Chapter 21

Katie weighed up pros and cons. A few months ago and she'd never even consider it, but she had finally understood. It wasn't fair. She probably wouldn't be able to tolerate Clara for a few months but maybe she'd grow on her with time. And if she gave her a second chance, who knows what would happen?

As she stared at her father watching TV she decided he deserved it. Such a rapid change of heart, she knew, but after losing Jake it had given light of a whole new perspective. She couldn't just keep them apart forever, especially as there was John and Clara's child to keep account of. She laughed as she reminisced on how ignorant she had been, thinking she could just stop them from doing everything they wanted.

Her dad was better, admittedly, after she had shaken him up a bit and made him see sense, although it didn't stop him from missing her. She saw it sometimes, just a flash of pain caught in his eyes, trapped inside his pupils. Katie knew that if she brought them back together his eyes would sparkle again and his mood might change. All she wanted was to see him happy again, after a few weeks he had put on an act but she knew he would never truly be the same with anyone or anything than when we was with Clara. She wondered what his reaction would be when she told him. She smiled momentarily at the thought of his face instantly lighting up.

Katie ran upstairs, opened her messages and clicked on Clara's name. She had given her phone number to her a long time ago but she had never really used it, only at times to annoy her. She was surprised she'd even kept it on there. Regardless, she opened the chat, taking a breath before she wrote. She didn't quite know what to say and how to say it, but she was sure Clara would get a surprise at her sudden correspondence. Finally she settled on something and sent it before she could really think about what she was doing:

I know it might be weird getting a message from me, of all people, but you should know that dad is still really heartbroken for you and I don't think it will ever change. If you'll just consider talking to him or something it would make him feel a lot better. It would make me feel a lot better too.

It was a little painful to do but she was willing to put a few, miniature differences aside for her father's sake. She even felt proud for sending it even though she was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole idea. It might take hours or days or just minutes for an answer. She might never reply. For the first time mixed emotions were felt on that, and not only on personal opinion. She remembered the camping trip, the day they went swimming and she had admired her a lot more within the hour. It was a bit like that now but instead of admiring she was hoping. Hoping she'd reply back.

Katie was genuinely shocked when a message came through only four minutes after she'd sent it, which gave her the impression that Clara was feeling the same way:

I've been thinking about it since the day I left and I miss him a lot too. I'm just confused about why you care so suddenly. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just unexpected. I think I do need to talk to him one way or another because I have something to tell him he would want to know.

All in all, it was mostly what she had expected from Clara, although she pondered on what it was she wanted to tell him. She knew that to make up her mind she would just have to tell her what to do:

Thursday I'll send him round. Where are you staying?

She knew what Clara would be thinking, conflicted still and maybe a bit annoyed. Yet she soon replied:

My friend, Nina's house. I'll give you the address.

Katie once again felt triumphant. Part of her couldn't believe she was really going to make this happen, going to give them a chance and even let her back in the house. She wondered if something had gotten to her, the drastically changing weather or just sudden kindness and understanding. And for some reason, she couldn't wait to please her dad with the news.

••••

He was nervous. He was extremely nervous. After Katie had told him what she done his first reaction was one of shock, and then gradually joy at the prospect, and now so very shaken up. He knew this was important not to mess up, to say the wrong things or she might never see him again for real this time. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking as he splashed water ok his face, waking himself up a bit more. It had only been a two day wait and yet the anticipation had twisted him, keeping him awake all night. Just the sight of Clara's face again would be enough to send chills down his spine. He was unprepared but hoping things would get better, hoping she really would come back. He dressed in his usual fashion but smartened himself up just a bit to give a good impression. It was almost like he was going on their first date again, one memorable to say the least. He smiled fondly at the memory, trying to dispel the endless knots in his stomach. What he couldn't believe and was slightly annoyed about was the fact that she had replied instantly to Katie, but hadn't answered to him, even when he'd called and texted and left voicemails nearly every day. He guessed getting a message from Katie had been quite a surprise.

He smiled at her gratefully when he ultimately left and drove to the address Katie had given him, hands trembling on the steering wheel, trying not to think about every day for the last four months unable to see her face. He paused at the door, taking a breath before knocking, to which a woman who he suspected was Nina opened it. He smiled awkwardly until he saw Clara and walked in without any thought, embracing her tightly to which she responded to, face nuzzled into his shoulder. His eyes were shut, his iron grip never wanting to let go but finally he stared at her face, realising just how much he missed it, how beautiful she was. Staring into her eyes softly he kissed her longingly, hand cupping her cheek and Clara thankfully yielding to what must have been at least seven minutes of standing there without saying a word, kissing wildly like they were making up for all the missed ones.

'I'll leave you two alone, then.' Nina called, departing quickly from the room but John hardly heard her. When his lips parted from hers he could only think of how hungry he was for his lips on hers again, to fall back upon the sofa and let himself unravel under her touch.

Her head was hung, balanced on his chest and his arms closed around her frame.

'So much for talking.' She said, finally looking into his eyes.

'I've missed you.' He said instead, gazing with an intensity that made Clara's breath escape.

'I'm glad you're here,' She said assuringly, 'and I needed to tell you that...uhm, you're having a daughter.'

His face broke out in delight and his smile widened, his mouth stuttering like he wanted to say something but unable to. Instead he hugged her again, overwhelmed by emotions that couldn't be described. Clara couldn't help but smile along with him. His hands drifted down, lightly caressing her stomach and leaning down to kiss it before seeing a sad smile splay on her face.

'I'm sorry I didn't call you. You had a right to know as soon as I found out but I just couldn't call you, couldn't hear your voice because I knew I'd come running back and I needed a bit of time.'

'That's why you called.' He whispered, searching her face, 'have you had enough time?'

She didn't answer but took hold of his hands and tugged him gently to the couch. As she did, however, he saw the glint of shiny metal still unbelievably on her finger.

'You kept your ring on.'

'Of course I did.'

'I thought you'd ended it all the minute you walked out.'

'Never.'

He was too relieved to question it. He well and truly thought it was all over, and hearing that was the best feeling in the world.

'Will you come back? Sleeping without you was hell.'

Clara knew she really needed to actually talk to him, but that could wait. Right now all she wanted was him, to say yes and get on with their life. She had spent too many days without him. Clara made this decision all in the split second of looking into his glimmering green eyes and nodded at him. He closed his eyes in utter joy as that same thrilling grin spread upon his face, the one she loved so dearly. And without a seconds hesitation she kissed him again, her hands round his neck as he kissed back harder and she knew that it had all been a mistake on her part, all a stupid, pointless mistake that she hoped she could make up for in time. There was nothing in the world she loved more than his fingers rucking up her hair or the traces of kisses he left on her jawline all the way down her neck. His hands caressed everywhere they could reach, his mouth fusing to hers like a magnet and their bodies became entwined in the same moment. Lips soft and eyelids closed, he shrugged off his jacket. When his tongue had collided with here her breath was shortened and her grip on his chest tightened. She could feel how pleased, how calmed he was now under her touch, the way she brushed his cheek lightly, and ever so slightly bite down on his lip, and slowly he began to lean forward, lowering her down so her head hit the cushions and she was saying his name like a prayer, so grateful she had him back, noticing just how much she had missed his touch and their bodies together. She swept his braces down his shoulders and brought him closer to her.

'Never leave me again.' He whispered into her ear, to which she gave an immediate reply.

'I wouldn't dream of it.'

They didn't notice Nina walking in, staring at John just visible beyond the sofa and raised her eyebrows.

'Oi! Not on my couch.'

They sat up immediately, Clara looking flustered and John pulling up his braces as he stared in alarm.

'I knew this whole 'talking' thing was a cop out,' she said, laughing as she saw their faces.

'If you want to have sex go back home and do it, not on my sofa.'

John and Clara blushed equally, while Nina only giggled harder, shaking her head mockingly at them.

'I guess you're going back, then?' She smiled coyly.

Clara looked to John, uttering a yes.

'I'll get my things.' She laughed, walking off to her bedroom.

He felt elated that she was back with him, that he was having another daughter. He promised to himself he would make up for all the time shopping for baby clothes, equipment, listening to her tiny heart and feet kicking. As she walked back in with a bundle of things in her arms he stared at the small bump and smiled radiantly. Clara herself looked flushed with contentment. When everything was loaded back in the boot and she had given her thanks and farewells to Nina, they sat in the car and just before he revved up, he leaned over to kiss her again tenderly and his eyes shone brightly at her, the space beside him no longer empty as he grinned at her vivacious smile.

'It's like I'm taking you back home for the first time again.'

'I'm happy to start over.'

He grinned while her hand enfolded his, and he drove all the way back home with a gleam in his eyes.