After another 4 hours at the hospital, the Claybournes were finally home. The girls were settled in the living room in front of the TV. Rayna was getting chicken noodle soup and crackers ready for them. Deacon had gone upstairs to take a shower and put on clean clothes.
"I feel better. No more puke and mucous on my shirt." He smiled as he came in the kitchen for some coffee
"If you wanna go back to bed, I can take care of the girls. You look exhausted, Deacon." Rayna said as she sat at the table eating soup and crackers with 2 still sickly looking kids.
"I'm alright, besides…you're feeding them…I'd give it an hour tops and you're gonna be cleaning up noodle vomit." He smirked knowing what was coming after dealing with 2 days of it.
"Gross. I really didn't need that visual, Deke." Rayna said as she dropped her spoon in the bowl and gave up eating. Even after 4 ½ years with a kid, she couldn't handle puke without getting sick herself. Every time Maddie had been sick, Deacon had to deal with that part of it.
"Just bein honest. They've been brutal." He laughed as he felt their little heads for fever.
"Fever's seem to be better, but you're both still looking pretty green. How are you feeling now that you're eating?"
"Icky." Scarlett whined still pretty weak, and wheezing again.
"My head still hurts, daddy."
"OK, we'll get you more drugs and back to bed after lunch. I'll get Scar's nebulizer ready for a treatment." Deacon said as he read the instructions for the 1st home breathing treatment they'd attempted.
Deacon sat on the couch giving Scarlett her breathing treatment as Rayna cleaned up the kitchen. Maddie was whiny and jealous of the extra attention Scarlett was getting. She was used to having Deacon to herself, especially when she was sick and just wanted to be held.
"C'mere, sweetie. Mama's home. Why don't we go upstairs and read a book?" Rayna said as she carried a crabby Maddie up the stairs.
The Nyquil kicked in before Rayna finished 3 pages, and Maddie was out cold again.
Rayna went to her room to unpack and take a long, hot bath. She was surprised to see Deacon had moved back into their bedroom. His toothbrush, deodorant, aftershave, and cologne were back on the sink top. His clothes were back in their walk in closet next to hers. His wallet and keys were on the night stand where he always put them.
The scent of his cologne was heavy in the room. He'd just taken a shower. She'd missed him so much over the past month. He was just down the hall, but she'd missed the closeness. His scruff. His tender kisses on the back of her neck when he climbed in bed.
She took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to do next.
She climbed in the tub to soak her cares away, but her mind was going crazy with questions.
"Should I stay? Do I want to stay? Has anything really changed? If I stay, How can I ever tell Deacon about Luke?"
"It's Christmas. I can't leave the girls, and I can't take them away from Deacon now. Would Deacon fight for custody if I leave?
"I still love him. GOD I love him, but he'll never forgive me if he finds out what I've done. Maybe it would hurt him less if I just leave?"
"…and Luke. I care about him. Will he understand if I stay with Deacon? How will it effect our working relationship? We agreed no strings, right?"
"Oh who am I kidding? We slept together! That ALWAYS means there are strings, even when you say there are none." She sighed and cried. There was no easy answer. No fix. No way out.
"GOD, what have I done?" She sobbed alone in the tub knowing this was the beginning of the end. There was no way Deacon would EVER understand this, or even deal with it. It'll push him over the edge. He barely spoke to her for a month over a tabloid picture holding hands with Luke. This was going to be so much worse.
The water was getting cold. She thought she couldn't cry anymore. She got out, dried off, and put on her fluffy robe. Deacon was sitting on the bed, watching her intently when she opened the door.
"Ray, you've been avoiding talking to me all day." He said as she looked for clothes in the closet.
"C'mon. We need to talk about things, baby. We can't avoid it forever."
"Oh I don't know, Deacon. You've managed pretty well in the same house for the past month." She said a little harsher that she intended, but only because she was trying not to completely break down in front of him now.
"OK, you're right. I deserved that. Rayna, I've been a jerk. I know that, and I know you've done everything to try to fix this. I was mad. Hell, I'm still mad, and hurt, and I don't get why chose to keep things from me."
"You had your reasons, and I guess it doesn't really matter why. I love you, Ray. I am sooo sorry for being such an asshole, and not even willing to try, or talk for so long." His voice was cracking and his blue eyes were wet with tears.
"You dropped everything and went to Natchez with me, and made all the arrangements for mom, and made Scarlett feel like she was part of the family, and you're still doing that, even the way I've been acting."
"She's my niece too, Deacon. None of this is her fault."
"Can we please just forget about the past month, and all the bullshit, and try to work this out?" he asked with such hope in his eyes. It was breaking Rayna's heart knowing how much more she was going to hurt him before this was over.
"Deacon, I….Luke and I have been together the past couple days. There are more tabloid pictures coming, and …." She couldn't breathe, she tried to swallow, she couldn't speak, her mouth was dry, her face was soaked in tears, she was shaking uncontrollably.
"Ray, C'mere, please…I am soooo sorry. I shouldn't have put you through hell the way I did." He completely broke down seeing how hurt she was, and pulled her into a tight embrace.
"I love you, Ray. I don't care what the damn tabloids say. It's not worth losing you. Please, baby, say you still wanna try, that you meant everything in your letter?" he was pleading with her to try to save their marriage as he kissed her forehead, and cheeks, and tried to stop her tears.
Rayna was paralyzed with fear. Fear of really losing Deacon forever. Fear of telling him the truth. Fear of not telling him the truth. Fear of a future without Deacon. Fear of a future trying to keep a horrible secret from him, and praying he never finds out.
"Ray, C'mon….please just say you'll try. We love each other. That's all that matters. We'll figure out the rest. I CAN'T LOSE YOU RAYNA!"
"Whatever you want me to say…I'll say it. Whatever you want me to do…I'll do it. You want counseling again? We'll go. You still want another baby? We'll have one, just….PLEASE RAYNA, DON'T SAY IT'S OVER!" He was crying harder than she'd ever seen him cry, and holding onto her for dear life.
"Deacon, I…..I….can't…" she struggled for the right words, but there were none that would soften this blow. She couldn't tell him about Luke. He was falling apart in front of her with just the thought of losing her. It would kill him if she told him now.
"I love you so much, Deacon. I am sooooo sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am for EVERYTHING!" she cried as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave in to his pleas to make up, and keep trying.
They cried and held each other for several minutes. Deacon finally pulled away to look into Rayna's eyes, and wipe her tears away.
"I don't give a damn about Luke Wheeler. I know you have to work with him. I don't like it, I don't trust him, but I trust you. I won't bring it up again this time. I promise, OK?" he said as he looked into her eyes with such faith and trust in her, in their marriage.
Rayna felt lower than low hearing him say he trusted her, but there was no way she could tell him the truth right now, maybe never.
"So, we're good?" His smile lit up the room knowing he had Rayna back.
"Yeah, we're good. I love you, babe." She said as she ran her finger through his thick hair and kissed him, happy to be back in his arms, in a place she thought she'd never feel so safe, and loved again.
She was struggling with feeling so happy, but so sad all at once.
"The girls are drugged up pretty good on Nyquil. We have at least of couple hours of make up time, and I can't keep my hands off you for another second." Deacon was all smiles as he lead Rayna to their bed.
She let Deacon make love to her, and kiss every inch of her body. She'd missed him so much, and for now she had her sweet, caring, attentive husband back.