Chapter 21

"Vanitas…" Sora's voice was a low whisper as he opened the door to the apartment. It was entirely dark, but he could tell from the light coming in through the cracks of the front door that the place was a complete mess and an absolute disaster. Had Vanitas done this to the place…?

Sora took out his cellphone and unlocked it, holding it up as a flashlight. "V-Vanitas?"
A sharp hiss could be heard from Vanitas's open bedroom door.
"Vanitas!" He shrieked highly, running to his side the best he could. Vanitas was laid on the floor, blankets covering him like a cacoon. "V-Vanitas…"
Yellow eyes could be seen flashing in the darkness, a subtle glow. "Go…" The growl was low and smooth. Not like his normal voice at all. It was something...something…

No, no, he shouldn't fall for it, right? Aqua said…

"Go, go…" It was almost like a soft moan at this point. The roughness that usually accompanied his voice was dissipating. "Just get out and go...go…"
Sora's eyes arched together, his mouth turning into a frown. "G-go where…?"
"Home." The answer, unexpected as it was, shot through his chest. Home? His whole body tightened. His chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself. Home? Where was home?

His eyes, seeming to tremble in their sockets, locked themselves onto the eyes of the man on the floor. Something more familiar gleamed in them the more he looked into them.

Aqua said it was bullshit.

"Sora-" His voice was like a soft pant as he shoved his words out. "Go home. Get out, go home. Just-"

Sora didn't even understand it.
A wave of something crashed onto the shore of his chest. It felt broken. His ribcage felt shattered.

His hand slap across skin, damp and drenched in cold sweat. A loud sound echoed through.
Sora's hand remained up, holding itself in a tight fist now.

A groan-like gasp was audible from Vanitas.

Neither man knew how to react.

"If this is all bullshit, then why do I feel so-" Sora whimpered out, his cheeks growing hot. "Why would you cast me aside like that if you keep trying to tie me up? You wanted to keep me here, you said you-"

Sora felt Vanitas sit up, the yellow glow coming closer to him. He knew that something bad will happen, but he refused to give a damn. Vanitas, despite the fact he was...whatever he was...Vanitas was going to listen to him. At least once.

"If its all bullshit, why do I feel like my whole body is breaking down when you tell me to leave…" His voice cracked, a dam of tears being broken as they spilled out. "I don't even care what you are! I don't even care whatever Aqua said, or whatever stupid shit you lied about! I don't care! Even so, you yank me around and throw me left and right. You love me so tenderly after seeping out this hatred. You hate me, but then, just today you-" He knew his words made no sense and he knew it was coming out so fast Vanitas couldn't hear him. Even if he couldn't Sora didn't care. He wasn't even sure if these words were meant for Vanitas. It felt more like he was finally confronting himself with how he felt. All these things he kept bottled up so he could remain a strong man. His heart was aching. The dam was being let loose, and Vanitas's core shattering words were the initial hit.

"Who are you? Just who are you?" His words were like bullets. "I don't care. I don't care who you are, I just know that I need you. For whatever reason, right when I met you, I felt something so familiar and something so-"
Vanitas moved closer, his breath pushed against Sora's face.

"NO!" Sora screamed, putting his arms up and shoving them against Vanitas's chest.

He moved closer, his strength outweighing Sora's shoving. "NO! NO!"

He started slamming his balled fists against his toned chest, rapidly pounding it, a hollow sound erupting every time he did. "NO! N-"

A sudden firm grip snaked itself around his wrists, and a heavy weight pushed him down onto the floor. He struggled halfheartedly against it, but gave in once the full weight of his captor was on top of him.

Sora's arms now pinned parallel to his head, quivered as he continued to sob. Why wouldn't it stop?

"Sora." The words were soft, even softer than he has heard from Riku. But similar to something else. A kind of softness he remembers from somewhere.

"S-stop playing with me…" It was a desperate cry. One he didn't really understand himself.
Before he could even catch his breath, a soft and firm sensation crashed into his lips with a force he could only describe as warm and so dangerously familiar. Vanitas was...kissing him.

In the dark, the kiss felt different. Vanitas felt different.

His fingers twitched under the sturdy grip of Vanitas's strong and callused hands.

The kiss broke apart, leaving Sora feeling stranded and helpless without it.

Vanitas's lips were hovering above his own, just a centimeter away. He could feel it.

He spoke. And the hot breath was like fire against him. "I knew I shouldn't have left you…"

Left him? Left him where?
"I thought...I could involve myself again with you…" Sorrow was dripping from his lips. "I thought I could be different and look different and I thought I could just...do what needed to be done and not fuck myself over."

Sora could see yellow eyes trembling in the dark. The glow was noticeably fading.

"I thought I could just use you."
The words pained him.

"But the minute I saw you, I fucked myself over." The was a tremor in his husky voice. "I'm pretty sure all the stuff with Mika and Riku was just an excuse to see you again."

"A-again?" Sora finally pushed out. Words barely made their way out of his throat.
He was ignored. "If I wasn't important to you, and you didn't remember everything from back then, then it would have been easy to trade you off and get things back to normal. Back to business, back to job, back to…" He breathed in, sucking the hot air he had expelled back into himself. "...back to heartless."