A/N I should warn you that this chapter contains suggestion of character death.

A/N 2 I would like to apologise to fans of A2A that in order for things to work I may have to deviate from A2A canon a bit.

This was stupid. Alex thought, it was getting her nowhere. She slammed the diary shut and opened the one marked 1980. 'I should have done this in the beginning.' She muttered.

2nd January 1980

It was the day every coppers wife dreads. The knock on the door. The moment when you find out that your husband won't be coming home ever again… The only difference was I was expecting it.

"Guv?" I said as Gene stood on the doorstep. He looked so uncomfortable. Phyllis stood by his side. It was so unusual to see her out of the station I was slightly taken aback.

"Can we come in Annie luv?" He said. There was an edge to his tone and my stomach sank.

"It's Sam isn't it?"

Gene looked as though he would rather be anywhere else than here.

Phyllis ushered me into the sitting room. "Let's go and sit down Annie…"

Ignoring her I grabbed hold of the Guvs' coat and searched his face desperately. "Tell me."

"We were on a job, jewellery blag. Sam gave chase and we don't know what happened…"

"Sam?" I asked.

"Looks like he lost control, the car caught fire and ended up in the canal." He said, not being able to return my gaze.

"Where… where is he?"

I looked from Gene to Phyllis. They were both looking at me with such pain in their eyes.

"Annie… luv…" Phyllis started to say.

"We couldn't find his body." Gene said quickly.

There, it was said. Like ripping a plaster from a wound, quick, painful but done... Body.

Upstairs Alice began to cry.

"Excuse me. I need to see to my daughter." I said. It was like I was in a slow motion dream.

"Let me…" I could see the pity on Phyllis' face.

I shook my head and walked slowly up the stairs. Alice was sitting up in her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Picking her up I tried to soothe her, it was more of an instinct than a conscious action. I returned to the sitting room, my baby cradled in my arms.

The Guv was pacing up and down, Phyllis just awkwardly looking at her feet. The moment Alice saw Gene she immediately reached out for him. He took her and she rested her head against his shoulder with her thumb in her mouth, blinking back at me.

"Um… would you like a cup of tea?" I don't even know why I said it. What else was there to say?

"I'll make it." Phyllis was desperate to be doing something. I nodded.

I sat down heavily on the sofa, my fingers twisting the eternity ring. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on that moment. 'Whatever happens, ever, I will always, always love you Annie."

I stood up. "How could this happen Gene?" I had my hand over my mouth as if I didn't want to ask these things. "Sam was so careful… You drive like a maniac but it's Sam who…"

I stifled a sob.

"I don't know luv." He shook his head. "There doesn't seem to have been any other car involved."

This must be hell for him. Despite their differences Sam and Gene had been close, like brothers. I could only imagine that his agony must be nearly as palpable as my own. No-one to blame, no-one to make pay, just a stupid accident.

Gene handed Alice back to me. "I'll just be…" He pointed to the door.

By the time he came back Phyllis was trying to amuse Alice while I shakily tried to drink my tea. He had something in his hand. Sam's jacket.

"Guv?" Phyllis said quietly. "That's evidence?"

"It's Sam." He snapped handing it to me.

I couldn't help myself. I immediately buried my face into its folds and breathed in. If I closed my eyes I could imagine it was Sam, that he had his arms around me and he was telling me everything was going to be alright.

"This has been through some things?" I said looking up at Gene.

He nodded as I clung on to the battered thing as if it was a life raft.

Gene crouched down so his face was level with Alice. She looked up, so wide eyed and innocent, completely unaware that her world was about to change for ever.

"Your daddy…" He poked her stomach making her wriggle and smile. "I made a promise to your daddy."

"Gaddy…?" She said looking up expectantly at the door. My heart just broke.

Gene blinked and inhaled slowly. "I made a promise that as long as there is breath in my body, If you need the Gene Genie, I will always be there for you little lady." Alice took hold of his finger and for one moment I thought he was going to lose whatever self control he had left. "Of course I told him he was being a great wet Nancy…" He said gruffly, shaking off the emotion. "But I promised him, and I make that same promise to you."

"Thank you." I said and I really meant it.

Gene had lied. That was Alexs' second thought after she read the entry again. Alice was still very much alive when Sam disappeared. Her first thought was for the Guv himself. She knew he could be difficult, detached, even cruel, but she could not imagine him being able to stand in front of Annie and tell her that her husband was dead knowing that he was responsible. Worst still facing the little girl who obviously held such a soft spot in the Manc lions' heart. The guilt, if he was the one who took away her Daddy, wouldn't have been possible for anyone to bear.

18th January 1980

What is the point of a funeral when there is no-one to bury? It's not for the deceased. I sound so clinical. It wasn't 'the deceased' it was Sam, my Sam… only it wasn't even him. The funeral is so that everyone can say goodbye. But this was hollow and empty, just like the casket.

Phyllis came to the house early, fussing around me like a mother hen. I wanted to tell her to stop, to make everything stop. 'Sorry everyone, I've changed my mind…' but it wasn't possible to change anything now. Alice was whiney, not surprising when her mother was jumping at every shadow. I held her tight, my heart beating so hard it hurt my chest. As I sat on the sofa stroking my daughters back, Sams' jacket lay next to me, just as if he had just come in from work and thrown it there. I picked it up and wrapped it around Alice, she nestled down against me just as she had on the day she was born, while we waited for the hearse to arrive.

Gene had obviously been steeling himself for the worst. I smelt the whisky on him as soon as he stood next to me in the church, despite the situation I managed a small smile. How many times had he and Sam argued the toss over a bottle of scotch. It was a sobering thought… from now on the Guv would be drinking alone.

Chris and Ray stood on the other side of me. Chris, nervous and shaking, desperately wanting to say something comforting, but having no idea what it should be. Ray took the opposite approach. When he saw me there was a brief military nod, as if that was all that needed to be said. I was shielded from the rest of the mourners by Gene.

There were so many people! They over spilled from the church into the graveyard beyond. Some in black, some in uniform, Sam had touched so many peoples lives it didn't seem possible. He'd never been particularly religious so I made sure it was more a service about the Sam Tyler we knew rather than some deity who was allowing my family to be ripped apart.

There were tears, lots of tears… I didn't feel I had any left to cry.

As they lowered the coffin into the grave I felt my knees buckle. Gene was there to hold me up, keep me strong. I threw a rose onto the top of the coffin, unable to speak. "See ya Sammy-boy." Gene said quietly, before leading me away.

They're probably all still in the pub. That's what you do isn't it? When a job's done you go to the pub with your mates, with your colleagues and you get some respite.

I just wanted to be alone. Putting Alice on the floor in front of the television I curled up on the sofa with my head against Sams' jacket. I needed the smell of him.

"Please tell me I am doing the right thing." I whispered, desperately needing some reassurance.

There were feint voices that sounded like they were right outside the house, laughing, shouting. The clink of glasses and the general bonhomie of an evening in the Railway arms, I was even sure I could hear Nelson. 'What can I get you Mon Brav?' Crossing to the window, before I even pulled back the curtains I knew what I would see. Over the last few months strange happenings had become a regular occurrence. I was almost becoming used to it. As I pulled back the material there was no window, no curtains, all I could see were stars, like I was standing at the end of the universe looking out into time itself. It took my breath away.

Stars! Alex felt like her jaw would hit the floor. 'The stars… why stars?' She remembered her own experience. Standing there gazing out into the abyss. Annie had seen them too. Greedily she read on.

A soft tapping on the door made me start. When I turned back to the window the street had returned, everything was normal. I wondered who could be calling today. Someone coming to check that I was alright? I knew who I wanted it to be, more than anything in the world I wanted to open that door and see Sam standing there with a dopey look on his face. That was the one thing I knew wasn't going to happen.

"Can I help you?"

The man was tall, dark hair slicked back above rounded glasses. His raincoat was pulled tight around him, the collar turned up against the wind.

"Mrs Tyler?" He said sympathetically. His accent wasn't local.

"Yes?"

He flashed a warrant card. "I've been sent from Scotland Yard. I want you to know that we are all so desperately sorry for your loss."

"Scotland Yard?" I must have looked completely flummoxed.

He nodded. "May I come in?"

He sat awkwardly on one end of the sofa while I sat at the other. "What can I do for you?" I said eventually. He had been staring at Alice in a way that made me quite uncomfortable.

She turned to look at the stranger. Her eyes narrowed and suddenly she began to scream and cry hysterically. Picking her up I began to pace backwards and forwards, patting her back.

"I'm so sorry. We've buried her father today, it must have upset her more than I first thought. At this age you don't know how much they really understand."

"I quite understand Mrs Tyler. My name is DCI Jim Keats, I run the Department of Discipline and Complaints. I've come to talk to you about the circumstances surrounding your husbands'… accident, and how that might relate to a DCI Gene Hunt."

Alex threw the diary away from her as though it had become radio active. Jim Keats had been to speak to Annie, he'd been to see her on the day of her husbands' funeral. Up until now the face of D & C had always claimed he began his investigations when Alex was shot. Now it seemed Keats hadn't exactly been the picture of honesty himself.