A/N - As always, thanks so much for the reviews. I still can't beleive how long this story is getting considering I had it all planned for about six chapters. I just hope you're still enjoying it and looking forward to the chapters.
Get It Right
Rachel does not question her about her morning run, at least not until they're back on a flight to New York and Quinn's slowly drifting off to sleep, her hand holding onto Rachel's under the blanket as she feels the plane's ascent.
"Did you know you broke skin when you hit him with the paper?" Rachel's at least smiling when Quinn jerks her eyes open, hoping that she'll be able to talk her way out of any trouble otherwise she knows she'll end up sleeping on the couch back at the hotel and that was not an experience she wants to have.
"I didn't mean..I mean I said I was sorry, it was just an.." She's fumbling for the right words but notices that Rachel's still smiling at her and feels her hand still held firmly in hers. And it hits her that Rachel's not mad but maybe just a tad curious. She should have answered the phone yesterday but had been too busy arguing with Kurt on the colors of the wardrobe he had picked for Rachel's pilot.
She really did love Rachel in red but knew that like her character, she had to evolve before wearing the color that signified how strong her character really was. So in the end, they settled on muted tones to begin with before slowly using pieces of red in Rachel's wardrobe, a scarf, maybe gloves all the while working up to her full character transformation as lead singer in the band.
She had been happy with the visual and didn't think much when she saw Rachel sneaking looks at her as she talked on the phone. She had even forgotten to check who had called, instead celebrating with Rachel that night, actually fulfilling one of her long held fantasies as she laughingly climbed through the window of Rachel's room.
"Shhh, can you at least try and keep it down." She can hear Rachel's frantic whisper even as her own giggles are getting out of hand. She always thought it was going to be a piece of cake climbing up the trellis to Rachel's bedroom and the hard part would only come later in convincing Rachel to let her stay. So that's why she never tried to do it in High School despite it being a mainstay of most of her fantasies. And despite working out regularly and thinking she was still in pretty good shape, she still needed Rachel's help to pull her through the window, the trellis almost giving away under her feet.
Quinn catches her breath and is looking forward to this part only she stops as she stares at Rachel, "What are you wearing?" There's a wonder to her words as she takes in the short red skirt and white and red top, its a perfect facsimile of a cheerios outfit without actually being a cheerios outfit. She stands there gaping even as Rachel turns around, the skirt twirling around long, tanned legs making her throat go dry and a triggers an immediate visceral reaction in her such that her knees go weak.
"You're not the only one with a High School fantasy, Quinn." It's the timber of Rachel's voice that makes her shiver as much as the look in Rachel's brown eyes. All come hither with a hint of uncertainty that makes it so very very sexy in Quinn's mind even as she backs Rachel up towards the bed, her hands already expertly finding the zip at the side of the top.
"I hope you're not planning on wearing that the whole night."
She feels Quinn's teeth nip at her neck and the sound of the zipper suddenly so loud to her ears even as she stills Quinn's hand, "But you haven't even heard my cheer." She hears Quinn's frustrated growl in response and figures that the cheering would come later as she let's Quinn's hands carry on with its singular task.
It was the reason why she was so tired on the flight, the whole night spent making Rachel cry out her name in as many ways as possible even if it was just a whisper or covered with a kiss or exhaled into the pillow because true to their word, her dads had put Shelby and Beth next door.
"That was Finn on the phone yesterday afternoon?" Rachel nods at her question and can see Quinn trying to gauge how angry she is even though she's always been more worried than angry ever since she came home to find Quinn crying after her meeting with her mom. She had been relieved that she wasn't driving and Finn had called her a cab because all through the ride, she kept thinking the worse and to see Quinn lying there on the sofa looking so broken, had made her question her pacifist ways.
It had taken her all of her willpower not to drive over and scream at Judy for being not only a coward but the worse excuse for a mother ever. Quinn had needed her that night and on the subsequent three days, they never spent more than five minutes apart, as she waited to see the after effects on Quinn. She wasn't sure what to expect so she just waited and tried to find out more from the others.
Jackson had told her everything that had occurred from their last trip out and even Santana had called to explain how much of a waste of space Judy had been all those years ago, either too drunk to care about Quinn or not drunk enough to hide her disapproval when Quinn didn't meet her exacting standards.
But ever since that night and the run in she had with Finn, Quinn had appeared fine and so like herself that Rachel wondered if she has just relegated all her bad memories somewhere deep within her, never to surface again. It scared her a bit to know that Quinn could will herself to forget. She remembered how mean Quinn had been to her in High School and realized that she's always had that ability to just lock her feelings away. But Rachel knows now that through it all, Quinn had loved her even if she couldn't accept her feelings then.
"He just wanted to know if you got home ok." Finn had actually told her a bit more than that. Going into detail about how she had looked so jealous when she confronted him but in the end, knowing that they really deserved each other because all he really wanted was something less complicated and a whole lot more pegged to his level of understanding.
"I saw those pictures in the paper." She closes her eyes, embarrassed to explain that she loved and trusted Rachel absolutely but she just didn't trust Finn one iota.
"He set me straight" She hears Rachel giggle at her choice of words and can't help her own grin. "Or rather he resigned himself to the fact that we're meant to be together, completely made for each other." She captures Rachel's lips before snuggling next to her, their hands still linked.
"I wished…" Quinn knows that she's shown Rachel how much she's loved her, every caress, every kiss, every time she looked at her spoke volumes. But what she's always had difficulty in doing was talking about her fears and her own issues.
When things got too much, she'd open up to Santana or Jackson but even then, she had only done so under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol. Not unlike Judy and maybe that's what scares her as well, wishing things were different but knowing she's more like her mother than she would ever like to admit.
"I wanted her to tell me that she loved me." She doesn't want to see pity on Rachel's face and is glad she doesn't but the sadness she sees on it is just as heartbreaking. "Don't" She touches Rachel's cheek. "Don't feel sad for me."
Rachel tries to smile for Quinn but she can't because her heart still aches at the unfairness of all this. She knows Quinn deserves so much and it hurts to know that Quinn has to accept less than what she deserves because her mom was too caught up with her own issues.
"Finn made me walk back home that morning." She sees Rachel looking a bit confused by her segue but still staying silent and letting her get all her words out. It's amazing how much people change for those they love. Rachel was the one person who could just not keep quiet if her life depended on it but in the year that they've been together, Quinn's seen her just stay absolutely still, her lips not even firmly pressed together but just being quiet and waiting for Quinn to express what she needed.
"I was so sure I wouldn't get home in time and you'd be awake and worried and I couldn't explain how I felt and we'd have this big huge fight and you'd leave me and decide you're better off without me." She sees Rachel's eyebrows rise and her lips start to press together and know that right about now, Rachel really wants to cut in and refute what she's just said, only she still doesn't.
"Only about five minutes into my walk, my legs almost turn to jelly and all I could think of was just wanting to see you and then how lucky I was in knowing what love was. Always having S watch my back when she wasn't trying to beat me down or finding Jackson to show me that someone could actually love me and then the most miraculous thing in finding you." Rachel feels the last word exhaled around her and everything she's been holding back and wanting to say just disappears.
Rachel doesn't need to say anything now because Quinn was verbalizing it all for her. "I chose to be with you and I chose you as my family and I will always chose you." It's as close as she's come to a proposal but she knows that she still needs to be a bit more patient because Rachel deserved so much more and she's working her way up to that slowly but surely.
Quinn can see Beth peering at her from two seats down and she winks at her daughter before she feels Kurt's kick the back of her seat and she interprets that as him letting her know that he's there and she's on the right track with Rachel. Otherwise, she was almost sure he would have said something out loud and probably embarrassing to her.
#$#$#$#$#$
The housing broker looks on, harried and impatient as he sees Quinn and Kurt look around the apartment. He hopes this is the one but knows that its not the case when he hears her words.
"I give up." She flings her arms out taking all of it in, "This is just so wrong." Quinn has never sounded more defeated and it only spurs Kurt on to push his point for what feels like the twentieth time.
"You said that you're not going to stop until you found the perfect place for the both of you. You said and I quote." He actually has the audacity to air quote in front of her face even as she's trying to find the exit from this hell hole or according to Kurt, avant garde duplex that cost more than it should but at least less than the Taj Mahal.
"I need to find her a home." He finishes what he needs to say before nudging her towards the unassuming door at the end of the stairwell. He motions for the broker to follow albeit at a distance as he waits for her answer.
"Yeah" Quinn runs her hand through her hair, wondering if it was just her bad luck or if every apartment in New York was built with thin walls and windows overlooking your neighbor's house. "Some place she can come home to and feel safe and where we can make love and not have the neighbors stare at you…" She should the last few words as she walks past another open door, a balding man peering out at her and Kurt.
"Ok, I have to admit that the last three.." He sees Quinn whip around to stare him down, "Fine, the last five apartments were duds. But you said close to Broadway and nice which all of them were, in their own way. He is trying his best with what you told him"
She can't argue with him because she hadn't been specific to the housing broker and he just didn't know Rachel. She had been running ragged all week and Rachel had been worse. How she thought shooting a TV pilot while at the same time trying to mount a Broadway production was going to be doable, she cannot fathom. But they had been doing both and Quinn could see the toll it took on Rachel when they dragged themselves back to the hotel every night or sometimes at three in the morning.
The suite was great, bigger than most New York apartments with an unobtrusive cleaning service and Butler to boot. But it wasn't home and she could see Rachel needed to find someplace she could consider to be hers and have her own kitchen where she could make funny vegan pancakes or hot chocolate because she just wanted to taste the marshmallow floating on top.
"She has this picture in her head of her dream house, Dark wood furniture and a big bright kitchen. Understated and comfortable, colors but not a riot of them, you know." Quinn hadn't been to Rachel and Finn's house in Lima although she can guess as to the way it looked even with Rachel's own sense of style. She knows Kurt has though, "What was her house like?"
Kurt knows that Quinn's not asking as a way to put Finn down because apparently somehow in Lima, they had finally come to an understanding of sorts. Apparently it involved some violence and some alcohol but in the end, both Finn and Quinn settled on wanting what was best for Rachel.
"She made it bright, getting Finn to paint the old furniture and opening all the windows even when the weather wasn't too forgiving. She never really liked to bake, not the way Carol did but she did it anyway because it made it smell homey even if it just looked…" He sees Quinn looking thoughtful at his words, "even if it just looked run down. How do you know what her perfect house is?"
Quinn looks at the last address he has listed for her, not an apartment this time but a small brownstone, in the Upper West side, near enough to Shelby as well as to a number of Roman Catholic churches and synagogues. She sees the area circled on the map and finally feels like maybe she's on the right track, "She says things, little snippets here and there. Pointing out furniture she likes and fabrics that catch her attention. Once we were at a restaurant downtown with an open concept kitchen and she loved the mosaics and the set up..." she trails off as she sees Kurt looking at her askance.
"What?"
"You really listen to her." He wishes that he had their relationship, that there was someone out there who loved him enough to listen to him when he rambled about a color or sweater weave that caught his eye. He's so happy that Rachel finally got what the both of them always dreamt of. Someone who loved her unconditionally, someone meant only for her. He knows that deep down none of them are really surprised that it's Quinn, except for maybe Mr. Schue and Sam. He sighs when he hears Quinn's answer back, wondering if it's only a matter of time for him and hoping he'll not spend it alone.
"Always." She smiles at him, "And we need to check out the last house on the list. I have a pretty good feeling about the place."
"Why, does it come with ten inch walls and no neighbors?" He's reverted to bitchiness and Quinn links her arm to his, always grateful that he had been there for Rachel when she couldn't be.
"No." She smiles, "Because it has a great guest room in the back that you should be perfectly comfortable in." She laughs at his double take and knows that Rachel would have insisted on the same thing.
#$#$#$#$#$
"Ok, how about this…'It's only a matter of time, I need to keep my head above the water, just breathe and wait for a sign…' Rachel sings the words, the tune not quite right but she knows it's getting there when she sees Leo start writing furiously.
She's never worked with a composer before but so far the experience like everything before it, has been a good one. When Quinn had broached the subject of her writing a few more original songs for the musical, she had been surprised.
"I thought you were just going to use songs we knew?" They're sitting outside on the balcony of the hotel room, or rather Quinn's sprawled in one of the armchairs and Rachel's on her lap, their limbs intertwined.
"I could do that but…" She's a bit distracted by her hand splayed across Rachel's stomach, feeling the warmth it radiates and wondering just how private the balcony was. Considering it was advertized as completely private, Quinn wonders if she should test that theory to ensure its veracity for the Hotel's sake of course.
"Quinn!"Rachel giggles as she feels Quinn's hand drift downwards. "We're talking about the show. Does everything make you think about sex?" It's a rhetorical question mainly because she's the same way. Quinn could be chewing on the end of a pen and she'd find it sexy and actually get turned on just by looking at her.
She sees Quinn's arched eyebrow, "Yes." She answers the question solemnly, "But only when it pertains to you." Her first encounter with Puck was over even before she could process the act. Jackson had been respectful and tender but she knew that there just wasn't that spark. And Selena had shown her how to sometimes let go, be a little wanton but she could never fully give herself over no matter how much she wanted to. And in the end, it was obvious that it was Rachel whom she burned for. She was addicted to her, her senses all attuned to the feel of Rachel and to her smell and taste.
But she does still her hand, "Ok, fine. We should talk about this but I'm not moving my hand." now placed just below Rachel's stomach, the tips of her fingers underneath the waistband of Rachel's jeans, tantalizingly close but at least she knows her perseverance will pay off eventually for the both of them.
"I was thinking that maybe you could write a few songs. You've done it before and Rach…they were amazing. Full of heart and just right." It's an idea she had been toying with ever since she started to adapt her screenplay for the stage. They had to give the other characters some of the songs and it hit her that Rachel had more than one gift. The songs she had written even in High School had stood the test of time and maybe she would want to write a few more.
"But I'm not a ….Quinn…this is Broadway, I just can't.."Quinn's looking at her unperturbed as if her request was something so simple. "Do you really think?" It's not that she doesn't believe in herself but it would seem that Quinn always believed in her more.
"We'll get a composer and a lyricist if you want but if you think you may want to try it, I know you'll do great." She has such faith in Rachel. She can't really explain it but she just knows that it's the right decision when Rachel kisses her in response, her hand already unbuttoning her shirt.
"So, the hotel brochure did say private balcony, right?" Rachel's question coming out in between each kiss as she moves to straddle Quinn.
"Yeah and I do believe we need to ensure that that statement is correct, you know for consumers everywhere." She smiles as she feels Rachel removes her shirt and her hands undo the buttons on Rachel's jeans.
"Right." The word panted out as she feels Quinn's dexterous hands start to perform their magic.
"Earth to Rachel! C'mon Rach, you were on a roll." She hears Leo calling her and has to shake her head and focus on his words.
"Sorry, I just got a bit distracted." She shrugs hoping he'll understand that it's not that she does not have a work ethic but that she just misses Quinn. At first she thought that the need she felt to see the blonde constantly would eventually fade. But contrary to that, it never went away. Ever since Quinn had shown up in Lima, their meeting in the choir room, Rachel had felt this pull to be near her. She had fought that instinct and tried to ignore it like she had ignored the ache in her heart but the moment she had given into it, it felt right and she never looked back.
She sees Leo grinning at her like he can read her mind, "So where is the love of your life? I thought she wanted to hear what we have so far." He had graduated from the conservatory of music only three years ago but had got his big break when he won a Jonathan Larson grant two years back. He's staged two short musicals but had never worked on Broadway until now.
He had been shocked when he got a call from Quinn Fabray, her name sounding slightly familiar but he had not been able to place it at the time, only agreeing to meet with her. Then she and Jackson had shown up on his doorstep hours later, offering him a chance that he thought he wouldn't get for a few years at least. It had be Jackson who found him and when Quinn had heard his work, they had both been convinced that he would be perfect to work on their show.
And here he was, working with Rachel Berry. Her voice was astounding and he has to admit that if he wasn't gay, he could totally fall in love with her especially after watching Quinn's movie. He had rushed out to rent it when he finally recognized Quinn. Watching it on repeat and falling just a little bit in love with Rachel nevertheless. It wasn't just her voice that captivated but she radiated this light and intensity that came across so strongly.
Best of all, he got inducted into their rag tag family having lost his own parents a few years back. Meeting Julie and Kurt had been great and finally meeting Rachel as well. They had just accepted him, Kurt already ragging him for being the only gay man with no sense of style in New York such that he would find pieces of clothing in his bag each time he went home; a vest, two pairs of pants and weirdly a kilt two days ago.
It's then that he finally gets the melody right in his head, the notes rearranging themselves, a perfect accompaniment to Rachel's lyrics. "Let's just get this verse done and I'm sure she'll be here soon."
"Sure."Rachel nods and wonders where Quinn is. She had said she would meet her at the theatre as soon as she took care of something and she knows Kurt is with her so she's not worried. She is curious though, wondering if Quinn was planning something and remembering the look she had given her in the auditorium in Lima when Jackson had proposed to Julie. That look had spoke volumes to her, a promise of things to come, a vow that they'll be together always and that one day, when she was ready, Quinn was going to say the words.
So, she's not expecting a proposal from Quinn, at least not yet. It's not that she hasn't already pledged to spend her life with Quinn because in her mind, that was inevitable. She had rushed into her first marriage and had been swept away not by any romantic gestures but just the fear of needing to fit in. She knows for a fact that she and Quinn fit together and had so much to look forward to that she does not need a ring as proof or a piece of paper to tell her that they belong together. And maybe, she didn't have to wait for Quinn, when she felt the time was right, maybe she should be the one to propose. "Let's get back to work."
#$#$#$#$
"Why are you in such a hurry all of a sudden?" Kurt can barely keep up as Quinn tries unsuccessfully to flag a cab down. He hadn't been surprised when she had signed the lease to the brownstone without even batting an eyelid on the price.
The minute she saw the hardwood floors and the bright yellow walls of the kitchen, she had already started picturing Rachel there. He could picture it too along with the fact that Quinn had this gleam in her eye that meant he wouldn't be able to move in until they christened each and every room their own special way. "I know you're excited to tell her but just promise me if you do, do it in my room, I don't want to know about it."
His words almost making her trip before she stops and whirls around laughing, "Kurt! What makes you think we're going to have.." her voice trailing off when she sees the look he's giving her; part disbelief and part 'I'm gay not blind'
"Fine. We won't tell you but you have to admit that you put the idea in my head and now I can't not think about it." her smile so wide until she hears his next words.
"If you go in looking like that, she's going to think you're going to propose." It's an off the cuff remark made because Rachel had told him of Quinn's propensity to look so happy when she had a surprise for her that she could always guess as to how big the surprise was because it was in direct relation to how happy Quinn looked and right now, she looked positively estatic.
"What?" Or she did until he opened his mouth. Kurt's eyes widen as he sees Quinn stalk up to him, "Does she think I'm going to propose? Does she expect me to?" her rising voice indicating her panicked state as she pulls on his jacket. "Kurt!"
He has to pry her fingers from his Burberry suede jacket, hoping her nails hasn't scratched it even as he startles at the way she uses his name. "I don't know." He only realizes it's the wrong answer when she takes hold of his jacket again, this time he can see her nails digging into it as he sighs hoping he'll find another one like it.
"Kurt, does she want me to propose?"
"Have you thought about it?"It's a valid question to ask and he hopes it buys him enough time to gather his thoughts because he's not sure if Rachel has thought about it either.
Quinn reminds herself to breathe and not panic before she answers Kurt. "No…Yes…Yeah, I do think about it but I also think that she wouldn't want to rush into anything. I…don't want to rush her either. Knowing she loves me is enough." She vacillates between thinking that she wants to show Rachel that she's fully completely irrevocably committed and giving her space to find her own way first because she had lost ten years in doing things that were not for her own happiness.
"Sweetie, I don' think it's about what she wants or what you want but what's finally right for the both of you. And no, she's never said anything about expecting you to propose. I mean after what she went through with Finn, I guess maybe she would want to propose to you." And it did make sense the moment he said it. Rachel Berry always knew what she wanted and he's willing to bet good money that it was only a matter of time before she realized that she wants to marry Quinn.
Quinn's never thought of the fact that Rachel could be the one to broach the subject of marriage. Between the both of them, she was more the traditionalist even though Rachel had been the one to test the institution of marriage first. But she knew that that decision was driven more by fear and the fact that Rachel thought she was pregnant.
"I think I may want to make another stop before we get to the theatre." a plan already forming in her mind. She sees Kurt looking at her, curiosity written all over his face.
"I'm not going to propose, at least not today." He recognizes that look of determination that Quinn has. It had got her through a lot and he knows that whatever she's planning, he can't stop her but at least he can ensure that she doesn't go overboard.
"But I need to be prepared such that when I do or when she does, it'll be perfect."
End Part 18
So to make it fun and a bit challenging for me, give me a few scenarios you'd like to see in the story. Maybe a scene or something. I may try something a bit different in the next chapter but am not sure as yet. And remember reviewing is good for the soul :)