Death Note is an interesting thing. Somehow, it managed to single-handedly draw me back into modern manga…

Therefore, I have a lot to owe to it. Which is why I'm taking writing A.I. so seriously. I know it's a little silly, but this almost farcical fic is my own little way of thanking Ohba and Obata for making Death Note up…

Now that I say that, it sounds like I'm actually making fun of them. Really, I'm not.

DISCLAIMER: See above.

--

Chapter Eighteen: Pursuit

Light Yagami opened the small black book and glanced down the list of names. He could hardly believe how many there were… But these were only the tip of the iceberg.

Very soon, there would be many more names. His mission would be complete quicker than he ever could have imagined.

"Impressive, Misa," he said, still perusing the book. "You certainly know a lot of people, don't you?"

"Misa is popular! Misa is a star," she grinned. "Of course Misa knows a lot of people… but don't worry, Light's the only one that really matters to Misa…" She snuggled up to his shoulder, and wrapped her arms around him.

"And I couldn't be happier about it. So… shall we start work on getting L that girlfriend?" Light smiled, pulling her even closer to him. "After all, that's what we both want, right?"

"Oh, yes!" Misa giggled. "You can read out the names and numbers, and I'll phone them. If we work together, we can get this out of the way in no time… and then maybe we could do something a little more interesting when we're done…!!"

A pitifully predictable wink shot his way.

"Yes, Misa. Perhaps we could," he said, winking back. "But, before we get too distracted, I want to make sure you've remembered what we were talking about before. What are the rules about these phone calls you're going to make?"

Surprisingly, Misa didn't seem to be fazed by him talking to her in such a patronising way: though, then again, she probably wasn't paying much attention to how he was speaking… "Misa remembers! I tell them I have an…"

"Eccentric."

"… yeah, a weird friend who is looking for someone to love. I don't mention that he's L, because nobody's supposed to be told that he's L: instead I have to call him Takeshi. Umm… if they say they'd like to meet him after I tell them what he's like, I say that I'd like to meet up with them before they do so I can make sure that they're definitely right for him. If they ask why, I say that he's very… umm…"

"Reclusive."

"yeah, that, and that he's not very comfortable around certain people. Did I get everything, Light?"

Light planted a kiss on her cheek, and smiled. "Yes, Misa. It was very good of you to remember everything; I'm proud of you."

Misa's cheeks flushed pink. "Thank you! I'm so happy..."

"… I'm happy that you're happy," he said, "but we really do need to press on with this, otherwise we might not have time for anything more romantic afterwards."

"Oh no!" Misa flapped a little, and hurriedly fumbled her mobile phone open. "We'd better get working straight away! Call out the first name, please!"

Light leafed to the first page of Misa's black address book, and found the first female name on the list. "Inoue Yamana, 0XXXXXXXXX."

Misa tapped the digits into her phone, lifted it to her ear and waited for Inoue to pick up.

Eventually, she said, "Inoue-chan? This is Misa-Misa… I haven't seen you in a while – sorry! I've been too busy with my boyfriend… Oh, haven't I told you about him? His name's Light… yeah, I thought so too, it's so unusual… and he's so handsome and smart… He's so wonderful… He's sitting right next to me now, actually, but he's giving me a funny look…"

She giggled a little.

"Not that kind of funny look! Misa's Light is a little shy with that sort of thing at the moment… no, it's something else. He's rolling his hands at me like he wants me to say someth… Oh, oh, I get it! Sorry, Light-chan! Misa is on it!"

Light massaged his temples a little as his gaze returned to the address book.

"I called to ask you a question. I've got this guy friend called Takeshi, and he's very lonely. I was wondering if you'd be interested in going on a date or two with him? … No, not a double date… No, I don't want to spend that much time with Takeshi, he's really weird… He sits all funny, and eats sweets all the time and is all pale, and he seems to spend all his time with a weird old English guy in a hat… Oh. So you don't want to go on a date with him? You sure?... Oh. Okay… Umm… Bye then!!" Misa put the phone down.

"Inoue said no, Light. I'm sorry…" she mumbled. "Maybe we'll have more luck with the next one."

"Erm… yes. I have a couple of pointers you might want to think about before we do though," Light corrected his posture and turned directly to face her. "First of all, perhaps you could try going for the hard sale. For example, instead of saying that Takeshi sits oddly or eats sweets all the time, you could say he 'has a liberal approach to the constraints of the physical norm' and 'doesn't feel the need to abide by our diet-obsessed societal structure'… Or," he added, noting the extreme perplexity on Misa's face, "you could just say he was shy and sweet. For example."

"Wow!" said Misa. "That makes him sound much cuter! But what do I say if they ask what he looks like?"

"Just say he sets his own style. He likes to keep things simple and rugged," he smirked. "And most importantly, mention that you could lose yourself in his big, dark eyes."

She visibly shivered. "How can you make something so weird and wrong sound so nice?"

"It's a knack I have."

"Well, Misa will try hard to be as good as Light. Next number, please!"

Light read out the number, and relaxed a little as the phone conversation began. She finally seemed to be learning.

--

"Next number, please," said Misa, her thumb poised above the mobile phone keypad, a slightly fatigued look in her eyes. She had been talking for about three hours solid now, and whilst this was nothing out of the ordinary, the application of Light's helpful pointers truly taxed her brain. Still, she wasn't about to give up on something that would make Light happy… especially with so much at stake.

He shook his head, and closed the address book.

"What? Are we finished?" she asked hopefully.

"We're finished. You did very well, Misa."

"So I've phoned everyone in my book now?" she mused. "Hey! Does that mean we can do something fun now?"

Light folded his arms. "… Hmm… Well, I suppose we can for a little while. But ideally I'd like to continue working on our project afterwards. It would be better for us both if we got it over with as soon as possible – wouldn't you agree?"

Misa frowned, then smiled, then frowned again as yet another subconscious battle began inside her mind: the decision between having a lot of pleasure now or moderating herself so she could have even more fun later… Eventually she replied, "Yeah. Misa and Light need a little rest to do something fun now, but we can come back to this to try and get L some more attention later."

"I really appreciate your enthusiasm for helping me out – after all, we've already managed to find," he paused for a moment, "seventeen prospective partners for him. It's all down to your dedication – you must really care about me and what I want."

"I do! I really do! Misa really really cares for Light! Misa would do anything for Light!"

"And I would do anything for you, Misa," he smiled, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "How about I take you out for a nice romantic lunch, just to show my appreciation for all your hard work?"

Misa said something, but nothing coherent. It sounded like a cross between a creaky floorboard and a whistle, as she appeared to inhale and exhale at the same time. The only way in which anyone could possibly hope to accurately describe it would be to say that she was speaking in love hearts.

"I thought you'd like that," Light moved closer to her, now wrapping his entire arm around her shoulders and hugging her tightly to him. "Come on – we'd better get changed into something a little more appropriate. I want to make sure you're as happy as you can be: perhaps I could even let you help me get changed…"

The amount of heat emanating from Misa now could be comparable to a blast furnace. If she was still breathing, she was very good at hiding it.

Light just smiled to himself.

--

The restaurant was unusually quiet, especially considering that it was midday. Only a few tables were actually occupied – mainly by high-flying business types and the odd upper class dining party.

In the very centre of the room, two 'lovers' were seated, gazing 'longingly' into one another's eyes.

Light absent-mindedly pushed a stray vegetable across his plate. From the look in her eyes, Misa was definitely heading in the direction he had assumed she would. If he just kept applying the same methods he had been doing, she would crack before long: either she'd be reduced to a smear through the sheer effort of keeping up with his constant demands, or become completely engulfed in her own hormones.

It was almost a waste. Despite all her irritating faults, she was proving to be a very good and obedient pawn – if you knew the trick to make her work correctly. And better yet, if you dangled the right bait in front of her she didn't even mind being used…

Still. He would soon be rid of her, and all of this: working constantly just to keep her happy, having to take her out to expensive, romantic restaurants in the middle of the day… and Order WOULD be restored.

"Light…"

"What is it, Misa sweety?"

Misa flushed crimson and giggled. "Um… I just wanted to know what you were thinking of. You're looking even more serious than usual!"

"Oh… Well, what I was thinking about really does require serious thought, so I suppose that makes sense…"

"Ooh! What is it?" she leaned forward excitedly, then hesitated. "… It's not something really serious, like boring things, like schoolwork or something like that, is it? If it is then Misa doesn't really mind if you don't tell her."

"… No. I was thinking about… our relationship." He adopted a suitably earnest expression, and continued. "About where it's going, how I feel about you and… most importantly, I was thinking about our commitments to one another."

"Commitments?"

"Yes, our promises. I just wanted to know whether we were both on the same footing… I want this to be an equal relationship between the two of us, and to do that we both have to respect one another's feelings and opinions. Right?"

"Light must really care about Misa to say that! That's so cute!!" she leaned further over the table and kissed him. "Light is so thoughtful and wonderful… Misa is so happy just to be near you…"

"But… if your only wish is to be with me all the time, what happens if I need some space? If the only thing that makes you happy is being by my side, and there comes a time where I can only be happy if I'm left alone… what would happen then?"

Misa suddenly seemed to be hit with the potential gravity of the situation. "… Oh no! I don't know… I don't know what I would do! Oh no!"

Light clasped his hands together, and kept his eyes firmly fixed on hers. "Let me put it this way. More than anything else, I want you to be happy. But in order to make sure you are, I need to know what makes you happy. So, if I wanted to be alone and would be unhappy if I wasn't, what would be more important to you: would you want to stay with me even though it meant I would be upset, or would you care about my feelings above your own and leave me be?"

"… To Misa, Light is more important than the world… If Light wasn't happy, Misa could never be happy. So," she looked pained as she prepared her next words, "… Misa would make sure Light was happy. Misa would leave Light alone so he could be happy again…"

Perfect.

"That's so considerate of you. I'm so lucky to have such a kind, caring girlfriend," he said, smiling softly.

"Thank you…" she said. "… but you don't need to be alone now, do you?"

"No, Misa, I don't."

"… And if you did, and I went away, when you were happy again I could come back, right?"

"Yes, Misa."

Misa smiled. "I'm so happy…"

"I'm sorry if I've upset you – let's just enjoy our meal for now," he said. "We have all afternoon to be serious about getting L a partner."

--

Author's Note: Back on track with chapter length. Also, back on track with plot progression – this seems to be steaming along quite nicely.

A note to readers who haven't read the manga – the part where Misa is 'speaking in love hearts' is an indication towards a frame where Misa's speech bubble has no words in it – just love hearts. I tried to work out what that would sound like, completely for the purpose of referencing it here…

In my opinion, Light is getting a little creepy now. It doesn't seem to even be about getting revenge any more…

By the way, I'm still interested – perhaps even moreso than before – to know what people think is going to happen. If you think you have an inkling (especially about what L's plan might be (as I'm personally revelling in anticipation of writing that!!)), don't hesitate to share it.

Once again, thanks to everyone who reviews and/or reads this fic. I always wait in fear to see whether I've offended people or not, but thankfully I don't seem to have done so yet. I sincerely hope I don't in the future…

Stay tuned.