Heart of Stone

Inanimate

I admire one thing in life. The power of love. Someone told me once that love is just love, but I think love is life. That is why I am not completely alive.

My mind is filled with everything and nothing at the same time as I stare into space. But a sudden gold flash catches my eye and sends my heart into my toes. I told you how beautiful she was, didn't I? Cindy is undoubtedly the prettiest girl in school. She holds the hearts of many students and the envy of every breathing thing, not to mention the blue-eyed boy's ability to live. She is the luckiest girl in the world and she doesn't even know it.

"Hey, girl," she sings to Libby, flashing her lovely smile. "What's up?" She asks as she sits beside her best friend. They engross in a girly conversation, but I block out their voices as best I can and return my eyes to the food in front of me. My stomach is empty and groaning for food, but I just don't feel like swallowing anything. So, with nothing to occupy my attention, another rush of pain hits my head. I don't know why I have these migraines all the time, but I really want them to stop.

I tilt my head and massage the one side of my forehead to attempt to soothe the pain. When my eyes venture up, I meet the concerned expression of the boy next to me. He doesn't have to speak for me to know what he is asking. 'Are you okay?' I nod in reply, but that doesn't seem to be enough for him. He gently curls his hand around my free one resting on the seat between us. I peer from under my bangs to see his smiling face, yet that's not all that greets me.

"What's wrong?" the blond across from me sneers, her tone cold and ruthless. "Does the poor thing have a headache?" she coos in mock concern. I can feel the color drain from my face and her smirk stab my nerves. I wish I could say she has no effect on me.

Devil in disguise, please let me go

My soul is not worth the trouble

I watch helplessly as she snickers in triumph at my frightened expression. Sheen joins in her laughter, but I'm sure he doesn't know what he's laughing at, yet it still bothers me immensely. Carl gives her his best nasty glare, but of course it doesn't affect her. And Libby, she is watching, a mixed expression of pity and sadness on her face. I tuck my eyes back under the shadow of my hair, but a certain someone catches my attention.

He sits directly across from me, placing his tray on the table. I look up to see his happy grin and sparkling blue eyes. My heart skips a beat when his gaze grabs mine for a split second, but he turns his attention to the girl next to him. She gives him a flirtatious smile. He replies with a soft kiss on her cheek and my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach.

"Hey, babe," she says so sensuously and he wraps his arm over her shoulders. I could swear she gives me a smug smile before she takes a sip of her drink. I just want to release the horrible feeling inside of me right now and run out, run away from everything. But a simple squeeze on my hand makes me rethink any prior thoughts. Yet nothing can halt the painful blows with each word flowing from the person across from me, holding the girl beside him close.

It's hard to swallow when you are near

You pulled me in and I don't know how to get out

I can't describe the amount of heartbreak rushing through me as I watch the loving couples. I can't begin to calculate how many hours I have sat here, tears threatening to fall. I have said it before and I will say it again. I can't take much more of this...

What you have done to me is tearing me apart

I hear their voices, and I see their happy faces even though I would rather not. They speak and I watch blankly as their lips move. I can barely feel any eyes on me and I feel a strange rush of ease. At least it's better than the attention I had a few minutes ago. But Carl doesn't even seem to remember that I am here and I can't explain the pang of despair. Now, I feel like a doll, forgotten and thrown in the corner.

Giggles, witty comments, and blinding smiles pass between them. At least most of them. I can't help but notice that Libby's smile seems somewhat forced. But why? She is encircled by people who love her. Libby's soft brown eyes capture mine for a moment. Sudden sorrow washes over her face and she turns her back to me, reaching for her bag at her feet.

All the eyes at the table are on her by the time she straightens herself upright again. I can't really tell if her hands are shaking slightly, but I know I am shaking when my eyes rest on the object in her hand. My pulse begins to quicken and I pray that the conversation I'm anticipating doesn't occur.

Confusion crosses their faces. "What is that, Libby?" Cindy asks and Jimmy nods in agreement, her beating him to the obvious question running through their heads. I gulp down the lump in my throat, already beginning to feel the sweat forming along my brow. Ignoring her friend's question, her gaze meets mine and she extends the object over the table, out toward me. My eyes are fixed on the object in her hand, but I can't miss the rising of Carl's eyebrow and his eyes finding my face.

"Rose," Carl utters my name questionably, but his voice creates no reaction as my eyes remain glued on the familiar notebook. His hand lands on my shoulder, gently grasping the fabric of my grey sweatshirt. Ever slowly, my eyes reach up and lock with Libby's. Everyone else seems to fall into a blurry mess as her eyes silently speak to the battered yet still solid heart inside me.

I don't know what is going on, but some kind of invisible drive forces me to reach out for it. All eyes are on me as my fingers grasp the notebook, hiding the sketch of a thousand inquiries. But for the first time in my life I can't feel their interrogating eyes, my senses blocked by a potent power...

mysteryjcgrl

A/N: I'm not sure when I'm gonna update. Hopefully soon, if anyone is reading. But I know the next chapter will be super long, so maybe a week or two.