I stared at the text, feeling the back of my eyes burn with tears.

'Anne of Green Gables'

Everything came flooding down, almost drowning me in this...emotion at the text.

I wasn't sad. I was definitely not sad.

These tears were...tears of confusion? Frustration? Happiness? Anger?

I wasn't sure, really.

I couldn't stop reading the text over and over again, feeling my heart beat against my chest rapidly.

Why would he text me that? Was it just to get my attention? Or to force me to talk to him? Or, maybe give me a reason to talk to him?

I wasn't ignoring him, but I certainly wasn't acknowledging his existence. I hadn't spoken to him since the night we got back from Hong Kong.

I couldn't say anything to him. I couldn't even look at him without feeling disgusted, while also feeling sympathetic for him. I knew that it was stupid to feel sympathetic for a guy who's repeatedly hurt me in the past.

The past...

That's exactly what it was, but I...

It was hard to describe how I felt about all of this. He was my best friend, my protector, my person. He was everything that I had ever wanted in life before…

He told me why he did me wrong, but I...I don't know. It felt like there was more. There had to be more, other than the things he told me.

He was depressed, wanted comfort, and cut off his emotions to the world. What else, though?

I scrolled up on the phone, looking at all the previous texts he had sent me.

'Sakura, I'm really sorry.'

'I miss you.'

'I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but please...just talk to me.'

'Tell me that you hate me, at least.'

'Are you really going to ignore me forever?'

'Can't we talk about things?'

'Please... I'm sorry for blowing your phone up like this, but please. Just talk to me.'

'I REALLY miss you...'

'Maki's crying non-stop, so I haven't been able to get any sleep, if that makes you feel any better.'

'I know I may seem pathetic to you—'

I stopped reading the messages, feeling my heart ache at them.

Over the last week, he had called at least over one hundred times, and sent over forty texts a day for the last week.

And none of those messages cracked me. I didn't cry or feel sad the least bit for ignoring them, but this one...

I stared at the message before closing my eyes tightly.

This message hit a spot close to home, making me realize how much I missed the old times between us.

I didn't even know that he remembered that book. My love for that book and the movies, the show...everything about it used to be my life.

I had talked about it so much in the past that everyone knew my obsession with it.

I had not even thought about it for years since our falling out, yet my heart still leaped at the thought of it.

Perhaps he remembered what I had told him in the past...

"Sakura, don't tell me that you're reading that book again?" Syaoran said exaggeratedly, snatching the book from my hand.

I launched for the book, falling on top of him to grab the book from his hand. "Give it back!" I exclaimed.

He held the book higher, and away from me so I couldn't reach it. "No. Pay attention to me. I just came all the way here to see you," he said in a pouting tone.

I looked around, trying to find any signs of Onii-chan or Otou-san. "How did you get in?"

He sent me a mischievous grin, showing all his teeth. "Your window," he said sheepishly.

"You—!"

"Aren't you glad to see me?" he asked quietly.

The scowl left my face, and it softened. "Of course, I am," I said truthfully.

"Good. There's no use for this book then," he said, tossing the book to the other side of the room.

I launched towards the book, catching it before it hit the floor. "Don't you dare throw my baby!" I said, holding the book close to my heart.

I had discovered this book in fourth grade after finding it in my father's study. When I showed it to him, he told me that Mother used to love this book with a passion. And for some reason, I grew to love it, feeling like a connection was created between me and mother.

So, here I was, now in 6th grade, and still in love with the book.

The entire story just gives you the most amazing experience ever. As time passed, and the more I read it, the more I understood and realized more and more about the book. It truly made me feel connected to mother with how Father explained her love for it as well.

"I thought Kero was your baby, though," Syaoran said, raising a brow.

I caressed the book, sticking my tongue out at him playfully. "He is, but so is gables. Do you understand the love that I have for this?" I asked, holding the book tightly to my chest.

"I do—"

"Think about it. The entire book just gives you the feels! There's drama, romance, humor, tragedy, and anything that you would need to satisfy your needs. There's this orphanage girl who gets shipped around her entire life, until these wonderful people take her in, though with complications. And soon after, she meets her best friend, Diana. Oh, Diana! She's a wonderful friend, but soon, she meets Gilbert, the boy who teases and taunts her about her red hair, and he—"

I stopped, realizing that he was mimicking every single word I said.

My cheeks began to grow hot in embarrassment and shame. "Have I told you all of this before?" I asked sheepishly.

"Only a thousand times in the last two years," he said teasingly.

"Oh! I'm so—"

He pulled me in his arms, holding me a little tightly. "Don't apologize for loving something so much. Your passion about things make me love you," he said softly.

I could feel my cheeks growing hotter as I relaxed in his arms. "Really?"

"Of course. You wouldn't be Sakura if you didn't."

"Thank you," I said sheepishly, feeling my stomach flutter. "I can't be any happier than this."

"Why is that?" he asked in my hair.

"I have the most two precious things close to my heart right now," I said.

He released me, looking down in my hands to see the book pressed against my chest tightly as I held it.

He chuckled. "What am I going to do with you?"

I grinned. "What? I love this story..."

"I know, I know," he said, smiling at me warmly.

"If you ever want to get to my heart, no matter what it is, all you have to do is say the magic words. If that doesn't work, then the world probably has already ended."

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I'll remember that."

I took a deep breath, and then released it after getting rid of the memory.

Even if he did this so I would talk to him, I still couldn't.

I wasn't quite ready yet. I didn't plan to ignore him forever, because at one point, we would have to talk about all this. After all, I made a promise to his mother that I planned to keep.

Over the last week of only saying five words to him, I realized that I couldn't just let the existence between us end like that.

I didn't know how I wanted it to end, but not like this. If everything between us ended this way, I wouldn't be able to go on feeling this way. I wouldn't be able to trust anyone, anymore because of something that he did.

I had gotten used to this knowledge of not being sad about him telling me what he did in the past. It was a little frightening, since I had begun to develop pleasant feelings for him again.

But, maybe it was because I spent so many years hating him, and assuming the worst about him. Maybe I needed to reevaluate myself too.

But, right now, I just needed space from him. I needed time to myself to think about all of this.

He hurt me in the past...

Hurt me like no other had before...

And now, he confessed and told me why he did everything.

As awful as it sounded, I felt a little cruel for being so cold and mean to him when he told me those things. I called him sick. Mentally sick in a judging tone...

He was depressed, especially after finding out that his mother was ready to die. How could I have treated him like that?

Was I so wrong for talking out of my emotions? I knew doing that was never good, but I...

Something in me couldn't stop the cruel words.

"I didn't want to worry you."

He always used that in the past...

And now it made me wonder if he used it to get away with committing a crime against people.

My fingers hovered over the screen keyboard of my phone, tempting to text back.

I couldn't, though. I didn't know what to say to him. I couldn't say anything to him yet.

I began to type a message, but pressed the backspace, changing my mind. I did that at least five more times before giving up.

I wasn't ready, so there was no need to rush it. We had the rest of our lives, so I didn't need to talk to him just yet.

"So, I already have your dress ready for the graduation party," Tomoyo exclaimed, grabbing my hand as we walked to class.

I smiled, squeezing her hand a little. "You really didn't have to, Tomoyo. Besides, we don't even know if I'm going to graduate yet," I said smiling, contradicting the way I really felt.

"Oh, Sakura, stop it. You know that Li-kun wouldn't let you guys fail," Tomoyo said.

I couldn't agree more with her at that statement. Syaoran would never do anything like that...

I hoped so, at least.

"Maybe," I decided to go with.

"When are you planning to talk to him?" Tomoyo asked in a hushed tone.

I had told Tomoyo everything since she deserved this much from me. I couldn't keep it all bottled up inside, so I ran straight to her after everything happened.

Shrugging my shoulders, I sighed. "I don't know, Tomoyo. Whenever I feel up to it, maybe," I said.

"I understand. I don't know what I would do if Eriol did something like that to me," she said sadly.

I sighed again. "Eriol would never..." I trailed off, wondering if Eriol really was capable of doing such a thing.

I never thought Syaoran would, but he did.

"If he did do it in the circumstances that Syaoran was in... then, Maybe I would...at least talk to him about it," she said quietly.

I stopped walking, causing her to halt in her tracks too. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Like...how I feel and what I think about everything. Does he know?"

I scoffed. "I thought it was common sense that he'd know how I feel," I said.

"You said that you aren't sad or hurt, though."

I thought about it for a moment, pursing my lips a little. "Yeah..."

"So, he doesn't know how you feel. For all you know, he's just assuming that you're ignoring him because you're hurt, or sad."

"I'm not, though. I may have felt...angry last week about it, but I'm not hurt or sad. I just...I can't believe how stupid and naive I was..." I said, almost to myself.

"I'm not telling you, in no to give him another chance, but do you remember how you felt after finding out that Mrs. Li is dying?"

My chest tightened at the thought, tears burning the back of my eyes immediately.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to remind you..."

I shook my head. "No...it's fine...it's just..." I trailed off, feeling a single tear roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away before anyone walked in the empty halls to see me crying. "I do remember what I felt."

I felt the worse than I had ever felt before...and I had even thought of doing anything to get rid of the pain. She had been the closest thing to a mother when I was younger, though I didn't see her often.

"I'm just saying...try to see things from his perspective. He shouldn't have cheated on you. And, he was awful for confessing to you after he slept with that old woman, but he was eleven, Sakura. I don't think either of us understood anything at that age."

She was right. I had thought that more than one time over the past week of me not talking to him.

It wasn't that, that I couldn't forgive. It was the fact that he had cheated on me with the other girl in eighth grade. That left a sore spot, with a scarred image.

"I know that he doesn't deserve another chance, and that's why I'm not telling you to give him another chance. I'm just saying, talk to him."

I sighed, glancing at the clock on the wall ahead of us. I nodded slowly. "O-okay. I just..." I smiled at her sadly. "We should get to class to get this last final over with."

She nodded, smiling at me. "You're right."

"Alright, class! I'm glad to say that everyone's passed the class this semester!" Mizuki-sensei exclaimed after everyone turned in their finals and she finished grading them.

I let out a relieved sigh, almost turning to Syaoran and thanking him for doing the rest of the project alone. I wasn't ready yet, though.

"I want you all to get with your partners for a moment. I know that you're probably seeing each other in a different light," Mizuki said with a chuckle.

There was a few murmurs in the class agreeing with her. Or, majority of the class.

I smiled a little, relieved to see that Syaoran and I weren't the only ones who suffered.

"But, get with your partners anyway and tell them three things that you enjoyed about them while working together," she said.

I sighed, keeping my eyes straight ahead. I was not going to participate in this little activity.

"I would hate for everyone to end on bad terms with your classmates who you've formed a bond with over the past few weeks."

Everyone found their partners, except I remained in my seat.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see Syaoran standing from his seat, walking over to me. I closed my eyes, praying that he wouldn't do this today. Not now.

Him and Tomoyo switched seats so she could talk with Eriol.

He pulled her chair closer to mine, but I still didn't look at him, fearing that I would feel ashamed, embarrassed, and stupid all over again for letting him deceive me so badly in the past.

The past! Leave it in the past!

"I know that you aren't the slightest bit happy about my presence being near you right now, but, I want to do this—what the teacher said."

I swallowed, remaining quiet. I could feel my curiosity growing at what he would say.

"The first thing I enjoyed about you was your open-mindedness. Even though you didn't see the project as something serious in the beginning, you grew very used to the idea of it quickly. It was easy to see you as a mother with how you interacted with Maki." His gaze lowered. "I know in the past you used to say that you wouldn't be a great mom because you never had one, which made you believe that you wouldn't know how to act like one. Because you were opened to the idea of acting like one with a doll, I can say that you'll have the luckiest child in the world," he said softly.

I held back a smile at the compliment, while trying to ignore the uncomfortable tightening in my chest. It was only a reminder of what he had done in the past.

"Uh...the second thing I enjoyed was your assertiveness. If you weren't so annoying and pushy, I probably wouldn't have..." he stopped, becoming very quiet.

I turned to him, wondering why he stopped.

His eyes were closed tightly as if he were trying to hold something back.

Still, I didn't say anything. Instead, I waited until he got himself together.

After a moment, he continued. "I wouldn't have experienced any of this."

I wanted to ask, any of what, but didn't feel up to par for the answer.

"You made me feel opened to show you a side of me that no one had ever seen before..." he said quietly.

And then images of the night he told me about his mother flashed through my head mind. He had been so torn and broken that night...

He took a deep breath, and then released it. "Thank you. That made me realize that I wasn't really alone. I just wish that I knew that years ago..." He shook his head as if he were trying to get rid of the thought. "Anyway, I enjoyed our banters too, I guess. They're what really made this project fun."

It was quiet for a moment, so I just listened to everyone else's conversation, thinking. Should I tell him what I enjoyed? Or continue giving him the silent treatment?

"I guess that's it for that. Now, for the real reason I decided to come to you. I understand where you're coming from. I've thought about everything over the past two weeks, and I get it now. I understand how you've felt for these last year's I treated you like shit."

Before I could stop myself, I let out a small, quiet, humorless laugh. "No, Syaoran. For you to truly understand how I feel, you would have to have feelings for me, worry yourself near death because I've ignored you, and then walk in on me with another guy," I said calmly and quietly to avoid causing a scene.

He didn't say anything for a while before he shook his head. "That's not true."

My eyes widened at that statement, shocked that he would disagree with me.

"I feel it, Sakura. I feel every single bit of it. Except, maybe I feel worse than you've felt for all these years."

"I—"

"The guilt of knowing that I hurt the girl I love is chewing at my heart every second of the day. The thought of you being with a better man in the future takes a piece of my heart every second of the day. I know you understand the feeling of being ignored by someone very important to you, but I... there is no way that you understand this pain that I'm in because you haven't said, or even so much looked in my direction for the last two weeks." He shook his head again, unbelievably. "God, I sound so pathetic. But, I feel it, Sakura. I feel that pain that I'm sure you've prayed for me to feel. Maybe it's not enough for you, but I don't know if I'll be able to take anymore."

I could hear the pain in his voice, that I almost felt guilty. Almost.

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that I didn't want him to feel any more pain than he already experienced...but, how?

As cruel and cold-hearted as it seemed, I used to long for him to feel this way for so many years.

That was in the past, though. It was in the before I knew what he had been going through for all these years alone.

"I'm willing to try, though. Give me whatever else you have left to throw my way. Give me all your pain to double mine," he said the last part quietly.

"Alright, class. I enjoyed working with you all this year. I wish you all a happy journey in life. See you at graduation!"

I turned to Syaoran, seeing him stand. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

He looked at me and smiled sadly. "Goodbye, Sakura."

And he walked away, leaving me with no choice but to watch him.

(Syaoran's Pov)

My leg bounced anxiously as I sat at the desk in my dad's office.

Today was graduation—the day where we would all take the next leap in life. But, here I am, in Hong Kong, away from the place where I would graduate.

I could feel my insides quivering unpleasantly. I didn't want to be there, anyway. I couldn't be there any longer than I needed to be. I was finished with school, I passed all my finals, from the luck of somewhere, and Sakura sure as hell didn't want me there anymore.

I looked down at my trembling hands, only to realize that my entire body was trembling at the thoughts of Sakura.

I had confessed at the oddest time, and she didn't even notice. I didn't even notice because it just happened. It slipped past my lips by itself, though I didn't even know what I was thinking.

I didn't regret it, though. Saying it out loud lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I had never said it as a teenager, yet it came out so naturally.

It didn't feel the same way that I used to say it when we were little. It felt...real. I didn't expect it to feel this way, but it did.

The door opened, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked behind me to see my dad standing at the door. Swallowing, I nodded my head towards him to acknowledge his presence.

"Are you sure you want to miss your graduation, son? There's still time to get you back," he said.

I nodded again. "I'm sure. There's nothing..." I trailed off, feeling my heart rip apart as Sakura's face came to mind. And then, followed the guilt of my betrayal, disgust, and everything else that came with it.

"I don't want to be there anymore," I said truthfully.

I had left everything back in Japan after I made a phone call with mother. I practically begged her to call the school to ask them if I could skip out on the March.

She already knew why I didn't want to be there anymore...but I still couldn't say it out loud in fear of shame and embarrassment of her disappointment in me.

After Sakura didn't respond to any of my calls, texts, and even after the message I was sure she would respond to, I knew that it was time to stop bothering her about talking.

She didn't want to, so there was no use in forcing her to talk to me.

But, there was still a larger portion of me that wanted to keep bothering her

Bother...

"Alright. I'm sure that you know why I called you in here then," he said.

I stared at him with a determined face.

Mingxias existence had almost become non-existent to me over the course of two weeks. I had more time to think about her, the situation, and…everything.

The emotions that I couldn't describe two weeks ago, I knew what it was.

Hatred.

It wasn't something I felt proud of, because...I had never hated anyone in my entire life. No one...but mingxia and the lies, and the...I couldn't help but feel taken advantage of and used. Used like a rag doll for her own pleasure and needs.

But then, there was the side of me that felt guilty for hating anyone, and not wanting to feel like I was putting the blame on anyone besides myself.

I decided to cut my emotions off to the world, not her. I decided to become a cold-hearted bastard, not her. I chose to take her advice, not her She didn't hold a gun to my head to listen to her.

And then, there was that small, quiet voice, reminding me that I was only a kid who was raised by a man who paraded that kind of woman around me...

Sakura was right...I really was sick in the head.

"Mingxia..." he started.

I just stared at him, waiting to get this over with so I could spend time with mother.

"I didn't know about all this."

I cleared my throat, nodding my head. "I know."

"So, why didn't you tell me? Why would you choose to go to your mother after all these years? I raised you, stood by you through everything and you didn't even think to tell me about this?" he asked brokenly.

I could feel more guilt eating at my deteriorating heart. He was right. I was so selfish for this, but that didn't mean I regretted not telling him.

"I was scared," I said quietly.

"You wouldn't have been in trouble. I wouldn't have even told your mother—

"I wanted her to know," I interrupted.

"Why?" he whispered. "You do understand that your mother is dying, right?"

Anger coursed through my blood at the statement. "Mother is fine! Don't you dare talk like that!" I bellowed.

I didn't mean to be disrespectful, but I couldn't help feeling defensive about this. It wasn't fair for him to talk like that to me, or anyone else for that matter.

He took a deep breath. "Xiao Lang. You should have come to me. I would have been able to help," he said in a calm tone.

"I know, but I didn't. I can't tell you anything else besides, I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"What would happen to me, or Mingxia. She was heartbroken..." I trailed off, thinking about all the times she would cry herself to sleep every night at my father's rejection.

I didn't understand at the time why she felt rejected when he would still have her around, but now, it all made sense.

She was in love with father and wanted him all to herself. She wanted to get married with him, have kids of her own with him, so she could be called a Li.

She wanted to be head of the house, but father wouldn't let her. So, I comforted her, blind to all of this, while she comforted me.

"Do you know why she was heartbroken?"

My fists clenched. "I didn't before...but, I grew to understand it later...just a few years ago, actually. I couldn't find myself to care about it anymore when she offered me comfort too, though."

I could feel another tightening feel of guilt in my chest. Not for the way I used her, but for my actions. I could feel my pain increasing even more, the more I spoke about my behavior.

"I fired her."

I didn't feel the least bit surprised by that statement.

"She was using you—she admitted it. Since she couldn't take on the Li name from me, she decided you would be the next best thing."

Slowly, I nodded my head. All of it made sense to me now. I didn't care, though. I deserved to be used, misused, trashed, and anything bad that could happen to me.

"Okay," I said quietly.

He sighed. "We could get you help, son. I know you've been struggling with depression all your life, alone, and that's..." he stopped, taking a deep breath. "That's because of me. Don't blame your mother for any of it."

At the mention of help, mother, and depression. I knew exactly what I had to do. It was time to stop dealing with this alone.

"Okay."

His eyes widened a bit. "Okay?"

I nodded. "Yes. I need help."

A/N: Thank you guys for the reviews, follows, and favorites! The next chapter should be out within the next 24 hours. I just have to edit it.

Also, sorry for drawing out the entire chapter of her ignoring him. It's not meant for her to come off as immature and childish, or judgmental, but that's just how her character is coping with everything that she's found out about a guy she's been in love with.