There is another thing in this chapter. It's called 'Its Okay to Cry'
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Chapter 21
Darry POV
When I came home from work, I found Soda, Steve, and Ponyboy in the bedroom. I also noticed a sandwich on the desk.
"Soda?" I asked, eyeing the sandwich. He looked at it and just said that Pony didn't eat it.
I sighed. Of course I knew that. But, I wasn't about to argue. I was tired out and I wasn't in the mood.
Soda ended up telling me what happened when I was gone. He started with Steve getting there in the morning to where they are now. As soon as Soda said that Ponyboy passed out from not being able to breathe, was when I made up my mind.
It was time. It was time for Ponyboy's suffering to end. He deserved a better life, and I'd rather him be in heaven then suffer from cancer.
A few minutes later, I just left the room. I didn't tell anyone where I was going, but I was going to get Monica. I didn't want Pony to die, but I didn't want him to suffer either.
The Angels said that Pony wouldn't die until he was ready, and I knew that he was ready now. I knew it.
I left the room and just went onto the front porch. This was the hardest thing that I had to do. I looked over at Monica's house. She was home. I just sat down on the front porch. I really didn't want to do this.
After thinking for a few minutes about what I had to do now, I finally got up the courage… And did it. I got up off of the porch, and slowly walked over to Monica's house.
Ponyboy POV
I knew that it was almost my time. I wanted to write a note to my brothers, and I didn't want to do it while they were here, in the room.
"Guys?" I begged Steve and Sodapop. "Can I be alone for a minute?"
Soda looked a bit hurt, but then finally stood up and walked out, with Steve behind him.
"Steve, c-could you g-get me paper and a p-pen? Don't let S-Soda s-s-see it though."
He nodded, and left the room. He came back not too long after with the things that I had asked for.
"Thanks." I smiled up at him, and he smiled back, before leaving the room. I thought about his smile. It didn't look fake.
That was one of the first real smiles that Steve had given me in my fourteen years.
I started writing a long note to Sodapop. Its called 'Its Okay to Cry'
I wrote this note as if I were already dead. As if a note to help Sodapop after I'm gone.
I want you to know that it is okay for you to cry. I want you to know that crying doesn't mean that you're weak. It actually means that you've been strong for so long, carrying what sometimes can feel like the weight of the world on your shoulders, and I want you to know that it is okay. It is safe for you to let go.
If you look at a river, what does it do? It just simply flows.
And just like that you can allow yourself to cry. Become that river. Let your tears wash away all the heaviness, the burdens, the pain... and let it cleanse you. Why would tears be something bad when the element of water is what washes us clean? Why would your tears be a bad thing when they're made up of the same stuff just like the oceans of this planet?
And I know most of you love beaches, and let me tell you. Your tears are just as beautiful. You don't have to keep filling the glass until it overflows. You don't have to keep your tears until one day a tsunami breaks out from your eyes.
You can allow yourself to just gently let go of what's bothering you. To allow yourself to feel everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, is one of the bravest things you can do.
So when you're ready, I hope you find the courage and the strength to simply let go and let the tears flow, and wash you clean.
Give this to Darry, and the gang when you're done.
Your brother, Ponyboy Curtis.
I looked it over and felt satisfied.
I folded it up, and put it in his closet in the way back. I wanted him to find it, but not right away. I wanted to see what he'd do before he found it, but I knew that he'd find it someday.
And with that, I got back into bed and fell asleep.