I

"You okay?" Sirius smiled carefully at the guy observing the sunset with those solemn golden eyes of his.

"I'll be fine." Remus shrugged, not really surprised he had been found at the Astronomy tower, as this was after all one of his most frequent hiding places, which made it not so hard to figure out.

"I know you will, but are you okay now?" Sirius frowned sitting down next to his werewolf friend and letting himself take a moment to admire the profile- Remus' skin was almost glowing under the gentle touch of disappearing sunlight.

It was the middle of the winter and the ground was ice cold, but Sirius didn't mind much.

"I've been better." Remus muttered truthfully and turned to meet the grey stare.

The boys shared a moment filled with calming joy of friendship, heaviness of their deepest fears and everything in between.

Remus was the first to turn away.

He felt his racing heart beat slowly make its way onto his insecurities list and that was the last thing he needed at the moment. Or maybe he needed it the most, but simply was not ready to admit it just yet. He heard Sirius' voice full of concern.

"What is it?"

"I was just thinking of what it's going to be like after we're out of here."

"Nothing changes." Sirius grunted assuring, but the lycanthrope felt it was the both of them he was trying to convince.

"It will. James will probably get the girl. Peter will find himself a nice little apartment next to a candy store… you will find someone to keep you in check eventually and settle down with him somewhere far away from your family, far away from here- " far away from me. Remus' heart thumped painfully at the thought and he had to fight the nausea, which hit him all of the sudden, "And I- I will still be stuck in this constant state. I won't have a job. I will be all alone. I wouldn't dream of condemning someone to be stuck like that with me and I doubt anyone would even want to."

The sun seemed to be going down much faster than natural at that moment. As if mocking Remus, by emphasizing his speech. His bondage to the night.

"You're wrong. I would never give up our friendship. Not for anything. You're stuck with my annoying self for as long as we're alive."Sirius muttered quietly.

"Am I?"

"As long as you want me here, Remus, I'm not leaving."

"Hm. I guess I am then."

II

One more time Remus opened his eyes and saw the dirty floor of Shrieking Shack. His body was shattered yet again and he felt the cold biting at his every single cell. Fighting the urge to shiver he tried to lie as calmly as he could manage, as he realized he didn't just wake up, he was woken up by angry voices.

"How many times do I have to say that I'm sorry, Sirius?" James said clearly trying to contain his anger.

The guys were standing about a meter away from each other and clutching their wands in their hands. At least they weren't raised yet.

"Yeah, James, because that's how it works- I almost killed him…eh, sorry." Sirius roared.

"When what do you want to hear- "

"Nothing! Just don't talk to me at all!"

"I don't get it! He forgave me, why can't you?!"

"Because you know how he is! He would keep smiling calmly even if you were to take his favorite pony and chop its head off!" Sirius rolled his eyes exasperatedly.

"A pony?" James asked raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, you know what I mean!"

"I don't get what you want me to do!"

"Because there's nothing you can do!"

"Oh great, one mistake and that's it?!"

"YOUR MISTAKE COULD'VE COST HIM HIS LIFE!"

"I was trying to help!"

"Oh yeah, sorry, James, that makes it so much better!"

"Well somebody had to do something! Since you were –"

"It is none of your bloody business!" Sirius shouted turning bright red.

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing, you fucked up and that's it!"

"So what now?!"

"Nothing, I don't even want to talk to you anymore!"

"Yeah, well as last night has proven that is clearly the answer!" James yelled, his green eyes flashing with fury.

What happened last night? Remus tried to remember.

"I told you shouldn't have come!" Sirius forced out through gritted teeth.

"And you shouldn't have tried to play prince charming coming to the rescue!"James fought back.

"Don't you dare-"

"Oh?! Did I hit a soft spot?! Aren't you being a hypocrite considering-"

"Guys, what happened last night?" Remus asked sitting up.

James and Sirius jumped apart and looked at Remus guiltily as if they've just been caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.

"Nothing." They said together and the werewolf felt the unease creeping up his spine at their shifty eyes.

"Peter?"

"Oh they almost screwed up last night. Some third years had wondered into the woods and … you… got too close, so James tried to distract you… and then Sirius tried to distract you too, because he didn't trust a giant stag to be a good enough distraction and wanted to be the savior of the day." Peter said monotonously, throwing an evil look at Sirius at the end. "So, all in all, you almost stumbled upon the stupid third years, which would have probably resulted in you shredding them to pieces, because you were exceptionally… active this time." Peter shrugged as if he was talking about their Divination assignment.

Remus felt blood drain from his face.

"What?" He muttered weakly and his eyes darted between the three of his friends.

Sirius and James glared at Peter angrily, but upon meeting Remus' eyes their expressions turned apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Moony, we just-" James started, but fell silent when the lycanthrope jumped on his feet and frowned disapprovingly.

"You just what?" Remus uttered dangerously calm and raised an eyebrow.

Sirius turned his head to the ground, yet again feeling like a little kid in front of Remus.

"What if I had bit one of those kids?" Remus' tone had begun to rise, but he managed to keep it under control with much effort, "Do you even-" He said but his voice faltered and broke pathetically, suddenly turning hoarse. "Do you have the slightest idea what kind of life this is?"

"Remus, we didn't mean to-" Sirius begged.

"Yeah, I know you didn't, but just so you know if it would have actually gone wrong, we would be having a much different conversation." The lycanthrope shut him up. "You two are… Why are you even doing this to each other, you're best friends. And since I care about both of you, it is just… let's just say if I had a favorite pony, you two would be chopping his head off." He allowed himself a small smile.

Peter chuckled and suddenly James and Sirius' glares were directed at him.

"Don't you glare at Peter, he's so far the most reasonable one here." Remus scolded and Peter stuck his tongue out at the guys proving the werewolf wrong. "So you're going to stay here and not come back until you are back to normal."

James and Sirius threw each other uncomfortable looks.

"I am not talking to him." Sirius pouted.

"Then I am not talking to you." Remus answered coldly.

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do?" Sirius blurted out without thinking. "Create a loser club with your little Slytherin boyfriend?"

Remus' jaw dropped.

He breathed in sharply and tried to gather himself enough to answer.

"I will." Was all he said before snatching his shirt from the ground and storming out with Peter trailing closely behind him.

"What about Pomfrey?" The boy asked.

"I'll meet her in the castle. I'll think of something." Remus answered emotionlessly.

And Peter cringed at his expression.

III

James gawked at the wall in front of him trying to take in Sirius' words. Once he did, his fist found his own way to the guy's jaw.

Sirius straightened up after being hit, but didn't say anything just stared wide-eyed at the Potter boy.

The silence fell heavy upon them as both boys couldn't find the right words to express themselves.

"Ouch." Sirius concluded finally.

"You fucking deserved it, you idiot." James said and felt anger take over him just now. Previous action had almost been a natural reaction and now- now he felt adrenaline flood his veins urging him to fling himself at the guy in front of him again.

"I-" Sirius whispered, not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

"Get your head out of your jealous ass and go after him."James mumbled angrily.

"He… he won't listen." Sirius stumbled on his feet and after hitting a wall with his back, slid down to the ground.

"Of course, he will, he likes you, didn't we establish that yesterday?" James groaned.

"He- it's not possible, he likes Snivellus." Sirius shook violently, feeling the weight of his own words – all of his own words- come over him in a wave of pain.

"No he doesn't, how did you even come up with that?" James rolled his eyes impatiently.

"He… I saw them."

"What exactly did you see?" James asked, knowing full well that his friend tended to overreact sometimes. He knew that Snape and Remus were not a possibility and had never been- anyone with even a drop of common sense could see it.

"I saw them coming out of a broom closet together."

James rolled his eyes.

"They were probably testing what angle they have to tilt their wands for the spells to work the best in the dark. You know them, why would you jump to conclusions like that."

Sirius raised his hand to his face to cover his eyes, which were stinging really badly, though he didn't know why.

After a couple of moments James gave up. He sneered at the guy disdainfully.

"You know what? I never thought that you could sacrifice your friendship with Remus this easily. If a little jealousy wins over years' worth of companionship and admiration, then I am glad about what you said earlier- I don't want you to talk to me either."

And so Sirius was left alone.

And the words 'I would never give up our friendship. Not for anything'. Seemed to be mocking him right now.