Chapter 21

Severus and Valerie were soundly asleep in their bed in the master bedroom when the fire at the fireplace went green and the excited voice of Poppy Pomfrey called the Potions Master's name. He was up in a second, but didn't go to the hearth before watching Valerie for signs of distress. Telling her it was all right, he kneeled in front of the fire.

"Severus, my dear, I'm sorry to wake you in the middle of the night, but I had to tell you something', Poppy started excitedly

"If you tell me this is about our research, you're forgiven".

"So I am!", Poppy smiled, "What you told me the other day about thinking how Miss Cooper's curse blocked the sight from perfectly functional eyes like a cloth and all we had to do, as hard as it is proving to be, was to remove that dark magic layer".

"Yes, Poppy, I actually remember saying those words", Severus said impatiently

"Yes, yes, and they remained on my mind so I went researching. I thought maybe there was some technique in Muggle medicine, so I asked Miss Granger if she knew, so she researched as well, and she came to me minutes ago to report about a new technology in Muggle ophthalmology that does exactly that: removes a layer of sick cells from the eye and makes people see better, or in some cases see again! Severus, if Muggles can do that, why can't we?"

"How do they do that?"

"A surgery".

"So they cut".

"Yes. They cut. Do you think we can apply their technique to our purpose?"

Valerie stopped understanding then. She had no idea what they were talking about, mentioning types of potions, spells, cocktails that could work, mixed with the cutting part of Muggle surgery. She decided she didn't want to think about it now. They both sounded excited, but if it all came to nothing, she didn't want to be disappointed; so she turned her back to them and fell back into sleep.

Severus didn't talk about it on the next day, and not for another two weeks. During all those days, Severus spent more time at Hogwarts' laboratories with Poppy, and Valerie tried to get used to being alone for a while. It was not pleasant, she thought, but she had been independent her whole life, and maybe it was time to remind herself how that felt. She ventured around the room touching things, and once a day Georgia led her to the porch outside where she sat breathing to the cold air for as long as she could. She kept thinking of good things as an exercise her therapist had taught her; she thought about being again at the farm, now as an owner, about how her life would change once she started taking better care of it; she thought about being in closer contact with Hermione, the little sister she loved so much and how happy she was with her new boyfriend; and she thought about Severus. A lot about Severus, her boyfriend, the man who had protected and saved her, who was doing everything he could to heal her, who loved her.

Taking a deep breath, Valerie smiled, eyes closed. She had had relationships in her life; she had felt deeply for Edward and had thought herself in love before, not just once, but never in her life, in spite of everything she had been through recently, had she been so sure of something in her life. It was him. Severus was different from any man she had met, and not just physically. He was intense in every gesture, in every feeling, a man truthful with his own values, loyal and brave. Who treated her with the respect and understanding and tenderness she had never experienced before. It was him, and feeling so secure in that conclusion warmed a place in her heart that had been freezing cold for long months now.

Severus came home in time for dinner through the floo in Valerie's bedroom, and found her waiting for him sitting in the bed. He crossed the room with long steps and knelt in front of her. Valerie has heard the sound on the fireplace and waited for him to go to her, smiling.

"Hi, little yankee", Severus said holding and kissing her hands. "I have good news".

"Hi!", she said, feeling suddenly excited, "What is it?"

He rose and sat by her side and started explaining the research he and Poppy had been doing and to what the idea they had to mix muggle and magic techniques could help, and had now, after intensifying the works, found and answer.

"Do you think it's gonna work?"

"I honestly do, but you need to know it will be completely experimental. We believe it will work, but we might be surprised".

"But you think it might work".

"Yes", he said simply.

"Ok, so let's do it".

Severus explained to her how they would proceed. Poppy would perform a delicate surgery in her eyes, such as muggles did, removing her cornea and applying specific spells and potions directly, hoping that would remove the dark magic layer.

"But the problem with it, Valerie", Severus said when she told him she understood the procedure "is that if that doesn't work… There is hardly anything else we can do. If your sight doesn't return—"

"—I'll be blind forever", Valerie completed his sentence.

"Yes".

"Well…", she said and thought for a moment. "There are probably hundreds of thousands of blind people in the world, and they go on with their lives, don't they? If it doesn't work, I'll learn how to live with it. It wouldn't be the worst thing that ever happened to me, right?", she said trying to reassure Severus as much as herself. "It's a chance, and a good one. Better than what I've had in months".

"Yes, you're quite right. We are already prepared to do the procedure anytime you want".

"You mean, like now?", Valerie startled

"Yes, if you wish. It's actually better if you haven't eaten in a few hours".

"All right!", Valerie smiled nervously. "If you're ready, so am I".

"Good", he said and brought her hands to his lips, kissing them quickly. "I'll go tell Poppy and we'll get ready".

"Severus?", she said clutching his hands and stopping him from getting up

"Yes?"

"I just wanna say that…", she looked down, "if it doesn't work, I'll thank you and own you either way—"

"Valerie-"

"—Wait, just hear me out. You've done so much for me, I don't even think you understand how much; and you've been researching a cure for me for all of those months… I have faith it will work and I'll be able to see again, to look at you again – but if it doesn't, I want you to know that it's ok. I'm feeling better now, I can finally believe I might even have a normal life again, and being blind would be just one more scar. I just hope…", she paused and looked up again. "That you don't mind being with someone so scarred and… Blind. Because I can learn how to like with it, but I don't want to relearn how to live without you".

"You won't, love", he said cupping her face with his hands. "Never, ok? If necessary, we will learn together how to live with it. But don't even imagine I'd turn away".

"I don't want to be a burden—"

"—You are not", he said firmly. "You are the woman I love and not a burden in any way. I've found you, Valerie. I've got you".

He saw a tear escape her eyes and run down her cheek to find his hand as she smiled. "Ok", she said reaching for his face and leaning in when she found him, touching her lips to his. "I can't wait to look at you again".

"It will be ok, little yankee", he said into her lips before kissing her and pulling her into his arms

The darkness was still there. Valerie felt dizzy and very sleepy, but could feel something on her face. Slowly he reached up ant touched it; it was a layer of bandages covering her eyes and coming around her head. Her eyes where shut closed inside it, and she felt no difference whatsoever.

"Good morning", she heard Severus voice. "How do you feel?"

"Awake", she said. "How long have I been out?"

"A few hours, it's almost morning now".

"Did you sleep?", she said slowly pushing herself up, and felt his weight when he sat by her side

"I was sleeping until a few minutes ago".

'So… How did it go?", she asked quietly

"As we expected", she said carefully. "Poppy performed the physical part and I caste the spells and administrated the potions. The curse was removed, like a thick layer of a dark dust, and your eyes have been cleaned and purified".

"Ok… Do you think it worked?"

"We will know that in a few moments. You won't have a perfect sight from the first moment; you eyes have to get used to function again, but after a while it will improve. Are you ready to take the bandages off?"

"I am", she said resolutely.

Flicking his wand, Severus turned off the fire and shut the curtains, leaving the room almost dark. He reached behind Valerie and started to undo manually the bandages, round after round, until it was all gone. Valerie kept her eyes closed.

"Don't open then yet. Let's not be harsh on those pretty eyes", he said lightly. "With your eyes closed, I will put a light in front of you; tell me if you see it".

Valerie nodded, unable to say anything with the nervous lump on her throat. Severus went quiet as well, concentrating in now letting Valerie know he was also nervous. He cast a silent, light Lumos and the tip of his wand lit.

"Oh my God!", Valerie cried. "There's a light!"

"You can see it?", Severus said excited, Valerie almost didn't recognize his voice.

"Yes! Right here!", she reached to his wand "It's just the luminosity, but I can sense it".

"Ok, that's good. That is great, actually", Severus said shakily and turned off the light. Now, let's slowly open your eyes. The room in dim, there's very little light, but you'll probably be able to see something".

Bracing herself, Valerie slowly opened her eyelids.

In the first few moments it was like nothing had changed; as if darkness was still looming in front of her eyes. Then, slowly and gradually, Valerie could see different shaped in the dim room, some luminosity on her left side, darker shapes in different spots in front of her; then a clearer form right in front of her. She blinked hard a few times, trying to force her eyes to focus, and started to see him, not just his silhouette now. His face was beginning to appear and now she could see the shadow of his eyes and the shape of his lips.

For the first time in months actually seeing the spot she wanted to touch, Valerie reached up and could see the shadow of her own hand approaching Severus' face.

"Can you see me?", he asked in a whisper

"Yes", she said quietly and smiled. "A little… But I can see you".

They spend a long time there while Severus improved every so slowly the luminosity of the room. Each time Valerie took a long moment to adapt her sight to it, and hours later it came to a point where it would get any better. It was time to rest and leave the light on the room the way it was. Severus asked Georgia to bring them lunch there and Valerie exercised her sight actually seeing her food now. It was already the middle of the afternoon when they were both sitting in the middle of the bed, legs crossed and facing each other. They just shared a silent moment, looking at each other. Sometimes Valerie blinked hard and fast a few times, for her eyes were watering and burning a little, and after doing it lots of times, she focused her eyes on his.

The bedroom was now lit only by the fire cracking on the hearth. Severus noticed the way Valerie looked at him was different now than it had been all day. He said nothing; just held the look and felt his heart tighten on his chest. Her blue eyes were bright and became even shinier when tears welled but didn't shed.

"Severus", she breathed and left his eyes, letting them wonder slowly through his face. She reached for him, touching his shoulder with one hand and sliding down to his chest, and looked up at his eyes again.

Severus placed his hand above hers and pressed against his chest, so she could feel his heart pounding. She smiled as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm for a long moment, closing his eyes. Valerie gasped soundlessly and kept staring awed at him as he slid his kisses up to her wrist, and slowly up her arm until he reached the sleeve of her shirt. He looked up at her then, a question is his eyes, unsure if he could go on or not. Valerie placer her hand in his cheek and lowered her lips to his. Severus let her kiss him, afraid to go further and respond in kind. After a few moments she broke the kiss and looked at him.

"Severus?", she asked. "Do you still find me desirable?"

She spoke quietly and unsure and Severus had to take a moment to understand what she meant. How could she ever question that?

"Still— Valerie… I never stopped finding you desirable. Why are you asking that?"

"I don't know…", she said looking down to where their hands were wrapped together. "After what happened to me…"

"Don't be silly, little yankee", he said gently and with a finger on her chin, made her look at him again. "What happened to you only makes me find you even more admirable, brave and honored".

"Well, that's fine, but… It's been months, and you never even tried— I mean… You didn't demonstrate…", she paused and breathed out, somewhat exasperated. "It feels like you're not attracted to me anymore".

He didn't say anything for a moment, staring at her, disbelieving what he had just heard, and then smiled a little. "Oh, Valerie, you have no idea, do you? Do you want to know if I am attracted to you?", he said pulling her hand towards and down to his lower abdomen. She gasped and looked down at him when her hand found him erect under his trousers. Severus took her hand away from him almost immediately, having made his point. "I've been craving for you all of this time, Valerie, but I would not dare to try anything. You needed time, you need this time, and it will be your decision to let me near you again. So when you want me, I'll be right here".

Valerie stared at him in awe for a few moments, a little frozen in place. Finally, she let out a slow breath and lowered her eyes. Tentatively, she reached for him again, slowly approaching her hand to his trouser. She rested her hand over him, feeling his hardness, but didn't move her hand. Severus remained still, strongly resisting the urge to let his penis twitch under her hand. Still touching him, she looked up at his eyes.

"I can remember how good it is— How good it can be", she started. "Somewhere in my mind, I know that it's not supposed to hurt, that it's not supposed to be like— My last experiences. And more than that, I remember how it was with you. How amazing it was, and how tender and passionate you were to me. My mind remembers it; but my body is still scared of it".

"I know, love", he said, holding her hand and trying to take off him, "and you don't have to—"

"—Yes, I do", Valerie said firmly. "I do have to. And more than that, I need to. I need to remember, and I need to face it, so each time I will replace those awful memories with new ones… Ones of tenderness and pleasure and love, and I know, even if somewhere deep in my mind, that it's how sex is with you. It won't be easy, I'm aware, but first times are never easy. I think it would be similar to, you know, the first time, when you don't know what to expect, you don't know what to do and, well, it hurts. It gets better with time until it reaches the point were it is fantastic", she said and smiled. "It is something I have to do. I need to go through this. It's part of my healing process", and then she laughed a little, "it's doctor recommended".

Severus was awed, still holding her hand on him. "Are you sure you're ready?"

"I won't be more ready than that, Severus. And now it seems perfect, because I can see you. I can look in your eyes while we make love and know that the man inside me loves me and would never hurt me".

Overwhelmed and not controlling his own breath, Severus cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. "Never. Never, love, and that's why I've been waiting for you. I want you to enjoy it more than I will"

"Will you be patient with me?", Valerie whispered, holding his hands still on her face

"I will. We'll take as long as you want and as many times as we need".

She leaned forward and kissed him, this time feeling him respond to her and immediately take control over the kiss. Valerie relaxed as he wordlessly told her he would take care of it.

He would take care of her. Kissing her slowly and tenderly, he pulled her closer, her crossed legs now resting slightly over his. Holding her face, Severus slid his kisses to her cheeks, slowly passing to her right ear and placing a soft kiss on her earlobe. He remembered having seen the other earlobe bleeding from a hard bite someone gave her, and preferred to stay away from it, for now. Severus took a quick glance to her face and saw her with her eyes closed, feeling his touches, although her eyebrows seemed a little tense. He then resumed his soft kissed, now just under her ear and down to her neck.

He remembered that spot that made her shiver and moan unintentionally. He kissed it and let just the tip of his tongue taste her, and the spot was still right there, he was delighted to notice. Severus felt Valerie's hand lightly touch his hair and slide to his own neck, softly holding him in place, as to tell him that that was indeed a good place to start. Kissing her right there, feeling her pulse increase a bit, he slid a hand from her face down to her neck to the shoulder and held her before slowly leaning forward, pushing her down with him. He felt her pulse go stronger under his lips and tongue, but she didn't resist. She lied down and he rested on his side, up on one elbow, and looked down at her.

"Trust me?", he whispered

"Yes. I trust you".

He leaned down and kissed her again, his tongue entering her mouth a little deeper than before, as a test. He needed to see how far he could go without scaring her. He took his time lowering his kissed from her mouth, face and neck, until he found Valerie much more relaxed under him. Tentatively, he reached for the top buttons of the white shirt she wore and undid the first. He kissed the skin under there and kept his way down, his kissed passing between her breasts and not giving them attention yet. When Severus fully opened her shirt and opened it, he looked again at her. She looked somewhat stiffened, but said nothing. Encouraged, Severus resumed kissing her and breathing onto her skin while his hand roamed on her belly and sides. He glided the tip of his fingers up her side, featherlike, and felt her chills and saw the goose pumps on her skin.

"Ticklish?", Severus asked

Valerie smiled a little nervously, "Yes".

Now he kissed her skin where his fingers had been. She startled on the first touch but relaxed soon. Valerie closed his eyes and permitted herself to relax as much as she could. She felt his lips soft kissing her and it felt so completely different from her worst nightmares. His was gentle, tender, and it was him.

It was still hard to relax and at every different touch or kiss, she had to do the mental exercise to remember that everything she went through was in the past, that that was different, that that was love and it would not hurt her. Her heart was pounding in a mixture of fear and excitement. Excitement, yes, she felt that too. Severus knew what to do and remembered every single spot he had discovered long ago when they made love for the first time; her body was starting to respond to him, but her mind was still insecure and scared. Severus must have sensed it, for the next thing he did was lay down again and kiss her slowly, taking his time, letting her relax again before trying to touch again.

Still kissing her lips, Severus touched her on top of the bra and she hissed into his mouth, again a mixture of feelings. Severus withdrew his hand, feeling she was not ready for this, only to have her hand hold his and make it touch her again. Obliging, he touched and squeezed lightly, and felt her breath change. He broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes, to find her anxious but determined. Silently she told him to go on. Severus held the white fabric and slid it down, revealing her right breast. He breathed in at the view; white creamy skin and the pink, pretty nub hardened. Lost into the sight, Severus startled when Valerie rose up on her elbows and tried to reach the clasp of her bra. Severus helped her with a simple gesture that made it unfasten. She lied down again and took it off, immediately closing her eyes to control her anxiety. It was hard to tell what she was feeling now, being naked in front of a man again.

Valerie startled and shivered all over when she felt Severus lips on her erect nipple. She gasped aloud and her hand few to his head, grasping his hair. Stimulated, Severus kissed and lapped at her, grasping to the other breast.

"Oh, God…", Valerie whispered. "Oh, that's good".

He groaned in answer and Valerie felt the vibration on her skin. Severus moved his kisses to the other breast and she gasped again at the sensation, as his hand slid down her body, featherlike until her waistband. He moved down to caress her thigh and Valerie tried to keep her focus on his lips kissing her breast and his breath on her skin. She caressed his hair and pressed on his scalp when he nibbled her nipple, making her moan quietly.

Severus looked up at her to watch her reaction when he reached between her legs, sliding his hand slowly under her skirt. She opened her eyes and looked at him, their eyes locking. Seeing the question in his eyes, Valerie nodded and swallowed, hand still in his hair. He touched her thought her knickers and she stiffened. Severus took his hand away immediately.

"No", she said. "Don't stop. I'm ok".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll tell you if I need to stop", and she saw he was still unsure about it. "Kiss me", she said puling him down to her again.

For the next long minutes, they kissed slowly as Severus touched her. In the beginning he got no reaction from her, her knockers warm but completely dry. He kissed her lips, neck and her breasts, taking his time, until he stared to notice subtle changes. Her breath became shallower and the warmth between her legs increased; Her nipples were hardened and Severus felt some dampness on his fingers.

"Let me touch you", Severus whispered kissing her neck, the same spot that made her shiver

"Yes", she breathed without thinking

Severus let go of her and knelt on the bed, looking down on her. He knew that look, he had caused that breathless look on her before. She was coming back. He reached for her waistband and brought it down, knickers included, slid them thought her legs and tossed them away. Valerie lay there, naked in front of him again. He caressed her legs, his eyes roaming all over her body, and made her spread for him. He looked at her and almost lost it. He had missed so that so much. He had dreamed about having her again for so long now, and there she was. His girl.

He leaned down slowly and carefully to not startle her and positioned his head between her thighs. He heard her gasp nervously when he bent down his head and touched her with his tongue, but as fast as it happened, he also felt her relax under his kissed. Again he took his time, trying to ignore his own ache to take her, and felt her slowly swallow in his mouth and became wetter by the minute. Finally she seemed to stop holding herself and moaned aloud, her hand flying to his hair. He groaned into her, delighted, and entered her with a finger. The sound she made was a mixture of gasping and moaning, and he thought he heard her whisper his name. She was trembling now, her inner muscles pressing his finger, and he entered another one with it, suckling at her clit, not containing his own randy groans.

"Oh God!", Valerie cried. "I can't believe it! Severus, I'm coming!"

Severus felt her clenching around his fingers and soaking his lips as she cried out. He looked up to see her hands on her own head, lost in an amazing orgasm, hips buckling up to meet his mouth. He took out his fingers but kept savoring on her, until he felt her relax into the mattress again. Sitting up on his heels, he looked down at her and smiled cleaning his lips with his fingers. She was still away, looking amazed and breathless. She suddenly looked at him and opened her arms.

"Come here", she said and he obliged, lying down on top of her. "My Severus, my wonderful, wonderful man!", she said holding him tight, her voice full of emotion. "I love you, Severus. I love you so much!"

"Oh, Valerie!", was all he managed to say, his heart tight and his blood burning for her. He entered her slowly but continuously and felt her legs wrap his waist.

"Severus, look at me", she asked and he moved into her locking his eyes with hers. "Keep talking to me, please!"

"Shhh, my love, look at me, I'm here", he told her. "It's ok. I'm here. You're fine now. I've got you, my love".

He kept reassuring her for long minutes while they moved together, the heat increasing and her expression softening as she reached another peak.

"I can see you!", she cried, looking at him. "It's so good to see you, Severus".

He smiled down at her, moving faster inside her. "Yes, you can see again, love. Look at me. I've got you".

She cried out closing her eyes now, loosing herself and making him loose it as well. They came together, sweating and panting, and somewhere in the middle of it Valerie started laughing, guffawing as tears rolled down her eyes. Severus embraced her tightly and felt her laugh and cry on his chest, their bodies still connected. He spoke to her, soft words reassuring her, until he felt her relax again. He slid out of her and laid down beside her, never letting her go, and they relaxed together.

After a while Severs felt Valerie had fallen asleep. He let out a breath, relieved this had been a good experience to her. He let sleep take him as well. All was fine now. His girl was completely back.