't yet threatened me."

His eyes yet again narrowed dangerously, but once more a voice cut us off. "There you are." "Will you all stop your yelling?" "Leader is expecting you to report him instantly." "That means go now, or else."

I took one look up at the giant Venus Fly Trap and a huge smile broke out across my face. "Oh. My. Gosh!" A small sprint, a giant leap, and two arms were around him tightly. "It's the checkerboard!"

I felt the man-plant go rather tense. Kisame gave a small cough to clear his throat, "Uh, you do realise who you are hugging there?"

"I'm hugging Zetsu!" I squealed happily, wrapping my arms further around him. "Hugging cannibals is fun!" I looked up at him, "Yano, I had a plant just like you in my room once. He ate flies... I guess it's a genetic thing between all Venus Fly Traps large and small. What are you.. a Venus Human Trap? That doesn't even sound right..."

"Why are you hugging me?" "She looks tasty." I was pretty sure the last comment was to throw me off, but you could never be too sure.

"Because as mentioned before, hugging cannibals is fun. Plus, I like hugs and trees. I'm a tree hugger. I love the giant leafy green things." I beamed up at him with a full row of pearly whites. "But no... I'm not edible. I'm a blend of insanity flavour that you would not want to have in your system."

"What is going on in- Why is the hostage hugging Zetsu?" I looked up to see a blue haired woman walk in, momentarily stunned by the sight she saw; namely a crazy girl hugging the resident potplant, Frankenstein of Stitches holding back the priest and the rest of them sort of in some silence.

"Plant men are very huggable," I told her simply, before de-leeching myself off the man and racing towards her, throwing my arms around her now. "Hi! More female company!"

I guess the momentary stun still hadn't worn off to the fact a very dangerous criminal was being hugged. See, hugs are definitely a good way to start an attack. I looked up at Konan, realising she was tall as well (damn!) and pouted, "Barbie isin't so much fun. She's been PMSing the entire trip."

"Barbie?"

I pointed at Deidara, who was fuming, "Shut the hell up you insolent girl, yeah!"

I stuck my tongue out, "Make me!"

Konan looked between us, the mental thought of 'What the hell is going on?' written clear as ink she would use on her paper across her face. "Pein is expecting you," she ended up saying in the end.

"Yeah, so Zuzu over there keeps on saying. But between hugging new people and making friends with the crazy old stripper priest, we haven't had time to meet him yet." I saw Konan's eyes drift to Hidan, who had begun up with some more violent spats of swear words. Everyone ignored him though, instead more focused on heading through a large set of doors that were ahead of us.

I hadn't really been able to pay too much attention to the inside of the lair so far, considering I'd mostly been blindfolded. Really there wasn't much to look at. I was guessing this wasn't the living part of the hideout, because everywhere was simply drab rock surface cut out from the ground in order to create stone corridors. How far deep we were was anyones guess, but there was plenty of corridors that veered off in so many directions that I was lost by the second turn. I spent more of my time focusing on not tripping over as they led me through towards where ever it was we were going. If I even paused then a rough shove between my shoulders forced me onwards. Finally we ended out emerging into an enormous room, though most of it was shrouded in shadows. They seemed to fill every single gap with a hollow darkness that could have hidden almost anything.

"Is this her then?" A deep and spooky voice said suddenly, very close to me. It made me jump a mile.

"Gah! Ninja moves, so not cool buddy! What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack or something?" I yelled at the culprit, clutching my hand to my beating heart.

The person responsible did not look very apologetic. Instead he stared down at me with a blank face. "Interesting," he mused to himself. "I was expecting a person with as much knowledge of our organization as you apparently possess to be a bit more impressive than... you."

I shrugged, "Hey, I was expecting you to all burst out into song and dance, singing 'We're all in this Together' Akatsuki style. Guess disappointment is mutual on both our parts." I tilted my head slightly to the side, "Although I think you'd make a pretty good Troy Bolton. Minus the piercings of course." I chuckled, "I bet airport staff absolutely hate you. You'd be setting off their alarms on the metal detectors miles before you step through them. How do you ever travel long distance? Can't be Air Clay Bird... not with that prissy PMSing blonde as a flight attendant..." I gave a long, hard stare back at Deidara over my shoulder for a moment.

"Cease with your rambling," he snapped.

Somewhere behind me came a humph, "Pfft, if only that would happen..."

"Shut up Fish man."

"I said cease the rambling."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a really spooky voice. You'd make a mint if you did spooky Halloween recordings."

"Silence." It was at that moment a sharp pain filled my head, almost like a knife had gone straight through my skull and plummeted it's cold blade directly into the midst of where my thoughts were. It was brief, but it still managed to draw a sharp and pained gasp from me, effectively silencing me.

"That's much better," he commented.

"Stupid Magneto.."

He quirked an eyebrow, and I answered somewhat grumpily after having some chakra thing try and split my head open, "Because you're so full of metal that I bet you attract magnets by the truck load."

He took a few steps towards me, until he was standing directly in front of me and peering down. Damn, he was tall too. I couldn't help but let him know it as well, "You're tall, you know that. Actually you all are. Is it like some law or something... you have to be a certain height to be a competent ninja?"

His hand moved faster than my eyes could even process. It raised and then came back down across my jaw in a movement quicker than the blink of an eye. Suffice to say the pain lasted slightly longer that time, as teeth clack together and split down the inside of my lip. I dragged my head back around to face him, feeling the crick in my neck twinge a little from where it had snapped around on the impact of his hand. It hurt a lot, but I was certain if he had even used half of his strength then it would have seperated neck from shoulders. "Ow," I said offhandedly.

He stared down at me, "You would do well to remember what position you are in, and who you are surrounded by. We are the Akatsuki. We are not to be teased, trifled with or made into a mockery. Especially by the likes of a common girl such as yourself." His eyes were staring down at me, daring me to try anything. "I have specifically ordered everyone that they are not to kill you or harm you in any way. However, now that you are here, you will not be treated quite so... hospitable."

I glared up at him, to which the faintest trace of a smirk appeared on his face. "You would be wise to tell us what you know now, or the consequences will not be to your liking."

I stared up at him, and then around me at all the others. They stared back down at me with either emotionless eyes, or ones that were secretly plotting my demise... that was Hidan. Any of them wouldn't hesitate to murder me in a heartbeat, and the guy in front of me was basically telling me that would happen if I didn't tell him what he wanted to know.

"Fine," I told him. "Interrogate me and then kill me. I can guarantee you three things though. One," I held up a finger, "I will never tell you anything." His brow furrowed a little bit. "Two," I held up two fingers, "Is that if you kill me, you will most certainly regret it."

Pein looked down at me, regarding me with a somewhat emotionless face. His eyes however were rather thoughtful. "And the third thing?"

I pointed back at Hidan, "Tell him to put on a shirt, or nothing you do or say will stop me calling him a stripper priest... which frankly he is, and I think you should be rather concerned about him."

"Damn you! Gut the bitch!" Hidan snarled, instantly switching into his psycho mode.

"Hidan!" Pein barked at him. Hidan growled, dropping his scythe a little. He didn't drop the angered look on his face however.

Pein snapped his gaze back on me. "I'm afraid you misunderstand something however. You won't be telling us anything. You see, as a civilian with no ninja experience, as we can all tell that you are, you would be quite unable to withstand our usual method or interrogation." Aka intense and painful torture. "If you will not willingly tell us, then we shall have to use alternative methods. It will not be any more pleasant, however there will be no damage... at least physically." I heard a few sniggers, which made my blood run a little colder. "This is your final chance."

I didn't need to be told, it was pretty much implied... the alternative method would be pretty much as painful as their torture method. Only I wouldn't go dying on them from bloodloss or anything. Considerate right? Still, I had to make sure I lasted long enough in the hope that Atsu, Waku and Yoshi would be able to track me down and send me back home before anything serious happened. Anything that didn't involve physical torture had to be a step upwards from their normal interrogation method.

So, in the face of a perilous and horrendous situation I did what any person would do... actually no I didn't.

I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side, spitting a huge gob of blood from the large split in my lip down onto the ground before him defiantly, before stretching my hands out in front and cracking my knuckles leisurely in a challenging way, "Bring it Magneto. Anything is better than having to deal with these psycho nutters."

He smirked, "Zetsu, bring her to the chamber."

A hand clamped onto my arm. "Yes Leader." "It would be our pleasure."

"The rest of you, you know what is required."

"Yes Leader," was the chorus recieved.

"Bunch of mindless clones you lot are," I mumbled. "Should dress you in tinfoil and pairs of googly eyes, that would fit you all better." I was ignored. How unexpected.

Ever heard of eating your words? Well, I think this was one of those times where keeping my mouth shut might have been the better solution, rather than challenging Pein like I had. Zetsu came up behind me and basically lifted me off my feet, holding me up in the air in front of him like I was some wriggly kitten, while I kicked around like a distressed mule.

"Put me down you Venus Mantrap you! You haven't eaten my legs, so I can still walk! I'm suing you ya know Magneto! All of your people are harrassers! Better yet, tell that to Zuzu. I'm sure he will love it when he hears that you guys had to fork all of your money out to me because you wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Zetsu, make her quieten down."

The two hands on my arms shifted. One of them grabbed onto the back of my shirt and held me up still, while the other pressed a kunai down against my mouth. I tried to move my mouth to spit out some insult, but the angle at which the kunai was placed meant that moving my lips in any way resulted in a nasty sting as metal split open flesh. I resigned myself to a silence, but kept kicking my legs around just for the sake of it. I didn't know if as half a plant and half a man, Zetsu had all of the usual male anatomy, but be darned if I wasn't going to attempt to kick where it hurt in case he did.

We entered into another room. There was an eerie glow about the place which instantly put me on edge, rather like one of those haunted caves bathed in a ghostly blue light where you expect animated corpses and skeletons to suddenly lunge out at you. Pein kept walking, engulfed almost immediatley by the darkness.

Both of Zetsu's hands were suddenly gone and I plummeted a foot to the floor, landing shakily. Spinning around, I tried to spot the freaky plant man, or anyone else for that matter. All I saw was the eerie blue light melting away into blackness. No trace of any person or living thing around me.

"Alright, this is so not funny. Get where I can see you, or I'm kicking all your asses from here to the end of the universe. Believe me, that's a long distance journey I'm betting you rather wouldn't want to make."

Still no reply. I kept turning around, just to be sure no-one was sneaking up behind me. No-one in sight.

"Okay, seeing how I seem to be abandoned in a spooky room, I'm just gonna head out now. I don't like hide and seek, and I swear to goodness if any of you jump out at me then you will be losing something you might rather want to hold onto. Except my home girls, Bluebell and Barbie... they have nothing to lose like the rest of you.."

Once again I received no reply. Perhaps they all stepped out for a cup of coffee and some cake? Highly doubted it, but I couldn't see or hear a thing around me. I took a few steps towards where the exit was behind me, thankful I kept my bearings because it was so dark I wouldn't have been able to tell otherwise.

A swoosh from behind me and I spun, "What did I say about jumping out at-?"

I turned, expecting to find someone standing there. Instead, out of the darkness all I could see was a single pair of bright red sharingan eyes. They startled me and I took a step back. The ground beneath my feet was suddenly not as solid as it had been before though, and I looked down at my ankle to find it trapped in a glowing band of what was no doubt chakra. It was a mixture of entwined blue, green and purple, almost woven like rope and creepy up around my leg.

"Eugh, get it off!" I growled, reaching down to try pull it away. It didn't suceed. In fact it actually split into two strands and started creeping up around my arms, growing high and high. My attempts to try pull it free were a failure, fingers slipping through the glimmering strands, unable to even clutch at them. The entire time they kept creeping higher and higher.

A sudden jerk and I felt my feet leave the ground, pulled upwards as if gravity had suddenly been switched off. My feet flailed around, trying to meet the solid ground again, and I moved my arms backwards almost like swimming, in an attempt to find something to hold onto. The chakra bonds crawled up higher. "Put me down now," I ordered, hoping it might do something. It wasn't the height and chakra crawling around my body that had my heart thudding. It was the terrible anticipation of what was coming. "Damn straight, put me down or I go psycho on you guys. I will be the wailing banshee from hell, and most of you know I can and definitley will do that."

Something red blinked beside me and I drew my gaze upwards to face the red eyes again. For a moment we stared at each other. "Mind Invasion Jutsu!" Then the pain hit.

I decided then and there that I would never ever again criticise people in movies for their screams. Those continuous, high-pitched screams always grated on my nerves, so unrealistic. Seriousy, no wonder they never had anything glass in the cinema... the shrill screams would shatter the glass in an instant. It was only when I heard a similar scream fill my ears and realise it was my own that I thought I should give those girls in the movies a bit of a break. I doubled over backwards, thrashing side to side to try and somehow get rid of the pain that filled every single pain receptor. If I thought Pein's freaky chakra which felt like a knife in my brain had hurt, it was like being hit by a feather compared to this. Thoughts were barely coherent, lights seeming to flash from nowhere crossed in front of my eyes in a blur.

I wasn't sure how long that went on for, but I was aware when the pain stopped. It was a blissful moment in which my body went limp and I was able to crack open my eyes.

It was almost as if I was floating in my own subconscious. Images flashed around me, ones I recognised because they were memories from my own mind. Kind of like hanging from the ceiling of a wall to wall room of televisions that were playing videos of my life. However what I wasn't pleased by who was standing there with me though. Itachi was there, literally in my mind. So was Pein. His funny eyes were trained on me, while the two of them had both of their hands pressed together in a similar style hand sign. They weren't the only ones present either. I could basically feel the entire rest of the Akatsuki lurking somewhere just out of sight. It was weird, but I could feel all their presence amidst the jutsu which no doubt Itachi and Pein had both created together. I had never ever heard of a jutsu that could be used to actually put someone physically into anothers consciousness before, but then again I didn' t really know much of the jutsu's on the show. Just a few basic ones of the main characters. This one must have needed a lot of chakra, or a lot of present people to work. Why else would they have needed both Itachi and his sharingan, and Pein's weirdo eyes?

"You know, this counts as mind rape in the extreme..." I told them grumpily, trying still to break free of the chakra. It was pointless though. Even breaking free in my own mind didn't necessarily mean I would break free of it in actual reality. "I could sue you right down to you guys having to give up even your underwear in compensation."

They ignored me. Pein glanced at Itachi, "Itachi, make sure the jutsu stays up."

"Hn." Itachi gave a small flick of his head in acknowledgement.

Pein turned his head around to face me instead. "You refused to relieve yourself of the information on your own. This jutsu will allow nothing in your mind to be hidden from any of us."

I frowned at him, but a flash of fear passed through me. If I'd have known this would be the alternative, I would have taken the other interrogation method. If they read through my mind, then they would know absolutely everything. Surely that would not go well.

Still, there was nothing I could do to stop them. When I tried forcing them back I was only greeted by a sharp pain strike me and I had to stop. Pein started sifting through my mind and memories like they were pieces of paper in a file. Scenes from my life played out before them; hanging out with friends at school, family dinners... an embarassing moment when I had been sunbathing at the beach and my uncle dumped a while pile of raw squid down me (A few which got snagged on the inside of my togs, which were a one piece set...it was a bad memory).

My heart thumped a little when he stopped at the memory of when I told the Hokage to allow them to capture me if they had shown up (well that happened anyway didn't it?) My original plan, in order to make sure I didn't tell them anything had been quite a dramatic one: to bite through my own tongue. Pein looked up at me, musing aloud, "So what have you been trying to protect, hm? And what made you change your mind?"

I shrugged, "I thought it would be funner to hang around and annoy the heck outta you guys first. Glad I did, because the stripper is awesome fun to annoy. So is Barbie." I looked around me, feeling two flares of chakra somewhere at the edges of my mind, "Deal with it! You are a man whore, and frankly Dei-dei you do look like some cross-dressing transvestite." The flares became slightly larger and more angry, until Pein commanded them to calm down. I giggled childishly.

He paused suddenly, and I quietened down real fast when I saw why. It was like screenshots of Earth, cities and places, wars, everything I'd seen whether it be real life, movies or simply on the news. "You come from... Auckland? What is this place?"

"A place far far away... it's a land where the Orcs reside and Hobbits fear to tread," I told him cheerfully, even though he wouldn't understand the humour of that Lord of the Rings reference.

I couldn't stop him sifting even further though, until he finally found what he was looking for. An image of Team Seven flashed by, and then others. Any little piece of the anime I'd watched or read about was suddenly flickering through my mind, and Pein frowned. "What is this?" he asked, an uncertain tone in his voice as he looked over memories of both past and present. Truthfully there wasn't that much on the Akatsuki, seeing how I'd seen so little of the anime with them in it. No doubt had I known more about them all then I'd be in a much worse position. I didn't know most of their histories (Itachi was obviously about the only one), nor did I know all their abilities, so at least that wasn't a blow against me. When Tobi flashed past however Pein frowned, his presence suddenly seeming to become a much darker one.

It was the cold shock and darker aura emitting from Itachi that I most worried about when a memory of his final fight with Sasuke started playing out. That was something I had actually seen before. Watching a grown Sasuke battling out with Itachi could definitely not yield good results. Every moment they spent in my mind was pretty much incriminating myself, putting the others who were probably tracking the dimensional chakra at risk of exposure, and pretty much showing the Akatsuki an entire ninja-free (well, their sorts of ninja at least) world.

"Alright. I think you guys have played Edward Cullens for long enough. No more mind reading!" I growled. At that point I started trying to force them out my mind again, greeted with that fresh spark of pain again.

"Foolish girl, you think you can force us out?" Pein asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. One; because I'm stubborn. Two; Because I'm partially insane I reckon. Finally, three; this is my mind. So I bid thee adieu, vous l'esprit violeurs et stupide ninja fou!" Goodbye, you mind rapists and stupid crazy ninja.

Forcing them out was not easy. With the amount of chakra each of them had, it was like trying to clog up a leaky dam with a single cork. However I had two things on my side. That being that this was my mind, and so they were on my territory. The other was that my random thoughts and ideas could overpower all.

I don't think the Akatsuki had ever had to face cartoon characters such as Dumbo the elephant and his army of pink elephants stampeding at them before. However I took everything I could find out of the depths of all random memories and thoughts and threw it at them. It worked perfectly, like pulling the cartoons out of their screens and chucking them at audience members, who in this case were the Akatsuki. While they were trying to keep a hold of the jutsu and avoid confrontation with a huge herd of giant pink elephants that were dancing in drunken fashion, they were unable to stop me from forcing them back from the edges of my own subconscious. I can't lie, it was the single most painful thing ever, like driving a stake millimetre by millimetre through my head. My invisible grip on my own mind slipped a few times. Until I felt something strong. It was chakra, but unlike any of their chakra it was actually helping fuel my attempt to break free. Maybe that stupid thing about physics denying me cool chakra moves had finally relented and allowed me one moment of coolness.

The next thing I felt was the hard stone floor connecting with my back as I hit the floor. It was cold, and jagged points stuck into my skin through the fabric of my clothing. The almost bone cracking fall from midair onto the stone ground was little effective on me however, my limbs already numb and racked with the pain of breaking free of the jutsu.

"She broke free. A mere girl broke free of our jutsu?" I couldn't tell whose voice it was. It sounded too far off. "How did she do that?"

"Bitch has secret chakra." Oh yeah, I didn't even need to hear the voice right to know who that was. Good old stripper boy.

There was silence for a moment. I spent that time trying to readjust both my sight and hearing. I felt sore, tired, and my head was swimming at a point I would assume was close to heavy drunkeness. Rolling slightly, I avoided the feeling of wanting to retch my stomach out in a most ungraceful manner.

Pein suddenly spoke up, "It's not her chakra. She is connected to a source of chakra that seems to be... between dimensions." Though blurred, I looked up to see a hazy outline of him look at me. "She is from another dimension... one which appears to have too much knowledge of our world, and us."

I held up one hand and gave him a thumbs up, "Bing bing bing... Magneto hits a bullseye."

Pein frowned. "This is dangerous chakra to meddle with, even for us. Our jutsu might have unstabled it a little, however it seems only large jutsu's such as that affect it. No-one is to do anything foolish with the prisonner though... yes, that means you cannot kill her."

"F***."

"Burned stripper priest." I grinned to myself before rolling back over and coughing up a wad of blood out the back of my throat. I didn't even want to think where inside me was bleeding.

Someone flipped me back over and a foot met my sternun sharply. I looked up at Pein. "Do not think that you will not be punished for treating us in a disrespectful manner."

I scowled up at him, "I get snatched away from home, and since then all I've had to put up with is your goonies chasing me, causing me injury and threatning me every single day basically. So you all have fancy chakra and could kill me before I blink... frankly, none of that matters to me. You have done nothing so far that makes you worthy of respect. Why should I give it to you? You don't deserve any, so I refuse to treat you like you do."

A sharp crack echoed around the room, and one more scream. Believe it or not it took me a few seconds to realise that the scream belonged to me, and the crack was from the two bones that had previously been the single one bone in the bottom half of my leg. I clutched at it, noticing the sickening angle at which it was sitting at now that the bone was shattered in half.

Pein looked down at me, his hand roughly grabbing onto the collar of my shirt and pulling me into the air. "Unless you learn some respect quickly, things may get a lot worse for you. We will figure out what this dimensional chakra is, and once we are aware how it works and are able to harness it, then you may wish you had paid us that little bit more respect."

"Fat... chance," I wheezed between pain filled gasp. "All I wish... that I had now... is some aspirin. It's a good Pein-killer... goof for killing off magnet heads, and good for pains in legs... caused by those magnet heads..."

Pein's eyes narrowed and he dropped me to the ground. I was expecting a painful jar of my recently broken leg. It didn't happen however. When I looked down at my leg it was completley back to normal. No severe break or anything. I looked back up at Pein.

"Next time I may decide not to heal any wounds that I or the others inflict if they are not so life threatning as that." It was true.. broken legs and arms wouldn't be life threatning, but damn! They hurt!

His head flicked around, "Itachi, take her to the cells. Make sure that if any traces of the jutsu are still lingering that you deal with it before returning."

Itachi nodded, walking forward and grabbing a hold of my shirt, hauling me up and throwing me up over his shoulder. At this point in time I was both too weak and still shaking in recovering of the pain from that jutsu, to even begin arguing that once again my personal space had been severly invaded by the Weasel.

I recall a lot of people being in love with a lot of the Akatsuki. What they failed to remember is that, though glorified, romanticized or humiliated in a lot of fanfiction, they were criminals. I had been so very lucky so far not to be injured or murdered... now it had only been proven further what serious trouble I was really in.

It was now a game of Survival. Frankly my chances of winning didn't look good, but at least for now I had the card 'You can't kill me' on my side.

For once in all the time I had to deal with him, I was silent and didn't bother Itachi once as he walked with me out of the room where the rest of the Akatsuki were, and was swallowed up into the darkness of the tunnels.

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Okay... I strugged with the end of this... it's got a record of the times it was rewritten and I don't know if it worked D: Hopefully characters were uh... in character... *fingers crossed* My brain is mush... 2:30 am... ahhhh!

I am dead... dying...dying... DEAD

Deidara *throws confetti* woopeee! Freedom!

*sits up* I am alive again

Sasori *puts the champagne away* Dammit... *seething in anger*

So uh... This chapter took me ages because as before mentioned, it had to be serious, and I knew what I wanted but it wouldn't come out right... my brain had a meltdown while I rewrote this like... 4 times. And it still was weird! D: Curse me! Curse the writing fairies for not coming to me and making this a good chapter when it should have been all dramatic and whatnot, while still being cool!

Who appreciated the elephants? See, see! I put them in there! HAHAHAH Oh and for the record... go watch Pink Elephants on Parade... off Dumbo, if you want to know what I was picturing haha

And um yes... Pein is an asshole! Agreed? Agreed... Then again, I'm sure thats what he'd really do... or something or the sort (actuality... it would be more kunai.. throat.. blood.. dead..Zetsu the munching machine) Something like that.

So um.. um... um... hope you enjoyed! It's extra long :D Yay for long things! They make it more worthwhile if the update is late, or the author thinks its stink hahaha I'm tired too... it's half two or so in the morning! I've done enough checking to know this chapter won't get any better...

Omg! I discovered an MSN skin that has Itachi on it! XD

Itachi *facepalms* why me?

Me: Why not? :D :D :D

Reviews are like cookies of Heavens... they keep me going! I'm greedy now, I like lots of reviews.. T_T bad me.. any review makes me happy though! Seriously, it does! I feel so loved.. and so does the cast!

Them: *yelling* don't encourage her!

Me: *shoves them under the rug* :D love you all!

*hug*