A/N: Nothing much to say other than ENJOY! (also enjoy the new BTR tonight ;D)
Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush, but I do own Sage and Elliot. I've paraphrased a statistic from the website: ask men . com
Suggestion: You should check out Surfergal23's amazing story Hooked.
Also, there is a fantastic new author on here, so-complicated. They just started a new Kendall/OC story that, "Something to Sleep to". It's going to be amazing and so much more than you're expecting. Check it out and give her a friendly welcome to the fandom :)
On with the story! :D Please, enjoy and review :)
***and the lyric in here belongs to Heffron Drive (Kendall Schmidt and Dustin Belt). It's from their song "Quiet Please" (it's AMAZING) :D
-waterwicca
CHAPTER 21: BIG TIME WHIRLWIND
Carlos descended the stairs quickly, taking two at a time until he reached the bottom with his sneakers catching slightly in the narrow rug on the hardwood floor that lead to the main entrance of the Garcia's home. He steadied himself by holding onto the railing and then ran for the door with a newly reenergized hop in his step. The brunette wanted to catch his father before he left to continue his shift after a lunch break, which he took at home in order to spend the short time with his wife, Adriana. He would be working late into the night at Sherwood Police Department and patrolling the streets.
"Dad!"
Eduardo Garcia stopped right before sliding the key into the ignition of his squad car, watching his son with a smirk as the boy slid his way across the front yard on the damp blades of uncut grass. A thunderstorm had blown through earlier in the morning, and the lawn was still moist even though the sun was rising higher and higher in the sky.
"What do ya need, Son?" Eduardo grinned cheerfully, making the wrinkles around his eyes deeper as Carlos stopped with a skid and placed his hands on the roof of the car, not seeming to care how many different directions his body was being pulled into with the wild, rapid motions.
"I … uh… w-wanted to-" the younger Garcia raised one finger into the air, signaling that he needed a minute while he caught his breath; having been panicked ever since he heard the car door slam while he had been cleaning his cluttered room. "I wanted to ask you about Sage," he clarified breathily, his shoulders slumping with an overly hopeful look that made his father cringe.
Eduardo had been avoiding this conversation for as long as he could. It was now the middle of August, and he had successfully dodged his son's questions for several weeks. He didn't want to disappoint the perpetually joyful boy with his news, or lack thereof, but he had to stop evading Carlos. Mr. Garcia sighed heavily and reached between the driver's and passenger's seats to grab a manila colored folder that he had hidden there for safekeeping. He opened the door slowly and climbed out of the car to stand in front of his son.
"Is that it? Did you find something?" Carlos asked excitedly, looking as if he was going to snatch the file from his father's strong hands. He felt like he had been waiting for ages to hear about any information Eduardo could dig up on Kendall's girlfriend.
"I got some info, but there wasn't anything about where she is now. There were just a few interesting things about her file…" Eduardo paused, watching his son's optimistic smile slip into an uncharacteristic frown, "… and I know you might not want to hear this, but the stuff I got on her only makes me think that it's probably best that she was sent away to get help…"
Carlos' eyes darted up to meet those of his father, shock clearly evident on the boy's features.
"Why would you say that? Sage doesn't need help. She needs Kendall… She needs to be here with us," Carlos insisted, trying his best to remain calm as he folded his tan arms over his broad chest, where his heart beat wildly beneath. He had no clue that his reaction would be so strong when it came to defending Sage, but it felt completely fitting for him to protect the girl. It was like she was already a part of their family. If she was important to Kendall, then she would be just as important to them.
"Carlos, I don't know if Kendall was being completely honest with you…" Eduardo claimed gently, biting the inside of his cheek as he patted his son's shoulder softly.
"You're wrong," the boy declared easily, knowing that Kendall's word was unquestionable.
"Just look at the file," Eduardo kept his voice calm, trying to soothe the rising nerves of his youngest child as he handed the folder over to him.
Carlos rolled his brown eyes dramatically, growling low in his throat out of frustration as he swiped it from his dad's grasp. He realized that there was nothing written on paper that would change his mind about Kendall and Sage, but he also understood that Eduardo didn't comprehend everything the way he did. As a result of curiosity, and in an effort to please his pleading father, he opened the file and scanned its contents while the older man explained it further.
"Sage Henderson started acting out after her mother's suicide several years ago. There's a whole bunch of reports about her drug use and unstable behavior. She was involuntarily committed for a psych evaluation after a public breakdown, and was on suicide watch at the age of fourteen," Eduardo paused, waiting for a reaction from Carlos, but the boy just kept his focus on the papers in front of him and wouldn't look up at his father as his jaw tensed. "There had been other drug rumors in the past, but, just earlier this year, she was admitted to the hospital after being beaten by her dealer. She went in high on heroin and flat out refused to give the name of her assailant."
Everything Kendall had told them was in the folder that Carlos held in his shaking hands. It was all true, but everything was distorted. The evidence of Sage's horrific abuse burned the Latino's eyes as he scanned the pictures they had on file. They appeared to have been taken at the hospital. The skin along her ribs was badly bruised. Her face was still covered in blood from a wound on her head, and there was a cast on her arm. Carlos knew the real reason why Sage had been severely injured on Valentine's Day, but Eduardo's version of the story was constructed with a limited understanding, which everyone seemed to share. Elliot was always left out of the equation or painted as the loving father figure, when, in reality, he was the source of every problem in the savagely beaten girl's life.
As he flipped to the second page in the folder, Carlos had to struggle to keep his emotions in check. There was no picture, so he still couldn't put a face on the monster, but the name at the top of the paper was enough to make him see red. He glanced up at his father, trying to read the words for himself, and hoping that Eduardo would explain the gist of the information he knew would lead to nothing but more anger.
"Officer Elliot Henderson is the only reason Sage stayed out of the legal system. She got herself into a lot of trouble, but Elliot always dug her out. He did his best to stop investigations into her drug problems and keep her safe. In fact, the only report that he is a part of has him listed as the victim," Eduardo explained sadly, knowing that his words were hurting his son, but he had to tell him everything he knew so that the air was clear between them. He stepped forward and flipped the page as he spoke, "Kendall Knight was put into the system for assaulting a police officer, but the investigation was dropped and no charges were filed after Officer Henderson insisted on it."
Carlos bit his tongue, not being able to think of anything to say that wouldn't come out as a scream. None of this was new to him. Kendall had explained it all, but this was just an example of how misleading Elliot was. Carlos and Eduardo were more alike than most fathers and sons, but, right now, it felt like they were on different planets. He had never been angry at his dad before, but now Carlos just wanted to yell at him for not understanding. He felt like he was the only one who could see what was right in front of them.
"Was there anything else on Kendall?" Carlos wanted to get as much as he could from the file while he had it in his hands so that he could tell his friend all of the information he knew, and what was available to the public. It was laughable at how much he and Sage were painted as delinquents. He clenched his teeth as he waited for the answer.
"He was treated for a few serious injuries in March after he was beaten and mugged late in the evening."
That's what the neatly written report claimed. Carlos read it with his own eyes, and it only made him even more livid.
"He wasn't mugged! Elliot and his honorable fellow officers pounded him into the pavement!" Carlos yelled bitterly, reaching his breaking point as he threw the folder onto the muddy ground.
"That's a very serious accusation, Carlos," Eduardo scolded his son lightly, shaking his head in disbelief.
"And so is child abuse, but no one was listening!" Carlos insisted, his wrath still in full effect as he ran his hands through his hair with a heavy sigh. He hadn't mentioned the cruel treatment Sage had been receiving from her stepfather before, but it just came out now. It was physically hurtful to hear someone defend Elliot, but Eduardo appeared to be unaffected by Carlos' harsh words, thinking they were only stemming from his growing anger.
"There is no evidence of abuse, Son. Sage is a troubled girl, and Elliot is an upstanding citizen. He's received multiple commendations for his work at the Ramsey Police Department. He seems like a good man to me, and he kept Sage and adopted her after her mother's death even though he had no legal obligation to her at the time," the eldest Garcia's face softened, knowing that it wasn't what Carlos wanted to hear, but he didn't want him slandering a respectable man of the law.
"I can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are," Carlos growled and chuckled darkly, moving his head from side to side. "Whatever. She's gone anyway, right? You couldn't find anything about where he sent her?" the boy asked with a rigid stance, folding his arms in front of his chest once again. He already knew the answer, but nothing could make his heart sink any lower than it was.
Eduardo nodded slowly, bending down to pick the file up off of the ground. He wiped the dirt from the cover and turned to the last page.
"The latest information on Sage says that she dropped out of Ramsey High School in May. Both she and Elliot were present at the time, and that's where the trail ends. He probably put her into a private institution where they helped place her with a nice foster family," Eduardo attempted to assure his son, patting his tense shoulder soothingly. "It sounds like she was in a lot of trouble, and she needed some help that Elliot and Kendall couldn't give her. Her stepfather probably did the right thing by sending her away. Sage and Kendall only seemed to put each other in danger. Separating them was for the best-"
"It is not for the best!" Carlos declared, throwing his hands into the air. "Kendall and Sage love each other. He needs her like you need Mom."
"He's only seventeen," Eduardo insisted, keeping his voice steady. He knew that his son was upset, but he couldn't ever understand the real reason why. He didn't know what the boys and the Knight family knew.
"So were you," Carlos countered him quickly, smirking smugly. Eduardo and Adriana had been high school sweethearts, starting nearly the first day of freshman year. They had declared that it was love at first sight, and Carlos believed in that type of connection at an early age. That's why it was so easy to accept Sage and Kendall as the perfect couple. If Kendall said it was love, then that was good enough for Carlos.
"We don't know Sage, and you haven't seen Kendall in years. You don't know what he's become."
Eduardo couldn't understand the friendship between the four boys; how indestructible and resilient it was to time and anything else that threatened to tear it apart. He seemed sad to have to hurt his son, but Eduardo thought he was speaking the truth. He had every reason to believe what the file in his hands told him. It was evidence in black and white, but Carlos had learned recently that the world was not that simple. Elliot, and others like him, distorted reality and twisted it to suit their needs. Officer Henderson had quickly discovered ways to use the law to his advantage. He played his game perfectly; so perfectly that a wonderful man like Eduardo Garcia could believe that Elliot was as good as he was. It sickened Carlos to see his father standing up for a man that wasn't worth the dirt beneath their feet, but he couldn't make him see the facts after being presented with the type of information Eduardo made his living on. To him, these files were all he needed. The evidence spoke for itself. It saved lives and locked up criminals. Carlos couldn't explain that, this time, the system was letting them all down.
"I know who he is, and I trust him. Kendall is not lying about Sage," Carlos spoke calmly, but his fierce frustration laced every word as he spun around and stormed off.
He no longer looked like the young boy Eduardo and Adriana had raised. He looked like a young adult more than he ever had before. He was angry, but seemed strong and sure. It was the first time he had openly argued with his father, but Eduardo almost felt proud of his only boy. Carlos, who usually avoided conflict and focused on the fun in life, was standing up for his friends, and loyalty was an admirable trait to possess. He knew he was upset, but Eduardo was sure that it would all work out. Carlos was tough, and he was old enough to make his own decisions. Eduardo just hoped that he was wrong about Kendall, and that the blonde wouldn't end up hurting his friends with what seemed to be a streak of rash behavior.
Elliot had succeeded in tainting Kendall's image, but that was the least of Carlos' problems. Right now, he couldn't care less about what his father thought of Kendall. He was too concerned with having to break the bad news to his best friend. Carlos had seen his father as their last chance to find Sage, and, not only did it not pan out like he wanted it to, but the results only served to help him identify with the frustration Kendall had shown. It felt like he could talk and talk, but no one would listen. Elliot is good at what he does.
As Carlos walked to Kendall's house, where he was supposed to meet the guys, the weather shifted to reflect his mood. A light breeze blew, but then the air grew still at ground level. High above him, clouds rolled in at a rapid pace, darkening the blue sky slightly until a greenish shade took over. The Latino sped up, quickly making the short walk with his head down and his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
When he reached the Knight house, he paused near the front door and heard laughter from the backyard before he lifted his arm to knock. With a permanent scowl on his face, Carlos took a deep breath and strolled along the side of the house towards the noise. He stopped at the sight before him, staying hidden in the shadow of the home beside him. He wasn't surprised that James, Logan, and Kendall were outside. The blonde often avoided being inside with Katie and Karen as much as he could. The family was still tense and cold around one another, but Kendall was healing. He was actually laughing.
"Read another one," Kendall's voice rang out brightly between fits of laughter from where he sat on top of the fence surrounding the backyard.
He had a large oak tree behind him to press his shoulders into so that he wouldn't fall, and his feet rested against the horizontal support beam of the wood. His long arms stretched out as he reached to the right to catch a ball that Logan threw, nearly sending him off of the fence, but he didn't seem to mind or notice. Logan sat on the ground a few yards away from him with his legs folded beneath his body. They both smiled and tossed the green ball back and forth, glancing occasionally at James, who was situated in a lawn chair at a picnic table on the patio with his ankles crossed on the tabletop and a magazine in his hands.
"Why do you want to hear more? This stuff is ridiculous," Logan giggled, despite his words, and leaned all the way back until his shoulders touched the ground when Kendall threw a fastball. He caught it with a heavy breath and then tossed it back to his friend at the top of the fence.
"Logie, you only think it's stupid because you're a virgin," James insisted teasingly, smirking as his eyes left the men's magazine in his lap and met those of the brunette on the ground.
"Whatever. Where do you even get these magazines, anyway?" Logan asked, chuckling as he tried to keep his focus on Kendall, who was grinning and faking him out by threatening to throw the ball twice before actually releasing it into the air.
"My dad leaves them on the coffee table," James responded with a nonchalant shrug, leaning further back in his chair so that the legs rose slightly off of the ground.
"Yeah, because that's exactly the type of thing you should leave out to entertain company," the smart boy replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and gesturing to the magazine, which had a picture of a tan and scantily clad woman on the cover.
"I find it entertaining," Kendall commented randomly, smirking at Logan when he received a disapproving glare.
"What a coincidence. Me too! It's two against one, Logan. So, just listen and absorb the knowledge I'm offering you. This way, you'll be prepared when you finally decide to forget about your chastity," James teased him with a fake look of authority, which Logan chose to ignore while the tallest boy began reading from the article they had been perusing for the last few minutes as they waited for Carlos. "It says here that 'premature ejaculation can thwart a man's sex life. In a recent survey, nearly one third of all 18 to 29-year-old men say climaxing too early is a problem'… What a bunch of losers! Only inexperienced, nerdy virgins would bust before even getting to the best parts," James declared arrogantly, snickering as he turned the page of the magazine.
Kendall rolled his eyes at his friend's attitude and shared a knowing look with Logan as the brunette threw the ball up to him and addressed James. Carlos grinned softly, loving how healthy Kendall appeared compared to only a month earlier. He was engaging openly and smiling without seeming to be in emotional pain. Although he was relatively quiet, the Latino suspected it was only because a conversation between Logan and James could be as entertaining as any movie they've ever seen. Sometimes it was a comedy, and sometimes it was a drama, but, usually, it was a mixture of both.
"Premature ejaculation is not a laughing matter, James. It's in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's a serious issue that people suffer from," Logan insisted sternly, taking on his role as future-doctor and already sounding sympathetic to an invisible patient. The pretty boy just gave him a smug smile and raised a sharp eyebrow at him.
"Oh, did I hit a soft spot?"
"Shove it, Diamond! It's not like you're perfect in every way," Logan seemed sure of himself as he turned his attention back to Kendall. He was ready to keep tossing the ball back and forth, but James wasn't going to let the conversation go.
"I've never gotten any complaints," James spoke without a single trace of humbleness.
"How would you know? You don't even stick around long enough to learn their last name, let alone what they'd rate your performance," Logan was snide as he commented on his friend's promiscuous behavior, but James' personality always stayed as bright as his smile.
"Doesn't matter. I already have the answer. I'm always a ten."
Before Logan could respond with another comeback, Carlos decided it was time to step in and stop hiding in the shadows. He was hoping that his own mood, which had been dampened by his discussion with his father, would liven up with the high energy surrounding him and the boys. He walked quickly across the lawn and sat down between Logan and James on the moist ground.
"What are you guys up to?" he asked, praying that he sounded more cheerful than he felt as he pretended to have no idea what they were discussing.
"Hopefully something else now that you're here," Logan sighed in exasperation, smiling thankfully at him before turning to catch the ball thrown by Kendall, who slumped his shoulders and softened his smirk.
"James was just teasing Logan," Kendall explained to Carlos shortly and then turned to Logan. "We know you're perfectly capable of satisfying your partner, Logie," Kendall spoke diplomatically, coming in between the rising tension with an easygoing smile of encouragement. His friend opened his mouth to thank him, but was cut off by James.
"You can't satisfy what doesn't exist," he declared in a sing-song voice, not even looking up from the magazine in his hands.
Carlos ducked right before Logan chucked the ball at James with all of his strength and then wore a smug expression as he watched him let out an unmanly squeal. He fell from his chair when the ball connected forcibly with his chest, and his ass hit the patio beneath him with a satisfying thud. Carlos giggled and watched James jump to his feet hastily, wiping the nonexistent dirt from his outfit almost as soon as he was upright.
"Nice!" Kendall announced his approval with a chuckle as he hopped off of the fence with a high amount of energy.
"Okay, I've completed my literature quota for the day. Let's go to the mall," James' tone was jovial as he walked the short distance to stand in front of Logan.
James held out his hand to help the boy off of the ground, offering a silent apology, admitting he deserved the rough treatment for pushing his buttons too hard. Logan shot him a lopsided grin and let James pull him up, just as silently accepting the expression of regret. They easily bumped shoulders, and all ill feelings were forgotten. It was just the nature of their bickering relationship. Arguments were both started and finished easily.
"Aw, how bromantic!" Kendall commented in an overly dreamy voice, turning to Carlos for more backup in the banter.
The Latino only managed to smile weakly from his position on the grass, causing all eyes to land on him.
"Are you alright, Carlitos? You seem too quiet…" Kendall wondered for them all. The three teens were looking at the youngest boy with curiosity and apprehension. It wasn't often that Carlos was silent. They had a better chance of Logan failing an algebra test.
"Yeah, um… actually, I have to tell-"
Carlos fumbled over his words nervously and was literally saved by the bell or, in this case, the siren. The drone of the town's alarm suddenly filled the still air, and the sky was darkening more and more by the second. The sound was shrill, but the boys were able to hear each other clearly over the noise.
"Shit!" Kendall yelled angrily.
It was a tornado warning, but he wasn't too concerned with the probable disaster. He was more worried about what it meant. They were going to have to spend an indefinite amount of time in the Knight's basement with Katie and Karen. Kendall had been avoiding them like the plague ever since his depression started. Things were still awkward among them. They used to be so close, but not anymore. Kendall drove them all apart, and now he didn't want to face what he had created.
"Logan, please tell me there is some statistical bullshit you can feed my mom that will let her think it's safer for me to stay out here?" Kendall asked hopefully, already dragging his feet in the direction of the backdoor.
"Get in the house, Kendall," Logan instructed him sternly, pushing the stubborn blonde with James and Carlos close behind them. They all knew about Kendall's shattered relationship with his family, and they all wanted it fixed as soon as possible, but they wouldn't push their friend after just recently getting him to put down his walls for them.
"Hurry! If the wind starts to pick up, I'm never gonna get my hair back into place," James' panicky voice drove them forward, along with his large hands on their shoulders, as they slid through the back entrance of the Knight house, where Karen stood anxiously waving her arms over the sound of the warning siren.
Being in Tornado Alley, the reoccurring tornado warnings were nothing new to the people of the central U.S. It was part of living in the area. They had plenty of insurance and were well briefed in safety during the dangerous storms. Kendall, James, Carlos, Logan, and Karen all filed into the basement, where Katie already sat with a first aid kit and a battery-powered radio. All of the necessities were taken care of, and, once they were settled down, all that there was left to do was wait. This was the hardest part for Kendall.
It wasn't long before he found himself huddled in the corner with his knees raised to his chest. He was doing his best to stay silent as the world continued moving around him. The whole group of six sat close together in the part of the basement where there were no windows, and the dark room was dimly lit by a few battery-powered lanterns situated on the shelves and an old wobbly table along one of the walls, which Katie and Carlos sat on top of. The pair was playing a game of poker with James, who had pulled over a heavy cardboard box to use as a chair. Logan was triple-checking the first aid kit and fiddling with the radio every now and then, listening to the emergency weather broadcast to keep everyone updated on the tornado, which was relatively weak at the moment and barely making contact with the ground, but its path remained unpredictable. Karen was in the opposite corner of the basement, either consciously or subconsciously choosing to sit as far away from her son as possible, while she read a random novel she had found on the shelves to occupy her time.
"Katie wins again," Carlos sighed, feigning frustration with a grin as the brunette girl pulled the mound of peanuts, or "poker chips", to her growing pile on the table beneath her.
"You're too good," James whined dramatically, trying to sneak a peanut from Carlos' batch and receiving a rough slap to his hand. He stuck his tongue out at the Latino, causing Katie to giggle at the interaction.
"Sage taught me probability," the girl declared proudly, smirking and shifting her legs into a more comfortable position as Carlos gathered the cards and shuffled to prepare for another hand.
Kendall's heart instantly sunk into his stomach. He had only ever talked about Sage with the guys. He liked to pretend that Katie and Karen never knew her. This way, they wouldn't be able to be negatively affected by the turn of events their lives had taken like he had been. Kendall just wanted to be broken and damaged by himself. He wanted to carry all of his family's burdens alone.
"Really?" Logan perked up at the mention of mathematics and turned to Katie with a friendly smile of curiosity. He leaned against the table with his arms folded. "What else did she-"
"Can we not, please?" Kendall begged, sounding annoyed. He glared at the group, who all frowned. His friends' eyes stayed on him for a few moments, as if asking him to reconsider, but Katie immediately started to move her peanuts around with her fingertips and bit her bottom lip.
The overwhelming silence was back now. Inside of the basement, the air was so thick and still that you could almost choke on it, while a tornado rustled the trees and kicked up dirt a few miles away. This group couldn't care less about the natural disaster, knowing that the radio reported its weakening strength. The real storm was brewing in the room with them.
"Those bracelets are cool," Carlos commented randomly, pointing to Katie's tiny wrist and attempting to change the subject.
"Oh, god…" Kendall groaned and thumped his head against the wall behind him. He knew they were talking about the friendship bracelets that Katie, Sage, and Kendall all wore since the day they left North Dakota. He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them and focusing on the two bands around his own wrist. His fingers danced over them thoughtfully as he thought about who they represented.
Katie and Sage were the two most important girls in his life. Kendall had kept all of the memories of his girlfriend close to his heart and held onto them tightly even in her absence, but he had let his relationship with the other girl fall into the background. He was avoiding Katie on purpose. Being around her and his mother felt wrong and irresponsible. If he spent time with her, he'd be a terrible big brother. It would be like letting her play with an electrical toy that had a short circuit. Kendall knew he was damaged and acting differently than he normally would. James, Carlos, and Logan could handle it. They were his equals, but he had to take care of his family. They needed him to be stronger. He felt like this was a necessary sacrifice until he was fully repaired, which didn't even seem plausible unless Sage came waltzing through the front door.
"I made them earlier in the year. Sage, Kendall, and I all wear matching ones," Katie explained softly, darting her eyes to her brother in the corner.
She expected him to oppose the conversation, but he wasn't stopping her. It was useless. No matter what, everything leads back to Sage.
"That's cool. They look good on you," James insisted sweetly, trying to make the little girl's frown disappear with his charm. It worked, and Katie was smiling again, but it was only a little one as she picked at the thread around her wrist absentmindedly.
"You miss her a lot, huh?" Carlos assumed sadly, his shoulders slumping as he placed the shuffled cards to the side.
The poker game didn't seem entertaining anymore. He could see the turmoil all over the little girl's face. It wasn't until now that he fully realized what Katie had been through. His focus was on Kendall for the last few months, but the pictures of Sage's beaten body were in his mind now. Katie looked up to the girl, and she had to watch her get hurt over and over again. The youngest Knight was undoubtedly traumatized, but her brother refused to talk to her about it.
"Yeah, all the time," she admitted weakly, smiling gratefully at Carlos for the open discussion. "She's like my sister."
"Do you guys think we could change the subject?" Kendall's voice cut through the room like a knife. All eyes were on him. He didn't sound angry. He looked to be on the verge of tears.
"I think we should talk about Sage," Karen declared sternly, tossing her book to the ground and sliding over to the nearest wall so she could see her son more clearly. He didn't look amused.
"Mom, please don't-"
"No, Kendall. You can't keep avoiding this… You can't keep avoiding us," Karen insisted firmly, sharing a look with Katie to let her know it was time for a discussion. The young girl put a brave face on, the one that made her look older than anyone else in the room, and stood in a united front with her mother.
Kendall shook his head and stared at his friends for support, but James, Carlos, and Logan weren't helping. The whole group was looking at him expectantly.
"Thanks for the help, guys," he rolled his eyes and spoke sarcastically.
"We are helping, Kendall," Logan kept his voice soft, but strict. He wasn't going to let Kendall back out of this conversation again.
"Then why does it feel like you're trapping me?" Kendall asked, chuckling bitterly and stretching his legs out in front of him. His body felt tense and sore.
"Because you're scared. Your mom is trying so hard to help you, and you just don't care. They need you, Kendall, and, if you stop caring about the people who love you, you'll turn into someone like my dad."
Logan's speech silenced the room once again. He never spoke about his father if he could help it. The man had let him down on more than one occasion. Patrick abused his son and wife, and then chose drugs over the family he used to care for so dearly. He made all the wrong decisions, and Logan wasn't about to watch his best friend take the same destructive path. Unlike him, Kendall had a family. Logan was forced to sit at home alone while his workaholic mother spent all of her time out of town, treating her son like he didn't exist most of the time. He didn't agree with Kendall's actions, and he was tired of sitting back and watching it happen.
"What do you want me to say?" Kendall asked, sighing in exasperation and running a hand through his hair.
"Just say anything. It's better than silence," Karen seemed exhausted, but relieved that Kendall was done fighting. "You think you're the only one suffering. Katie lost her sister. I lost my daughter, and we don't know if we'll get her back," the eldest Knight was in tears, making Kendall and Katie form some of their own. The boys watched on quietly, hoping this would lead to the healing of the family that used to be so strong.
"I feel like you guys count on me, but I'm not doing anything worthy of praise. You can't be around me. You're tough, and I'm not anymore. It feels like I'm going to hurt you just by being around you," Kendall admitted weakly, wiping the tears from his eyes before they could fall.
"You're so selfish!" Katie yelled wildly, hopping off of the table and throwing her hands into the air out of frustration.
Kendall was shocked at the outburst, but he didn't feel like he was capable of arguing.
"You're doing this for yourself. Don't use me and Mom as an excuse. You dodge us every day because of your own pain. You don't want to be reminded of our family. Sage is gone, but we're still here! You're choosing to shut us out," Katie's anger was fading as she walked to stand in front of her brother.
Kendall was staring at her in amazement. It was all true, but he just couldn't see it until his little sister was screaming at him. He had thought he was being selfless, but he was wrong. He was doing more harm than good, and he was instantly regretting his poorly constructed decisions.
"You taught me that we have to face life head on. It's what Dad taught you," Katie added gently, wrapping her arms around her torso as she continued to cry.
"I'm s-sorry… I'm so fuckin' sorry," Kendall mumbled and jumped off of the ground and lifted his baby sister into the air. Karen rose at the same time, walking across the room with a stifled sob.
He felt like he let Katie down, and now he was going to do anything to make it up to her and his mother. Kendall was supposed to stand in as the man of his family when his father died, but he had failed miserably. Before they had even started moving around at an early age, Kendall and Katie were strongly bonded together. They relied on one another when they had no one else that understood their lives, and he had just given up. He thought Katie was resilient enough to handle this, but he forgets sometimes that she's only a young girl because of how mature she can be. Katie will always need her big brother.
"I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna be better. I promise," Kendall whispered shakily, holding his sister tightly in his squeezing arms as he kissed her hair. Karen moved in front of him with a teary, relieved smile. "I promise," he repeated to his mother with a short nod.
The Knight family huddled together for a group hug, connecting intensely for the first time since North Dakota. They couldn't help but notice that they were absent one member. James, Carlos, and Logan were in the room, but Sage was still missing from the equation. They would have to figure things out, but they would do it together. They're no good apart.
"This is awesome," Carlos was suddenly wrapping his arms around the trio, adding another person to their huddle with a breathy laugh.
He always fed off of the emotions of those around him, and, right now, he felt relieved and calm, despite the tornado threatening them from the outside. The wind howled and the trees rustled relentlessly, but no one seemed to care. In fact, the weather appeared to be calming down as the seconds passed.
Logan abandoned the radio, which was announcing the end of the storm that had ended up not directly hitting their neighborhood after all, and chuckled as he joined the group hug. Everyone was teary-eyed and smiling. They embraced each other cheerfully; glad that the last divider between them was falling. It was going to take time, but, with everyone pitching in, the Knights could be okay again. They could be happy.
"James, are you getting in on this?" Carlos asked joyfully, jumping with his arms around the group. James was still sitting on the box he used as a chair and playing with the end of his shirt.
"I can't," he bit his bottom lip with a shake of his head. Those that were engaging in the embrace frowned and broke apart to stare at the brunette curiously.
James looked agitated. He pushed out a heavy breath between his lips and stood up abruptly.
"You know, I said that I understood, but I don't. I don't get this shit at all," he laughed sarcastically and threw a hand into his hair, not seeming to care that it was being ruffled. "Love is stupid. Look at what it's doing to all of you. You're happy now, but it never lasts! It ruined your life. It comes and goes. You can't rely on it. It only lets you down," he trailed off weakly, breathing unsteadily as he paced the short length of the room.
James always knew love existed, but he never liked it. It ruined his family and made his parents resent each other to the point of brutal hatred. All love brought him was nasty arguments over custody and little things that never mattered in the first place. He put on a brave smile, but he loathed his parents' volatile relationship. They were so in love, and then they turned on each other. He didn't want his friends to go through that kind of pain. That's why he usually preferred to only engage in relationships with no commitment. It was easier not to get hurt if you focused on the pleasure in life rather than the heartache.
"Why would you even try it if it causes this much pain?"
"Because the outcome is supposed to be worth it," Carlos declared simply, easily believing in a powerful love like his parents'.
"It all seems so stupid, but I'll be here when you guys crash and burn," James rolled his eyes dismissively, still fidgeting with his fingers nervously as he tried to lighten the mood. No one was buying it, but he wasn't going to continue the conversation anymore. James was the master at recovering from a meltdown. "Can we go upstairs now? The warning's over, and I need to see a mirror," James gestured to the radio, which was giving the all clear, and patted the top of his disheveled hair. He was acting too nonchalant, obviously covering his annoyance.
Kendall, Logan, and Carlos stared at each other anxiously, all of them shrugging at once in a silent agreement to drop the subject for now. James had a lot of relationship issues that he would never admit to. The Knight family had been repaired. Climbing that mountain was enough for one day.
"Hey, Mom, could you make lunch, and we can all stay here today?" Kendall asked hopefully, smiling to himself as he made an effort at being open with his family. They may get hurt, but everyone does. They would deal with it all together.
"I'd love that. I got dinosaur-shaped chicken!" Karen responded brightly, ushering them all upstairs after James, who ran like he was on fire.
They all settled into the kitchen after Carlos and James called their parents to let them know everything was fine. The tornado had only reached an F1 on the Fujita Scale. A few roofs on the edge of Sherwood had been damaged, but there was nothing too severe.
Kendall sat on a stool at the center of the room, leaning on the island with Katie in his lap as they engaged in a thumb war. Logan laughed beside them while Carlos seated himself on top of the counter with James resting against the wall in front of them. Karen shuffled pans into the oven and set the timer.
"Listen, since we're all in a sharing mood, I have something I need to tell you," Carlos admitted, biting at his thumb nervously as his eyes met Kendall's.
"What is it?" Logan asked him, getting anxious at the worried look on his friend's face.
"I asked my dad to see what he could find on Sage," he paused and wanted to cry all over again at the hopeful looks Katie, Karen, and Kendall were giving him. "There wasn't anything new; just a bunch of infuriating stuff about how great Elliot is and how you and Sage are delinquents," he mumbled sadly, keeping it vague. If the details made him angry, he couldn't imagine how upset Kendall would get.
"Yeah, we were real bad-asses," Kendall scoffed and bit the inside of his cheek.
"There were, uh, pictures of her in the h-hospital," Carlos stuttered as the Knights tensed, having specific memories and not needing the physical images to understand what he was feeling. Logan and James looked disgusted and upset at the thought of the innocent girl, which they saw in the pictures Kendall had, bloodied and beaten. "Was it always that bad?"
"There were good days… and there were terrible days," Kendall admitted gloomily, but the group was happy to see him staying present in the conversation. His arms wrapped tighter around Katie, who squeezed him back with as much force as she could muster. "There really wasn't anything else in the file?"
"No, nothing we didn't know. The official trail that my dad could access ended with her dropping out of school, but you already knew that from when you called that Dustin guy," Carlos offered lamely, shrugging helplessly. He wished he could have brought better news.
"So, everything's okay," James declared suddenly, trying to brighten the mood, "I mean, it's not really okay, but it's the same. We can deal with that."
"James is right. What's nine more months? She'll be released from foster care in May, and we'll be able to find her then. She could be anywhere right now, but we'll make sure she knows where we are when the time comes. There's always the internet," Logan added cheerfully, his excitement rising at the prospect of meeting Sage.
"And I get into enough trouble to end up on the news! We'll make it impossible for her not to find us," Carlos giggled happily with agreement all around.
With this amount of support, Kendall felt like a good future was possible. He felt confident that Sage was in a better place as long as she wasn't with her stepfather, because there was nothing worse than Elliot. She would be scared and alone, but Sage was strong, and she could handle foster care. She had made it through years without Kendall, and she could take a few more months. With her looking for him, and all of his family looking for her, they would be reunited. He was sure of it.
They just had to wait.
"... We will make it 'til tomorrow and past the sorrow…"
The words felt like a lie, or a shaky promise at best, as Sage wrote them in her notebook with a delicate hand, but she knew it was what Kendall would say. His voice running through her memories was the only thing keeping her sane. He gave her something to make every day with Elliot bearable, and she wasn't about to give it up now that she was in the thick of hell. It certainly couldn't get any worse. Sage had no clue what she was doing. She had no plans other than to wait it out until something changed. Right now, if felt like she was serving a life sentence.
The deadbolt on the door clicked in a sickeningly familiar way, making Sage tense up and grip her pen tightly. She had been sitting at her desk writing lyrics for the last several hours; having nothing else to do with her time, but she wouldn't actually sing or make any noise if she could help it. She missed her piano. She missed the guitar. She missed Kendall.
"What are you doing?" Elliot asked in a friendly tone as he shut and locked the door behind him. He sauntered across the room and sat on the edge of her bed nonchalantly, like his curious behavior was normal. Sage didn't have to look at him to know he was wearing a calm smile.
"Writing," she answered quickly and shortly, keeping everything as vague possible. She may have had no control over her body anymore, but Sage was happy to be able to choose her words, and she always decided to keep her conversations with Elliot to a minimum. Sometimes it worked out, and sometimes it didn't.
"What are you writing?" Elliot inquired further, still sounding amused at her frigidness towards him. He clasped his hands together and rested them over his legs as he leaned forward on the bed with his stepdaughter's back turned to him.
"Words."
"How poetic," he chuckled darkly at her stiff posture and monotone responses.
Elliot climbed off of the bed and shortened the distance between them, stopping just behind Sage with his cold hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly, but recovered quickly by adjusting the way she sat in her seat. No matter how many times he had been on top of her, Elliot always made her nervous. It was as if, for a split second, she believed she could run from him, but then the feeling was gone and replaced by one of submission out of pure fear.
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
The real answer was that she was always hungry. Elliot only fed her once a day when he stopped home from work or entered her room for other activities. He did it on purpose; feeding her just enough to keep her standing, but little enough so that she remained weak. It made her responses slower, and she put up less of a fight. Sage was pretty sure that she'd feel just as helpless even if she ate three times a day. Elliot transformed her into nothing.
"You should eat something," he insisted with a squeeze to the back of her neck, feeling her cold, pale skin tingle beneath his palm.
"Okay," she gave in easily, going along with everything he said. There was really no choice.
"Why are you doing that? Can't you just talk to me?" Elliot whined softly, sighing as he shuffled over to stand beside her and forced her to look up at him.
He was acting as if she was being rude to him; as if she was hurting his feelings. The thought would have normally made Sage want to laugh, but she knew how serious he was. She knew that the feelings Elliot had for her and the illusions he held about their relationship were the real deal. He was insane, and she was stuck with him.
"What do you want me to say?"
"Just tell me what you're thinking," Elliot offered cheerfully, leaning the back of his thighs against her desk and crossing his arms over his chest as he stared down at her for the answer. He seemed genuinely interested in what Sage had to say, and he desperately wanted them to engage like a normal couple would.
"Trust me, you don't want to know what I'm thinking," Sage insisted firmly, looking up at his brown eyes in a display of defiance, like she knew he was practically reading her mind at that moment. Elliot's jaw grinded as his teeth clenched. His friendly smile settled into a threatening smirk.
"Try me."
Sage swallowed hard, silently cursing herself for walking right into the trap. She was still learning Elliot's tricks and attitudes, but, even after she was sure that she had it down to a science, he always outwitted her. He had all the power, and now she was forced to follow his lead. It didn't matter much, though. The outcome was always painfully the same when he stepped foot into her room for long periods of time.
Her eyes darted to the bed at the thought of their days and nights together. Sage avoided that piece of furniture at all costs. It was the place of her rape and torment. It wasn't where she could sleep, not that she actually found much rest anyway. The nightmares that plagued her only served to repeat the actual tortures of her waking hours. If she wanted to lie down, she preferred the bathtub or even a space on the floor. She wouldn't even touch the sheets or pillows. They were all tainted by Elliot, and just being near the fabric made her skin crawl and her thoughts turn dark. No matter how hard she tried, Sage had memorized every sickening second of the time Elliot spent touching her.
"I hate being here. I don't like you, and I never will," Sage stated it simply, like she was talking to a child, because Elliot never seemed to hear her when she cried and begged for mercy or freedom.
"Shut up…" Elliot snarled a warning, obviously not enjoying her answer, and stepped closer to her so that their legs were touching.
Sage should have bit her tongue the second that he grabbed her wrist, but she was tired of being quiet. She'd pay for it later, but it felt good to watch Elliot squirm for a change. She knew her permanent hatred towards him was his biggest fear. Elliot had made it clear that he wanted the love Kendall had unknowingly stolen from him.
"You won't hurt me," Sage announced smugly, crying and yelling on the inside at the way he was glaring at her hungrily and tightening his grasp on her. "You love me, right?" she smirked, and used his feelings against him, and that was the last straw for her stepfather.
Elliot growled and struck her hard across her face before grabbing her by the hair and lifting her small body off of the chair she was seated in. He threw her onto the bed like a ragdoll, not requiring much strength to move her. He laughed as her tears fell and her tough exterior cracked easily. As she bit her bleeding lip, Elliot climbed on top of her so that his hard body straddled her shaking one on the mattress she hated so much. The beatings had never stopped. He just added rape to the torturous mix. He preferred using his whole body to own her. His hands were wrapped securely around her throat, adding pressure as he spoke with an arrogant grin.
"You know I love you, but I hope you also remember what I can do. I won't kill you, but I'll make you beg me to."
He continued to laugh as she wiggled beneath him, his hands grabbing at her clothing to remove it. Their argument was like foreplay to him. Elliot loved asserting his power almost as much as he loved watching Sage submit to it. She cried silently and went limp right after he took the familiar blade out of his pocket and drew it across her thin abdomen just hard enough to leave a scratch. This one wouldn't scar, but she had a few others that did. The blade always did its job. It either kept her still from the start, or it dug into her skin when she thrashed around to remind her of her dangerous position. Her body was permanently marked with evidence of her time with Elliot, which seemed like it was never going to end, but there was nothing Sage could do about it other than survive.
She just had to wait.
A/N: What do you think? I don't have much to say other than: stay tuned ;D
Please REVIEW and let me know what you thought of this :D As usual, anonymous reviews are enabled :)