Chapter 21

Mothers, Daughters; Fathers, Sons

PART 4 of 5

(MAKE SURE TO READ PART 3 FIRST!)

The morning after was not starting off in a good place. I tried to blow my hair off my face with my mouth. But it was stuck to my face for some damn reason. Only one eye would open up when I swiped it away so I could actually see. The sun light was making my head throb already. This was not a familiar bedroom to me. "Oh shit. This is very bad."

Once I finally managed to move. I had a t-shirt on and just my panties. The covers were bunched up over a huge lump in the bed beside me. "Oh fuck. This is even worse."

When I got both eyes opened and to focus finally on my surroundings. I actually knew where I was. Carefully, I moved the covers back and expected to see his naked body underneath them. "What the fuck?" Tig and Nicole were snuggled up together with me, in Kyle's bed.

One would have thought this was the worst part of it. But, oh no, not even close. Nicole was dressed in just a t-shirt and panties too. It was Tig that worried me. He had on a black Zorro cape, mask and a pair of women's pink ruffled panties. "This is just fucked up."

People who drank on a regular bases had to be crazy to do it. Knowing the next day would come eventually and they would feel like shit. My mouth was so dry, my head hurt so bad it made my hair hurt too. Even the slightest movement made my body ached in pain.

"I see one of the lushes made it up."

"How did we get here, Kyle?"

"Nicole called me drunk at four o'clock this morning and needed a ride from the strip club. In exchange for the ride she offered a tit shot from you. Which she did text it to my phone because apparently all of you were doing it all night with someone, even Tig. When I got there I found my sister riding on Tig's back like a horse in the parking lot and his cape was the saddle. I think she was yelling; if you let me ride you, I'll let you ride me. I'm not real sure of that one."

"I don't remember any of that."

Kyle pushed a button on his phone and showed me all the pictures we had sent him. I was as embarrassed as hell. He had tit shots on there from me, Gemma and even one of Tig.

"You all closed down several bars before closing down the strip club. It's probably why Gemma was a getting a private dance from two of the four strippers in the parking lot she was smoking weed and drinking with. Then there was you, Tara. You had your tongue stuck down the throat of Joe the Fireman."

"Paramedic, actually he is a paramedic."

"Whatever."

Nicole and Tig felt no better than I did. Tig looked the worst actually as they came crawling in the kitchen on their hands and knees. "Somebody fucking shoot me, man."

"How did Nicole and I get your t-shirts on?"

"It was a beautiful thing. I got this one." Tig shot a video of me and Nicole on his phone. We had gotten sick in Kyle's truck and had it all over our clothes. We sort of took each others clothes off in his front yard while we hosed the other down outside. "I treasure our time together, girls."

"Thanks for ruining that fantasy for me by doing it with my sister, Tara. By the way, Joe the Fireman wants you to call him."

"Paramedic." Tig, Nicole and I all three corrected Kyle this time.

"Whatever."

My hands where a mess from touching my face. "What is stuck to my face?"

"Syrup and butter from face planting in your stack of pancakes, girl. You all just had to stop for breakfast and then threw up in my truck. Just so you know, it wasn't Joe the Fireman who pulled you out of the pancakes and took care of your drunk ass either."

"He is a paramedic, Kyle. He only dances as a fireman. Who has a smokin hot ass too. Joe asked Tara out again after what happened and he signed his thong for her. You should have seen it. Tara went down in his pretty little fire red thong to get her bracelet back and his dick flopped out on stage for all of us to see. It was the funniest…" Kyle shot Nicole a hateful look. "Maybe, I'll finish the story later on."

"Yeah, doll. You've been bringing the sexy on lately and having more fun than I've ever seen you have. Seriously, you oozed sexy last night, Tara."

"Yeah, Tara. You've been sexier lately and feeling it more than you ever have. Any particular reason for it? Who makes you feel that way?" I stuck my tongue out at Kyle. I knew what he meant by it. "Don't stick that tongue out at me, girl. Unless you're going to use it."

"Does anybody know what the hell happened to my pants?"

"Yeah, Tig, I do. They are in the back of the truck with the rest of your stuff because you bet the gay Zorro dancer your dick was bigger than his. I won't even repeat what you had to do because it was a tie."

"Oh yeah, now I remember that Kyle. Man, that was sort of fun."

"Nobody gets to leave here until my truck gets cleaned up." Not a one of us said a word. Kyle seemed sort of pissy about that too. "Get your asses moving." Well, he wasn't exactly soft spoken about it either. As loud as he yelled; Nicole and I both grabbed our heads.

"Yes drill Sargent." His sister gave him the one finger solute with it.

While Tig got to set in the lawn chair under a shade tree and eat a burrito. Kyle stood over us with his arms crossed. He was of sort mad today.

The smell alone was terrible when we opened the doors. It had set and baked in the hot sun. It gagged us from it. I couldn't wait to get this job over with.

Nicole in protest threw her rag down in the bucket of bleach water. "Why doesn't Tig have to help?"

"Because I didn't hurl in it ten times like you girls did."

"You missed a spot on the door, Nicole."

"Thank you for pointing that out to me, Kyle."

At a turtles speed we finished it finally. Before Tig got in the truck to leave he yelled at Nicole. "Next time baby, I get to ride you."

"You're on, Tigger."

Since Gemma got dropped off at her house. Kyle took Tig to get her car so he could go back to the clubhouse in it. It was a damn good thing Jax was off on club business. Tig gave me his word he would never tell Jax anything about our night out. Somehow, I believed Tig really wouldn't.

While they were gone Nicole and I showered. I felt like warmed over dog shit. I took aspirins to help with the headache and drank a couple of glasses of water. "Shit, I gotta do Gemma's going away party tonight."

As soon as Kyle got back. He dropped off Nicole first. He hadn't spoken a word to me on the way to Gemma's house. "Thanks for picking us up."

"Are you just purposely trying to enrage, push his buttons to piss off Jax? You blew up his bike."

"It was an accident."

Nero came down the stairs as soon as he seen us pull up. "I wanna talk to both of you." Gemma had already taken the kids to my house to Nitta. She was supposed to watch them for me while we had the party.

"You guys know Gemma and I are leaving soon. I'm worried about the two of you. I love you like you are my own children. Where is this going between you? What is really going on? I don't wanna hear any bullshit because I am about to lock you in a room together until you work this shit out." Silence is all Nero got from the both of us.

"Kyle, do got anything you wanna say?"

"You know I can't, Nero. I don't have a choice or say in it. I'm not going to let Tara get hurt because of me."

"Tara, how about you?"

"I don't want to see anything happen to Kyle either. Because Jax will do horrible things to him. Kyle is still willing to help out with the kids for me and we will always be friends. I still have a lot to do before the party. I'll see you guys later."

"I think you are missing the point to this conversation. When you're a part is when even worse shit seems to happen. The last time it almost did you both in by trying to stay away from each other. You have until tomorrow to work it out on your own together or Gemma and I will work it out for you."

A kiss on the cheek to Nero and Kyle before I left. I had get home and get everything done before tonight for their party. Only when I got home, it was going to be hard to avoid a fight with Jax.

"I get it. You are pissed off about your bike. Well, I am pissed off about everything you told Collette. Yeah, I know I am weak minded, naïve and not exactly hot to the opposite sex. But do you really want to know what pisses me off more than anything? What you told her, hurt our family. The one goddamn thing you are supposed to protect. So, I need to get ready for the party. You can take the cost of a new bike out of my share of the Lodge money I will never see because it all went to the club."

What I said was enough to shut him up for at least the moment. It was true; when I stood strong with Jax. It was when I had the most control. There wouldn't be any more weak little Tara for him to see. I was going to be the strongest old lady. A king was nothing without his queen and vice versa. Until he seen it, there was nothing I could do to help him.

Once I got dressed in my new red boots, jeans and blouse. I did my hair and put some makeup on. I went to say goodbye to the kids. I got them new videos for tonight to entertain them and left pizza money with Nitta.

Of course the guys discussed my changing the old lady rules and they didn't think it was fair of me because Jax brought it up too. He picked up now to discuss it when I had to leave. "Why not? Because you can't legally get your dick sucked off without feeling guilty?" Jax wouldn't answer me.

"I'll take your silence as you probably still let those bitches blow you once in a while. You like to have women you've never had, Jax. It makes you feel like a king because you conquered another woman. Like another notch on your leather you can claim stardom on. It's the power of it I think you love more than sex itself. Now, normally I would be fucking livid with you and screaming, having a pissed off hissy fit. But here is the thing you conveniently forgot to mention to me. According to the outlaw rule; I can give and receive oral sex as well without it considered to be cheating either. You wanted a strong old lady. Well, now baby, you got one. There is a new set of the old rules coming on because now I am the new damn queen."

"You wouldn't do that shit anyway. There is no way in hell it will ever change either and it doesn't matter what you say. I don't know what you're so upset about. You knew all of this when we got together."

"Yeah, I get it, Jax. You're not the only one who lacks shit at home. I am going to Gemma's house to get things ready for the party because I made a commitment to do it and I try to keep my word. I am also going to ignore what you just said to me because as the queen. I don't give a shit what the king thinks about it. No more than you care what I think or want. So, I will expect you there around seven with your best party face on to tell Gemma goodbye. I love you."

At this damn moment Jax thought he was going to confuse me, shame me, intimidate me or shake me up. He was sadly mistaken. The invisible line had been drawn in the sand. It was time for him to accept what was in front of him too and deal with it the same way I had to.

It was a good thing Gemma was token when I got there. I grabbed it from her hand and she didn't even know what to think about it either. But she didn't ask for it back so I finished the bitch off.

Hell, Tig and I shared another joint after he came. We turned up the radio while setting the tables up in the garage and driveway. This was Gemma's last night to have them all with her and I wanted to make sure she had a good time.

"Is Jax coming?"

"He better if he knows what is good for him."

"How about a beer, doll?"

"I think I'll just have water. I've had more alcohol than I can handle."

Tig and I had become good friends. I wasn't certain how far he could be trusted where Jax was concerned and where his loyalty fell. But for now, he and I were cool with each other. I enjoyed his company and we talked about a lot of stuff he didn't feel comfortable doing with the guys.

"You're rocking those red boots, doll."

"Thanks, Tig. Do you want to go with me to pick up the food?"

"Sure."

We went to the store and picked up all the trays I ordered. I did; small sandwiches, vegetables, fruits, cookies, brownies and a huge cake with we will miss you on it. Down the chip isle we went and Tig grabbed several bags of those. Once I got plates, napkins and cups. We were set to check out.

Tig had been a big help loading everything up in the car. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure doll what?"

"This morning you seemed very comfortable around Kyle. Almost too comfortable."

"We're good. He and I worked our shit out when he did the club a favor."

"What favor did Kyle do for the club?"

"I thought he told you."

"No, he didn't. What happened between him and Jax while I was locked up?"

"I don't know all the details. You should probably ask Kyle or Jax that question."

There was the same damn type of answer they all gave me. I put it aside for now. I had to turn my focus on Gemma and Nero for the evening.

We set up the food table, iced down the drink and set the bottles of various alcohol around. I was sure none of it would go to waste either.

"Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome, doll. Seriously loving them boots."

"Me too, sweetheart." There was the woman of the hour. Gemma didn't look to bad considering the kind of night out we had. But I noticed she was drinking ice tea instead of alcohol tonight.

"Thanks for doing this for us, mama."

"You're welcome, Nero. You know I love you guys. But, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure."

"Tig told me Kyle did a favor for the club. What was it?"

"A favor of love. Kyle did it for you and me. I don't know exactly what is going on between the two of you. But I know it's more than either one of you will say. I should get back to Gemma and talk to the guest coming in." Nero gave me a kiss on the cheek before he left.

Jax and other club members had already arrived. Even some of the other charter members came to Charming to see Gemma off. She was a legendary outlaw woman in her own rights.

"I love you." I set down a cold beer in front of Jax and gave him a quick kiss. It was a peace offering of sorts. I didn't want to fight with him. But I didn't want to be too much of a push over either.

They all seemed to be enjoying themselves. Gemma and Jax still hadn't made up over his bike yet as they kept their distance from each other. Hell, I wasn't sure he and I had either really. But as the hostesses of this party. I did my job of making sure the food tables and drinks were stocked at all times. I made my rounds of trying to visit with everyone too.

"How about that dance, doll?"

"Okay, Tig."

People were strung out everywhere; at the tables, inside the house, sitting on the steps and in the back. In the back yard there were other couples dancing together. They had a party going on all of their own. Dancing with Tig was a lot different than dancing with Kyle. Tig didn't move much and held me with about a foot in between us. But it was still fun.

"I haven't danced like this with a woman in years. Thank you, Tara."

"It was fun. I appreciate all your help tonight too."

We no more than rounded the corner to go back to the front. Tig grabbed a beer and I got a bottled water. When Jax met us both. "Tig, you pulled warehouse duty tonight."

"Come on man, get a prospect to do it. I wanna hang out so I can say goodbye to Gemma."

"You heard me." Jax lit up a smoke and dared Tig to challenge him on it. Which we all know, Tig didn't. Jax's word was their outlaw code to follow. It might take me a little longer to get them to respect mine as well. But hell, I'd get there eventually.

"Duty calls. I'll come by sometime tomorrow to see you." Tig set his beer down and kissed Gemma goodbye. "See ya, doll." He gave me a fair well when he went to his bike.

"Bye, Tig."

It irritated me to no end what he did. "Was that really necessary Jax? To punish Tig for dance with me."

"Why do you care what I do to Tig? Are you sweet on him too?"

"You are unfucking believable. So, am I doing Tig now? Do you even hear yourself, Jax?"

Jax was staring around me. Not paying attention to one single word I spoke to him. When I turned around to see what had captivated his attention, I seen why Jax was pissed off. They did the stare down as Kyle went up the front steps.

Gemma and Nero had invited Kyle to the party. She probably asked me fifty times last night if I had seen him and why he didn't come around her anymore. She took it personally. I was actually surprised he came. It was hard for him to be around Gemma since he found out the truth about John.

Kyle was talking to her and I could tell it was breaking his heart when Gemma hugged him tightly. He truly missed her and Nero being a part of his life. I didn't intrude on their moment. Nor look his way again so there wouldn't be any problems with Jax.

Only of course, there still had to be one. I went to clean up the empties on the tables. I tried to keep the trash picked up so it wouldn't take so long once everyone was gone.

Jax came up behind me and gave me a hug with his arms wrapped around my waist. As I welcomed his embrace, I seen the only reason he did it. I let out a long sigh at his immaturity. He had been here for a couple of hours and not once had he given me the time of day. Not one ounce of affection. He only wanted to prove a point to Kyle of who I belonged too.

"I love you, Jax. When you want to touch me because I am your wife and it's what you feel. I'm here, baby. You should love me the way you used to instead of the way you think you have to. But I will not be the toy you take down from the shelf only when you want to and let you ignore me the rest of the time."

It was the first time I could remember; he didn't woo me with his touch or sexy smile. It was the first time; he knew what it felt like to not be so accepted from his wife. Like I've felt before.

Gemma pushed my hair back from my shoulder and gave me a hug. "You'll be just fine, sweetheart. After I'm gone. Jackson needs to remember who his queen is and do the things it takes to make you happy. I agree, it was a dick move to show Kyle. Jax is in control of you. You just remember, only you are in control of you. No one will ever make you happy until you bring some happiness into your life on your own. I love you, Tara, like my daughter. So, stand strong with my son and you will make it." With a kiss on the cheek she went to visit with her other guest.

It took Tig being the picture for me to see it the way it was. Jax was just as controlling when it came to him as he was with Kyle. It wouldn't matter who it was around me. It could be a midget riding a purple unicorn and I would have been doing him too. My full attention was supposed to go to Jax only. While his could be turned on and off with me. According to his day and whatever women he deemed fit to have it at the moment. Well, no damn more of it was acceptable to me.

It was early in the morning when the last bike pulled away from Gemma's house. One more time they came here to see their queen before she rode off in to the sunset with her gangster man.

Clean up was half way done when Gemma and Nero joined me outside. I was down to washing the tables off. Then putting them a way and the chairs.

"I haven't heard this song in years. John and I used to sing it to each other all the time." I went over turned it up for Gemma. She and I sang it for her neighbors in the early morning hours.

"I didn't think about my lady; I know that sounds kinda mean. But me and my old lady had fallen into the same old dull routine. If you like Piña Coladas, getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain. If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape. I'm the love that you've looked for write to me and escape." Hell I was even dancing around to it now. My boots were just made for dancing I say.

Gemma popped me on the butt with the kitchen towel she was wiping the tables down with. "This new found carefree attitude you got and happiness. Comes from being around Kyle again, I am assuming."

"Maybe, I found my happy place, Gemma. Just dance with me woman." I snapped her butt back with my kitchen towel. While we danced around singing the rest of our song through cleaning up the mess. Before we knew it. Even Nero was a part of the fun with us.

"I am going to miss you guys so much."

"We're going to miss you too, sweetheart."

With only a few hours of sleep the next morning. I got all the kids packed up and ready to go. Only I got a lot of resistance from Ellie. Even when Mary came to pick them up.

"I don't want to go."

"Ellie, your grandma planned a trip for you and Kenny. It's only for a few days. I'll be here when you get back, I promise." I handed her my burner cell phone after I programmed my cell number in it. "Call me every day and tell me about your trip."

"Okay. Can I call Kyle while I'm gone too?"

"Yes, you can."

She wasn't exactly thrilled but went along with it finally. I waved goodbye to them and really hoped they had a good time with their grandma.

"Come on, baby. It's time to go see your grandma and grandpa."

Abel ran down the list of stuff on the way he was going to do with Gemma and Nero. This would be the last time he and Thomas got to spend time with them before they left here.

Nero could hardly wait to hold Thomas because he met us at the door to take him. Abel took grandpa's hand to go watch his video after I gave him a kiss goodbye. "I love you babies. Mommy will be back tomorrow to pick you up."

"Tara." Gemma followed me out to the car and handed me a little box.

"You bought me a present? Shouldn't it be the other way around since you're the one leaving?" Once I got the little white box open, I didn't know what to say. "Seriously?"

"Think of it as a belated birthday present. Or a free pass, for tonight only. You won't get another one, Tara. You should use it wisely."

"I don't see getting one this time either from Jax."

"I am talking to you as a woman now. Not as Jackson's mother, but as yours should. Go out and just be Tara for once. Get completely lost until you find yourself. Bring some happiness in your life before I leave so you will survive it all after I'm gone. Be the woman you want to be. He has the other one, I'm sure he'll find his way there sometime tonight. It might be your last chance to ever feel the way you do again. This is one piece of motherly advice you should listen to, sweetheart."

"Gemma…" She went in the house while I was still talking to her. "I don't even know why I bother." I tossed the box in the seat and headed for home. This was once I would not listen to her fucked up advice. It had gotten me in enough trouble lately.

Only what I planned to be a quiet night at home with my husband wasn't going to turn out to be that way at all. He was packing up his back pack when I went inside. He had plans of his own he hadn't shared with me yet no doubt.

"Going somewhere?"

"There's an independent club in trouble. They have assets we can use. We are patching them in tonight as Sons."

"So, it's a patch over party?"

"Tara, we've been over this shit. I have to be there."

"No, you don't, Jax. Just for once, stay home with me because you want to. Let the rest of them handle club business."

Jax's cell was going off. Before he could flip it open to answer it. I took it out of his hand. "The clock is ticking. You need to decide what you want the most; your family or your club. Because you need to understand from here forward, you determine as well how this relationship goes down from now on too." I gave him back his phone and waited to see what he did.

"Yeah. I'm on my way."

"Then so be it, Jax. You just made your decision and mine."

We made our way to the front door to say our goodbyes. "You go and have fun tonight, baby. Because when you get home tomorrow. There is gonna a whole brand new set of rules for the king to follow or else." I gave him a long and lingering kiss.

"What did you say, Tara?"

"I said, I love you, Jax." As I went down the hallway to go take a shower. I turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. "Have a great time, baby. Because it ain't going to be no damn fun tomorrow when you get home."

"Damn you, Gemma. You already knew where Jax was going tonight." I cursed her with several different rants while I soaped up my body and washed my hair.

I hope you enjoyed reading me!

Forward on my lovelies to Chapter 22, Part 5 it has already been posted for you.

BTW… Clay really does have a spider web tattoo on his elbow in the show. The web is on Jackson's forearm at the bottom of John's tombstone.

LET ME KNOW YOU ARE STILL WITH ME MY LOVELIES!