So…everything definantly got a little depressing lately… and you know what…there's only two more chapters left, one more after this one. I know it's about three chapters shorter then I said it was going to be, but there were some loose ends I felt I had to tie up which I'm going to do in the last two chapters. The first one will be just Ryan, and the second one will be just Seth. Enjoy!
Chapter 21: Cue the Sun!
"Ryan…?" Ryan covered her head with her blue comforter reflexively as she heard the door creak open and a sliver of light poured through the otherwise pitch black room.
Ryan smiled as she heard the footsteps padding across the carpeted floor and over to her canopied bed. She could feel the weight pull her down as someone crawled into the bed with her. She could feel small hands on her arms.
"Ryan, I know you aren't asleep, you're smiling."
"I'm awake Ann." Ryan said shoving her face into her pillow.
"You still haven't been able to sleep well?" Ann asked snuggling closer to Ryan.
Ryan snorted, "I sleep just fine."
"Nuh uh. You always wake me up when you go down to the computer room at like three in the morning to see if he e-mailed you."
"Who are you talking about?" Ryan asked throwing a pillow at her.
"Him. You know, that boy you were going out with."
Ryan scowled, but Ann couldn't see her in the darkness anyways. Ann was snooping again, and how had she known she wasn't sleeping good? It wasn't like it was her fault…just sleeping without knowing that Jake was nearby, or that it was a couple minutes walk to Seth's…it made her nervous. She should have gotten used to it. Five months was long enough to get used to it.
"Stop snooping Ann," Ryan turned over so that she was on her side, her back facing Ann.
"I wasn't snooping. It's not my fault that you're so loud," Ryan scoffed, but she didn't say anything, "Do you miss them?"
"Why would I miss them, I talk to them all the time, and Alice even came for a visit. Twice," Ryan answered her.
"And Uncle Emmett, you forgot him," Ann had taken to calling Emmett Uncle Emmett, and it got to his head, but yes, he had come down with Alice one of the two times she had visited.
"Yeah, and Uncle Emmett," Ryan laughed, her sister had taken such a liking to the two of them, it was weird. She was like a mini Alice now too, she even got her hair cut into a short bob that Alice taught her how to style. Ryan had to admit though, it was cute.
"You talk to Vivi too. Why don't you talk to Seth?"
Ryan was beginning to become frustrated with her sisters insistent questions about Seth. Sometimes that's all she would do was ask if she had talked to Seth, or if Seth had called, or if she missed Seth. It was the same answer to every question too. No.
Seth had called once, about two months after she had gotten back home, and all they had been able to do was ask how the other was doing, and then Ryan made an excuse, one he knew was a lie so they didn't have to be so awkward with each other. That was the first and last time so far.
"I don't talk to Seth, because talking to Seth is stressful," Ryan sighed, "You have school tomorrow, shouldn't you get some sleep?"
"Shouldn't you?"
Ryan laughed, it was amazing how much Ann acted like her. Though where she had picked up the sarcasm, she didn't know. Oh wait, yes she did. It was Emmett's fault. Ryan sighed and pulled her comforter tighter around her, trying to get some sleep. It was hard when she could feel Ann staring at her though.
"What do you want Ann?" Ryan asked, not meanly, but irritated.
"You liked Seth right?"
Ryan grumbled obscenities under her breath and turned around to look Ann in the eye, "Do you really want to talk about this now?" When Ann nodded, she groaned, "How about when you get home from school tomorrow, okay?"
It was Ann's turn to grumble this time as she turned over, and Ryan swore, she was asleep as soon as she closed her eyes. Ryan sighed and shifted onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling, the ceiling she had stared at before she went to forks. The ceiling she had pasted glow in the dark moons and stars on in the second grade with her mom. It used to hold something for her, now it reminded her of nothing. She got no emotion out of looking at them anymore.
~*~
"Ryan, seriously, stop moping like a little wet kitten, please? It's making me depressed," Nina had her head laid in her hands as she looked across the Chemistry II table at Ryan who was blankly looking ahead and writing notes down.
"Who's moping? I haven't moped once since we've gotten back."
"Yeah, since now," Nina sighed, "Jesus, why don't you just go back?"
"I can't."
Nina glowered, "If it's because of your dad, I'm pretty sure my parents
could say something to make him change his mind."
Ryan stared at Nina incredulously, "I swear your parents work for the mafia or something," she sighed, "It's not my dad. I have to stay here, and graduate from this high school."
Nina looked confused, but she didn't press the subject. Pressing the subject would only remind Ryan of what was making her sad in the first place, only more frequently. Nina sighed turning back to the board to write down the rest of her notes, keeping a steady eye on Ryan for the rest of the class.
And when lunch rolled around, things weren't any better then they had been before. Ryan was still moping, even though she swore up and down she wasn't. Nina was about to go mad, and the rest of Ryan's friends, Milly, Aaron, Jolyene, and Lucas were on the same page as her.
"I really think we should get you to a depression center honey," Jolyene, a southern belle said in her Georgia twang.
"Come on Ry, wearing these uniforms is bad enough, don't put everyone else in a worse mood," Aaron complained as he pointed to the light blue and black tie that all students had to wear, not to mention the crisp white shirts, khaki pants, and black skirts for the girls, the uniform to the private school Ryan attended was depressing. Milly, Aaron's girlfriend nudged him hard with an elbow, and for a second the two of them reminded her of how Quil and Embry bickered about anything at the lunch table, and she let a smile take over her face.
"Ah! There's that smile we all know and love," Lucas said reaching across the table and taking her hand in his, "You'll be fine Ry. Trust me."
"Don't trust him Ryan," Jolyene snickered, "He just wants in those crotchless panties of yours!"
Ryan's expression didn't change, she wasn't even flustered by Jolyene's comment, for some reason, things like that hadn't mattered to her in a while. She wasn't an embarrassed little girl anymore. She was…different. Ryan pulled her hand away from a blushing Lucas and nudged Jolyene with her elbow lightly.
"I only wear those for Aaron," Ryan winked at Milly who sighed and shrugged.
"I've always wanted to try a threesome," she laughed.
Jolyene scrunched up her nose in a disgusted looking face, "Ya'll are disgusting as the bottom of chicken's talons."
The other five teens looked at Jolyene, and were soon laughing like the funniest thing had just happened, "Stop makin' fun of me! Ya'll aren't funny!" Jolyene yelled flustered.
Okay, so maybe life wasn't so terrible.
~*~
"I'm home!" Ryan called out as she stepped into the foyer of her historical district brownstone.
"Ryan?" Laila called from the kitchen, "I'm making biscotti, do you wanna help?"
Ryan smiled, taking off her brown leather loafers, Laila had moved in about three months ago, and it was a lot less hectic around the brownstone ever since, and she knew how to cook too, just like Esme and Emily.
"Yeah, I'm coming." Ryan made her way into the kitchen to see Ann on a bar stool at the raised granite counter doing homework, Laila was working around the island stove top, an apron flittering around her thighs when she moved.
Ryan smiled, as she was again reminded that life didn't suck so bad. She had motherly influence again. Laila was no replacement, but she was a good woman, and she was trying her hardest to get them to like her. Still, she couldn't help but wish that she was in the large white house doing this instead of in their contemporary brownstone.
~*~
Ryan pulled the comforter over her head for what seemed like the fourth time that week already, as Ann came padding into her room around midnight again. A little sliver of light entered Ryan's dark room, and then it was gone as Ann closed the door quietly and made her way over to Ryan's bed, crawled in and snuggled up to her.
Ryan was waiting for the barrage of questions to come flying out of Ann's mouth, after all she had promised her that she would tell her about Seth earlier that day, and she never did. Ann however didn't ask a thing as she snuggled closer to Ryan, her head laying against her shoulder.
"In case you were wondering if I liked Seth or not, I did. I liked him a lot."
Ann giggled, "I know."
Ryan looked at her, "How would you know?"
"I called Uncle Emmett today, and I asked him."
Ryan's mouth hung open as she stared at her little sister in the darkness, she could swear she saw a smirk on Ann's face. Ryan narrowed her eyes then, "What else did you ask uncle Emmett?"
Ann giggled again, "Nothing, I swear that was it."
"What did he tell you exactly?" Ryan asked.
"Well, he told me that you and Seth loved each other, I thought love was a strong word, but Uncle Emmett told me that that was how it was, that the two of you were in love with each other."
Ryan sighed, "Emmett has a big mouth."
"But then I asked him that if you two had loved each other, just like mommy and daddy, then how come you two didn't talk to each other?"
"And what did he tell you?" Ryan asked curious about what love advice Emmett had given her little sister.
"He told me that the two of you couldn't talk to each other. That you two were in to much pain…are you hurting Ryan? Do you hurt like mommy did?"
Ann's question took Ryan by surprise, was she asking if she was physically hurting? She turned over to look at Ann, a gentle smile spreading across her face, "It did hurt at first. A lot, my chest hurt. It felt like someone was sitting on it."
Ann gasped, "My health teacher said that's what a heart attack feels like, did you have a heart attack?!"
Ryan laughed, she may as well have, "No, it was a different kind of pain Ann, maybe you'll understand it when you're older, but I hope you don't. It's not a good feeling," then, just out of curiosity, Ryan asked Ann another question, "What else did Emmett tell you?"
Ann giggled, which made Ryan even more curious, "He told me that boys sucked, and I shouldn't pay attention to them, even if they were pretty, and then there was some yelling in the background about pretty boys."
Ryan sighed, she guessed it must have been Edward, and for the first time in her life, Ryan heard herself saying, "Emmett was right," she turned over in her bed so that she faced the wall, "Boys do suck."
Hahah. Boys don't suck!! Theres one more chapter left, and then you guys have an important decision to make!!! Hahah, don't worry, it means more chapters no matter what you pick, so look forward to the next chapter!!!